I hear mumbles and things breaking. Reality comes at me full force – I’m being robbed. Holy shit! What the hell am I supposed to do? Panic takes over and whether it’s from the freezing air in the garage or the sickening feeling consuming me, my hands start shaking.
Deep breaths. Just take a few deep breaths, Lucy. They don’t think anyone’s home. They won’t even be looking for you. I try to coach myself into a calmness that just isn’t happening.
It’s pitch black and I can’t see a freaking thing, so it takes me a minute to get my bearings. Trying to remember where everything is, I step around the garbage pails and side step the box of chopped wood for the fireplace.
I’m straining so hard to hear what’s going on in the house that I can actually feel my pulse beating in my ears, the blood, a loud swooshing sound that drowns out the crashes going on inside. I fumble at the tool counter to my side, but when I nearly knock over the gardening shears, I stop, frozen with fear that I’ll make noise.
Eyeing my car, I think about crawling into the back seat and hiding, but then again, I’ll make noise. My legs are too paralyzed with fear to do anything anyway.
As I slide down to the floor, I realize my cell phone is still in my back pocket. I call 9-1-1 and tell them what’s going on, my heart beating like crazy, my voice barely above a whisper. I tell the operator my name and location, but when she tries to keep me on the line, I have to hang up – too fearful of being heard.
It’s the longest five minutes of my life as I hear things being tossed around, my house being ransacked. Right before I hear the sirens approach the house, I actually consider going back into the kitchen to rationalize with them.
One thing stops me – Melanie. She’s already lost so much - having to grow up without a father is more than she should ever have had to deal with. The thought of her having to go on without me, keeps me cemented to my spot.
The gravel in the driveway sprays up against the garage door as the cop cars speed in. The guys in my living room scramble as the cops swerve in front of the house. Nerves jittering all over the place, I don’t know when to come out. I think whoever was robbing me has been chased outside, but I still don’t want to chance it.
As a sliver of yellow light filters into the garage, my breath hitches in my throat. I don’t even realize I’m holding my breath until my chest starts buzzing with pain. I can barely focus my attention on whatever movements are happening by the door. The recycling pail is kicked over – glass and metal cover the floor. It’s only when I see the ray of a flashlight searching the corners of the garage that I piece together that it must be a police officer. Fear paralyzes me. I don’t want to move too quickly, afraid that my sudden movements might put me in the way of an itchy trigger finger.
Deep breaths. Just keep calm and wait for…I’m not really sure what, but I’m too scared to make the first move.
The rakes and brooms roll across the floor as the officer makes his way toward me. He doesn’t speak, probably afraid to focus any attention on his exact location. But the garage isn’t all that big; there’s only one corner left to inspect – the one in which I’m currently crouched.
Hugging my knees closely to my chest, I try to stay as still as possible, but the sobs that creep up on me make me shake even more than I already am.
“Put your hands up!” A loud male voice booms out as the flashlight falls on me.
I listen, but can only lift up one hand as the light blinds me. “I l-live h-here.” My teeth chatter; my breath swirls steam into the frigid air. Tears stream down my face and I register somehow that he’s lowered his gun.
“Are you okay, ma’am? Were you hurt?” Standing next to me, he holsters his gun and wraps an arm around my shoulder.
“I’m fine. I…I came in here as soon as…” my words trail off and mingle with my sobs.
He speaks into his radio, letting the others know that he’s found me and that we’re re-entering the house through the side door.
An EMT is waiting for me in the kitchen and she drapes a blanket around me. I try desperately to focus on what’s going on around me, but it’s just too much. Radio static fills the room as the other officers, who were in a foot race with the people who broke in, let us know that they caught the suspects. Two teenagers looking for quick cash. Everything sounds so clinical, so technical, but I just can’t get my emotions in check. What if…what if… those words play on repeat in my head. No matter how much I try and tell myself I’m okay and nothing happened to me, I can’t shake the sinking feeling of fear that’s swallowing me whole.
“Is there anyone you can call?” The officer who found me in the garage asks as he slides into the chair next to me. Linda is out for the night with her sister. If I call Melanie, she’ll just panic and want to race home and I don’t want to scare her. I could call Maddy and Reid, but something about that screams pathetic.
One last option chimes in, but could I? What would he say? Would he even care? Something tells me he would, so I dial his number in the hopes that he’ll answer his cell even though it’s past one in the morning.
On the third ring, he answers, his voice drowsy and raspy with sleep. “Lucy?”
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” I know he can hear me crying through the line; there’s no disguising it.
“What’s wrong, Lucy?” I hear him toss back his sheets.
His voice alone relaxes me. Taking a deep breath, I calm myself enough to give him the basics. “Someone tried to break in. I got stuck in the garage until the police officer found me.”
“What the fuck?” His anger takes me by surprise. He doesn’t strike me as someone who curses all that often, but I can hear him rushing around in a frenzy, swearing like a sailor. “I’ll be right there.” And then, the line goes dead.
In the fifteen minutes it takes Evan to get to my house, the officers ask me a slew of questions and have me fill out some papers pressing charges against the suspects. Since I never saw anyone, there’s no need for me to identify them. In my exhausted state, I hear vague facts about dusting for prints on my TV and computer. I should have my things back in a few days or maybe a week – depending on how long it takes my insurance company to pay out. I honestly don’t care about all that. I just want to feel safe again. I just want the mess cleaned up, the furniture put back in place and my home back to normal.
“Where is she?” Evan’s concerned voice calls out from the front entryway. “Lucy?”
I swear I feel him walk into the room, vibrating with anger, radiating concern. He kneels down on the floor next to me. Too afraid of the tears that I know will pour when I look at him, I cradle my face in my hands.
“It’s okay. Shhh, you’re okay. That’s all that matters.” His words only make me cry more. In a movement that takes me by surprise, he pulls me from the chair and sits down in my place, pulling me onto his lap.
Gently, he strokes his fingers through my hair and my cries recede. The officer, who has been here the whole time, lets me know that he’ll be in touch if he needs anything else. Evan shakes his hand while keeping his other one holding me close to his warm, solid chest.
“I’m just going to walk them out and lock the door behind them. I’ll be right back,” he whispers soothingly into my ear and eases up from the chair.
“You’ll take care of her?” the officer asks as he walks with Evan out of the kitchen.
“Of course,” he answers with certainty as he closes and locks the door. The need to be held, to be comforted, overwhelms me and I walk across the kitchen and fall into his arms.
“I was so scared.” Coiling my arms around his waist, I press my cheek up against his chest as he continues stroking my hair. His lips press into the top of my head before he leans his cheek in the spot he just kissed.
“I know, I know. I’m here now. It’s okay.” I’m relieved when he doesn’t ask me anything about what happened. I don’t want any part of reliving the last hour.
We stand here in the unquiet silen
ce of my small home for a few long moments, me pulling some strength from Evan’s comforting touch.
When I step out of his arms, he searches my face for some kind of…I guess just some kind of something to let him know I’m okay. On a huge, deep breath, I release a sigh. “Thank you for coming over.”
“Of course.” He shoots me a ‘don’t be crazy’ look. “If I didn’t leave in the first place…” He runs his hand through his hair, gripping on the ends.
“Stop, Evan. Neither one of us could have known.”
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he puffs out a frustrated breath. “Yeah, but your car was in the garage because mine was in the driveway. They must have seen me leave and thought they could get away with everything. I left you here all alone and they…”
“You can’t blame yourself.” The idea that he’s spent his entire career protecting others is not lost on me. I can’t imagine the things he’s seen, the scenarios that are playing through his mind.
“But something could’ve happened to you.” His words are filled with so much emotion as he softly caresses my cheek with his knuckles. “I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.” Crushing me to his chest again, I get lost in the feel of his arms wrapping tightly around me.
“I’m so tired,” mumbling through my yawn, I step out of his arms.
He checks the clock on the microwave. “Yeah, it’s almost two thirty. I guess I should go.”
“What?” Anxiety laces through me. “No, you can’t.” I reign in my panic, not wanting to look too needy. “I mean, would you stay, please? I really don’t want to be alone.”
I expect to see him war with the decision; his earlier words about never having settled down with anyone ringing through my head. So when he agrees almost automatically, I’m more than a little surprised.
“I’ll camp out down here.” He starts moving some cushions around on the too-small couch.
Touching his arm stops his movements. “No…I… would you…” God, I sound like an idiot. He turns and looks down at me with his stunning, but oh-so-tired, grey eyes. “I don’t want to sound too forward, but would you stay with me instead of down here.”
Now, he wars with what to say. I can only imagine what he must be thinking; I’m sure this isn’t what he signed up for and if I could, I would take it back. The unsettled silence fills the room as he considers my question.
“No, you know what…”
“I’ll stay.”
Our words run over each other once again, as they have a few times before. Strange how that happens.
Hugging him once more, I nearly cry at how safe I feel knowing I won’t be alone tonight. “Thank you. I’m sorry to…”
“Lucy, please. Stop with the ‘I’m sorrys.’” He cups my jaw and plants a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. “There is nowhere I’d rather be right now.” After kissing the other corner of my mouth just as sweetly as he kissed the first, he wraps his arm around my shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you to bed now.” And we walk up the narrow stairs arm in arm.
I step into the adjoining bathroom when we get to my room. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I stare at myself in the mirror. To say it’s weird being in this room with another man is a huge understatement, but it also feels strangely normal.
When I go back out into my room, Evan is slouched over on the edge of the bed, elbows resting on his thighs, cradling his head in his hands – his shoes and socks in a pile on the floor. I guess tonight took a toll on him too.
“Bathroom’s all yours. I left you out a new toothbrush too.” I smile lamely, trying to ease the tension of the night.
“Thanks. I’ll be right out.” As he walks past me, I catch the scent of his cologne and immediately feel calmer, more at ease.
I make quick work of changing and climb into bed, sheer and utter exhaustion washing over me the second I hit the pillow. When Evan comes back into the room, I fold back the comforter for him to get under the blankets. Fully clothed, he wiggles under the blankets.
“You don’t have to sleep in your jeans, Evan. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“Sleeping in bed with a beautiful woman and having to keep my hands to myself is going to be challenging enough.”
My cheeks heat and I thank God the only light in the room is the muted glow of the moon as a few clouds pass in the night sky.
I never said he had to keep his hands to himself. Must be his own idea at chivalry or something like that.
I decide to drop it, not wanting to make him feel uneasy – not wanting to make me feel uneasy. But as he lies back, he squirms in place. Shifting and moving restlessly, he finally forfeits the fight with his pants. Standing abruptly, he shucks them down and quickly climbs back into bed. “Fine. You were right. Happy now?” he snips with more than a little playfulness in his words.
I stifle the “I told you so” that’s dancing on the tip of my tongue and cuddle up next to him instead. Nuzzling into the side of his warm body, I smile against his t-shirt-covered chest. “Yes, very happy.”
Resting his cheek atop my head, I feel his smile as well. “Good, then I’m happy too. Now, let’s get some rest.”
I angle my head up to him as he stares hungrily down at me. He reaches out to me, stroking his hand across my cheek for a moment before pulling my face up to his. His lips dance softly along mine, sensually and teasingly at the same time. He rolls to his side and he runs his rough hand up and down my arm, leaving a million points of dotted flesh in its wake. My nipples stiffen under my shirt and he has to feel their hardened points pressing into his chest.
The growing erection settled against my belly makes me fully aware of how I’m affecting him. I press against him, moaning into our kiss. A whimper flies out when he pulls away. “Did I do something wrong?” I search his face for some kind of answer.
He smiles sexily at me, rubbing his hand up and down my arm again. “No, you definitely didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just with everything tonight… I don’t want this to be tainted by what happened earlier.” He pops a sweet, soft kiss to my forehead and squeezes me to his chest, accidentally copping a feel as he does so.
“You just grabbed my boob,” I giggle and look up at him. I laugh even harder when he does it again.
“Actually, it was just side-boob,” he chuckles and we both let out a deep exhale.
“Come on. Let’s get some rest,” he whispers against my hair and my eyes suddenly feel as if they’re weighed down with lead.
Cocooned in his warmth, encircled in his arms, bathed in his masculine scent, I fall asleep faster than I have in years.
Blinding sunlight fills the room. I roll away from it expecting to find Evan, but he’s gone. Reaching next to me, I discover I’m all alone, but the bed is still warm. Curling up around the pillow he used, I can still smell him. Sadness punches me in the gut; he’s left already.
I knew last night was just about being there for me after the house was broken into, but I was actually looking forward to waking up beside him. Not one to wallow around in self-pity for too long, I get out of bed and head down stairs to make some coffee and call Linda.
Just as I’m about to pull the coffee container out of the cabinet, I hear something out in the garage. Fear grips at me again. What if one of those guys got away? What if they came back? I hear loud clunks as someone climbs the three steps back into the house. With a heavy cast-iron frying pan in hand and ready to go, I stand beside the garage door.
It falls from my hands and crashes to floor when I see Evan coming back into the kitchen.
“Hey! What’s all this about?” He picks the pan up from the floor as I clutch at my chest like the damsel in distress that I so clearly appear to be right now.
Slinking down into a chair, I calm my racing heart and laugh at just how ridiculous the scene must have looked from his point of view.
“You weren’t in bed when I woke up, so I thought you left. Then I heard someone in the garage and I couldn’t exactly go
in there and hide. The pan was there, so I just grabbed it.” He laughs and sits next to me.
“Why would I leave you?”
Shrugging my shoulders is probably the lamest response I can come up with, but that’s all I’ve got right now.
“Well, you didn’t want to take your pants off last night. And then you stopped when I was kissing you, so I figured you….”
His loud, booming laughter cuts my words off abruptly. “Wait a second,” he chuckles, placing his hand on top of mine on the table. “You think that just because I didn’t want to get nearly naked with you last night after you could have been attacked that I didn’t want to be here in some way?” His quirked eyebrow and small smile reveal just how good looking he really is.
“I…well…I mean…yeah, I thought you felt obligated, like I was a burden, a pain in the ass, a helpless….you can stop me anytime here.” I’m rambling and he’s letting me.
“And how would that be fun?” Winking at me, he stands and continues making the coffee I had just taken out. I scan the kitchen and into the living room office combo spreading out to the side of it, and I realize he must have gotten up early to clean for me.
Gratitude spreads warmly in my chest. Seeing my home back in order and knowing that he took care of it for me makes me fall for him even more than I already am.
But, falling for him or not, I can’t let him off the hook that easily. I lean up against the counter, facing him and crossing my arms. “Okay then, hot-shot. What was all the angsty, head-in-hands brooding about last night?”
After snapping the lid to the coffee container back in place, he slides the container back into the cabinet that I’m just now realizing is also fixed. “I’m not sure,” he says softly, shaking his head. “Maybe it was just being in your room. Mostly it had to do with knowing that you needed me and I failed you. I left you alone and you were almost hurt.”
Let Love Be Page 12