by Breena Wilde
Mindy nods.
“We’re heading to the Botanical.” I don’t invite him to come with us.
I feel bad. But it isn’t that I led him on. We had a good time together. I can still recall his kind eyes that first night. Our time together in his steamy hotel shower. The way he helped me after I slipped and knocked myself unconscious in his hotel room. I remember the sweet way he tried to make sure I was protected from the paparazzi. I’d felt safe with him. He was the first man I slept with that I actually felt… anything for.
For those reasons he’s special to me, a person I won’t forget.
And if Lincoln hadn’t busted down my door, dragged me to that old warehouse, and chained me to a bed in the Blue Room where I met the kinky son-of-a-bitch John Zane, I’d probably still be smitten.
I mean I’d be fucking nuts not to think Cruze is hot. John Cruze is the personification of the hottest man on the planet. No question. I mean there’s so much to look at: piercing eyes, his flawless jawline, the way his lips quirk when he talks or laughs, and his glorious hair. Not to mention his body. Good God, his body is perfection. A part of me still believes the way I did when I first met him, that he must be the love child of the Greek gods, Eros and Artemis.
One fact remains though. John Cruze is not John Zane.
And the more I get to know the Hollywood actor with the supposed heart of gold, the more I’ve come to realize he isn’t everything he seems.
Sure, he’s still kind. He still makes my heart speed up at the sight of him.
The bottom line is I’m not in love with him. My heart wholly and completely belongs to John Zane. Fucking jerk. He left again, this time taking my heart and soul with him.
“John, let’s run lines for our next scene,” Scarlett hollers.
Cruze seems momentarily annoyed, but shrugs. “Have a nice lunch, Cade.”
Scarlett saved the day. “You too,” I respond. He’s already walking toward Scarlett and I glance at her. She smiles and I nod. It’s surprising, but I’ve come to respect her and think she and I might end up becoming friends.
Chapter 10
Cruze
After filming my lines to the directors' liking I head to my trailer. There are several women loitering around the door. One reminds me of Cadence—the way she stands and the color of her hair—and my heart skips a beat. She does care, I think excitedly. I touch her shoulder. “Ca—” When the girl turns I realize it isn’t her. I grit my teeth. “I want to be left alone. Go away.”
I hear several gasps, but I can’t even pretend to give a shit right now. Besides, the cameras aren’t rolling.
Dumb bitches.
I lock the door, open the full size refrigerator for a beer, and pop the top. The icy coolness hits the back of my throat and I immediately relax. The room is quiet, too quiet, and I can hear the girls milling around outside. I think about getting up and turning on some music or the TV, anything to drown out their annoying whining. Instead a feeling creeps across my mind. A need—the need I’ve kept buried for eighteen months—starts to rear its ugly, and glorious, head.
I freeze, allowing it to curl its way through my body. Like a poisonous plant it spreads rapidly, twisting and turning, snaking and winding until the desire I’ve worked so hard to push away takes hold of every part of me once again.
I sigh and finish my beer.
The need and I are like long lost friends and God, I’ve missed it.
My manager, Diane, will be pissed. She knows my deep dark secret. She’s even helped cover up potential problems in the past. She helped me stop the last time, bury it. “Take a break,” she'd said. “Just for a while, until all of this calms down.”
I’d listened.
I’d put on a kind face, turned over a new leaf, as she called it. I’d become the man she knew the public wanted. And the new persona had worked. I’d become the sexiest man of the planet. She’s done her job. But I was fucking miserable. I needed certain things. They fulfilled me.
It was time to wake the monster and become the man I’d always been. The man I needed to be. For myself, but mostly for Cadence.
“Hell, she likes it kinky.”
If Diane didn’t like it she could go fuck herself. I was done being the nice guy, done pretending I was someone I wasn’t. It was fine in front of the cameras, but in real life I need to be who I am.
All of my toys are still where I left them. I tried to have the contractors tear down that part of my house, but made them stop at the last minute.
The decision made, I stand and open the door.
“Who wants to party with me?” I ask the girls still standing outside my trailer door. It’d been a while and I decide I need a practice girl before I invite Cadence over.
They all raise their hands and shout.
“Me!”
“I do!”
“Pick me, John!”
I choose the one I thought had been Cadence. “Come on,” I say, giving her a leisurely smile. This is going to be so fucking easy. But then it always is.
Chapter 11
Cruze
Murder isn’t something I enjoy. Yes, it tends to happen to the girls I use my special skills on. If I could have my way I’d keep them alive indefinitely, but their bodies give out. It’s the blood loss, I’m sure. I could give them more blood; that would help, but it seems like a waste when I can always get another.
“Wakey-wakey, little doll,” I coo.
Her eyes flutter and I groan inwardly. Her wrists and ankles are cuffed to a sterilized table. Plastic covers every surface. I’ve got my toys, which consist of various types of knives, some sex toys, and a drill, sitting on a rolling table to my right.
The girl opens her eyes and I watch confusion and then understanding settle across her features.
“Glad you could join me. It’s no fun if you aren’t awake.”
She tries to speak but I’ve taped her mouth. She’s my living doll, and dolls don’t talk.
“The only noises I want to hear are your screams.”
She starts to tremble, tries to free herself from the steel restraints. Tears leak from her eyes.
Totally understandable.
I pick up a scalpel and hold it out for her to see. She shakes her head from side to side and, even through the tape, I understand as she repeats one word over and over again.
“No. No. No. No. No. No.”
I wrap my free hand around her neck. “Yes,” I growl. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? To spend time with the John Cruze? The hottest man on the planet? I’m sure if you could talk you’d say you wanted to get to know the real me. The man behind the actor. Then we’d make out and fuck. I know you want to tell your filthy friends we fucked. Right?”
Her frightened eyes return my gaze.
“Right?” I ask, slamming her head against the steel table.
She nods.
I smile brightly. “This is the real me. Surprise.” I press the side of the blade against the taut skin on her left hip. There’s a small butterfly tattoo there that needs to come off. I prefer a blank canvas. The scalpel is incredibly sharp. As I skim the sharp end just under the skin where the butterfly sits, it takes the girl a few seconds to realize that I’m cutting her. Blood pools and runs down to her pussy. I pick up the skin with the butterfly on it and hold it for her to see. “Better,” I say and toss it onto the floor.
She screams.
I close my eyes and sigh.
“God, I’ve missed this.”
The girl screams again.
I grin. “Practice makes perfect. Cadence is next.”
Chapter 12
Zane
My phone rings. “Captain.” I rise from my leather chair and go to the window. The view is of palm trees and white sand pushing against the bright blue ocean. It’s beautiful, but if he’s calling that means there’s a problem. I can’t help but worry about Cadence. My amazing PFA. It’s only been a week, but I miss her like I never believed it was a possible. “What�
�s going on? Is Cadence alright?”
“Miss Norton is fine.”
“Then why are you calling me?”
“That problem we discussed? It may be happening again.” He takes a bite of something and proceeds to chew in my ear.
Disgusting.
“May be? Or is?” I switch the phone to speaker so I don’t have to have his chewing directly against my face.
“A dead body was discovered. It’s been cut up the same way the others were found. I believe it is the same.”
Sickness fills my gut. I should’ve killed him. It would’ve been better than to allow him to torture another poor girl. But he stopped suddenly, before I was able to catch him in the act. This time I won’t fail. John Cruze will pay for killing my wife. “I’ll be back as soon as possible. Make sure there are no issues with the Solokov case and me being in L.A. You know I had nothing to do with the shady parts of his business. I was only using him to get to Cruze.”
“It’s been taken care of.”
“Good. Because this time he’ll die. You’d better make sure I’m given the breathing room I need.”
The captain sighs. “I’ll do the best I can. Be careful. If you don’t play it right and they even think you’re involved with Cruze and his madness, my hands will be tied.”
What a douche. “I’ll do my fucking part. You make sure you do yours.” I hang up and turn to Lincoln. I’d heard him come in. “It’s time to go back. The twisted fuck didn’t take nearly as long as we thought he would to get back into his darkness."
“Yes, Mr. Zane.”
I hear the sound of giggling from the hall and smile. Lincoln says, “They’re too excited about going to the beach with you. I was barely able to get master Drew and miss Evie to finish their Japanese lesson."
I set my phone on the desk and chuckle. There’s a lot that must be done back in the states, but for now I’ll focus on my beautiful children. I don’t see them nearly enough. Once Cruze is gone, I’ll bring them back to L.A. I know Rita will be happy. She’s missed them at least as much as my twins have missed her. She’s their Nana, the only grandmother they’ve ever known.
For now the problems in L.A. are forgotten. I clap Lincoln on the shoulders. “Let’s play.”
Lincoln smiles. “You want me to come?”
“Come or you’ll be fired, my friend.” I wink, hoping my most trusted employee will relax a little.
He smiles. “Well then, I’d better get changed.”
“Yes, you should.” I jog into the hallway. Evie and Drew jump into my arms. I scoop them up and spin them in circles. “What should we do first? Swim or sand castles?”
“Castles,” Even shouts between laughs.
“Swim,” Drew says seriously.
I stop spinning and look at them. “Pick a number between one and one thousand."
Evie shouts, “Seven hundred eighty-six, no, seven.”
“Uh huh.” I squeeze her and kiss her cheek. “And your guess?”
Drew is very serious. He takes after his father.
“Nine,” he says thoughtfully.
“Why nine?” I ask, not even a little surprised he’s picked the exact number I chose.
“Most of the time you ask us to pick a number between one and ten. It’s usually a three or four. This time you asked us to choose between one and a thousand so I figured it would still be below ten, but not quite ten.”
My boy is so smart. Smarter than I’ll ever be.
“Am I right, daddy?” Evie asks, impatient.
“Drew guessed the right number,” I say.
Evie crosses her arms and pouts. “It’s okay, baby-girl. We’ll do castles second. The sand will keep us warm.”
Drew turns thoughtful. “If sissy wants to do castles first, I won’t mind. As long as we play right now.”
“Yay!” Evie says, cheering.
“'kay, let’s get in our suits and I’ll meet you on the sand in ten minutes.” I set them down.
“I’ll hurry, Daddy,” Evie says and takes off toward her room.
“Daddy. Dad,” Drew says, his face scrunched in thought.
I kneel in front of him. “What’s on your mind?”
“You’re leaving again, aren’t you?” He stuffs his fists into his pants pockets, exactly the way I do.
I’m stunned at how perceptive he is. “Why would you say that?”
“You’re always extra happy right before you leave. You’re doing your extra happy talk.”
Tears suddenly prick my eyes. “Yes, I’ll be leaving in a few days.”
He nods, looking much older than his eight years. “How long will you be gone?”
I’m broken up inside. Since the death of my wife, their mother, Drew’s once bubbling personality has become much more somber.
I clear my throat. “I’ll be gone only a couple of weeks. When I come back this time it’ll be to bring you back to California so you can see Nana Rita. Does that sound alright?”
He pulls his fists from his pockets and hugs me fiercely, burying his little face in my shoulder. “You promise?” he asks.
I wrap my arms around him. “Promise.”
Drew sniffles.
“You think you can take care of Evie until I get back?”
He looks up at me. “Of course, Dad.”
I ruffle his hair. “Awesome.”
Chapter 13
Cadence
Filming has wrapped on The Supernatural Client List. It’s bittersweet. I enjoyed being on set every day. The excitement and buzz thrilled me in a way I couldn’t really describe. I started out this whole ordeal as Zane’s PFA. Learning from him had been a highlight. But I’ve come a long way in a few short months. I’m no longer an assistant or a body double. I’m the woman in charge. I signed paychecks earlier today.
Before Mindy left the set she found me and gave me her cell phone number. “I’d love to keep in touch. We can go out for drinks. Drown our sorrows in heavy liquor and frou-frou cocktails.”
“I’d like that.” I give her a hug. “You’re coming to the party tonight, right?”
She shrugs. “I hadn’t planned on it. Are you going?”
“Yeah, I probably should,” I say. I’m actually looking forward to it.
“Okay, well then I guess I’ll go.”
“Great. See ya.”
That’d been a few hours ago. I’d come home. Rita fed me a delicious dinner of steak and wine. Now I'm upstairs trying to figure out what to wear.
There are a lot of options, thanks to Zane. It's hard to wear something he bought me, though. I’d purchased a black cocktail dress. It plunges low with a scoop neck in the front as well as the back. The hem comes to just above my knees. It's sexy, not slutty. I wear black thigh highs and black Prada heels. My makeup is subtle except for my lips. I put a thick coat of red on them.
I stare at myself in the full-length mirror. Something is missing. I go back into the closet for some jewelry.
And that’s when I see it: the pearl necklace Zane had given me, the one I returned the night of my birthday party.
My thighs start to quake. I’d tried so hard not to think about him. It makes life easier if I focus on anything but how much I miss him.
“Where did you come from?” I whisper, gently touching the necklace. I pick it up and undo the clasp. My heart telling my hands to make me wear them.
Before I get them on, I force myself to change my mind. I’d told him I didn’t want them. They represent a life I want but can't have, because Zane said he loved me, but not enough.
I set the pearls back on the black velvet and pick out a thick red and black rope necklace. The gems look like rubies and onyx, but I guess it's just a costume piece. It has matching earrings and a bracelet, and I put them both on as well. Back at the mirror I check my reflection. “Better.”
My hair is up in a chignon. The jewelry accentuates my neck. I call the driver. His name is Charles. He isn’t Lincoln, which is good. Hopefully he’ll never break down one
of my doors and drag me out, kicking and screaming. He’s nice enough, though.
When he opens my limo door, I tell him where we’re going and climb in. The sun has set and the full moon is out. It’s so close to the water; I watch its reflection bleed into the waves. Melancholy threatens to overtake me, but I push it away.
A drink is in order, I think.
I make myself bourbon on the rocks. “Can you turn on some music?”
“Sure. Anything specific?”
I catch his gaze in the rearview mirror. “Top forty is fine.”
He turns on the radio. “… Police are unsure if this case is related to a series of dead girls they found almost two years ago. They say it’s possible, but aren’t jumping to any—”
Charles quickly changes the station and I breathe a sigh of relief. I remember the cases from two years ago. Living where I did, among all the poor, lots of people openly speculated about who the asshole was. Some even thought Fileze the Sleaze was behind the murders. Jessica and I knew it wasn’t him. If these deaths were related, it was obvious Fileze wasn’t behind them since he's dead.
“This okay?” Charles asks.
It’s Maroon 5. “Sure, this works.” I turn so I can better watch the scenery. Nigel’s house is up along the coast and the drive is gorgeous.
Chapter 14
Cruze
I’ve practiced on two different girls. I know the police found one of the bodies. According to the news they haven’t found the other. That’s good. If everything goes according to plan I’ll have my piece de resistance—Cadence Norton—locked in my special room before the sun rises. With Cadence it’ll be special, different from all the others. Because I love Cadence. I love her so much I think I’ve gone a little crazy. That she didn’t choose me is what has sent me over the edge. I’ll be sure to tell her that—I’m cracked crazy because of her. Because she chose that asshole Zane over me.