by Lori Leger
“Come on, Zach. Have we slept together?” She held her breath.
“No, we haven’t.”
“Oh, thank God!”
Zach popped to his feet, heading straight for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“Home. That shower and nap are looking pretty damn good right now.”
“Wait!” she called out to him, realizing how callous she must have sounded. “I’m sorry, Zach. I didn’t mean it that way.”
He turned to face her, one hand grasping the metal handle of the heavy, oak door. “Are you sure? Because if you did, there’s a fifth of Gentleman Jack at my place and it’s calling my name. I’ve been saving it for a special occasion, but what the hell! I figure this kind of rejection rates.”
“I only meant that after all this time, it would be a shame if it happened and I didn’t even remember it, that’s all. Kind of like, having sex by proxy, you know?”
He turned slowly, leaned heavily against the door, one booted foot crossed over the other. He pondered her explanation, finally nodded. “Yeah, I see your point, although, if it had happened and we did it again, you’d get to have two first times with me. That might be pretty cool.”
“Unless it wasn’t that great the first time, and I’d be disappointed twice.”
“Uh unh. It’ll be damn good.”
“Hm. Maybe for you.”
He straightened, walked slowly toward the bed to lean over her, his hands burrowing into the mattress on either side of her hips for support. His face a scant few inches from hers, he spoke in a low growl. “You won’t be disappointed. That, I can promise you.”
Cat licked her suddenly parched lips, and swallowed, wishing she had some water to quench her thirst. “Really…” She wondered if he was going to kiss her, her emotions lingering somewhere between ‘bring-it-on’ and ‘back-the-hell-off’.
Maybe he saw the uncertainty in her face, or maybe he had his own agenda. He settled for a tender kiss to her forehead, a friendly enough act he’d performed on previous occasions, though never before enacted in a manner as laden with such barely concealed sensuality.
She jumped at the sharp rapping on her door. Cat looked up as her sister and brother-in-law entered, Kellie’s significant belly breaching the doorway long before any other part of her.
“You’re okay!” Kellie squealed, waddling her way over to Cat.
Cat gasped at the hugeness of her sister. “You’re pregnant!”
Kellie placed both hands on her own belly. “Ya think?”
“My God, when are you due?”
“Yesterday, and I’ve been having Braxton Hicks contractions since I heard about you being in the accident.”
Cat sucked in her breath. “Sorry.” She placed her hands on the alien shape of Kellie’s baby bump. “Do you have more than one in there? You’re huge!”
Kellie’s smile faded. “Just one, and yes, I’m aware of that, Miss Skinny Minnie. Think we could move past the fact that I may never get into my size 5’s again?”
Zach scratched at his chin’s three-day growth of stubble, and leaned over to his would-be sister in law. “Welcome to my world, Kel. Some fun, huh?”
Kellie’s gaze flew from Cathryn to Zach. “Mom said something—you-you mean, she doesn’t remember that you—that she—that you and her …”
Bradley stepped up to hiss at his wife. “Babe, your mom told us that she still thought she was engaged to Chris.”
“What? I heard her say she remembered setting a date for the wedding, and then I had to go pee. I thought she was talking about this wedding.” She pointed both fingers at Zach.
Cat grabbed at her aching head, and let it fall back against the pillow. “Look, I’m sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings, but how about the three of you stop talking about me as though I’m not right here in front of you?”
Kellie began herding the two men out of the room. “Out! You two—out, now. Zachary, go home. Mom’s right, you do look like shit on a shingle. You need to shower, shave, eat, and sleep.” She waved a hand over Cathryn. “She’s obviously not going to die on us, though I may want to wring her skinny little neck before this is all over with. So, get the hell out of here and take care of you for a bit. Lord knows you’ve earned it.”
Kellie waited until the men were out of the room before turning on her sister. “Look, here’s the deal, big sister. You are definitely not yourself yet, so you are just going to have to trust that whatever I tell you is God’s honest truth. You are head over heels in love with that man out there.” She pointed at the door to indicate Zach.
“But what I remember is being in love with Chris. He’s a good man. A wonderful man.”
Kellie eased herself into the chair next to Cat’s bed. “I can’t argue with you on that count. You’ve always had fabulous tastes in men and I was very upset when you broke it off with Chris. The poor guy was heartbroken.”
“Then why give me such a hard time about this?”
“Because you broke it off for the right reasons, Cathryn. You and Zach—I don’t know—It’s like the planets aligned perfectly once you realized he was the one for you. The two of you are fantastic together. You belong together, Sis.”
“Maybe we will one day, but not today, Kel. Why can’t any of you understand that? I cannot help the way I feel!” She wiped at her eyes, hating herself for hurting Zach, but wanting nothing more than to hear the sound of Christian’s voice, to see his handsome face. “I think I’d like to call Chris.”
“Cat, no! You can’t do that.”
“Just to talk to him. I need to hear from him exactly what I said when I ended our relationship.”
“Oh my God. Do you have any idea what you’d be risking by doing that?”
“I don’t think I’d be risking anything just by talking to him.”
“You’d risk everything! Your eighteen year relationship with the man you were supposed to marry in several days.”
“But—”
“What do you want to do? Give Chris false hope, then turn around and break his heart all over again when you remember how crazy you are about Zachary? Come on, Cat. Even with amnesia, you have to recognize how cruel that would be.”
“But, what if I never remember?”
Kellie’s gaze turned to a hard glare. “You listen to me. You told me that when you and Chris first got together, you absolutely could not keep your hands off of each other. You told me later that you’d fallen in lust with him easily enough, but never in love with him. It wasn’t there, Cat. I swear to God. You tried to love him. You did. You agreed to marry him because you thought it would happen eventually, but it never did. There was a reason for that.” She leaned in to stare at her sister. “He wasn’t Zach!”
Cat heard the words, but her mind would not let her comprehend to the point of belief. “So I just led Chris on for, what, a year? Had crazy good sex with him every chance I got, then just dumped him a month or so before our wedding? All because he wasn’t Zach?”
“Because he wasn’t something. You didn’t know at the time what the problem was, or if you did, you didn’t tell me. It didn’t penetrate that thick skull of yours until you came back home and met up with Zach at the club. The two of you started dancing, and that was the beginning of it. All the pieces fell into place.” She leaned in closer, placing her finger in Cat’s face. “I will not allow you to throw away what you have with that poor guy out there, by putting another poor guy through hell, just so you can eventually dump him—again.” Her chin lifted in grim determination. “If I have to stay with you every minute of every day until your memory returns, I will make damn sure you won’t call Chris. It’s for your own good, as well as Chris and Zach’s.”
Cathryn’s groan rang out across the room. “How do I deal with the fact that when I look at Zach, hear his words, as sweet as they are, I feel as though I’m cheating on Chris? I can’t help it.” She grabbed her temples. “Oh God, my head is throbbing from all of this. Please Kel, just come s
it here by me.” She wiped uselessly at the tears running down her cheeks and sniffed. “I can’t take any more of this today.”
Somewhat awkwardly, Kellie arranged her cumbersome body next to her big sister, and then hit the nurse’s button to ask if they could bring something for Cat’s headache.
Within a few minutes, a nurse brought pain medication, and ten minutes after that, Cat fell into a deep, blissful sleep, praying she’d wake free from her nightmare.
Cat woke gradually to soft light and quiet movements in the room. She raised her head slowly, thankful for the absence of pain. Peering through the narrow slit of one eyelid, she scanned the room. Kellie moved awkwardly from the table holding her purse, to her room’s single sink.
“What time is it?” she croaked, still groggy from her medication.
“It’s four a.m. You slept for nearly ten hours straight,” Kellie whispered. “Do you feel any better?”
Cat passed her hand over her forehead. “Much better. But you must be miserable.”
Kellie met her at the bed and reached for her hand. “Of course I am, but that’s the thing about being in the last stages of pregnancy. I can be miserable just the same in any location. There is no comfortable position in which to sit, stand, or sleep. So don’t go feeling guilty on my account.”
Cat couldn’t help but smile at her sister’s sharp wit and outlook. She patted the firmness of Kellie’s baby belly. “Do we know what you’re having?”
“Yes we do. A little girl, and her name is Diana Therese, after our two great-grandmothers.”
“Nice choice. I like that.”
“You should, it was your idea.”
Cat frowned. “Was it?”
“Yep, but don’t sweat that you can’t remember. The doctor said it could take up to a month for your memory to return in full.”
“A whole month.”
“Or as little as a day or two so don’t look so depressed.”
Maybe it was the result of a restful, painless sleep, but Cat nodded, deciding it would do her no good to panic. “You stayed with me all night in this bed?”
Kellie snorted. “Honey, at this stage I can’t stay anywhere that long. I’ve been up and down to the bathroom all night, walking to ease the pains, out in the hall talking to the nurses and any doctor on call.”
“I feel bad, sis. You should be home, in the comfort of your own bed.”
“Have you not been listening? I’m not comfortable anywhere and I won’t be until I deliver this little bundle of joy. I’m delivering here, by the way, so it’s actually a plus being here. The nurses have been monitoring the contractions.”
“Still Braxton-Hicks, right?”
“As far as they can tell.” A comfortable silence engulfed them for several seconds.
Cat tried to adjust her pillow. “You think they’d let me get up and walk around a little? My back and neck are killing me in this bed.”
“Hm, I’m not sure about the walking, but maybe they’d let me take you for a spin in a wheelchair. I’ll go ask.”
“I’m not going to have my pregnant, contracting sister push me. You could hurt yourself.”
“Then I’ll find someone else to push you.”
At the time, Cat didn’t think much of the offer. Later, she’d remember the gleam in Kellie’s eyes when she left the room, and realized she should have suspected something. As it was, the pain meds had her a little off her game.
She turned at the knock, expecting to see a nurse, but instead, Zach stood behind a wheelchair.
“Your chariot awaits, M’lady.” He waved a hand over the chair with a flourish. “I’d have confiscated the King Ranch edition, accessorized with saddle leather and chrome, but it was taken. The oil baron three rooms down called dibs, and he paid for the entire east wing…sooo.” He finished with a shrug.
She smiled, despite trying to stay serious. “That’ll do, and why aren’t you home sleeping? You got your orders from Kellie. I heard her.”
“There’s only one woman I’m willing to take orders from, and it ain’t Kellie, sweetheart.” He parked the chair next to the bed and stood next to her. “We have to wait for the nurse to come and transfer all these tubes and things before we can take off. Until then, I can rid you of some of that neck and shoulder pain you’re having.” He placed his hands on her neck and began a firm, kneading motion.
“That’s not ne-cess-sar-rryyy. Oh God, that feels good.” She knew her eyes had to be rolling back in her head but she couldn’t stop herself. “Jeeze, Zac-attack. You should put a patent on those moves.”
The room filled with his low chuckle. “Yeah, I’ve been advised of that before.”
“Oh yeah? Anyone I know?”
“You tell me that every time I give you my special neck and shoulder massage.”
“I do?”
“Yep, and I always say the same thing. Do you remember what that is?”
She tried to open her eyes but couldn’t quite manage it. “Mmm…don’t think so.”
He leaned over and kissed her on the neck. “It only gets used on you, babe.”
Zach continued to massage her neck in silence as she fought an onslaught of chill bumps from the intimate, though unexpectedly pleasant, kiss to her neck. That was definitely something a man would be comfortable doing to his fiancé. Soon, all she could think about was the last man she remembered who had kissed her that intimately. It wasn’t Zach.
“I’m good, thanks.” She pulled forward, trying to get away from Zach’s touch, once again feeling as though she was cheating on Chris.
The nurse entered, extended the IV pole on the chair and transferred the bags over, before helping Cat into the chair. “There you go, you’re mobile.”
Zach grabbed hold of the handles. “All right, ready to burn some rubber, Cat?”
“Slowly please,” the nurse said, holding the door open.
“Spoil sport,” he grumbled, pushing his patient through the door. “Where do you want to go? I know there’s an atrium in this hospital but I’m not sure if it’s lit up at night.”
“I think it is. It seems like I remember coming here with mom to visit a friend of hers. Let’s check it out.”
“Yes ma’am.” Zach headed toward the double doors leading out of the wing. “Speaking of remembering things, anything new pop into that beautiful head of yours?”
Cat found herself feeling uncomfortable at his flattery, especially when it included some not so subtle interrogation.
“Nope, nothing new.”
He pushed on in silence.
She thought of a detail that had been nagging at her just as she’d fallen asleep earlier. “Where had we gone, Zach?”
“Excuse me?”
“Saturday night. You said we’d run an errand or something. Were we on our way to or coming back from, and where did we go?”
“Um…We were on our way home.”
“From what?”
He pushed through the atrium doors and parked her chair near the fountain. “How’s this?”
“It’s fine, thanks.” The gentle trickle of water falling in layers soothed her ragged nerves, nearly making her forget her line of questioning. “You said we were we on our way home. Where had we been?”
He took his sweet time answering, in itself a bad sign. Anytime Zach Ferguson had to think about what to say, there was a good chance he was about to feed her a line of bull.
“You needed—”
She raised one hand to silence him. “Don’t bother. I don’t want to feel responsible for making you lie to me.”
“Hey! I don’t lie. Ever.”
“Excuse me, I don’t want to force you into telling one of your infamous “Zach-splanations”. You know, one of those half-truths, where you omit the most important part of the story.”
Zach had the nerve to act insulted at first, until his eyes lit up.
“That’s a new memory, Cat. It’s coming back, whether you realize it or not.”
She narrowed
her eyes at him. “What’s a new memory?”
“You didn’t come up with that “Zach-splanation” term until a couple of months ago.”
She sent him a half-smile. “Sorry sweetie, but I’ve been saying that since high-school, just never to your face.” She couldn’t help but laugh at his expression of complete indignation.
“That’s low. What else have you been saying behind my back all these years?”
Cat frowned at him. “Don’t even think of acting all outraged, especially when it wouldn’t have been necessary if you’d simply told the truth—the entire truth. By the way, this little sleight of hand diversion won’t work on me. I know all your tricks, Zachary, and this is just a ploy to distract me. If you’d rather not answer, just say so.”
“Okay.” He sighed, sounding resigned. “You needed something, and we got it.”
“What did I need?”
“I’d rather not answer.”
“Dammit!” She slapped both hands on the chair’s armrests.
He leaned over to place his hands atop hers and grinned at her. “When I think you’re ready to know, I’ll tell you. Right now, it would only complicate matters. I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way.”
“You’re no help. Now I really want to know.”
He straightened to his full height. “Has anyone spoken to you about going home?”
“No, but I may have been sleeping when the doctor made his rounds.”
“You were. He said you can go home this afternoon, if no complications arise.”
“Home? Home where?” Her gut tightened with a sudden sense of not belonging anywhere.
“Well, if you don’t want to go to your own home, you could go to your mom’s, or Kellie’s.” He sat on the stone bench beside her wheelchair and stretched out one long, booted leg. “Or, you could come to my place, being that three-quarters of your stuff is there already.”
“It is?” She must have looked at him as though he were a stranger.
“Sure. We’ve been gradually culling and combining household items for weeks to refurnish the house. I mean you were going to move in soon.”
She took a deep breath to process even more information. “I hadn’t thought of that, but it makes sense.” Cat risked a look in his direction. “It sounds like something I’d do. I mean I was thinking about doing that with Chr…” She stopped cold, remembering Zach’s plea from earlier. “I’m sorry, Zack. I just…I still…” The vision of him blurred as tears filled her eyes.