What hurt most of all, though, was the way that Carissa had looked at him before she’d gone into the house. The way she’d been unable to conceal her anger and fear, and the way that she seemed incapable of separating Perry from his aggressive father. He hated the way she’d told him to go home, the way she refused to let him comfort her.
After showering and drinking two cups of black coffee to wake himself up, Perry dressed for work. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to go into the office without talking things out with Carissa and proving to her that he and Anthony were two entirely different people. So he drove out to her house, cringing at the charred remains of the front lawn.
Iris answered the door. “She doesn’t want to see you. None of us really do, actually. It might be best if our respective families had some time apart.”
He winced at her candor. “Please, just let me talk to Carissa. Let me make things right with her.”
“I don’t think you can.”
“Just let me try.”
“Fine, but you’re wasting your time and your breath.” Iris disappeared back into the house.
Perry waited, the hot summer sun causing perspiration marks to dot his collar. Finally, he heard voices.
“Just give him a chance.”
“Why are you advocating for him? You’re just as angry as I am.”
“He loves you. At least let him speak his mind, even if you’ve already made up yours. I’ll go with you if you want.”
“No, I’m okay. I’ll be right back. This shouldn’t take long at all.”
Carissa finally appeared in the doorway, looking exhausted. “What on earth do you want?”
“How are you?”
“Not doing so great, actually. So make it quick so I can go back to bed.”
“I want to apologize on behalf of my family. I also want you to know that I believe you, and that I’m furious with him for putting you and your family in danger. It’s going to take me a long time to forgive him, and I understand if you never do. He’s my father, but you’re the priority in my life right now. I love you.”
“Maybe you should try to stop, then.”
“Stop what? Loving you?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t understand.”
Carissa burst into tears. “Y–you might love me, b–b–but I can’t be a member of a family that hates me.”
“I don’t hate you.”
“You don’t, but your parents definitely do. Especially now that I’ve put one of them in jail. If we were to get married, there’s no way that any family gatherings would ever be happy occasions.”
“That’s not your problem. If they have issues, they need to deal with them. Like mature adults, that is. I won’t let them ever get away with arson again.”
“It’s not just my fear of them that’s the problem, though. Who’s to say that in five or ten years, you won’t come to resent me for it?”
“I won’t resent you. He did something wrong. He has to pay the price.”
“I’m just not sure you’ll always feel this way. I’m sorry, Perry. I love you, too. It’s just not going to work out between us. I just can’t become part of a family that doesn’t want me.”
“What about what I want? They might not want you, but I do. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“Perry, you couldn’t even protect me from them while I was supposedly safe in your arms. If you couldn’t keep me safe last night, there’s no way you’d be able to keep me safe for the rest of our lives. I just can’t do this. I’m not going to put myself in a position where I’m living in fear. You’re wonderful, but you’re just not worth it.”
Carissa wiped the tears from her face and closed the door without giving Perry a chance to respond.
Perry walked to his car in shock and turned on the ignition without thinking. He was halfway to his office before the realization of what Carissa said finally hit him. He swerved and pulled into a parking lot, and then pulled out his phone and called Del.
“She broke up with me,” he said as soon as Del picked up.
“What?”
“She told me that she didn’t want to be a part of a family that didn’t want her. She doesn’t care that I want her, that I stand by her, that I think what my father did is wrong. She still has decided that she doesn’t want anything to do with me. So that’s it. She and I are over. It’s done before it ever really had the chance to begin.”
“Where are you? Do you need me to come get you?”
“I’m in a gas station parking lot. I’m fine. Just shocked.”
“Okay, dude, you’ve had a rough night and an even worse morning. Take a personal day from work, go home, and get some sleep.”
“I have so much to do at work.”
“You also need to take care of yourself. When was the last time you played hooky? I don’t think you even cut class in high school.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Well, it’s time you cut loose and took a day off. So go call in and get some rest. I’ll talk to Carissa and get this all straightened out.”
“I don’t want to get you involved. This is my problem.”
“It’s not just your problem. Carissa is involved with both of us. She loves both of us. What happens between the two of you affects things with me. That’s just the way it goes. So if something’s up, there’s a good reason for me to talk to Carissa about it.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Now go, okay? I’ll come by sometime this afternoon once I’ve talked to Carissa and figured out what’s going on.”
“Okay, man. Thank you.”
“No problem.”
* * * *
Del decided to wait until after lunch to talk to Carissa. He figured she could use the extra sleep, and that breaking things off with Perry a few hours before had been stressful enough. He wanted to give her some time to decompress before he butted in.
After grabbing a burger from the diner, Del drove out to the Holt-Parker ranch, taking the scenic route. He couldn’t deny that he was nervous. Normally he was confident about every interaction he had with women. He was never rejected, and whenever things inevitably fizzled out, there was always someone else right around the corner. Carissa was special, though. Not only was she special, but this was the first time in his life that he’d ever considered a woman to really matter to him. He had to admit that he wasn’t sure what was going to happen with Carissa that afternoon. For once, he doubted whether or not he could use his charms on Carissa to convince him to take Perry back. He didn’t know if he could smooth things over. He didn’t know what would happen if Carissa made him choose between her and his best friend.
Del was so nervous that he was almost shaking as he approached Carissa’s door. He didn’t even ring the bell right away. Finally, though, he worked up his courage, if only because he didn’t want anyone in the family to discover him just standing there, looking like a fool.
Iris answered the door. “Yes?”
Del decided this wasn’t the day to try and fool around or flirt. “Is Carissa home? Is she willing to speak with me?”
“I don’t know. I suppose Perry called you about what she said to him this morning.”
“Yeah, he did.”
“She’s not going to change her mind, you know.”
“I’m prepared to accept that possibility. Can I talk to her anyway?”
“Hold on.”
Carissa walked to the door a minute later, a somber expression on her face. “Del, I’m glad to see you. Thank you for stopping by.”
“Do you want to take a walk?”
“Sure.”
Del reached for her hand, but she didn’t reach back. He didn’t acknowledge her resistance, and tried not to think about it as they walked down the driveway. He tried not to notice the tears silently streaming down her face, either. Everything will be fine, he thought. Everything will be fine.
“So how are you doing?” he asked, hoping to get her to open up r
ight away.
“Not so good, honestly.” She sniffled, and the tears started flowing faster.
“I’m not surprised, after everything you went through last night.” Everything will be fine. He repeated the words over and over in his brain like a mantra.
“Did Perry send you here?”
“No, I came over out of my own volition after he talked to me. He didn’t want me to get involved. But since what happens between you and him affects what happens between you and me, I realized I didn’t have a good reason not to get involved.”
“So you’re here to beg me to take him back.”
“Am I that transparent?”
“Yes, but it’s not going to work.”
“That’s what Iris said.”
“Listen, Del. I’ve been thinking all morning. I can’t take Perry back. I’m not going to put myself in an uncomfortable family situation like that. The thing is, if I can’t have Perry, well, I don’t want you, either.”
“You can have Perry, though. Just call him and tell him you’ve changed your mind, and he’ll be yours in a heartbeat.”
“You’re not listening. I can’t have Perry because, if I married the two of you, I’d be a part of his family, and I’m just not going to put myself through torture. Perry is out of the question from now on. To make things even more complicated, you complement each other. Something would always be missing if I tried to continue a relationship with you that Perry wasn’t a part of, too. I can’t be with you if I can’t bring myself to be with him. I’m really sorry, Del, but it’s over between us.”
“No, Carissa, please, just give us another chance.”
“I’m sorry, Del. That’s just not possible.” Carissa turned and started walking back towards her house. Del sensed that she didn’t want him to walk back with her so he waited there, letting her words sink in, until she was back inside. Only then did he get in his car. He drove immediately to Perry’s place and let himself in with the spare key.
Perry was lying on the couch, still in his work clothes, looking dejected.
“Make some room for me, man,” Del said. Perry shifted, and Del flopped down next to him.
“Talk didn’t go well, I take it.”
“Nope.”
“She won’t take me back, then.”
“Not only will she not take you back, but she called it quits with me as well.”
Perry looked up. “Are you serious?”
“Why on earth would I lie about something so shitty?”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, man.”
“So am I.”
“So what do we do now?”
“Wallow, I guess. Figure out the rest tomorrow.”
“Sounds like a plan. Want a beer to help?”
“Definitely.”
Perry came back from the kitchen with his lower lip trembling.
“How are we going to live without her?” A tear slid down his cheek.
“I have no idea.” At the sight of his always-stoic friend overcome with emotion, Del let a few tears slip out, too.
“I’m going to get her back.”
“What if she doesn’t want to come back?”
“I don’t know, but we have to try.”
“Maybe we should just let her go.”
“Of course you’d say that,” Perry snapped. “You’ve never tried to keep a woman around ever in your life. That’s your whole philosophy. Screw them, and then let them go.”
Del clenched his fists together, trying to restrain himself from punching his best friend. He knew that Perry was grieving, and that he was being irrational as a result. “You know that’s not true, Perry.”
“You’ve never kept a woman around for more than a month.”
“Damn it, stop. You heard me tell Carissa yesterday that I loved her. You were standing right there. The three of us were discussing marriage, and we’ve only known her a week! We both know that falling so hard so fast for a woman is completely irrational, but it’s what happened. Carissa is so special that she transformed me overnight. I went from being a playboy goofball to a guy willing to consider marriage. This is the first time I’ve ever felt like this before, and I know it’s the real deal. So don’t try to claim that I’m ready to let her go and move on.”
“Then why won’t you fight for her?”
“Do you want a restraining order taken out against us, too?”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Really?”
“Of course. I’ve never loved someone so much before.”
“Then I guess it’s a risk I’m willing to take, too.”
They clinked their beer glasses in a hopeful toast.
Chapter 9
Carissa was despondent. The revelation of the culprit hadn’t made her feel any better. Nor had going to the courthouse and filing a restraining order. Even knowing that he couldn’t touch her again, Carissa couldn’t help but feel sad at the way everything seemed to be falling apart. She would almost have preferred to have been stalked, ignorant of the culprit’s identity, than know who it was and have that cause the demise of her relationship.
Even going to the auto shop to pick up her car didn’t make her feel better. Iris was chatty on the ride over, but her bubbly nature couldn’t fix the situation. When Ike handed Carissa her keys and sent her on her way, it was just a painful reminder of Del’s generosity and of what had almost happened between the three of them. She couldn’t be with just Del, though. Part of what attracted her to him was the way he complemented Perry. She couldn’t love one without being able to love the other.
“Do you want to go get some lunch or something?” Iris asked.
“No, thanks. I’m not very hungry.”
“Come on, cheer up.”
“I had to break up with my boyfriend because I don’t want to be a part of his psychotic family. As a result, I had to break up with my other boyfriend, because having one without the other just isn’t possible for me. You try being cheerful in my situation.”
“I guess you’re right. I’m sorry. Are you sure you don’t want some lunch? A nice meal might do you good.”
“Thanks, but I think I’d rather go off alone for a few hours. Especially since I now have the freedom to do so.”
Iris smiled. “Good idea. See you at home for dinner, then?”
“Definitely.”
Carissa drove around aimlessly for a little while, not sure where she wanted to go. Finally, she decided to get a latte at a coffee shop and spend some time working on her thesis. Making progress on her work would distract her from the pain she was feeling.
Maybe I should have just gone home, Carissa thought as she opened the doors and saw all of the patrons staring at her. Nobody seems especially happy to see me. She didn’t want to be ruled by fear, though, so she went to the counter, ordered a latte, and settled herself down with her laptop. She figured that if she could throw herself into work, she would finally stop brooding, even if the nature of her thesis was bound to remind her of the time she spent with Perry and Del.
Sipping away at her coffee and focusing on creating the outline for her paper, Carissa managed to work for two solid hours before the need to pee pulled her out of her trance. She didn’t want to lose her table, but glancing around the shop, she realized that she didn’t trust anyone to not steal or break her laptop if she left it sitting out, even for a few minutes. So she gathered up her belongings and headed for the restroom. As she opened the bathroom door, she had the unsettling feeling that she was being watched, but tried to shake it off. Of course people are staring. You had an established member of the community arrested, and you took a restraining order out on him. That’s unfortunately going to raise some eyebrows, whether you like it or not.
After finishing up in the bathroom, Carissa hurried out, hoping that her table was still available. But she didn’t even manage to get that far. All of a sudden, she found herself pressed against the door, a knife to her throat, staring Mark right in t
he eyes. She couldn’t even draw a breath. The slightest movement might have caused a deep, fatal gash.
“Nice to see you again, Carissa,” Mark said with a sneer. “Or not, actually. I can’t say that I’m especially happy to be in your presence right now. You did ruin my life, after all. Fortunately, I’m learning to find joy in life again. For example, I do look forward to what I’m going to do to you as revenge. Now I want you to listen to me. I have this knife, and I also have a gun. I can take you and any number of people in this coffee shop down. So you’re going to do exactly what I say. Head out the back exit as though everything is normal. If you try to scream, cry, or get help, I will shoot you, and then I’ll probably lose control and shoot a couple of customers, too. Hard to tell with my temper these days.”
He slowly drew the knife away from her neck and tucked it into his jacket pocket. Reaching into his other pocket, he pulled his gun out halfway, to prove to Carissa that it was there.
As she started walking, Carissa debated trying to cut and run. She wasn’t sure of her ability to dodge a bullet in her state of anxiety, and she didn’t want to test whether or not his threat to hurt the innocent people in the restaurant was true. Her legs were shaking so fiercely that she thought she was going to collapse, but she knew that drawing attention to herself would only increase Mark’s ire. By sheer force of will, she navigated her way out of the coffee shop.
Once they were outside, Mark grabbed her by the elbow and navigated her over towards a beat-up blue sedan. Carissa’s heart sank when she realized that this was the exact vehicle she had seen following her around Male Order for the past week.
Mark unlocked the doors. “Get in.”
Carissa stood still and refused to speak. The parking lot was empty. There weren’t any innocent people to target with his rage. She wasn’t giving in.
“I said, get in the goddamn car.”
“No.”
Jordan, Olivia - A Bride for Two Studs [Male Order, Texas] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 10