My head whips back her way and my brow furrows. “What makes you say that?”
“Could you not see it on his face? Hear it in the way he talks to you? You walk on water for him and he’d cross fire for you.”
I just blink at her.
“You don’t see that?” she presses.
“I don’t know,” I admit miserably. “I feel something but I don’t know what it is. I think it’s only me sometimes, but then you say something like that and I think you might be right. There’s something really amazing there between us.”
“My advice is don’t wait for it,” she says with an emphatic nod. “Life is too short.”
“Life is too short,” I repeat.
“You should go for it,” she pushes at me.
“Just go for it?” I echo back to her.
“Go for it,” Carrie repeats. “What do you have to lose?”
A broken heart and a crushed spirit most likely.
But Kynan is probably worth risking those things.
Chapter 11
Kynan
I’d thought I’d seen Joslyn performing at her peak in Vegas. Her act is so entertaining you get lost in it. Her voice so beautiful time stands still. And when it’s all over and done with, you want to push her back out there and tell her, “Do it again.” Because I could watch her 24/7 on that stage and never get tired of it.
But now I realize that she wasn’t even close to unleashing her potential. If any talent agent were watching her now, there’d be a mad stampede to get her signed.
I can only assume it’s being back in her hometown and singing for her father’s memory that is making the difference. The passion she’s putting into her music tonight is transcendental. She doesn’t have the fancy stage lighting, sparkling costumes, and high energy backup dancers behind her.
No, she’s just in her jeans, a flowing taupe-colored blouse that bares one shoulder, and simple, flat sandals. She did her hair in loose braids hanging over each shoulder with wisps framing her face. Her makeup is simple and understated.
She’s just Joslyn, yet a completely different one than I’ve ever seen before.
Tonight, she is simply magical, and years from now I might look back on this moment and say it was when I fell helplessly for her.
She’s on her final song. It’s one she sings in her Vegas act. The one on the stool with the lone spotlight on her. But tonight she just stands in front of the microphone, both hands clutching it hard and her lips moving fluidly as she sings about love and heartache and redemption.
I force myself to look around. The crowd is gently swaying to the tune, many singing along with her. Her best friend Carrie is in front, beaming up at her. Several times Joslyn has looked down at her during her performance and smiled back. It was nice to see Joslyn just have time with a friend today. She never gets to do enough fun things for herself. She’s always working or rehearsing, and her evenings are spent talking to me, which can’t be all that exciting.
Right?
I try not to think of that fucking kiss. The one that almost drove me to my knees and then later drove me to one of the hardest orgasms I’d ever had while I was in the shower jacking myself off. I felt simultaneously dirty to be doing it and accomplished. I’ve never been attracted to someone like this. I’ve never wanted to just lose myself in another person before, and I feel sometimes I could gladly give up my existence to just immerse myself in hers.
It’s both exciting and terrifying at the same time, but ultimately it’s moot. She’s a client, not a romantic interest.
Joslyn’s song comes to an end and before the last notes of the backup band’s music fade away, she pulls the mic closer to her mouth and waves to the crowd. “Thank you, Cunningham Falls, for all your support to raise money for cancer research today. I’ve missed this place so much, and it’s been great to be back. I love you.”
The crowd cheers and people clap while calling out for an encore. Lighters flare to life and smartphones are held up to shine light. It’s not something she can indulge in Vegas. When the show is over, it’s over.
But here she’s the final act of the night.
There are no rules.
She looks out over the crowd, her bottom lip quivering ever so slightly with emotion. She turns her head and looks at me. I smile and nod to her, telling her she needs to give them more.
She grins back at me and I’m simply dazzled. We stare at each other a moment before Joslyn turns to walk back to the band. The lead guitarist leans in toward her, she says something to him, and he turns to relay the message to the other musicians.
Joslyn takes the mic again, the music strikes up, and she gives the crowd more.
* * * *
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay out tonight?” I ask Joslyn as we ride back to the resort in the rented SUV. Jayce stayed back for the evening carnival and because I think he hooked up with someone last night and intended to do the same again tonight.
Fine by me. He’s off duty and while absolutely nothing would ever happen, I like having Joslyn to myself.
“No,” she says quietly as she leans back in the passenger seat. “I’m done for the night.”
She sounds tired, which she often is after a performance. Still, I thought she’d want to hang with Carrie for a bit. Instead, after she finished her last double encore song, she came off the stage and just rested a hand lightly on my forearm. “I’m going to go say goodbye to Carrie, then I’ll be ready to call it a night.”
Her voice was huskier than normal but she sang way longer than she normally does. Her eyes looked fatigued but her body still seemed to have bounce in her step.
It worries me, so I ask her one more time. “You sure? Last night in Cunningham Falls. I could take you back down to the beach. They’re serving huckleberry ice cream.”
Her head rolls to the left and she gives me a smile that I can read nothing into. “I’m sure.”
With a sigh, I push the gas pedal down to start the climb up Whitetail Mountain and the ski resort at the top.
Joslyn is silent for the ride and it’s throwing me off a bit because she’s such a chatterbox normally. I know she’s riding a bit of an adrenaline high because I’m betting that was the most fun she’s ever had performing.
Is she upset about me pulling out of the kiss last night? Does she know it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with my job? That I’d cut off my right nut if Jerico would tell me it would be fine to guard her and have her at the same time?
More silence as I park. We cross the parking lot to the lobby and ascend to the room in the elevator. I watch her carefully and she doesn’t seem upset. She catches me watching her and gives me back a fond smile.
And that’s confusing.
Maybe she’s moved on. Maybe when I told her that we couldn’t be together, she took me at face value and she’s already let it go.
Let me go.
“Joslyn,” I say as we reach the room, turning to block the door. “Are you okay?”
She blinks at me in surprise, noting the worry in my voice. “Of course I am. Why do you ask?”
“I just thought you’d want to stay out, this being your last night in Cunningham Falls, and you’ve been awful quiet since we left the venue.”
Again, she smiles and shakes her head. “That performance was just... so amazing, I kind of just want to revel in that. I don’t want to lose this feeling.”
I’m immediately relieved and I feel my body loosen. A sense of joy sweeps through me that she got as much out of that performance as I did. That it was just as magical to her as it was to me.
Joslyn tilts her head quizzically as she stares at me. “You felt it too, didn’t you?”
“The magic?” I ask her, then clarify. “Your magic.”
“There’s only been one other time I can think of that I was so in tune with my feelings,” she murmurs, her eyes taking on a dreamy quality.
And it hits me like a nuclear warhead slamming into my ch
est.
I know exactly what she’s talking about when she says she’s only felt this amazing, mystical, magical quality once before.
It was our kiss last night.
“Joslyn,” I whisper, my hands clenching into fists so I don’t grab her to me.
“Did you feel it too?” she asks me in a low voice. “Last night?”
“Down to the marrow of my fucking bones,” I growl at her. “You know that, right? That I felt as much of it as you did and it was the hardest fucking thing to pull away from you.”
Her expression turns sad and she nods. “Yeah... I know.”
I merely stare at her. I’m barking mad over her and I don’t know what to do. I want to beg her to disregard all of my concerns over us being together. I want her to tell me it’s stupid and that we can make it work.
Or not quite what I want but at least more appropriate, I want her to be the adult and tell me that I’m doing the right thing by leaving her alone. It would ease my conscience for sure.
Instead, her gaze lowers and she turns to the door while pulling the card key from her purse. I feel like I’ve killed her good mood because I know mine sure as hell is gone.
The door unlocks and I feel I’m moments away from losing her. I can’t explain this irrational feeling but I know it to be true.
There’s no explaining my actions other than I let my heart have control and it tells my brain to shut the fuck up. I grab her arm and turn her around toward me. I get a brief moment to see her eyes flare with surprise before I have my hands on her face and my mouth on hers.
She moans in surprise and pleasure, the sound all at once driving away any last bit of rationality I had. Coming off a night listening to the best that Joslyn has to offer to the world, knowing that it was a transcendental experience as was the kiss I gave her, I choose to no longer listen to my conscience and instead take what deep in my heart I know to be all mine.
I press her slight frame into the door and find her tongue with mine. She moans again, but it’s drowned out by my groan of relief at having her mouth. The shared lust between us is palpable and it causes my cock to go hard as a rock. One more moan from her when her hips lift to meet mine and she feels the thick ridge of my shaft.
I about lose my shit when she drops a hand down and cups me so softly, I can barely feel her. But my balls tingle and I pray to fucking God I don’t come just from that slight touch.
Even with that embarrassment at risk, I dare not remove my lips from hers. I deepen the kiss as I drop my hand. It goes to the apex of her legs. To her secret spot and she parts for me. I press my palm to her, feel the warmth through her jeans, and my mouth waters wondering just how magical she’ll taste.
Joslyn bucks from the contact and I use the opportunity to slip the keycard from her hand. I somehow find the slot, get the door open, and push her inside. I do all of this while kissing the everloving fuck out of her, and I don’t stop because to do so would be akin to dying.
I bend, easily lift her to my body, and almost shout into her mouth with joy when she wraps her legs tightly around me.
She presses her hands to my cheeks and pulls away from the kiss just enough that she can murmur into my mouth. “You better not stop, Kynan,” she warns me.
It’s adorable.
I answer her by walking into the master bedroom and tossing her down on the bed. I kick the door closed and reach back to lock it. Then I pull my shirt slowly over my head and let it drop to the floor.
She watches me with eyes of dark denim, or maybe it’s her pupils that have shadowed her look. I smile at her. “I’m not stopping. Ever.”
Joslyn raises a hand, beckoning me to the bed.
Not ever stopping.
Chapter 12
Joslyn
It’s happening.
It. Is. Happening.
My mouth goes dry as Kynan slowly peels his black Jameson shirt over his head. His abs contract, forming a washboard, and I get mesmerized by a dragon tattoo rippling up his ribs and across part of his chest.
He’s simply too beautiful for words, and one day I need to sit down and write a song about that type of beauty. The kind that makes you mindless with need, to where you think you might die if you have to wait another single moment for it to touch you.
Kynan discards the shirt and walks to the bed. I’m sitting near the edge where he dropped me but it’s apparently not what he wants. He merely lifts me up easily under my armpits, puts a knee to the bed, and then pushes me down with his big body coming on top of me.
He kisses me again, ever so slowly, and I can tell he’s not in a rush.
This.
Our first time together.
It’s further proven when his hands oh so slowly wander over my body but going no further than feathering across the top of my clothing. The faintest touch to my breast or a light drag of his knuckles between my legs. I am drowning in need and I feel like I want to cry.
“Please,” I moan as his lips move from my mouth to the side of my neck.
“What do you want, Jos?” he asks in a husky voice.
“You,” I pant as he bites the skin where my neck meets my shoulder.
Kynan lifts his head and smiles down at me. “I’ll give you anything you want.”
“I want you to make love to me,” I beg him, because he’s already driven me crazy with his soft, slow touches.
“I will,” he murmurs. “First with my mouth, then with my cock.”
A shudder rips up my spine and my eyes flutter closed at the thought of it. I’ve never... done that. I’ve had sex, and it wasn’t good, but never had a man’s mouth...
I go instantly wet and start to squirm. Kynan takes pity on me and helps me out of my clothing, all the while stealing kisses in between. When my breasts are bared to him, he sucks hard on one of my nipples and an ache starts deep in my core.
After he gets me naked, Kynan pushes off the bed and quickly divests himself of his clothing. His underwear are the last to come off and I can’t help but stare at the most magnificent part of his body sticking up tall, thick, and straight with desire for me.
I ogle him and want badly to take him in my hand... my mouth. Any way I can touch him there to give him pleasure.
I even start to reach out to him, but he gives me a chastising shake of his head. My brains practically scramble from the heat he causes when he drops to the floor on his knees and pulls me roughly by the legs to the edge of the mattress. He spreads me wide and I flush with embarrassment as he stares at my most private parts, and it’s with reverence as well as hunger.
Then he puts his mouth on me and it’s a pleasure that I didn’t know existed. No matter how many times I’ve touched myself in the very exact spot he has his tongue, I could never be prepared for this onslaught of feelings. The deep intimacy that we’re sharing right now causes tears to well in my eyes, and when Kynan groans in approval—no, gratitude—over what he’s tasting, I know I’ll never feel for another man the way I feel for him.
He licks at me gently, and then sucks. He presses fingers into me and lashes his tongue harder. My head spins and my core aches, and then I’m exploding so hard that my hips shoot off the mattress. Kynan presses me back down, moving his face so lewdly between my legs that another harsh ripple of pleasure pulls me apart. I cry his name out and he gives another satisfied grunt as he continues to kiss between my legs.
I feel coolness there, so I open my eyes. I see the ceiling then I lift my head to find Kynan pulling a condom out of his wallet. He’s practiced and efficient with getting it out and rolling it on.
He’s walking toward me, his big hand wrapped around his shaft, and I scramble backward toward the headboard. Kynan grins as he places a knee to the bed before climbing his way up me. The last thing I see before spreading my legs and accepting his mouth on mine is his warm brown eyes watching me like I’m the most cherished thing in the world.
He kisses me and I taste myself on his tongue. Kynan shifts and I feel him pressin
g against me. Shifting again, then into me. I stretch, focusing on the kiss instead of the slight bite of pain because he’s a bit bigger than what I experienced before.
He pulls his hips back, never taking his lips from mine. A slight thrust and he’s a bit deeper. He does this over and over again, working himself into me as if we have all the time in the world. My body was sated for several moments from my orgasm, but when he manages to press his entire length into me, I feel the churn of lust starting to build again.
Kynan lifts his head and looks down at me. “You okay?”
“Never better,” I whisper with a smile.
He gives me one back and it’s so beautiful. I expect him to kiss me again, but he doesn’t. He just moves his face a little closer to mine and stares right into my eyes. I feel him withdraw, hate losing the fullness of our connection, but before I can complain he’s thrusting back in again.
“Oh,” I grunt as he fills me up so deeply my eyes roll in the back of my head.
“You are the best thing I’ve ever felt in my life, Joslyn,” he tells me in a voice so earnest while he never lets his eyes leave my face, that I know he’s telling me the truth. His forehead drops until it touches mine and he whispers, “So fucking good.”
Kynan moves inside of me. Our hands end up clasped so tightly together my fingers ache. His thrusts become deeper, delivered with a powerful punch. Every one feels better and better.
Another orgasm starts to brew. I concentrate on the feel of him and how his pelvis manages to rub at my most sensitive spot with each drive of himself into me.
He makes love to me so beautifully that I know my life won’t be the same after.
We move together, undulating and writhing. He whispers to me how beautiful I am, and even tells me he’s never tasted anything better. I flush with heat and then he drives up into me hard. I start to break apart, and my hands move to clutch frantically to his shoulders. I press my legs tight to his hips and I share with him what is happening.
“I’m coming again.” I murmur my surprise as well as my relief. I need this. My body needed to be released as he built me up.
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