by Lee Miller
Sara kept her eyes on her attacker even though she was also seeing spots, it wouldn’t take much to finish her off, but instead he made a run for it to the stairs, gasping for air, she made her way to her feet and gave chase, she had him in arms reach when he grabbed the banister and pulled himself sharp left and up the first flight, Sara’s lost traction and slid into the wall, bouncing off of it, she regained her footing and shot up the stairs in time to see Tommy lifting the window in the master bedroom that lead to the fire escape, she ran and grabbed him around the neck and flipped him onto his face. She landed on top of him without releasing her hold. The more tommy struggled, the tighter she cinched it in, hoping to break his wind pipe or at the very least render him unconscious so she could tie him up and wait for the police to arrive. The sirens in the distance seemed to give new fuel to the guy she held down, he used the last of his strength to push up and flip over onto his back, pinning Sara down. Panic began to set in, if she didn’t think of something fast, she was surly done for. Sara worked to get herself free as Tommy rolled back over so that he was lying on top of her, she looked into his eyes and what she saw sent a chill up and down her spine, she had seen that look before, in the eyes of Private Jansen when she was seventeen. Sure enough one of Tommy’s hand’s went up what was left of her dress as the other began tearing at the bra area, Sara was overcome with a sense of relief, this she knew how to fight against, since he decided not to kill her outright, she had a chance. “So you wanna play rough huh Sara?” Tommy grunted as he began clawing at the crotch to her stockings, she heard the material begin to rip and knew she had to act quickly. “Get off me you damn coward!” She roared out. She could taste fire and fury on the tip of her tongue. This bastard murdered her husband and now wanted to take everything away from her. She would be damned if she let that happen. A new energy coursed through her. Fueled by the hate she felt for this loathsome piece of filth on top of her. She noticed one of her legs was perfectly positioned and raised it up sharply into her attacker’s groining. She heard him scream in pain and felt him roll off of her. She rolled with him, changing places. Now she was on top of him and thrust a sharp elbow down onto the bridge of his nose. She felt the soft tissue give away and heard the slight crunch of it splattering across his face. She knew the nose had been broken, but he continued to fight on. As she prepared to smash his jaw next, she gazed into his eyes and saw the same level of hate in them that she herself felt for him. Tonight wasn’t going to end with both of them alive.
One second Tommy had a murderous look in his eyes, the next second there was only blackness. He had risen up one of his arms and punched her as hard as he could in the side of the jaw, she heard a slight popping noise. Her jaw was on fire, surely it had been broken. He was still screaming and Sara came back to her sense just in time to catch a second punch come flying in. She raised her arm and caught his and pinned it to the ground. For a second time she went for an elbow smash to the side of his jaw, she was intent on breaking it. He dodged the blow and used her own momentum to flip her off of him, sending her crashing into the wall. She barely noticed that her prey had gotten to his feet and was making a break for it out the open window. Shaking the cobwebs from her head she ran after him, launched herself out the window, and plowed into him just as he had gotten to the railing. The snow and ice on the fire escape made it hard for him to get traction. She sent him flying over the railing as she crashed onto the bottom of the landing outside her window. One of her legs was still in the apartment and the other was bent awkwardly towards her chest. It took a few seconds for her to get her bearings back. She stood up and saw that Tommy was dangling from the top rail, screaming his fool head off. Out of breath, jaw still on fire, every muscle she had beginning to cramp because of the cold and standing in snow in stocking feet, Sara guessed if anyone saw her, they would think she was a lunatic. “You son of a bitch.” She said, in between trying to catch her breath. She looked over the rail and saw that police cars had begun to arrive. “I could let you hang there till the cops make it up here.” Her voice sounding strange even to her. “Nah, I don’t think I will.” She stuck her head back into the window and found a high heel that was sitting nearby. Without uttering another word, she smashed Tommy’s hands. She knew that even though he screamed, the people on the street would never hear it because of the howling wind and raging snowstorm still going on. She smashed it a second time, perversely enjoying hearing his screams of pain. A third hit and she heard the hand shatter. At least 3 bones or so. It fell away. Sara then turned her attention to the remaining hand. “Anything you want me to tell Beth, you sick bastard?” as if it was an afterthought, she added “Or don’t want me to tell her?” She gazed into his eyes one last time. She saw a mixture of fear, pain and a lot of hate.” Before he could respond she smashed his last remaining hand. She kept hitting it, letting rage, hurt, loss and fear wash over her. When that hand too fell away she leaned over the rail to watch him fall. She couldn’t cry. Not for him, not even for Chris. All she felt was numb, like the cold and events of the night worked on her like Novocain. As he fell, Sara knew there would be plenty of tears in the days, weeks and months ahead. This wasn’t the end, only the beginning of something that she would just have to go through to get to the other side. She continued to watch until the body hit the pavement, bounced once, and then landed. She couldn’t hear the voices of the police down below, but she imagined they were surprised as hell. She caste her gaze over the block she lived on. Below, cops, lots of cops. Some running into the building now. To her right, down the street a bit, a single guy standing next to his car. “Had he seen what happen?” she wondered but quickly realized she didn’t really care. All she cared about was getting back to Chris, and finding some Tylenol to help with this raging headache. “Must be from the adrenalin and stress.” she thought absentmindedly.
January
Sara wondered mindlessly back to the front door. She knew she looked a real mess but couldn’t muster the strength to care. The cops would be arriving in a few minutes and everything would change. All she wanted was to hold Chris and never let go. She stumbled down the stairs and looked out the large wall window to the left, the snow was really coming down now. She disliked winter. She viewed the changing of the seasons like the changes of the seasons of life. Spring was birth and childhood; summer was young adult to middle age; fall was middle age to old age; and winter was death. Everything died this time of year. The skies were always so bleak and colorless, the trees took on a pale brown color and were bare, even the grass looked dead. Everything looked dead this time of year. When she was 10 she was diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder. It always began in late fall and lasted till towards the end of winter. In the beginning she would be stricken with a near paralyzing depression that nothing could awaken her from, over the years it became the only constant companion she would have and actually began looking forward to it, embracing it when the end of October came. When Chris entered her life and the years rolled by, the depression was lessened, but never quiet left her entirely. Now that she was facing the rest of her life without him, it came back with a vengeance. It was going to make her pay for all the years of happiness she had. For the second time tonight, Sara felt a heavy burden crush down on her, zapping what strength she had left in her legs.
The smooth floor looked inviting, it beaconed her to come to it. Wobbling on spent legs, Sara fought the growing urge to just lie down and let the darkness over take her. She had things to get done; she had to keep living for Chris, for herself. Sara mustard her remaining strength and looked to her right, towards the darken doorway that was the last place Chris was. The last place he told her he loved her. The place where he now lay motionless in the dark. She began to fumble her way towards him. Stepping cautiously so she wouldn’t slip again and decide to stay down this time. She found were he lay; his eyes still open and motionless. The blood stopped pouring out of the back of his head and was now congealing on the hardwood floor. Other than the crimson
crown that fanned out around his head, he looked as if he was just lying there; the pallor of death had not yet claimed him. Sara fell to her knees and laid her head on his chest. No movement, no sound. Nothing but the remaining warmth his body was putting off. She began to weep. The weight of her despair finally crushing her, taking the last of her strength away. She didn’t care if the police ever made it into the apartment, she didn’t care if she ever made it out; the man responsible for this now laid dead on the pavement 40 some floors down. She thought she saw movement in the dark. A shadow moving across the dark landscape of the night. When she tried to fix her eyes on the spot, nothing was there. She waited and listened; however all she could hear was the rushing of the wind outside, it had taken on a more rhythmic sound. “One, two, three” Sara counted then a pause in the gust; then again, “one, two, three.” From her position on the floor she could stare out the wall of windows and watch the blowing snow. “Why Chris? Why did you leave me?” she questioned out loud. She knew the question was dumb. It wasn’t his choice. No matter how strong someone is, they can’t live with a bullet hole in their head that goes clean through. Still, she questioned him.
Sara didn’t know how long she had lain there; the rhythmic blowing of the wind began to sound like a faint song in her head. It was accompanied by a low, high pitched buzzing sound that she couldn’t quiet place. Then a woodsy knock started keeping time as if it was a bass drum. She drifted in and out of consciousness. “If I don’t move now, I’ll never move. I need to find help.” She thought. Steeling herself for the pain she knew was coming, she slowly pushed herself off Chris’s chest and to her feet. Reality began to set in, she heard banging on the door and frantic voices coming over the intercom. “If anyone is in there, let us in!” came a gruff almost fatherly voice over the intercom. The darkness was shattered by loud thumps on the door from the other side. Sara assumed they were trying to kick the door in. She stumbled the few feet to the doorway and turned the locks. The door flew open the only thing her eyes saw was the silver badge and blue shirt of the police officers. That was all she could take. Darkness fell over her and she began the flight to the floor. She felt strong arms catch her and hoist her up like a child. She knew for now she was safe. Opening her eyes one last time she looked at the face of the arms carrying her. “Night-night Chris.” And she was out.
Sara woke up in a hospital bed, unsure of the events that landed her here. She looked out the window of the room she was in. The snow had stopped for now, but the gray skies continued and it was daytime. “Was it all a dream?” she wondered. The events of that night fading like a bad dream. She was startled to hear a slight cough come from the other side of the room. She looked over to see the familiar face of a police officer. “Sorry to disturb you miss” the officer said. He wore a sheepish smile as if he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His voice was rough and really didn’t match the youthful appearance of his face. “What?” Sara began, trying to find her own voice. “What… happen?” she finally got out. “You don’t remember anything about last night?” the officer inquired, his face betraying the surprise his voice hid. Sara was about to give an apology, but with her head clearing; the memories came rushing back. The weight of them was crushing her again. “Chris.” She let out. “No!” tears welled up in her eyes. “I’m sorry Mrs. Connelly. Truly, very sorry. I knew your husband. He was as good as they came.” the officer offered with a solemn truth. “You are currently under police protection until the culprits are caught.” he offered. “We have several leads going. Hopefully it won’t take long to catch the son of a bitches who did this.” She could detect the restrained anger in his voice. After a few moments, Sara was able to compose herself. She went back to staring out the window at the gray city skyline. Memories from the night before ricocheting around in her head like a pinball on steroids. Her head was pounding. “Do you remember anything that could help us Mrs. Connelly?” the officer’s voice came again, interrupting her thoughts. “Yes. I know exactly who sent the hit man last night. I even know who the hit man was.” Her thoughts turned to Beth. She was going to be devastated. “You do?” the officer replied, surprise dripping from each of his words. “Yes. Tony Diego sent the killer.” she said. “He left it to him to decide which of us he was going to kill. Either would destroy Chris. What Diego didn’t count on was that his hit man hated him as much as Tony himself hated Chris.” Sara’s words were distant even to her ears. She could remember his words very clearly. She could hear the humor loaded with malice in each word he uttered. She looked over to see that the officer, whose nameplate read “D. Koontz”, had recovered from his initial shock and was hurriedly writing everything down. “Anything else Mrs. Connelly?” Officer Koontz asked. “The hit man, his name is Tommy, told us everything. He banked on getting the deed done and being as far away from here as possible. He had a whole new life already setup for himself. We were his last job. He was retiring after last night. In his parting, he wanted Diego to take the fall for it all, by the time it got back to him; his old life wouldn’t exist any longer. He counted on that.” Sara trailed off. “He didn’t count on you fighting back that much was obvious.” Officer Koontz said absently while scribbling down the last bit of info.
“No, I guess he didn’t. He tried to rape me during our fight. I got the upper hand and sent him…” she stopped, he deserved it, she knew that; however taking anyone’s life was not supposed to be easy. It was easier than she thought it would be, but it still affected her. “We figured as much when we finally made it into the apartment. The state you were in broke most of our hearts Sara. You put up one hell of a fight against a guy who was taller than you and outweighed you by a considerable amount. The official police report is going to read ‘Justifiable Homicide’ as his cause of death. A standard investigation is being done, but you have nothing to worry about.” He assured her. Sara also realized it was the first time he spoke her first name out loud, she liked it. “How did you know the hit man?” Sara looked over and saw that there was confusion written on the officer’s face. “He was engaged to my best friend, Beth Kingston.” Sara could put no emotion behind the declaration. “Wait, what? So you knew the killer previous to last night?” “No. I only met him once and saw him again yesterday while I was out running errands. I didn’t put two and two together then. If I had, maybe I could have...” she trailed off, emotion breaking every word like waves against rocks. There was a long silence in the room. Sara stared back out the window. The machines tied to her the only sound in the room. She must have drifted off to sleep because the visions of the night before began playing through her dreams like a movie shot on bad film. When she awoke again, the room was dark, the officer was gone and the city lights casted an eerie glow from the streets below. She laid there, wondering what the future was going to bring, where would she go? What would she do? Where would she live? No, her home was that apartment. She wasn’t going to let some asshole run her out of it. She would clean it up and stay right where she was.
“Excuse me Mrs. Connelly?” came a soft voice she had never heard before, she turned from the window to the door on the opposite wall. A young nurse was standing there with the door part way open. “Yes mam? How can I help you?” Sara’s voice steady and quiet. “I was just checking up on you. I was going to leave you be because you were sleeping, but since you’re awake, I figured I’d better check on you.” The nurse came all the way into the room and let the door close slowly on its own. “You missed lunch and dinner yesterday, are you hungry? I could get you something.” Sara thought about that for a minute. The last time she was in a hospital was years ago and the food sucked royally. “Is the food here still the same as always?” she asked, wrinkling her nose. The nurse let out a soft laugh “No. It’s improved quite a bit I’m sure.” She set a tray down on the bedside cart and wheeled it over to Sara. She took the lid off and looked at it, it was still hot and she realized just how hungry she was. She hadn’t had anything to eat since last night, or was it
the night before? She didn’t know how long she had been in here. “Umm, how long?” she began. “How long? You mean how long have you been in here?” The nurse asked. “Yes.” Sara was trying to talk while shoving the Salisbury steak in her mouth. The nurse’s face showed pity and her voice was somber. “It’s been two days exactly sweetie.” She told her. “The doctor on duty asked me to ring him if you woke up. He wants to check you out and talk some things over with you.” the nurse added. Sara’s anxiety went up. The thought of strange men didn’t set well with her. The nurse heard her heart rate go up and realized quickly. “Don’t worry Sara, I’ll stay in here the whole time, plus there is an officer stationed right outside your door.”
A short while later there was a knock on the door and Sara assumed it must be the doctor. The nurse, who she now knew as Leslie, gave her a reassuring smile and told the doctor to come in. The door open to let and elderly man in a white coat in, the lights from the hallways splashing against his back as he entered. He wore glasses and was looking at a chart as if it contained the answers to life in it. “Morning Sara.” he greeted. “Wait, morning?” she asked. “Yes dear, it’s 4:45 in the morning.” Leslie interjected. Sara was really growing quiet fond of her night nurse. “Well Sara, other than some bumps, bruises, abrasions, a serious case of fatigue and exhaustion, you seem to be in good health. One of your ribs is contused. That’s the most serious thing.” The elderly doctor smiled at her. “We can release you tomorrow if the rest of the test come back with positive results.” he added. He seemed reluctant to add anything else until Sara asked him if there was anything else. “Yes, Lass. Considering what you went through, you shouldn’t be home alone. Not for a while at least. I’ll want to see you again in three weeks for a checkup. I have a friend in the psychiatry department you can speak to if you feel the need.” he offered. “Oh, also, so you know, quite a few friends and family have been by to see you over the last day or so. Your mother-in-law will be here in the morning.” the doctor concluded by asking if there was anything she needed. Sara couldn’t think of anything and thanked him for checking up on her. As he left the room, Leslie also asked if she needed anything. “More sleep.” Sara responded through a yawn. “Alright sugar, if you change your mind, I’ll be here till 8, just give the nurses’ desk a ring.” and with that, Sara was alone in the room again. Sleep came quickly.