by Lee Miller
“This is your home now Beth. Someday we’ll have to get back over to the apartment and get the rest of your stuff. I want you to stay with me permanently. I don’t think I can do this without you.” Sara looked at Beth who kept her gaze out the window. “I’m not going anywhere until you are ready for me to Sara. If you need me here, then here is where I am.” Sara gave Beth a hug “Thank you sweetie. That means everything to me. I want you to know I’m here for you too. This isn’t a one way street.” She kissed Beth on the cheek and went to get ready for bed.
Sara laid there for what seemed like hours, tossing and turning. She couldn’t get the impression, in the far reaches of her mind that something was off. Something just didn’t feel right. She couldn’t explain it, but it was there, lingering.
When she finally awoke, it seemed the night had stretched on for too long. Opening her eyes, she was greeted with the midmorning sun and a strange beeping noise she couldn’t quiet place. She lay in bed trying to put the odd noise in perspective, but couldn’t. It just kept bugging her. Finally, tired of just lying there, she crawled out of bed. Her back was sore from the moving yesterday. She sat on the edge of the bed, considering what all needed to be done that day. Other than write up Chris’s obituary, she couldn’t think of anything. Today was a day of no expectations. Maybe she’d go for a walk later. Or catch a movie. She didn’t know. The sharp pain of Chris’s absence was ever present. Sticking into her like a sharp needle searching for a vain. Deciding on showering quickly instead of one of her ‘solve the world problems or write a novel’ level showers. After preparing herself for the day, she descended the stairs to find Jackie and Beth already up and drinking coffee. “Morning sleepyhead.” Beth called out while she poured Sara a cup of the freshly brewed coffee. “Do you guys hear that strange beeping noise?” Sara asked still half asleep. “Beeping noise? Uh. No. should I?” Beth inquired. “You okay sweetie?” Jackie and Beth both had a look of concern on their face. “You know Sara, hearing strange noises that aren’t there is either a sign of insanity or you’re going deaf.” Beth offered. “I doubt either is the case Beth. Thanks though. I’ll either get a hearing aid or check myself into the local asylum.” Sara took the cup that was offered to her and tried to concentrate on the strange noise only to find it had stopped just as suddenly as it had begun. “Oh! Or maybe both. You know, just to be on the safe side I’d come visit you and sneak you in some snickers bars.” Beth was getting overly giddy about the prospect of Sara doing ‘hard time’ in the nut house. “Calm down Cletus. I’m not going to the state yet.” Sara said playfully as she picked up the morning paper. “Anything good in here?” she asked. “Nope. Natta. Just more BS about the mayors proposed tax hikes for the waterfront restoration and rezoning project.” Beth looked as if she might gag on the mention of the mayor’s idea. Sara herself wasn’t a fan of the idiotic notion. “Mayor’s just trying to leave his legacy behind. A ‘boot print in the sand’ kind of deal. He want’s history to remember he was ever even here.” Jackie explained. Sara listened to Jackie and Beth going on about the mayor’s plan. It began to sound as if their voices were coming across a huge distance. Then they began to sound like an echo in the dark of their real voices. Sara felt herself being pulled to the floor as the room started spinning heavily. Darkness fell as she felt and heard an audible ‘thump’ coming from a long way away. She couldn’t make sense of what would have caused the noise or why things were suddenly black and then sparks of flashing lights were all around her. Finally she realized as she half opened her eyes and saw both Jackie and Beth standing over here looking concerned that she had passed out and the thump was her head hitting the floor. “That’ll hurt when I wake up” she thought to herself before the blackness took her again.
Sara woke up in the hospital. It was dark outside and no way to know what time it was. In the corner, slouched in a very uncomfortable position was a body. She couldn’t make out any details, but knew someone was there and would likely be very stiff when they woke up. The room’s ambient light and the light from outside didn’t offer much in the way of clues. She knew she must be in one of the upper floors because she was so far away from the streetlights. She laid there in the dark trying to piece everything together. What happen and how the hell did she get here. The darkness in the corner shifted and moved. “It’s a little after 3AM.” Came the sleepy voice from the shadowy corner. It was Beth. “Beth. What happen? I’m assuming we’re in the hospital? Sure looks like the hospital. The smell gives it away.” Sara was still trying to get her bearings. “Yeah, hospital. This chair sucks. What happen? We were standing there talking, then you did a half gainer into the hardwood. Bonked your head really good.” Beth was slowly waking up and Sara still had a lot of questions. “I passed out?” “Yup. Hit pretty hard.” came the half sleepy reply. “Why? Have the doctors said anything? Last thing I remember was you and Jackie talking then the room spinning, then blackness.” Sara was still confused and still not fully awake yet. “What day is it Beth?” “Tuesday. You’ve been out for two days. Doctors ran a bunch a test, said some medical stuff I couldn’t understand without a PhD in doctor-ology.” Sara was trying to make sense of her friend’s words when the door to her room open and a familiar face came through it. “Evening sweetie. I had hoped I wouldn’t see you in here again any time soon. Or ever. Actually.” It was the nightshift nurse from last time, Leslie. “Hiya nurse Leslie. I hadn’t expected to be back here either.” Sara warmed at the thought that if she had to be in here, that Leslie would be here nurse again. “You gave us a right serious scare sweetie. I was here when they brought you in from the ambulance. Beth here has hardly left your side.” The nurse looked towards the shadowy corner were Sara knew Beth sat. A look of admiration on her face. “You know how to pick your friends well dear.” Sara’s heart warmed at the fact Beth hadn’t left her side much the whole time she was out of this world. “Where’s Jackie?” she asked. “The older lady who came in with you? I thought I saw her heading to the cafeteria not long ago. She has been here pretty steady too. Is she your mother?” Leslie asked as she put the blood pressure cuff over Sara’s right arm. “Yes. More or less. She’s the only mother figure I have left. She was…” Sara paused at the name, it was hard for her to say his name still. “Chris’s mother?” The nurse finished for her. “Yes. She has always been very good to me. She was the one who picked me up the last time I got out of this place. Speaking of which, how long am I in for this time?” Sara asked, making the hospital stay sound like doing time in the big house. She saw the trepidation written all over the pretty southern ladies face. “We don’t know Sara. Every test we’ve ran has come back either clean or inconclusive. Doc doesn’t know what to make of it all.” Leslie finished taking Sara’s blood pressure. “Very normal for a healthy 20something year old.” Leslie announced. Just then, as if summoned on que, the night shift doctor came through the door. “Ah. I see you’re awake. Good. How do you feel?” The doctor raised the lighting in the room slowly to give everyone’s eyes a chance to adjust. Once fully on, Sara still had to squint to see. The light hitting her eyes like pinpricks from a needle. “I’ve had better days” Sara remarked as if asked how the weather was. “I see. Tell me Mrs. Connelly, what were you doing right before you passed out?” Sara had to concentrate to trace her steps that morning. “I had just gotten out of bed and showered then dressed. I went down stairs and Jackie and Beth were already up. Beth handed me a cup of coffee. I stood there and drank it as we chatted about mostly nothingness, them, well, nothingness. Then I’m here.” Sara felt exhausted, like she had just ran the Boston Marathon. Twice. “How do you feel now” the Doctor asked. “Tired. Very tired.” Sara answered. “Hmm...Well, we can’t find anything wrong. We’ve checked and double-checked. Nothing. I’d like to schedule you for an MRI if you’re amenable to that.” The doctor had out a clipboard and was taking notes. Sara thought for a fleeting moment that he was drawing cartoon characters in the ledgers on the side of school paper. He reminded her of
an old school teacher she once had. “MRI? When? Do I have to stay here till it’s complete?” Sara didn’t want to stay in the hospital any longer than was absolutely necessary. “I checked before coming in here, earliest appointment we have is in about 3 hours. I had to wheel and deal to get you in so early.” The old doctor smiled for the first time. “Doc, either you are doing me a great favor, or you’re far more concerned than your letting on. Which is it?” Sara felt the pit of her stomach drop a little. “You’re an observant one aren’t you? Truth is, a little of both. I don’t like being faced with a problem that has few symptoms and no answers. I want to know what’s going on. So, do we do the MRI? I can have you out of here if all things check clear by this evening.” Sara thought about that. Did she really want to know? Or did she want to be haunted by the specter of another episode? She had to know. “Yep. That’s fine by me Doc. Never had a MRI before, this should be an experience.” Sara sounded stronger than she actually felt. Outside she thought she appeared calm and composed, on the inside she was a train wreck of nerves. “Good. I’ll write a prescript for something to help with your nerves. You look like you’ve just seen the inside of your own grave.” The doctor walked out as he wrote some stuff down, presumably the prescription. “Well, so much for looking calm and composed.” Sara thought.
A short while later Leslie brought in the medication “Now listen sweetie, you’re going to be sleeping while the MRI takes place if you take this. It’s a fairly strong sedative. We’ll let you sleep it off and you’re going to need to be able to get up and move about before the doc will release you.” The nurse handed her the little paper cup that hospital meds always came in and a glass of water. Sara looked at the little pill like it was both a rare archeological find and like it was the devil in her hand at the same time. “Well, bottoms up I guess.” Sara threw the pill to the back of her throat and chased it with the small cup of water Leslie handed her. She looked over and realized Beth had been quiet and watchful of the whole thing. “You okay Beth?” Beth looked back towards here, she had been staring at the door since the doctor left out of it. “Do you think he knows every part of the human body? I mean, a doctor by day and serial killer by night. How do we know he doesn’t do that?” Sara had to shake her head and laugh a bit, her friends wild imagination never cease to amaze her. “You know Beth, you should write down some of your ideas and see about getting a book deal for yourself.” Beth was not amused. “No, like, seriously, how do we know he isn’t a night stalking serial killer?” Beth approached this like she was on the verge of breaking the world’s greatest crime. “Well, Beth, probably because he works at night. I don’t think he could very well go around killing people while at work. Unless of course he did it at work and disguised it all as patience dying of natural causes.” Sara ran with her friend’s idea and began to expand on it. Beth was quiet for a minute. Then got up from her chair “We’re are you going Beth?” Beth had the look of a 5 year old trying to figure out how the cookie jar opens written all over her face. “I’m gonna go follow Doctor Kills-A-Lot and see if I can catch him in the act.” Beth made to move towards the door. “Or you know Beth, you can stay here and protect me from him if he comes back?” Sara offered. Beth stopped and thought about that for a moment. “Good idea. Let’s turn the lights back down. Maybe he won’t know I’m still in here. I can tell you this; I’m never coming to this hospital.” Beth had a very stern look on her face. Sara almost believed she was serious. Almost. After a few minutes, the drugs took effect and Sara slipped back into the folds of sleep.
She woke up after what seemed like only minutes to find that the day was sliding towards night and both Jackie and Beth were in the room now. “She’s awake.” Jackie notified a sleeping Beth. I’ll ring for the doctor.” As Sara was getting fully awake, the Doctor came in the room. IT was Dr. Kills-A-Lot, as Beth renamed him. “Well Mrs. Connelly. The MRI test was clean. The only thing I can chalk this episode up to is lingering exhaustion and fatigue. MY advice for you is to go home, relax and I’m sending you with a prescription for sleeping pills and an antianxiety medication. Take the antianxiety twice daily. Morning and night and one sleeping pill about 30 minutes before bed. I want to see you in my office for a checkup in two weeks. If anything else happens, call immediately. Now you ladies take good care of her. Oh, and no driving while taking the nighttime aid and obviously, no alcohol with it.
Sara was released from the hospital, and for the second time in a month, someone else drove her home. She felt concern for her life, concern that those around would be affected by whatever it was that was ailing her. The doctor gave her a clean bill of health and said he chalked it up to residual fatigue and exhaustion. Sara wasn’t sure she believed that, but she was willing to take his advice and see if things got better. As the twilight city passed her by, she gazed out the window at the almost familiar landscape of the city blanketed by winter. Jackie said earlier that the forecast was for a major storm to hit but the weatherman were unsure of when it would plow into the city. They said everyone should embrace for quite a dozy when it did come. Sara lowered her window down and stuck her arm out. The late afternoon air was biting cold, but to Sara it felt good. It reminded her that she was alive. The cab dropped them off outside of the apartment building; Charles was there to greet them as usual. She felt bad that she had never gotten around to getting his birthday card. She stopped just outside the door and looked up into the deep slate gray sky that seemed endless and boundless at the same time. Gazing into the darkening footless halls of air, she felt a pinprick hit the tip of her nose. She crossed her eyes in time to see the little snowflake that had landed there as it sizzled and melted into her skin. “The assault has begun” she said to herself. “Going to be a good night to hold up in doors with some hot chocolate, Mrs. Connelly.” Charles added. They both watched as a swirling mass of clouds were lit up by the street lights. “Better get inside Mrs. the streets will be no place for someone to be tonight. I heard most every business in the city shut down early cause of this bad boy coming in.” Nothing ever seems to dampen Charles spirit. She was going to go up and make him some hot chocolate and bring it back down. She looked at her watch again, then back at the looming storm. “January ends much like it began it seems.” She thought. She made her way in and brought down a thermos full of hot chocolate for Charles. The storm was in full bloom now. Sara looked at her watch; it was January 31st.
March
February flew by in a flash. The corner had to hold Chris’s body while the investigation continued and forensics finished up their part of it, as such Sara had to wait till the first week of February to finally bury him. A little over a full month since the last day of his life. The apartment got quiet crowded during that week with visitors and well-wishers, family and distant relations came to pay their respects. Sara wasn’t at all surprised to see how many people showed up for her husband’s funeral. She ran into Mr. Scott, Chris’s boss during that week and he had asked her to contact him when things had settled down a bit. During the month she also had several doctor’s appointments with no conclusive verdict on what had happen to her that day close to the end of January. She hadn’t had any further episodes since. Towards the end, she realized she still hadn’t contacted Mr. Scott, she did and sat an appointment for the first week of March to come to his office. Sara was busy getting ready, she wasn’t sure what to wear to such a meeting, so she decided on business casual. Beth, as always, ping ponged around the apartment stressing over Sara’s health and peppering her with questions. She knew Beth meant well, and if the roles were reversed, she’d do the same thing; minus the ping ponging. “Sara, I know you need to go see Mr. Scott, but are you sure you’re ready for this? I mean, the wounds are still a bit new sweetie.” Sara had a hard time keeping up with Beth’s conversation or where Beth even was. Since moving in, Beth took it upon herself to keep the place spotless; and was currently dusting every surface in site. “Ya Beth, I’m ready for this. I need to get this done. Life doesn’t seem t
o move forward like a car down a road, but more like trying to negotiate a winding staircase. This is another step I need to take. I need to hear him out.” Beth came to her side with dust rag and can of pledge in hand. “Then I’m coming with you. I told you when I moved in that you weren’t in this alone and I meant it. Plus, maybe afterwards we can go by my old apartment and get things settled there? I’m sure my plants need watering by now.” Sara had to stop getting ready as she thought about that last part of Beth’s statement. “Uh. Beth, you have fake plastic plants in your apartment.” Beth looked at her like Sara had just said the craziest thing ever. “So you’re saying just because they were made in a factor and not grown that they don’t deserve water?” The look on Beth’s face was of pure sincerity mixed with a tinge of hurt. Sara loved this woman more and more every day. She had always known that Beth moved to a different beat and saw the world differently from others, it was part of her charm and why she was Sara’s best friend. “Okay sweetie. We’ll see Mr. Scott then run by your place to water the plants and get anything that you may need. You aren’t thinking of moving out of here are you?” Beth looked at her with a wrinkled nose like she had just smelled something horrible. “Please. You can’t get rid of me that easily. Especially since Jackie is moving back into her place. I’m going to miss her.” Beth frowned. The two other ladies who had inhabited her apartment over the last two months full time had grown very fond of each other. Even though Jackie was moving back to her own place, she had adopted yet another daughter in Beth. “You know mom said you can go by anytime you wanted to. Her door would always be open to you. Sara looked at the clock on the wall, they had to get going. The city had been blasted twice more with severe winter weather over the last month and much of it was still on the ground. Travel was still a bit treacherous even though the street department had crews out almost 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. “We gotta go Beth. Even walking is going to be slow going.” Beth set her cleaning stuff down at the last spot she dusted and ran to get ready. Sara was impressed with how fast that girl could get fixed up, she thought she was fast, Beth was faster. She was finishing up her coffee and morning reading while old Kenny Rogers played through the surround sound, in less than 15 minutes Beth was back out and fixed up. “Gees Girl, how do you do it? I can’t even get ready that quickly!” Beth simply shrugged and gathered her purse and sun glasses. “Beth, you realize they sun isn’t even out? It’s hidden behind the miles of clouds.” Sara glanced out the window to make sure the sun hadn’t made one of its rare appearances, nope, still cloudy. “Duh, everyone knows only the coolest people wear shades for fashion. Get with the times lady.” Beth shook her head and grinned at her friend’s perceived cluelessness. “Beth, you’re wearing Mickey Mouse sunglasses, how is that a fashion statement exactly?” Sara asked while grabbing her own out of her purse. “Mickey is cool. No digging on Mickey.” By the tone Beth used, she knew any more dissing of her sunglasses would likely bring a violent response. “Okay, Okay. Mickey’s cool. Not as cool as Donald Duck, but whatever floats your boat. They finished gathering their stuff and headed out the door. The four block walk would still take time. Sara knew there would be at least one occasion of Beth wanting to start a snowball fight with either her or some random person on the street. Beth had never met a stranger. They as they passed through the lobby, she saw Charles at the door and reached into her purse to retrieve the very belated birthday card. “Charles, I completely forgot to give this to you on your birthday.” She said as she handed him the light yellow colored envelope. Charles open the envelope up and saw a gift card inside for a fairly ritzy restaurant that was just a few blocks away. “Take that lovely wife of yours to dinner on me” Sara reached in and gave the elderly doorman a hug. “Thank you for what you do Charles.” The older man was speechless. “Miss, I can’t take this.” He started to say, but Sara was hearing none of it. “Yes you will. You deserve it Charles.” The old man had tears in his eyes. “Thank you ma’am, thank you and God bless you and yours.” Charles held open the door for the two ladies as they departed. “When was his birthday?” Beth asked. “Oh. A week after Chris’s death” Sara replied. Not really wanting to remember why she missed giving him the card on the actual day.