by Dani Stowe
Me.
“Willis,” I mumble, scooting back.
He smiles cockily as he releases himself. He stands up straighter and looks me over before he climbs over me.
The mattress tips back and forth as his thick thighs and heavy knees plow into the bed.
“Remove all of this, Athena,” he says, tugging at my pajama top before he comes to hover above me.
“I’m not remov—”
He kisses me. His body lands heavily against mine and I find that I am sinking deep into the mattress. Willis’s breath is hot, but it tastes and smells sweet, like citrus. Like he crushed a couple of mandarins earlier between those perfect pearly white canines of his.
He withdraws, licking his lips, leaving my taste buds dressed in tangy fruit. “Athena,” he repeats, placing the tip of his nose on mine while sliding his hand up my thigh and through my loose cotton pajama shorts.
“Yeah,” I answer, dizzy, as his fingers trail towards my crease.
“Take off your clothes.”
“I...” I close my eyes. This feels like a dream. One I’ve had over and over again except this time I can actually feel something real and I’m rejoicing. This is my dream come true!
Willis’s hand has made its way beneath the tight layers of cotton I’m wearing and he’s stroking his calloused fingers along that most smooth, sensitive flesh of my inner slit. The sensation is both exciting and calming, tickling and electrifying, and out of nowhere, I’m...
Wet.
His finger slips into me.
I gasp, ready to screech, but a nibble on my lip followed by a thrust of a slippery tongue penetrating my mouth keeps me silent.
Willis’s finger continues to penetrate me. In and out he works when suddenly he has unhooked his finger from within me and is flicking, teasing at my clit, and then rubbing. Circularly. I can’t catch my breath.
“Wil-lis,” I murmur, escaping his mouth, but keeping my face close to his to inhale him deeply as he breathes me in as well.
He rubs harder, fiercer, before his fingers take another plunge.
I’m moaning, so he repeats this cycle. Plunging and then rubbing.
An urge inside of me quickens. I feel as though I’m on the edge. I’ve been caught and placed on the edge of something sharp and I want to be cut free. I want to come. Oh God, I’m so close! So close to...
He withdraws.
I clutch at Willis’s arms, his massive, swollen beefy arms. “No, don’t stop!” I beg, flipping my eyes open to see his wicked gaze.
“Remove your clothing,” he commands, and I quickly attempt to pull everything off.
Moments ago, I was embarrassed of being so vulnerable even though he’s seen me completely naked before. But now, I can’t wait to have him touch me. Have his way with me.
I slow down when I realize he’s watching, his arms and legs spread, hovering over me. His breath hitches when my breasts come free and he lifts an arm to tug on his cock as I wiggle to remove my bottoms.
When I’m completely naked, he comes up on his knees, lifts and grabs my thighs, and then yanks! Pulling my body towards him.
“Oh, Captain,” I say as he glides the heated head of his cock up and down along the inner folds of my silken slit.
Willis’s smile turns devious as he spreads my legs wide, taking one last good look before he aims the tip of his thick curve at my entrance. He makes eye contact with me and impales me.
He buries himself inside me. Each hard thrust of his raking curve feels as though he is trying to dig his way deeper and deeper within me.
He’s going hard. I’ve never done this before, but I know he’s going hard on me.
And I take it. I take every hard inch of his hook because I want it. I want him. I want this man. I always have. He saved me and I’ll save him. We were always meant to be like this and end this way. He was mine from the start and no matter where I go or what I become, his memory will be mine for all eternity.
“You like that, Athena?” He slams into me repeatedly, thinking he can fuck me and make me feel indifferent towards him—hate him.
He’s mad if he thinks that could ever happen.
“Yes, Captain,” I reply because I like this. I like him. He’s difficult to handle. He’s so big and so intense. I sense that at any moment he’s going to break me. I just bite my lip and grip my pillows enjoying every bit of the strength and power he has.
With a grumble, he grips at my hips, pulling me over the full length of his shaft and pumps me hard with every ounce of energy that his working muscles could exhaust. The slapping of our bodies echoes in harmony with the rattling of the walls. This man sure knows how to make a lot of noise.
“You want it more like this?”
“Please, Captain,” I beg as my body is jerked wildly in his grasp.
He groans as he thrusts even harder and something in me shifts. Once more, I’m at the crest! My body tenses. Oh my, I’m going to co...
“No.” Willis pulls out.
Something within me breaks. I’m at a loss. I was on the brink! I was at the edge of the horizon, ready to slip past the edge of the earth to fall and float within a great void that I know could only come from an orgasm.
“Willis!” I snap.
He comes off the bed, reaching for his pants and pulling them on. “This is wrong. This is not how this should be.”
I’m so angry. Furious!
But he looks so solemn. Sad.
My heart breaks. “Willis?”
He sighs, pulling over his shirt.
I reach for my own clothes. “What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”
“There is nothing wrong and yet everything is wrong,” he says, helping me to put my shirt over my head.
Wrong. Wrong. That’s all I hear. And I know he’s talking about me. Again, I feel like that stupid little girl in love since she could remember with a creature that could never love her back because we are from two different worlds except that he is not the monster—I am.
“What is wrong with me that you don’t want me?” I’m ready for Lenora to take me to Hell now.
“Oh, Athena,” he sits next to me and strokes my hair away from my face before he cups my cheeks and kisses my forehead. He pulls a knife from his back pocket. It’s small. I hadn’t noticed it in his pants earlier.
He puts the handle in my palm.
I cringe, shaking my head. We went straight from love making to murder. “No.”
“Yes,” he says, clasping my hand around the handle and guiding the knife’s point to his ribs.
“No, stop!” I screech. We are each struggling to fight against the other.
He is so strong. “You must do this,” he says. “Don’t you see?”
“No, I don’t see!” I say trying to pull the knife away.
“Look at me.” He grips my jaw with one hand forcing me to look him in the eyes. “You are a goddess, Athena. A true goddess. You healed me. You taught me to see. Truly see. Because of you, I recognize what my real power is as you’ve mentioned before...” He lets go of my hand on the knife’s handle to cup my cheeks. “Sacrifice. Take my life, Athena, as an offering. I offer my life to you. Just promise me that one day you will learn to love again as much as I love you now.”
“You love me?” I can’t believe it!
“Aye,” he nods with the most beautiful and brilliant smile I’ve ever seen.
My breath leaves me. Really, I can’t catch my breath. My lungs are refusing to expand around with my collapsing heart because...
I look down at my bloodied hands. I just stabbed myself.
18
Willis
Love.
Stupid. Fucking. Thing. This...
Love.
I don’t know how I did not see this coming. I should’ve known Athena would do this to herself. I know her better than anyone. Better than her parents. Better than I know myself.
She’s choking on her own blood and I weep. I wrap my arm around her, pulling her
to my chest. With my other arm, I slip my hand beneath her knees and lift. Going out the door, I head down the metal staircase and carry her through Main Street.
“Do you remember our meeting here?” I ask. “You tried to kiss me,” I say with a chuckle. “Naughty girl. You’ve always loved danger.”
Athena’s arm swings loose, hanging, and I peep down to see her beautiful face. It’s as beautiful as it has ever been, aglow by moonlight but motionless. She’s gone.
Coddling her lifeless body, I pick up my pace. I remember this road leads to another that will take me to the marina.
To the sea.
Of course, she had to stab herself right in the heart. Right where all things matter most and I regret the way I took her as I did.
There is so much guilt within me, I feel weak. I’m straining to keep Athena’s body elevated in my arms. She is so light, but my shame is so heavy.
I fucked her. As usual, I was trying to teach her a lesson and I fucked her when I should’ve been making love to her. I should’ve accepted her for who she was. For what she was.
A pure creature.
Divine.
I should’ve allowed her to make her own choices instead of trying to control her and the consequences she knew would come.
Entering the marina, I see a slope where humans take their boats to be lowered into the water.
Heading down the slope, I come near the water’s edge. I don’t have my powers anymore, but I can still sense the ocean’s intentions. I always had a knack for understanding the sea and the sea says she is ready to welcome its new deity.
Placing Athena down, I kneel at her side. The sliver of something in the water stirs, and Lenora pokes her head out. The witch has many limbs. She has made herself look like Orphelius’s creature. I cry as I watch Lenora wrap one... two... then three tentacles around Athena, tugging at her ankles and a wrist to pull.
“You knew!” I scowl at the witch. “You knew Athena would not kill Henry.”
“Of course, I knew,” Lenora smirks. “You weren’t the only one who was listening to her fairy tales. Don’t you remember the story about the little mermaid? She sacrifices herself for the man she loves. You should’ve been paying better attention. You should’ve known this would happen.”
“I’m to blame then. Please take me back instead.”
“You know I cannot do that. She’s made her choice and I will respect her for it.”
I wail as Athena is dragged into the depths.
“Stop wailing,” Lenora warns. “You sound like a siren. Don’t you remember what happens when you sound off a siren at sea?” She waves a finger at me. “You will wake the gods.”
Gritting my teeth, “Wake them,” I demand. “Wake them all!” I cry out even louder.
Athena’s body has mostly disappeared but her head remains above and to my surprise, her eyes flip open!
“Athena!”
She’s awakened.
“Willis,” she cries but a wrap of sea kelp around her mouth silences her.
I get up, quickly running towards her only to be slowed by a halting barricade of thickening water.
Lenora pulls Athena swiftly and much further out.
“Lenora, bring her back,” I yell. “Athena is mine. Bring that woman back to me!”
“Bring her back?” Lenora laughs. “What for? Do you think you’ll be able to take better care of her fragility than you did just moments ago? You’ll have to do better than that, Captain. And perhaps when you’ve learned your lesson, you will find your true calling.”
Athena squirms.
“Come, girl,” Lenora says. “Let me show you what you’ve really been waiting your whole life to see. Let me show you my magic.”
For months, I have been coming to sit on the beach. I bring books, a linen bag for sleeping in, and oranges plus a couple of trinkets, including a palm-sized music box—a music player—with an attached speaker that was given to me as a gift from Shelley and Kumiko. I like modern music, especially songs by a lovely lady named GaGa. I can never decide which of her two songs are my most favorite, Monster or The Cure.
The sheriff has given the three of us, each seaman, a job. Tourists have been swarming in by the busload with all the gossip about the town being cursed with magic. Henry, Orphelius, and I are now Marine Police. We patrol the sea as lawmen, keeping the area safe and void of poaching and other criminal activity. The work is not as tough as when we were in her majesty’s navy, but we can get busy. We get especially busy when there are sightings of mystical creatures, reported to be half-man, half-beast.
I, myself, have been diligent in keeping watch for a certain creature. A woman I suspect that has been turned into a half-beast as well.
I’ve called to her. But she never comes. I don’t understand why she doesn’t. When Athena was younger, a girl in her teens, she once told me how to summon a mermaid. If Athena had indeed been turned into such a creature, all I’d have to do is simply call to her by her divine name, which I’ve done thousands of times now. How much more divine could the name Athena be? It is, after all, the name of a most famous deity.
I worry that perhaps Athena was not transformed and has been instead taken captive or worse, turned entirely into a sea creature. I try not to think of it. Lenora has assured me Athena is not a slave but has chosen her own path and Lenora refuses to speak with me further about it.
The witch has built herself a clinic, seaside. She enjoys getting involved in human matters. She claims she was a healer in her old life before she was taken from her village when the slave trade was at its peak. She’s forged herself a fake doctoral certificate while she learns the ways of modern medicine, although her skills with the trident are genuine. People not only come from far and wide to experience the nostalgia of our town, but they also come to seek miracles from Lenora, come to be known as the Magician of Modern Medicine. With the powers she possesses, Lenora has a knack for curing people deemed incurable.
I wish she’d cure me. I’m lovesick. I was angry with Lenora for a time, but I’ve come to understand that Lenora is right. She’s not in control of my fate.
I am.
There were so many things I could’ve done differently when it came to Athena. Most often, I think of the first moment I hadn’t even known I’d fallen in love with her. Athena reported she had just graduated from school from one level of studies and was going to leave for another type of school. I pitched a few tidal waves and sunk a few atolls that day, and I was miserable for a time. She did not come back for many years.
I could’ve easily shown myself to her then, but I didn’t for the same reason I’m sure she keeps herself hidden from me now.
Because she’s ashamed.
Because she’s afraid.
She doesn’t trust me enough and fears what I’m going to think when I see that she’s different.
Tonight, as I cozy up on the beach, propping my head on a makeshift sand pillow, I hear Henry call to me from the beach house.
“Captain!” He stomps, coming down the ramp, swinging his arms with a chilled bottle of homemade beer in his hand.
What a good lad. It’s wonderful to drink cold beer. It’s even more wonderful to see Henry has use of all his extremities again.
My friend—my brother—squats beside me, grinning and watching his own toes wiggle in the sand before he addresses me. “NOAA reports there’ll be a swell coming in. There’s a hell-of-a-storm above the equator. You might want to move up a bit further on the beach. Get closer to the house or you’ll get wet tonight.”
NOAA. It stands for National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. It’s Henry’s new friend in navigation. I can’t quite understand all of the techno-no input, but Henry sure has picked up on it quick. Turns out he’s a much finer navigator than I ever was. Although, he’s still a pain in the arse, still eager to be in the Captain’s favor.
“Or...” he squints his blue eyes at me. “Maybe you should sleep indoors tonight?”
�
��Don’t test me.”
“I wasn’t testing you.”
“Yes, you were.”
“For ages, we’d wished we could be men again, and you won’t even enjoy the spoils of a few cushions.” He holds out his arm towards the beach house.
“I’m not leaving her. Do you remember what it was like to live out there? Alone?”
“Mmm,” he nods. “It was lonely, but at least we had each other.” He perks up.
“Athena has no one.”
Henry slumps, surveying the ocean, turning his head from far left to far right. “Are you sure this is about her and not the sea? Sometimes, I think you’re afraid to sleep inside because you’re afraid to live on land, you’re afraid to be without the thing you loved since before Athena.”
“Athena is the only thing I love. I want to live on land Henry, but not without her. You can understand that, can’t you?”
“Yes,” he says and spits out a grain of sand that had somehow landed on his lip and made it onto his tongue. “On land or at sea, wherever Shelley is, that’s where I want to be.”
“Then leave me to my linen bag.”
“It’s called a sleeping bag.”
“Don’t be a pain in the arse.”
“Aye aye, Captain,” he says, with a salute and a nod and then swaps the bottle of beer for one of my oranges.
Bootlicking bastard.
Night inches its way across the sky until the earth appears to be completely covered in darkness. Stars wink and I keep my speaker turned up a bit louder tonight. I put some new songs on my playlist that I want Athena to hear. Love songs. She can pretend not to be listening, but I know what’s it’s like to live fathoms deep at sea. She can hear me.
Naturally, I’m infuriated when my music box dies!
Ugh! Electricity. It’s such a wonderful discovery, but it’s not completely reliable.
As I knock my music box against my opposite palm hoping to cause a spark, the wind funnels cold through my ears. The storm to the north is bringing chilled air thousands of miles from the Arctic.
I recall what it was like to be made of water and ice. So stiff and without feeling. But I’m happy to have lived in such a way. I can appreciate everything I touch, everything I smell, everything I taste more than ever...