* * *
As soon as breakfast was over the next day, Jaci summoned Mackey and Selkirk to the study where she explained her plan.
Mackey shook his head. “I don’t know, Miss. I dare say he’ll steam real good if you do that.”
“Mackey, he’s steaming now. What will make the difference? Besides, look at the view from this window.” She scurried over to the drapes and threw them wide. “He can wake up to the sun shining in the window and see his horses from his bed. What could be better?”
She turned to face the men, firm in her conviction. “Nicholas needs to be with people. He can not remain upstairs shut away any longer; nor will I allow him to do so. Spring will be here in another month and I know it will make a difference.” At the continued reluctance she saw on the men’s faces, she added the coup d’état. “You put me in charge; now you will reap the benefits of that decision. I expect the changes to be made by the end of the day.”
Though the feeling of power made her head light, her stomach twisted nervously as the morning slid by. She deliberately stayed upstairs with Amanda most of the afternoon, trying to get the child to study. Eventually, they both gave up. Here was yet another reason Nicholas had to get well.
Amanda refused to learn her lessons, and Mackey said she hadn’t been to the stables much since the accident. Every time Jaci helped her dress, it seemed her little shifts hung looser on her shoulders. As far as Jaci knew, Nicholas still hadn’t seen Amanda. Well, all that was about to change.
Jaci had dreamed about the accident again last night. Each time that happened, the revelation came to her that Nicholas had crossed the century to show up in her photographs. To her, that meant something, and she refused to give up on him.
She prepared a special tray for him that night, telling Delta she would take it up herself. Selkirk and Mackey were the only people who knew the plan, and she wanted to leave it at that. She didn’t want anyone else getting into trouble, and she had no doubt there would be some.
Nicholas scowled at her when she came into his bedroom. The lamps had already been lit and the drapes drawn, even though there was about an hour of daylight left. Smiling sweetly, she set the tray on Nicholas’s lap and stuffed another pillow behind his back.
She didn’t comment on the darkness, nor the fact that he apparently hadn’t let Selkirk shave him today. Since the accident, more often than not he would let his beard grow for days at a time before either he or Selkirk would shave it. Jaci frowned, but said nothing, leaving him to eat in solitude.
She didn’t venture back for two hours, and when she entered the room this time, she immediately rang for the servants. The dinner tray had fallen to the floor, the dishes scattered from the impact. Nicholas lay sideways on the bed, still as a post.
Selkirk appeared by her side. “You didn’t do him in, did you, miss?” His voice sounded quite shaky.
“No, of course not.” Even so, Jaci reached out to check for Nicholas’s pulse. He hadn’t moved a muscle, and she really did hope she hadn’t given him too much of the sleeping draught Thomas had originally left. “The drug will make him sleep soundly, so he won’t argue with us when we move him. By the time he wakes up, he’ll be in his new room downstairs. What can he do? Climb out of bed and walk back up here?”
The butler gasped, and she supposed her dark humor didn’t set well. When Mackey entered, the two men hoisted Nicholas up and carried him downstairs to the study-turned-bedroom.
She dismissed the men once they had Nicholas comfortably tucked into bed. She opened the drapes and allowed the moonlight to filter through the glass. The night was clear and she saw a horse or two in the paddock. Because she knew he couldn’t hear her, except perhaps in his deepest subconscious mind, she spoke from her heart.
“Nicholas, I hope you realize I’m doing this for your own good.” She walked quietly back to the bed and sat down on the edge beside him. She took his hand and caressed the back. “I love you dearly, and am terrified of losing you. You must begin to understand that I’ll love you forever. I want to see you well and on your feet again, but even if you never take another step, it won’t stop my feelings for you.”
She bent forward and placed a soft kiss on his brow. “I didn’t want to fall in love with you. I now know what Nancy Schaffer meant, and I never thought it would happen to me.”
She studied his profile. In sleep, the worry lines were gone; the downward slope of his mouth had softened. Perhaps he was having happier dreams than his day-to-day life inspired. She hoped so. Only the new day would tell whether her latest attempt to goad him into living would work.
* * *
“Sel-l-l-kirk!” The bellow ricocheted off the walls, and if the servants hadn’t already been up, they most certainly would have risen in a hurry.
“Oh, dear, here it comes.” The gray-haired man commented as he and Jaci looked at each other over coffee.
“Well, at least we won’t have any trouble hearing him from now on,” she said wryly, not at all sure, in the morning light, that they had done the right thing. Unable to allow Selkirk to take the blame, she shadowed the man down the hall as he entered the study. Back against the wall, she scooted forward to overhear their conversation; feeling guilty, but not guilty enough to stop listening.
“What in the hell is going on? How did I get here?” The bellow hadn’t softened, even though Selkirk was now inside the same room.
“Miss thought you’d be more comfortable—”
“Who?”
“Miss Eastman, sir. She thought it would do your spirits good to be among your family on the ground floor, and to see your horses.” Jaci heard the scratch of the curtains being drawn open further.
“The only thing that will help my spirits is a bottle of spirits. And draw the damn drapes!” Nicholas’s voice had become so belligerent that Jaci almost stepped inside.
“I’m sorry, sir, but Miss Eastman says no more booze.” Apparently Selkirk could hold his own.
“Booze?”
“Her word, sir, but I believe it means spirits.”
“Miss Eastman, Miss Eastman. Who the hell put her in charge? Isn’t this my house, anymore?”
“Yes, sir, but while you’re recovering, Miss Eastman has taken over; so to speak, sir.”
“Well, get Miss Eastman in here.” There was a pause, and Jaci longed to see what was transpiring.
“Now!” The single word was hollered. Jaci’s head scrunched into her shoulders.
“Yes, sir.” Selkirk’s voice was quite near, and when he appeared at the doorway, a wide grin split his usually stern features.
In a conspiring voice, he whispered, “Come,” and headed down the hall towards the kitchen. Jaci quickly followed. Once they were out of hearing distance, he turned, the smile still in place.
“By Jove, it’s good to see him show some spirit. He hoisted himself up on the bed, and for a moment, I actually thought he would jump up and come after me.”
For the first time in days, Jaci laughed. It appeared things would get better. She took Nicholas his breakfast as a peace offering. He scowled at her but didn’t bluster, and she refused to be intimidated. Calmly she explained that moving him was for his own good; the sunshine was for his own good, and getting well was for his own good.
“I’ll come back when you’re in a better mood,” she ended her speech as she put his breakfast tray on his lap.
“That’ll be a cold day in hell,” he countered, but she took heart that he didn’t sound nearly as belligerent as usual.
* * *
“Good day, sir. We’re all very glad you’ve made it home.” Selkirk’s voice drifted into the parlor from the front door, and Jaci wondered to whom he spoke. Thomas wasn’t expected, and she knew of no one else who had indicated they would come visiting.
Sitting in front of the fireplace, she looked up from the game of checkers she and Amanda were playing. A gasp escaped as a man entered the parlor. “Nicholas? How on earth?”
Amanda s
quealed and jumped up, running across the room. “Papa!” She grabbed the man’s leg in a hug and wouldn’t let go.
The man stood there, awkward and seemingly not knowing what to do with the child who clung to his person. He clumsily reached down to pat her head.
So this is Cameron, the prodigal brother, thought Jaci. He looked just like Nicholas.
Dark hair fringed a tan face, his eyes the same silvery color. Upon closer scrutiny, she realized he was shorter than Nicholas, and gray had yet to tip his hair.
“Amanda, where are your manners?” she softly chided the child.
Amanda peeked around the edges of Cameron’s coat, not in the least bothered by the fact that her own papa didn’t toss her into the air as Nicholas did upon his return from business. She looked at Jaci, puckered her lips and shrugged her shoulders.
Jaci sighed and shook her head, trying to gracefully untangle her legs and rise from the floor.
“Allow me.” Cameron had moved across the room to help her.
“Thank you.” She suddenly felt shy, not at all sure how to respond to this man. After all, he was family, albeit absentee, and she was only an employee.
“My brother; where is he; how is he?” Even as he spoke, Cameron doffed his greatcoat and hat, handing them to Selkirk, who had followed him into the room. “Amanda, stop.” He curtly acknowledged the child’s tug on his pant leg.
Jaci immediately sprang to the little girl’s defense. Gently, she untangled her from her father’s leg and lifted her close. Kissing her cheek, she whispered softly to her, but shot daggers at the man. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, your papa is tired from his trip. I’m sure that’s the only reason he would speak so.”
The man had the good grace to look properly chastised. “I’m...I’m sorry, Muffin.”
“Don’t call me that,” Amanda retorted, though her words were muffled as she hid her face in the curve of Jaci’s neck. “Uncle Nicholas is the only one who can call me that.”
Cameron looked taken back and somewhat embarrassed. Perhaps she should work on him as long as he was home. He might be more receptive to change than his brother. But the thought of taking on any more dysfunctional family challenges drained her of strength, but she managed a weak smile of welcome.
“Good day, Cameron. I am Jaci Eastman, Amanda’s governess. Your brother is resting comfortably, but we did move him to the study. If you would like to see him, I’m sure he’s awake. Even if he isn’t, see him anyway, because he should be awake. Selkirk can show you the way.”
Cameron looked quite startled that anyone would speak about his brother that way. She figured she would have to explain her behavior eventually, knowing the younger brother had no idea what the household staff had been through during the past month.
“I need to put Amanda down for a nap. You are welcome to speak with your brother, and I shall see you at dinner.” As Amanda clung to her neck, she realized she looked forward to setting Cameron Westbrooke down and explaining quite a few things to the errant young man.
Chapter Fourteen
Nicholas heard Jaci’s comments, since no one saw fit to close his door and allow him any privacy. His life was no longer his own, and Cameron’s appearance only confirmed that. They needn’t have summoned Cameron. During all their years growing up, and even after they reached adulthood, Nicholas had been the one to fix things, not Cam. What was his younger brother supposed to do now except make Nicholas feel more guilty at the idea of having another person around whom he couldn’t support?
“Nicholas?” The timid query came from near the door, and Nicholas’s heart ached at the sound of that voice.
His eyes stung and his arms longed to clasp his brother close. Still, he feigned sleep when Cameron whispered his name, because he couldn’t force himself to face the little brother who had always looked up to him.
At least in this instance, someone gave him a little respect. The door closed quietly and he was left alone again.
* * *
Nicholas might have known his peace wouldn’t last. Instead of Jaci bringing him breakfast as she had done practically every day since his accident, this morning Cameron hoisted the tray. With the efficiency of a military sergeant, Cam deposited the tray on the table by the bed, marched to the curtains and flung them open, and turned to face Nicholas, hands on hips. He squinted against the bright sunshine.
“My God, man, you look horrendous.” Whereas last night Cameron’s voice had Nicholas longing for his attention, this morning he could as well do without his false cheerfulness.
“Close the curtain, Cam.”
“No; can’t be done. Miss Eastman says sunshine is good for the soul.”
Nicholas groaned. Did everyone on this entire earth quote Jaci Eastman? Of course they did; he’d been hearing it for weeks.
Cameron sauntered back towards the bed, catching up the breakfast tray. “Here, scoot yourself up so you can eat this while it’s hot. I brought two cups; thought I’d join you for a cup of coffee.”
Nicholas raised a brow and started to argue, but knowing he hadn’t won in more days than he could count, decided against it. Besides, the aromas coming from the covered dish were too tempting. Using the strength of his arms, he pulled against the headboard, dragging his body into a more upright position.
Cameron set the tray in his lap, grabbed a cup and poured them both coffee, before sitting in a side chair and propping his booted feet on the bed.
“Are you quite comfortable?” Nicholas groused.
“Actually, no, I would be more comfortable at the breakfast table. But since you’re in here and refuse to come out, I guess this will do — for awhile.” Cameron never looked at Nicholas the whole time he was talking, and Nicholas wondered where he got the bravado to speak so. Cameron had always been quiet; not shy, exactly — just not aggressive.
He decided his brother’s comments didn’t warrant a response, at least not until he ate. Regardless of his outlook on life at the moment, he couldn’t resist Delta’s cooking.
After he had appeased the worst of his appetite, he asked around a mouthful of eggs and ham. “Why aren’t you at the shipyards?”
“You know we have effective managers in place. The last two years have even shown a profit.” Cameron hesitated. “I only spend my time there to...forget.”
Even through his own pain, Nicholas understood Cameron’s inability to cope with the loss of Sarah, his wife. Still, it made him feel more of a cripple, knowing that Cameron had only come home because Nicholas could no longer handle Wildwood. He scowled at the thought.
“Miss Eastman and I had quite a nice visit last evening over dinner.” Cameron changed the subject. “Wherever did you find her?”
“She more or less fell at my feet.” Nicholas replied sarcastically.
Cam sighed. “The women always did that around you. I don’t see why, especially considering your rather surly disposition and disheveled appearance.”
Nicholas finished chewing the eggs and ham before he answered. “If you came home simply to harass me, you can leave on the next ship out of harbor. I already get all the badgering I can take from the lowest servant right up to your inestimable Miss Eastman.”
Cameron set aside his cup and began pacing. A frown replaced the normal smile on his brother’s face. And still, Nicholas egged him on. “What’s this? The care-free, never responsible Cameron Westbrooke with a studious look upon his face. This must be dire.”
“Damn it, Nick, why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
Cameron’s hands gestured hopelessly. “Being obnoxious; a bore.” He paused. “Giving up.” His hands dropped to his sides and he stood there, looking at Nicholas with the same expression he had when their parents had died. Fix it, his gaze pleaded. You’re my big brother and you can make it all better.
Nicholas looked away, unable to answer. Did he have the strength to change? Did he have the courage?
* * *
“Uncle Nicholas?” The wo
rds were soft and tentative. When he turned his head to the door, he saw Amanda; eyes full of tears and a lip that trembled even as she tried to make it stop.
No matter what else in the world had gone awry, Amanda was surely not to blame, and Nicholas cursed himself for excluding her. Jaci’s words echoed in his head — She thinks the accident is her fault.
He opened his arms wide and without hesitation, Amanda raced across the huge room and flung herself at him. The poor child sobbed against his chest as he held her tight, soothing her with a stroke of his big hand to her back.
His catharsis was quieter, for it wasn’t manly to cry, but the tears silently coursing down his cheeks were nevertheless cleansing.
“Papa’s home.” She sniffled once she had cried herself out.
“So I’ve heard, Muffin. He did come to see me, you know.” He wiped her eyes with a corner of the sheet.
She wiggled around until she was seated cross-legged on the bed. Nicholas flinched when she accidentally kicked him with the toe of her shoe, and thought Mrs. Jeffrey would have a fit if she knew the youngster had her shoes on the bed. It made no difference, though, for in the joy surrounding the precocious five year old, nothing else mattered.
He had forgotten how much energy Amanda had and how happily she embraced life. As he watched her face light up over an explanation of Sir Lancelot and the kittens, “again”, she had said, he felt the tightness in his chest loosen and begin to fall away.
“At first, Papa wouldn’t let me go to the barn for the kittens. He said it was too cold and too far away and I was too little.” She made a face and gave a huge sigh.
“Aren’t the two of you getting along?”
She gave him a mournful look, her lips pursed as she shrugged her shoulders. “He doesn’t know how to play.”
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