* * *
“Lady, I told you to get out.”
Jaci smiled as she quietly locked the door. Nicholas called her Lady in that peculiar tone of voice when he was super mad; when Jaci, or even Miss Eastman, just didn’t convey his scorn at her interference.
“Nicholas, I can help you, if you will only let me.” She slowly approached the bed where he lay, pillows propped behind his back. She thought they had been making progress, but he looked so lost. A man who was used to being in control and active couldn’t confine his spirit to a bed. That fact was quite evident today.
His hair was in wild array; the curls at his nape and falling across his forehead much longer than fashionable. The bed covers were tangled, and she wondered if he fought battles even in his dreams.
She quietly set the overturned chair upright; further evidence that he had tried to get out of bed. She didn’t care if he dragged himself clear across the room. It meant he was trying, and that meant her assumptions were correct.
You would think he’d give up telling her to leave him alone, because she always ignored him. They had the same argument almost every afternoon when she entered his room. Why did nineteenth century men think they had to dominate everyone and everything? Why couldn’t they accept the fact that sometimes they needed someone else; as much as that someone needed them?
That was the crux of the matter. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed Nicholas, and had fallen in love with him. Her gaze came up and locked with stormy gray eyes.
The battle they fought always ended the same. He would tell her to get out; she would stay, wordlessly massaging his legs and exercising the muscles. He would glower at her, but she wouldn’t leave; and he wouldn’t admit that he liked having her there.
Now, she was tired of the stalemate, and decided to press the issue. Her feelings were mixed. She wanted him and felt, despite his verbal abuse, that he wanted her, too. What if she pushed him and he didn’t respond; or didn’t find her desirable enough to make the effort? She didn’t know what would hurt worse — her feminine ego, or his sense of manliness. She was willing to take the chance. Was it fair of her not to ask him to do the same?
Nicholas squirmed beneath her scrutiny. She gazed at him differently today. Something in her eyes, in her walk, signaled a change in her. “What mad scheme do you plan to torture me with today?” Although he wore trousers and a shirt, he still felt undressed beneath her green-eyed gaze.
Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t have felt the least bit embarrassed at having a beautiful woman alone in his bedchambers. Under normal circumstances, he would have been seducing her. But these were not normal times, and he was no longer a normal man.
He concentrated on her face, on the blonde hair hanging loosely around her shoulders. Her full lips curved into a smile as her gaze caught his.
“Let’s try something different today. Let me help you.” She unbuttoned his shirt, pulled it off and slid her hands under his shoulders. Heat shot through him, tingling his nerve endings and accelerating his breathing.
“I doubt this is a wise idea.” Why had his voice cracked?
“Of course it is. Since you’re not getting the exercise you need, we should be working on all your muscles, not just your legs.”
He protested. “I’ve been up every day, using my arms and hands to carve.”
“That’s not enough,” she stated, continuing to push him until he was on his stomach.
Rolling him over had put him in the middle of the bed, too far away for her to further aggravate him, Nicholas thought. He pushed himself up on his elbows as she pulled the pillows out from under him, curious as to what she would do now. He watched her frown in concentration, her gaze moving from the edge of the bed to him and back. Then she shrugged, kicked off her shoes, and climbed onto the bed beside him.
The bed bounced beneath their combined weights and his breathing quickened. “What in the name of all that’s holy are you doing?”
She giggled at him. “I would say that I’m trying to seduce you, but you might get frightened and run off. Let’s say I’m testing to see if your bed is softer than mine. I might want to oust you from the master chamber.”
“That’s not funny in the least.” The comment was muffled as her jiggling caused his elbows to slip and his face ended up flat against the mattress.
“What — the part about taking your bed?” She paused, her voice dropping to a husky whisper, “or the part about seducing you?”
He groaned and decided not to fight it, for her hands were already working their magic. Today, though, her fingers slowly moved down his neck and across his shoulders, instead of massaging his legs. Again and again her nimble fingers probed and squeezed his bunched muscles, gradually working down along his spine.
Nicholas was in agony. Never in his life had he wanted a woman as much as Jaci made him want her; and there was nothing to be done about it. Her hands did crazy things to his mind, making him imagine the wonder to be discovered in each other’s arms. As her hands scorched a path down his back, a deep ache began in his groin; or so he imagined.
His entire body jerked as she straddled his back. “Jaci,” the sound was a moan when he felt her heat through the thin cloth separating them.
“I can’t properly continue your therapy from your side. It’s not as comfortable.” The throaty whisper came close to his ear, followed by a soft gasp as her breasts came in contact with his bare back.
He felt her breathing increase, as did his, and he was afraid to move for fear the ecstasy would go away. He wondered if she had any idea what she was doing to him. His answer came with her whispered plea.
“Nicholas, I need you. I want you.” Incredibly sweet kisses began behind his ear. Her hot lips traced a path along his neck to his shoulder before trailing down his bare back.
Her chest continued to press against his back and her buttocks slid further down his body. Tears formed as he tried to find the words to deny her something they both wanted. Why was she doing this to him; why was she tormenting him?
Suddenly angry at his inability to be a man, he pushed himself over, toppling her onto the bed beside him. Keeping his back to her, he tried to control his voice as he spoke.
“If you are, for some unknown reason, trying to humiliate me, you have succeeded quite well, Miss Eastman.” He felt the bed move as she righted herself. He jerked his arm away from her touch.
“No; you have it wrong. Why would I—”
“You know I am only half a man. Why would you purposely try to seduce me?” His voice and mind accused her, even though he desperately wanted what she offered.
This time she practically screamed. “No, that’s not true!”
He flopped onto his back, turning his head to pin her with an icy stare. “I have no feelings in my legs, for God’s sake.”
Regardless of his tone of voice, it appeared she wouldn’t relent. She knelt on the bed beside him, but didn’t physically touch him as she spoke. Instead, her gaze caressed him, and her sultry words wove a web of seduction around them.
“Nicholas, it’s your legs that don’t work, not your entire body. I know you have feelings — feelings a man has for a woman. Why would you deny yourself?” She slid her fingers to the tiny buttons at her throat, slowly undoing one after the other as her words continued.
“You have done something to me. I can’t define it, but I want it to continue. When I’m around you, I get these funny feelings — here,” she slid her palms over her breasts, and Nicholas swore he saw her nipples peak, “—and here.” Her hands slid to where the core of her womanhood lay beneath the layers of clothing.
He stared, mouth dry, as her fingers went back to unbuttoning, revealing a lacy camisole beneath the bright fabric of her dress. Hot streaks of pleasure-pain shot from his chest to his lower abdomen. He glanced down to find his body reacting hot and strong to her essence. It hadn’t been his imagination. He closed his eyes, still unsure of his ability to please a woman witho
ut the use of his legs.
“I...can’t...make love to you.” It was an anguished whisper.
“Then let me make love to you.”
His eyes flew open, settling on her full breasts, revealed beneath her open blouse and the thin silk of her camisole. Feeling as if he floated in a dream, Nicholas reached up to lightly trace the lacy edge of the fabric. She inhaled sharply at his touch, but she didn’t back off. Instead, she bent closer, allowing him a clear view of her breasts.
Passion burst rapidly as he pulled her into his arms, his fingers twining in her hair. Hungrily, his mouth found hers, forcing her lips apart as his tongue invaded to taste her sweetness. She moaned in response, deepening the kiss. Frantic that time would run out before she knew him completely, her hands slid over his chest, firm beneath her fingers and coarse with hair.
Reluctantly releasing his mouth, she followed the curve of his chin, dropping kisses as she went. She paused at his throat, feeling the erratic beat of his pulse, pounding in rhythm with her own. As his hands caressed her back, she licked his flat nipple until it became a hard pebble against her tongue.
She knew a certain exhilaration as her hand slid beneath the loose band of his trousers to the smooth, taut skin of his hips. She felt wild — free of the restraints that had always kept her from wanting to feel like a woman. Her heart raced as Nicholas groaned.
She was positive now that her effect on him was exactly what he did to her. As he continued to caress her back, she felt loved, and cherished.
Nicholas’s desire rose to the breaking point. He wished she were naked, so she could feel his lips on her skin the same way her lips branded him. Incredibly, by allowing her to be the aggressor, his senses were heightened to the point where he was sure he felt fire clear down to his toes.
She moved quickly out of his arms and he opened his eyes to see her standing, right in the middle of his bed. He searched her face, hoping he would not see regret. Instead, her green eyes twinkled as she slowly removed her blouse and camisole, exposing creamy skin to his view. He struggled to sit up, his palms itching to feel the skin she exposed.
She stepped out of reach, shaking her head as her lips curved into a sensuous smile. “Lie back, Nicholas. Remember, I’m in charge.”
He expelled a ragged breath, but did as she asked. His gaze followed her as she unbuttoned her skirt, letting it drop to the coverlet along with her petticoats. Sure that he would die before she finished, his breath caught as the ties to her pantalets came undone. He tried to swallow around the lump in his throat when she boldly slid the white cotton down over slim hips, first revealing a flat stomach, then the dark triangle of her womanhood.
She got in a hurry when it came to his trousers, quickly sliding them down his legs and tossing them to the floor. He didn’t mind at all. Dropping to her knees beside him, she rubbed her breasts against the coarse texture of his chest as she began kissing her way back to his chin.
He grabbed her arms, dragging her up the length of him until his lips captured hers, reveling in the pleasure she caused. Every place their bodies touched, fire ignited, racing along nerve endings until he thought he would be consumed in the blaze.
She arched her back and he greedily took what she offered, sucking one rosy nipple into his mouth while his hand gently caressed the other. Her moans told him what he wanted to know. As he transferred his attentions to the other breast, she spread her legs, straddling his hips and pushing back until her buttocks rubbed against his manhood. His moans immediately mingled with hers.
Unable to deny either of them the passion that had been ignited, he lifted her, slowly bringing her down on him until their hips again touched. She arched her back, sitting erect, causing him to plunge deep within her. Her gasp vibrated the still air.
He was enraptured with the beauty that had taken him by storm, refusing to leave him alone until thoughts of her consumed him. He focused on the rise and fall of her breasts as she moved. She brought her hands up to the nape of her neck, then higher, causing her honey blonde hair to pile atop her head, then tendrils cascaded down, giving her a totally wanton look. The movement caused her nipples to jut outward, begging for his touch. He reached up, capturing the pert tips between his thumb and forefinger. As she began to move her hips up and down, he surrendered completely to her sweet seduction, reveling in the hot pressure deep in his groin.
Nicholas’s hands on her breasts shot currents of fire through Jaci, pooling in a hot core in the center of her being. As she increased the rhythm of her hips, she marveled at the feeling of oneness that the act of making love created. Although he couldn’t lift his hips off the bed, they were in perfect rhythm.
The contractions began deep within her and surged so strong and so quickly she panicked. She opened her eyes, not wanting to climax before him. He met her gaze straight on, delving within her to her very soul. She couldn’t give voice to her thought, for emotion choked her, but he sensed her need.
“Now, sweetness.” He grabbed her hips, lifting her faster, increasing the friction between them.
Her cries mingled with his as together they flew to the highest peak where there were no physical limitations; there were only incredible feelings. Tingling sensations raced along her spine, down her legs to her toes, causing her to jerk against him.
She collapsed against his chest, not wanting the feelings to end. She kissed the dampness away at his throat. She reached up, trailing a finger across his closed eyes before tracing the outline of his lips. She looked at him in question when his hands gently touched her shoulders as though he were trying to push her away.
“Am I too heavy for you?” she teased, not wanting to give up her comfortable position nor the wonder of having him still inside her.
“No. It’s just that...” He hesitated.
She felt suddenly embarrassed, lying naked on top a man, especially when she thought back to how brazen she had been to seduce him. Rolling over, she gathered her clothes to dress. To say that she was confused would be an understatement. She would have to get away from him in order to properly think through what had happened.
Nicholas was having a hard time reconciling his current emotional state. Sated passion, something he thought never to feel again, warred with his inability to provide what every woman wanted — a strong, fit man. He knew he wasn’t reacting as he should, yet couldn’t help himself. When Jaci moved to dress, he had to wonder if she regretted what had taken place. Foreboding thoughts caused him to lash out in anger.
“Is it your habit to give yourself so freely to a man?” He knew his sarcasm stung because she stiffened, but refused to look at him as she continued to dress.
“It is normally considered that a woman will save herself for the marriage bed,” he added, his shattered ego taunting her.
She finally looked at him, anger flashing deep in her gaze. “But, of course, you would use that nineteenth century male logic on me. Does that mean you’re asking me to marry you?”
“Of course not.” Although denial immediately leaped to his tongue, he contemplated the idea as he watched her finish fastening her skirt. A sudden thought struck him. “Marriage may not be a bad idea, since you may already be impregnated. It wouldn’t have to be forever. After the birth of my child, you can continue with your own life — go back to where you’re from. I shall even pay you for your services.”
She jerked as though he had slapped her. “You bastard. You’re no better than any other man I’ve met. You all think what you offer is so wonderful.”
Nicholas saw tears well up, but she continued to yell at him. “Well, let me tell you something — I don’t need you. There is more to life than sewing, cooking, and being a brood mare.” She spun around, racing for the door, never once glancing back at him.
He watched her flee, feeling like the bastard she labeled him. Why had he acted like such an incredible heel? In the darkest corner of his mind, he knew why. The thought of her making love to him out of pity was impossible to bear. So he had s
hamed her, turning the beautiful rapture they had shared into something sordid.
He fell back against the pillows, berating himself. The jovial attitude he had always had; that which had even carried him through his parents’ deaths; had deserted him after the accident. For months, all he wanted to do was stay in that gray world which was totally void of feelings because it blocked his heart against disappointment.
But no, Jaci would have none of it. She had brought Cameron back; had forced Nicholas to face his limitations, and had even beset him with Amanda, who was impossible to resist.
Damn her! She had made him start feeling again.
He covered his eyes with one arm, trying to blot out the image of her body on his. No amount of concentration erased the ache he felt as he remembered the touch of her hands; the butterfly soft kisses she bestowed over his entire body.
Chapter Sixteen
Several days passed, and Nicholas didn’t see Jaci at all. He knew she shunned him because of his cruel words, and he didn’t blame her. He had done a lot of soul searching and chastised himself mightily for his self-pity. Now, as he gazed out the window from his lonely bed, he hoped he had an opportunity to tell her how wrong he had been.
A commotion at the door brought his attention around as Jaci appeared in his bedroom, followed by Tom and Sam, two of his stable boys. They carried a wood contraption consisting of two parallel bars attached about three feet above a flat base.
As he sat in stunned silence, she ignored him completely, instead motioning the boys over to the foot of the bed. He wondered what she had in mind to torture him with today.
“Put it right here, if you please. That’s fine. Thank you for your help.” She gave the two boys a gracious smile, quietly dismissing them.
They looked skeptically from her to Nicholas, but he simply shrugged. He had no more idea than they as to what she intended. He glanced from the contraption to her, aware for the first time of the strange attire she wore, some of which looked suspiciously like his.
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