by Rachel Jonas
There was this way my father used to stare at my mom. It was a look that said more than any words ever could, because there were no words that could ever contain it. And as I sat beside Levi on that swing, that very look was present, set in stone.
My head went to his shoulder and I gazed around at the expanse of Glenn’s property. It was so peaceful out here, and the already breathtaking scenery was accentuated by his offbeat artwork. I imagined it got lonely out here, and boring at times, which probably accounted for why there were so many pieces. Yet, whatever his motivation, he’d created something uniquely beautiful.
If only that beauty had allowed me to suspend reality just a little while longer. Instead, I was hurled back into my previous concerns about Aaric, sensing doubt as it crept in uninvited.
“Maybe I’m wrong,” I hesitated to admit. “If Aaric had been here, he wouldn’t have left us unharmed.” From my experience, he wasn’t the type to be content observing from afar. If he managed to find us after our escape, there would have been hell to pay.
“Can’t argue with you there,” Levi agreed.
His stare persisted, maybe noticing how I zoned out again. My knee swayed when he nudged it with his own.
“You okay?” he asked. “Seems like something else might be bothering you.”
Of course he could tell.
“I’ve been dreaming about him,” I blurted, owning a truth I still hadn’t accepted myself. “They’re hazy, and weird, but … intense.”
Levi’s brow quirked at that word. “Are they nightmares?”
A breath filled my lungs and I sifted through the thoughts that came. “It depends on your definition,” I began. “He’s never violent in them, if that’s what you mean. He’s just … there.”
It seemed wise to omit how most of the encounters Aaric and I had while I was unconscious were heated, sensual exchanges—a blend of unexpected passion, and the fiery intensity I experienced when his anger brimmed. Mostly, I didn’t share this detail because it would have been confusing to hear. Only I knew how, despite my struggle to keep Aaric off my mind by day, he often owned my thoughts at night.
“The bond is powerful,” Levi acknowledged, stealing the words straight from my head.
“It is, but the dreams are kind of disturbing. Honestly, I’m a little uncomfortable even discussing them,” I confessed. “I just wanted to point out that maybe … I don’t know, I was wrong and a dream just carried over into reality.”
Levi’s hand settled on my knee and he offered a comforting smile. The thought crossed my mind that maybe, on some level at least, he knew there was more to these experiences than I shared.
“And what about his trait?” Levi inquired. “You took on a bit of both Julian and myself after the Claiming. Have you noticed a change since Aaric … ”
His voice trailed off before finishing the question.
My gaze lowered to the weathered slats of the porch. “I haven’t noticed anything,” I replied, shaking my head.
He wouldn’t have known this, but that frightened me. Certain aspects of my circumstances with Aaric seemed a bit different. Or, perhaps what frightened me more, was the idea of there not being a notable change because, to a degree … maybe I was more like that monster than I realized. Maybe at his core, maybe at mine … we were one and the same.
“Your world can be so weird and confusing,” I sighed, glancing over when Levi chuckled softly.
“I get the sense that yours kind of is, too.”
He wasn’t wrong about that.
Shifting in my seat, my foot nudged the bag sitting beside me. The one Glenn had thoughtfully packed. He mentioned a book he’d given me, and considering how interesting I found his collection when I snooped, I was dying to know which he thought I’d enjoy.
Levi watched as I unzipped the largest compartment and stuck my hand inside. The first things I came across were a blanket, more of the veggies from the garden, and then my fingertips brushed over the rough material of an old binding. After pulling it free, I scanned the cover, the title. I knew right away that he hadn’t parted with one that had been banned, but that was probably for the best. The punishment for an Ianite caught with an illegal book was bad enough, but the punishment for a human was far harsher.
That nostalgic aroma filled my senses the moment I opened it. It reminded me of when my mother would read me to sleep, or when I’d sneak into her room and peek at the old romance novels she kept on hand. For a moment, as I turned the pages, it was like she was sitting right there with me.
“Is it a good one?”
I’d drifted so deep into the memory, that the sound of Levi’s voice actually startled me.
“I haven’t heard of it,” I answered. “But Glenn says it gets good around the third chapter.”
Intent on scanning the first few words to see what there was to look forward to, I turned there, but the words I discovered hadn’t been placed there by a printing press.
They were handwritten.
Levi took notice and leaned in, seemingly just as curious as I was.
“Always trust Miles,” he read aloud, reciting Glenn’s words.
I was confused. “Miles? As in … his rabbit?”
A shrug was Levi’s first reaction. “That man always did put more stock in animals than he did in people, so … there’s that.”
This still didn’t make sense. I was certain Levi had just cast it off as another of Glenn’s insane rantings, but I hadn’t gotten that impression from him at all. Was he eccentric? Yes. Very. But not once did I get a senile vibe, making this message even stranger to come across now.
“I suppose we’ll never know what the old man meant,” Levi concluded as I placed the book back inside my bag. “But what I am certain of … is that we’re not alone anymore.”
My heart began to throb inside my chest as it raced, and my gaze darted in every direction, thinking the worst—that Aaric and his followers had come for us.
Levi laughed quietly, and I wasn’t sure how to read him. “Relax, Love. There’s just a vehicle on the property. Our ride, I presume”
Now, my heart raced for a very different reason. “You really think it’s them?” I piped. “Julian and Silas?”
Levi’s confident nod made hope and worry both spike within me. Peering up, I looked toward the narrow path that wove through the greenery. It seemed to serve as a driveway of sorts, or perhaps just a road that ended here, at Glenn’s doorstep.
Ended here, where Levi and I now stood waiting as the vehicle he heard from a distance was fast approaching.
Anxious, I wrung my hands together, doing everything I could to keep from bolting off that porch and straight toward Julian. Mostly because I wasn’t sure how he’d receive me, which sucked because … I really missed him.
I’d reached a stalemate within myself—one half longing to run toward him, feet pounding the ground; the other half frozen in place for fear of rejection. They were so close now, he and Silas. I found myself wishing I could see through the tinted glass of the windshield.
The engine continued to run as the driver-side door flung open. And then … there he was. Like a breath of fresh air after drowning in the longing I felt for so long.
It had slipped my memory that he was so handsome. Those faded pictures in my thoughts didn’t do any justice to seeing him before my eyes, in living color. The wide grin he wore made my heart skip a beat with the realization that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t hate me after all. Perhaps I wasn’t the only one who’d been dreaming about this reunion.
A nudge from Levi’s elbow called my attention to him for a moment. When I peered up to meet his gaze, my vision was met with that cheeky grin that said so much.
“Well, aren’t you going to go to him?” he asked, catching me off guard. They’d spoken of there being no jealousy between them where this bond was concerned, but this was one of the first instances where I had seen that selflessness in action.
Levi lifted his gaze toward Julian aga
in, and I did the same. My heart thundered inside my chest as the distance between us disappeared. It had only been a matter of weeks since I left, but, honestly? It felt like much longer than that.
Somehow, the connection between us, if I wasn’t mistaken, had grown even while we were apart. It was as if the thread that bound us had been reinforced over time. The longing I felt for him had been like a gaping hole inside my chest, leaving me to regret the way I left. Although, given the chance to do it all over again, for my team, my family, I wouldn’t have hesitated.
This had been a precarious situation, more so now that I felt a near-equal pull to stay and leave.
Julian took several more steps toward me, so close now I could read his expression, the lack of anger within it. Suddenly, I was on the move too, and a few tears sort of came out of nowhere, touching my cheek briefly before I swiped them away. They cooled in the breeze as I picked up speed, racing full-steam ahead until I reached him. That’s when I finally breathed, when he swept me into his arms, holding me against his broad chest. Pressing kisses into my hair, he squeezed me tightly as my eyes fell closed.
This.
This was what I was missing.
“Silas and I looked all over,” he breathed. “We tried everything we could think of to get you both back, but there was just one dead end after the next.” The emotion in his voice was stifling, raw.
I’d never felt like this before. Not for one man, let alone for two at the same time, but it was such a pure feeling, and I craved it like a drug. Deep down, I knew exactly what to call it, but I wouldn’t dare.
“I should have done things differently.” Breathing those words against his neck, I was drawn closer. “You won’t understand why I did what I did, but—”
“You don’t have to explain,” he insisted. “We didn’t understand at first, but … we get it. Things will be different.” Those words left me feeling undone, like I’d stepped into some sort of alternate universe where such a reckless move—one I was sure inconvenienced him greatly—would be so easily understood.
So easily forgiven.
Footsteps approached from the right when Levi came close, prompting Silas to step forward as well. I peered up at him now. The bond I shared with the others didn’t exist between he and I yet, which made things between us so interesting. Levi and Julian had reason to rally for my safety, but not Silas. He’d come to my rescue, or taken up for me, on more than one occasion. And now, according to Julian, he’d been at this search with him every step of the way.
That meant everything to me.
Two silver stares were locked on me when I released Julian, stepping closer to Silas now. He seemed confused as I approached, but when my arms looped around his neck, I guessed that cleared things up a bit.
“Thank you,” I muttered, meaning the words with everything in me. From the beginning, he’d been one-hundred-percent genuine, and everything he’d done for me, everything he’d done for his Dynasty Brothers, had been out of the goodness of his heart.
“You’re more than welcome,” he replied with a lighthearted quality to his voice that made me smile. “We’re just glad you’re back with us, and safe.”
He was such a peculiar guy, and I liked that he sort of came with all his cards already out on the table.
“You have no idea how good it is to lay eyes on you two pricks.” Levi greeted the others with a laugh as I moved aside. He stepped forward and brought both the guys into a rough hug.
“It’s been dull without you around, Brother,” Julian teased. “Suddenly, I’ve got an overstock of scotch and my staff are bored not having you around to run them ragged with your outrageous demands.” It was impossible not to feel the love between them.
A moment of solemnity crept in when Julian looked Levi in the eyes.
“Thank you,” he breathed. “For keeping her safe while you two were away, for going after her when you did.”
Hearing him, I wondered if my concern had been completely unwarranted. From the way he spoke, he had never been angry. Only worried.
“Honestly, I had less to do with keeping her safe than you might think.” Levi met my gaze for a moment. “Not sure you’ve noticed yet, but our girl definitely holds her own.”
Levi’s hand settled at the small of my back, slightly below Julian’s. Hearing him express what he thought of me, my heart warmed just a little. Not so much because of his compliment, but being referred to in such an affectionate way.
‘Their girl’.
The idea of belonging to anyone was never something I imagined I’d welcome, but the way my heart fluttered for them spoke volumes about how things had changed.
Someway, somehow, our paths had been meant to cross, and everything that happened up to this point was pertinent to my purpose. There was also a powerful feeling in my gut.
It told me that, one day soon, I’d finally understand.
Chapter Ten
Corina
The ride home was interesting for several reasons. It began with Levi and I doing our best to explain how we’d been captured, where we’d been held, and why Julian and Silas had such a hard time locating us. Yet, once we got past explaining very little about Aaric, his followers, and their use of Blackthorn, Silas seemed to sense that I didn’t exactly want to venture down that road much further.
Not so soon, anyway.
His suggestion was that Julian hold off on his questions and allow me a chance to get my bearings—a proposition for which I was beyond grateful. He’d acted mere seconds before I would’ve been backed into a corner, forced to reveal what Aaric had done. In time, Levi or I would share those details, but I didn’t want to think about that right now.
“Any word from Roman,” Levi asked from the backseat.
There was a stifling silence that followed the question, which hinted toward the answer long before one was given.
“No,” Silas revealed solemnly. “We’ve tried calling, texting, visiting some of his favorite haunts in the Eastern Quadrant. Nothing but a bunch of cold leads.”
I put myself in his and Julian’s place, imagining how running into brick walls while searching for us all must have been frustrating beyond belief.
Levi breathed in and released a heavy sigh, one filled with concern I didn’t miss. “Hopefully this just means he’s taking some time to think, to wrap his mind around what needs to be done,” he concluded.
Discovering that they still hadn’t spoken to Roman—the loose cannon—was unsettling. Although, I didn’t say so out loud. It wasn’t my own skin I was thinking about at the moment. It was the princes’. If Roman was considering blowing this whole plan apart, the brunt of the fallout would be aimed at them.
“Otherwise, have things around the palace settled?” was Levi’s next question, and at first, I wasn’t sure what sort of response he sought.
Julian passed him a glance through the rearview mirror. “Things have mostly returned to normal,” he revealed. “Aside from being a few staff members short—between the one guard who was injured, and those who have decided to take a personal leave—we’re fully functional.”
Oh … now I get it. This is about the mess I caused. The one Julian was left to clean up and deal with.
Honestly, I wouldn’t have been surprised to discover a lynch mob awaiting my return, ready to make me pay for the trouble I caused them.
Embarrassment washed over me, but, again, that inkling not to apologize for leaving rose within me. I couldn’t regret trying to get to my team. Especially seeing as how I’d been made to keep my distance from them against my will.
However, I still felt like a tool for pretending whatever hardship Julian had faced alone hadn’t been on me.
“Listen, about that,” I began. “I didn’t mean to make things harder on you than they already were. I just—”
“I already told you,” Julian cut in, “we’re moving forward. You don’t owe me an apology or anything else.”
That tenderness I’d seen in his eyes
the first time I tried to explain returned then, and I still hadn’t figured out how to read it. Still, I definitely felt like I was missing something. Some larger part of the picture that had shifted while I was away.
Revisiting all that had taken place over the last several weeks, I fell quiet then. It was strange how, before meeting the princes, I always thought my life was incredibly complicated. Who would’ve guessed I’d ever consider life as Blackbird simple by comparison?
Julian took his eyes off the road a moment, grasping my hand before he faced forward again.
“I know nothing can make up for what you two have been through,” he admitted, “but I’ve got a surprise waiting for you at the palace. Something I think comes pretty close.”
The statement had been meant for me, and it only further added to my confusion. When I responded with a smile, it was a weak one, but I honestly did wonder what he could possibly think would ‘make up’ for that ordeal.
Short of a time machine, that is.
“There has been one significant change I forgot to mention,” Julian added, piquing my interest.
“Do tell,” Levi replied hesitantly. My guess was he’d had enough of the backhanded surprises life had thrown him lately too.
“Mother’s returned.” When those two words left Julian’s mouth, I nearly cursed out loud, but caught myself in time to mumble it under my breath.
“And?” Levi pressed. “Any word on where she’s been all this time?”
From the corner of my eye, not wanting to draw much attention from Julian as my suspicions grew, I listened intently.
“No,” Julian sighed. “She merely insists she would have returned sooner if her responsibilities to the Dynasty had permitted.”
There was no missing the animosity with which Julian spoke. I imagined that, in his mother’s absence, he’d grown somewhat bitter as the trials he faced only became increasingly more difficult. From what I knew of his relationship with his father, the man was only happy when Julian kept to the short leash he’d placed around his neck. With how things played out in recent weeks, I witnessed for myself how their bond had been tested.