by Lily Harlem
“Would you mind,” I said, “if I absent myself?” I took hold of Gabe’s hand. “I’m completely done in; all I can think of is sleep.”
Gabe frowned a little.
I knew it was a bit rude, but I just couldn’t help it. I’d hit the wall—the sleep wall.
“Are you okay?” Gabe asked.
“Yes, fine, just you know…” I flapped my hand in front of my face. He’d know by that gesture that the drink and the long day had gotten to me.
Brent shut the dishwasher door. “Please, do whatever you must, my home is your home and I don’t stand on ceremony.” He smiled. “If you’re tired then please, don’t feel you have to stay awake on my account.”
“Well, if you’re sure,” I said, thoughts of sinking my head into the soft pillows on the four-poster bed tempting me further.
“I can hardly even begin to imagine how busy your week must have been,” Brent said.
I sighed. “Yes, it has been a bit like that. Okay. I’ll head upstairs.” I stood then walked up to Brent and place a light kiss on his cheek.
His facial hair scratched my lips and he smelled of citrus aftershave—melon and lime, perhaps.
“Thank you for a wonderful afternoon and meal.”
“You are more than welcome.” He rested his hand on my shoulder, his palm hot and heavy. “Anything you need, help yourself.”
I smiled and turned to Gabe. “See you when you come up.”
“Yes, I doubt it will be late.”
I headed up the stairs, enjoying the vast space and the family portraits that were dotted around.
The sun had completely left the side of the house the guest suite was situated on so I pulled the curtains closed, brushed my teeth and after stripping to just my knickers, flopped on the bed.
My head spun a little. I wasn’t drunk, just tipsy and tired and feeling completely satisfied. My body was heavy and drained and it was a pleasant sensation.
I closed my eyes and allowed a barrage of thoughts to float through my brain.
Gabe’s tongue between my legs in the shower. Fuck, I’d come so wonderfully.
Me fingering his ass and holding his cock as he came, his shaft pumping out his release.
Brent bending a little, so I could kiss his cheek, with his hand on my shoulder. I’d kissed many men on the cheek in social situations but somehow, that kiss, breathing in his aftershave and him touching me, it had felt more intimate than under normal circumstances.
I wondered what he’d be like in bed. It wasn’t a thought that generally went through my mind because other men’s between-the-sheets skills didn’t interest me.
But Brent Dawson’s did.
Would he be the same with a man as he was with a woman? Would he have a different style, rhythm, level of passion, depending on which gender he was with?
I imagined him naked, his long body tanned, sleek and shiny with sweat. In my mind’s eye Gabe stood next to him, his cock erect and eager. Brent’s hand sliding over Gabe’s ass cheeks, just out of my view, and Gabe’s mouth falling open as he was finger penetrated, the way it had been when I’d inserted the dildo.
Brent was gesturing with his hand, wanting me to go to them.
I did, my legs light and a white negligee floating around my ass and tickling my thighs.
I took Gabe’s cock in my hand, and then Brent’s and began to work their erections to full hardness. Gabe kissed me. Brent kissed me. Our tongues tangled.
An orgasm was heading toward me. I was panting, my pussy contracted and heat nestled between my thighs.
I sat bolt upright and blinked in the blackness of the bedroom. My thoughts had turned into a dream, a real but fantastical dream. My heart was pounding and my nipples straining. I parted my lips and peeled my tongue from the roof of my mouth.
Damn, I needed a glass of water.
I glanced at the digital clock. The neon green told me it had just gone midnight. I’d been asleep for a couple of hours at least.
No wonder I was dry, I should have brought water to the room.
I knew instinctively, even in the darkness, that I was alone, that Gabe had yet to join me.
I twisted and dropped my legs over the edge of the bed. It was higher than mine and I stumbled slightly as my feet hit the floor.
“Bugger,” I muttered. I rooted around in my bag and found the robe I always traveled with because it was made of black satin and folded into nothing.
I pulled it on, glad of the layer of warmth. I had to have fluid. If I didn’t I’d pay the price tomorrow, of that I was certain. A pounding head was not something I wanted in my future.
The landing was silent and only the dull amber glow of a lamp in the downstairs hall lit the way. I clutched the banister, silently descended then went to the kitchen.
I wondered where Gabe and Brent had got to—perhaps they were talking shop, discussing legalities or business structure. Maybe even going over Brent’s case again.
A flashback from my dream filled the darkness before me and I shook my head.
I had to get a grip.
Of course they wouldn’t be getting frisky in some dark corner.
I was ridiculous.
I went into the kitchen, filled a tumbler, drank deep, then refilled.
The view from the window called to me. The moon was out and its silvery glow reflected off the damp grass, each mowed line on the lawn sparkling. It was a perfectly clear night and the temperature had dropped.
A small buttery square stretched out to my left. It was light from a room farther on from the kitchen spilling into the garden
After setting down my drink, I went to investigate. Chances were that’s where Gabe and Brent had ended up, likely having a nightcap.
It was probably time to entice Gabe to bed, he’d have a hangover otherwise and he had the drive back to London to contend with tomorrow.
Behind the pantry was a door that led to a narrow corridor. I slowly made my way along it, sliding my palm silently on the wall as it was so dark.
I could hear the low murmur of voices, the men talking quietly, and the scent of burning logs filtered toward me.
I smiled, Gabe and his new best friend were certainly talkative when they got together, they’d obviously got cold too, hence the fire.
There were several doorways but the first one I came to was half open. I paused, my hand on the frame, and peered in.
Sure enough a fire glowed in a grate, and above it a mantel held three tall candlesticks, all lit, in silver holders.
There were two cracked-leather chairs angled toward each other.
Gabe sat in the left, Brent in the right.
I paused.
Stopped.
Held my breath.
There was something so intimate about the scene, the way they were close but not, how their body language mirrored the other—legs crossed, hand gripping a crystal tumbler—that had me hesitating.
“Tell me, what was Samuel like?” Gabe asked, his voice quiet and gentle.
I’d wondered what Samuel was like too.
“Why do you want to know?” Brent asked, swilling his drink around the sides of his glass.
I’d guess it was whiskey from the color but it could be brandy.
Gabe shrugged. “If your relationship with him comes up in court I don’t want to be caught on the back foot.”
“Okay, what do you want to know?” Brent shrugged.
“What did he do for a living? How did you meet?”
“He studied business like me but he took that into the sports world rather than buying and selling property.”
“Oh, he was sporty then?” Gabe took a sip of his drink.
“Yes, very. Athletic.” Brent kind of laughed. “Fit. He ran marathons.”
There was a pause. I lowered my hand and opened my mouth, preparing to announce my presence.”
“And you loved him?” Gabe asked.
I stilled. My jaw tightened and my heart thudded. I could hear my pulse in my
ears. It was so quiet it was a wonder they couldn’t hear it too.
“Love him.” Brent let out a small huff. “What do you think, Gabe?”
“I think you did.”
“You think right.” Brent bobbed his foot in the air and shrugged. “I loved him very much, with everything that I was.”
“So how come you didn’t stay with him?” Gabe asked. “Why did you marry Nadia if you were in love with someone else?” He shook his head like he just didn’t get it.
Brent didn’t reply.
Gabe spoke again. “Is it because you were embarrassed?”
“Embarrassed about what?”
“Being gay?”
“I’m not gay.”
“Oh, well, you know, bisexual.”
My stomach tightened as Gabe said the word that had been on my lips every time I’d seen Brent that day.
“No, not at all,” Brent said. “I told you before, it’s the way I’m wired. I see the person not the gender, being bi is just how it is for me, and hell, it’s the best way to be.”
“So you loved Nadia more than Samuel? Is that why you married her?” Again Gabe sipped his drink.
“That’s partly it.” Brent rolled his shoulders.
He clearly wasn’t uncomfortable with the conversation. He was as relaxed as he had been when I first looked in on them.
“And, what else?’ Gabe asked.
“Samuel wasn’t ready to tell the world his lover was a man. He asked me to wait for him, years before, at uni. I said I would but no one lives forever. I reached a point where I’d met someone I wanted to be with—Nadia—and I had to tell him. Give him an ultimatum it was have me now or I go permanently.” He shook his head and leaned farther forward, elbows on his knees and his face much closer to Gabe’s. “It wasn’t as simple as that, though. Samuel was working in a male-dominated world—rugby—and he believed the impact on his career would be too great. He couldn’t come out as wanting to be with a man, it would have been devastating for his career, or so he believed.”
Gabe frowned a little. “So he picked his job over you.”
“That’s about the long and the short of it, yes.” Brent sighed. “But it didn’t end up so bad, or at least not to start with.”
“What do you mean?”
“I loved Samuel but I loved Nadia too.”
“You loved them both at the same time?”
“Yes. Samuel and I went away together for a week before I proposed to Nadia. It was to say goodbye because I knew I’d never see him again, not once I was married, I just couldn’t trust myself to be around him and not rip his clothes off.” Brent paused. “Sorry, Gabe, you being het you probably don’t need to hear stuff like that.”
“Doesn’t bother me,” Gabe said with a nonchalant shrug.
I was watching Gabe in profile and as soon as he’d spoken I saw him swallow. What Brent had just said had affected him, but I suspected not in a bad way.
Brent shoved his hand through his hair. “While I was away that week I missed Nadia terribly. I loved Samuel, but I loved her too.” He huffed. “If only society was different, so many people could follow their hearts if you didn’t have to be so damn constrained all the time.”
Gabe tipped closer as though urging him to go on.
“If I could have chosen…” Brent said. “In an ideal world. I’d have had them both, Samuel and Nadia, and they would have got on, no jealousy, no animosity, they’d have been there for each other.”
“What, as lovers?”
“Yes, the human heart has lots of space for love and devotion. As long as everyone is honest, all manner of relationships work. It’s just us, our culture that says it’s one man, one woman.”
“More and more same-sex marriages are becoming commonplace,” Gabe said.
“Yes, and I applaud and support that, but will polygamy ever be accepted?”
“I can’t answer that, not as a lawyer or as a man.”
They were quiet for a moment, then Brent spoke. “You and Hayley seem very happy together.”
“Yes. We’re the lucky ones.”
“I’m pleased for you.” Brent paused. “She’s a beautiful, smart, sexy woman, a wife any man would be proud of.”
“I am proud of her…very.”
“She’d never do to you what Nadia has done to me.” Brent rubbed at his scratchy cheek again and the sandpapery sound of his palm creating friction reached me.
“No, she wouldn’t,” Gabe said. “Honesty is the foundation of our relationship.”
“It’s the best starting point.” Brent poured more whiskey. “And have you always been faithful to her?”
“Yes, of course.” Gabe took a sip of his drink. “I’d be crazy to risk losing the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
I smiled and hugged my arms around myself. It was time to let it be known that I was there.
“You should never risk losing something you love.” Brent leaned closer to Gabe. He had a wicked smile on his face. “But of course, you don’t need to be faithful in fantasies.”
I paused.
“That’s true.” Gabe set his drink aside.
“So who do you fantasize about?” Brent asked.
Gabe laughed quietly. “Honestly?”
Mmm, now I was curious. Very curious, I knew what I was doing was wrong, eavesdropping from the shadows like this, but I couldn’t help myself, my feet were harnessed to the floor and I was gripping the doorframe.
“Yeah, honestly,” Brent whispered. “Who do you honestly fantasize about?”
“Hayley,” Gabe said, his voice low and deep.
“Oh, come on, there must be an actress who yanks your chain.”
Gabe shook his head. “No.” He paused. “But there is someone.”
“Who?”
Gabe said nothing; he pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes.
I stepped back, gathering my robe into my fists, and held my breath.
I’d seen that look on my husband’s face before…
“Who?” Brent said again in barely a whisper. “Who do you fantasize about?”
“You,” Gabe said. “I’ve been fantasizing about you, Brent.”
Gabe tipped forward, wrapped his hand around the back of Brent’s neck, and drew their mouths together.
Chapter Nine
It was as though time had frozen. My heart was clattering but I didn’t need to breathe. All I could see, think about, focus on, was my husband kissing another man.
Gabe’s jaw worked gently, slowly, his temple joint indenting as the kiss deepened.
Their dark chins scratched together and their lips moved to a sumptuous rhythmic dance. They were sort of in silhouette, because of the fire, and I could make out tongue action, a slick of softness between them.
I released my breath.
My nipples were hard against my robe and pressed onto my forearms through the material. I’d hugged myself, almost as if holding my shock and my confusion inside.
No way could I reveal myself now.
Still they kissed. Exploring each other’s mouths. Gabe kept a hold of Brent—the way he did me on occasion—around the back of his neck. It was a firm, possessive grip and I knew damn well that it felt seriously sexy.
The kiss broke, as they pulled apart, for the briefest of moments, a thin thread of saliva held them together.
“Gabe,” Brent said, placing his hand over Gabe’s and taking his hand away from his nape.
“I’m sorry,” Gabe said. “It’s just…”
“You don’t have to explain,” Brent said, licking his lips.
Oh, yes he did. He’d just broken our marriage vows by kissing someone else, and not only that, he’d told me earlier he wasn’t interested in Brent, yet here he was, kissing the bloke and admitting he fantasized about him. There was definitely some explaining to do if honesty was the foundation of our relationship.
“Go to Hayley,” Brent said, placing Gabe’s hand on the arm of the chair and the
n sitting back and breaking all contact.
“I’m sorry, I really am, I—”
“Shh.” Brent shook his head. “I like you, Gabe. A lot.” He grinned. “And I liked kissing you even more, but I won’t come between a man and his wife. Not when you have so much going for you both.”
“I know you wouldn’t. And I don’t want you to. I love Hayley.” Gabe rested his palms on his cheeks. “Fuck. I don’t know what’s got into me lately.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. This doesn’t change anything between us. We’re still friends.” He knocked back the last of his drink. “Go to bed. Go to your wife. Everything will be fine in the morning.”
Gabe nodded. “Yes. You’re right and—”
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry again,” Brent interrupted. “Because I’m not. Like I said, I enjoyed kissing you but that’s all it was, a kiss.”
Gabe set down his drink and stood.
Quickly, I backed down the hall. Moving silently, I hurried across the kitchen, scooped up my glass of water then ran lightly up the stairs.
After shutting the bedroom door with the quietest of clicks, I placed the water down on the bedside locker and slipped beneath the covers. I turned away, toward the wall and drew up my legs.
Remembering I had the robe on, I hastily dragged it off and tossed it aside.
I’d just sunk my head onto the pillow and pulled up the cover when the door opened.
I shut my eyes and stilled completely.
The door shut.
The soft sound of Gabe’s feet on the carpet and the rustle of clothes told me he was undressing.
Within minutes he’d brushed his teeth and had slid into bed next to me.
I sagged toward him a little, his weight drawing me close on the soft mattress. He snuggled in, spooning his body around mine and winding his arm over my bare chest.
I didn’t move. I pretended to be fast asleep and kept my breathing even and slow. Even though a war was raging within me, I held it there. What I’d seen needed to be digested, understood.
I hadn’t hated seeing them kiss; in fact, it was deliriously sexy, but still…Gabe couldn’t just go around kissing other people. That was my role in his life, I was his to kiss, no one else.
He pressed his lips to my head. His body was warm against mine and he smelled of whiskey and burning logs.