by Stephy Smith
The dim light from the sinking sun penetrated into the room. Her beautiful hair had taken on a dull, lifeless outer shell, and deep wrinkles now replaced the silkiness of her once angelic face. Jessie forced himself to wake her.
"So, Mother, what brings you here?" Jessie attempted to draw the reason for her unexpected visit.
"I just wanted to see you Jessie."
"Do you need something?"
"No, I don't need anything."
"You need to stop working so hard."
"I just need a few days away, that's all."
Jessie searched his mother's face as he served her a bowl of aromatic beef stew and a slice of fresh baked bread that lingered in the kitchen. He gently rubbed Sarah's knotted shoulders. His heart pounded upon finding nothing to rub except skin and bones. Sighing, he took a bowl for himself and sliced off some bread. He sat at the table across from her and watched as she devoured her food as if she hadn't eaten in weeks.
"Mother, I'm going to come help you on the farm for a few days."
"I would like that, but you have your own farm to take care of."
"I'm caught up. I can spare a week or two to help out my favorite lady." He glanced at her shaking hand. Most of the food dribbled back into the bowl. Finally, she took her last bite. "Would you like some more stew?"
"No thank you. That was good." Gathering the dishes from the table, Sarah washed and dried them as Jessie protested. Jessie poured some fresh tea and the two sat at the table while he told Sarah the latest gossip around town.
"Mother, get some sleep, you look exhausted." Jessie carried the kerosene lamp to the bedroom and lit the one on the bedside table for Sarah. "Good night, Mother."
He listened for an instant at the bedroom door. Two loud clomps and then the rustling of material filtered through the thick wood. He breathed in a sigh of relief. At least she hadn't fallen while changing into her nightgown.
Jessie lay awake for hours, bothered by his mother's deteriorated form. She had changed so much that he didn't recognize her when she arrived. He trembled at the ghastly image etched in his mind. Her life left a shell that was merely existing.
If Shining Moon was the cause of his mother's demise, he would kill the man. Something deep in his mind told him that was the most unthinkable thought he ever had. Just watching the way Shining Moon and his mother went all giddy when they encountered each other was proof.
Had something happened to Shining Moon? Where was he? He always stood atop of the hill watching over her. Why hadn't the old shaman noticed and alerted him about his mother? Maybe he had talked to Cord. After all, Cord was the one who introduced Shining Moon to the family.
For the few hours he slept that night, visions of his mother's broken-down state invaded his peace. He woke long before she did.
"Good morning, Jessie." Sarah's feet dragged across the floor as she made her way to the table. Her clean clothes added very little freshness to her. At least there was a small amount of improvement, though.
"Good morning, Mother." He carried a plate of food to her and planted a tender kiss on her cheek.
"I'm going to see Cord today. Do you need me to tell him anything or take him anything?" She asked between the bites of bacon and eggs.
"No, but I'll see you this weekend."
No sooner had she finished eating, she rose from the chair and insisted on washing the dishes. He went and hitched the team to the wagon and then escorted her to the buckboard.
Jessie kissed his mother good-bye as he watched her head across the prairie to Cord's house. He hoped she would confide in Cord about what was going on. At a safe distance, he followed her until she reached Cord's place.
When he stopped, Shining Moon joined him. He glanced at the worry lines crossing the weatherworn face. "What has happened to her?"
"I don't know. She has shut me out of her life, Jessie. I followed her here yesterday and hoped she would tell you."
"How long has this been going on? Why didn't you come to me? Have you gone to Cord… or Travis?"
"It has been going on too long. The last few times I went to her, she told me to stay away. I do not wish to stay away, Jessie. I cannot stay away, so I follow her. I have stayed upon the hill and listened to a man and woman trying to convince her to burn your grandma's house and the cemetery. I thought her brother and sisters had left. During the day, no one but Sarah leaves the cabin."
"They did leave. I'm sure of it. You don't reckon someone is coming in after dark and trying to bully her off her farm do you?"
"I don't know what to think any more. I've tried to sneak up to the house at night and peek in, but she closes the windows off. It is not like Sweet Sarah to close off the world."
****
Cord glared against the sun. The woman in his mother's buckboard sang a familiar hymn. Her voice floated in the air, drowning out most of the creaks and jingles of the wagon. Why would Sarah send someone to his house with her wagon? Who was this singing, frail lady? Her body bounced from one side of the bench to the other as she rolled across the rough prairie. Something had to be wrong. He stopped the horse and plow.
Pulling her horses to a standstill, the stranger climbed down from the wagon in front of Cord's split-level cedar house. She took her time to admire the irises inside the zigzag brick border along the exterior walls. The way the woman staggered on the stone walkway to the tiny porch caused his heart to lurch.
Cord ran toward her from the field, along with his knee-high black and silver dog named Jake. Jake wagged his tail as he sat down at the woman's feet, and she bent to give him scratch behind the ear.
"It's nice to see you, too, Jake."
Cord gasped and tried to keep a straight face. "It's good to see you, um… Mother." Bending down to hug her, he twirled her in a circle. He was concerned about the weight she had lost. Cord kissed her cheek and set her firmly on the ground, worried he was going to break her frail bones.
"It's good to see you, Cord. How have you been?"
Cord wiped the sweat from his brow. He shifted his weight to one foot and eyed his mother. The thought of hurting Shining Moon crossed his mind. The man was supposed to be keeping his eyes on her. How could he let her dwindle down to nothing like this?
"Is everything alright? You look a little under the weather." He could tell that she was exhausted from the way she bounced across the wagon bench and staggered toward his door.
"Yes, I'm fine. Nice day, today." Sarah glanced toward the sky.
"Why don't you go rest, and I'll be in at noon." Cord opened the door to the cabin. The bright shine of the polished cedar wood interior with its enormous staircase set to the left of the door. A small bedroom set off to the right, with a wrought iron bed placed near the single window. Sheer curtains draped to the floor.
He ran to retrieve her bag and hoped she didn't try to climb the stairs to one of the rooms up there. His stomach twisted into a knot. When he reached her, she was at the door of the downstairs bedroom. Her hand twisted the knob. A small three-drawer chest stood at one side of the bed. On the other side was a round wooden table with a lantern on it. A cane bottom chair set in the far corner, with a quilt folded and neatly draped over the back. Cord watched his mother settle in before he left.
He worked in the field, but kept a constant watch on his house. If his mother were to wake and venture outside, he worried that she could hurt herself.
Cord reluctantly woke Sarah at noon. Dishing up a bowl of chicken soup and cornbread, he set it before her. Then he helped himself to the soup and cornbread that he had prepared. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes I did. I stayed with Jessie last night. He's coming to help me on the farm this weekend." Sarah spooned the soup into her mouth as if she hadn't eaten a bite in weeks.
"That's good, Mother. How long is he going to stay?"
"He's going to stay a week or so. That should help me catch up." Sarah reached out and touched Cord's arm. Her smile didn't match what he was reading in her eyes.
"I should be done planting in another week. I'll come help when I finish up."
"I would be so grateful, Cord. Are you sure you can spare the time?"
"Yes, Mother. If not, I'll make the time. You need more rest. I'll be in at supper and we can talk some more," Cord said, gently squeezing his mother's arm. Perplexed at his mother's state of health, he knew whatever was wrong was deadly wrong.
"That's not a bad idea." Sarah walked from the room.
Later Cord went in to check on her, and she was sound asleep. Searching his mother's face, he noticed how peacefully she slept. On her arrival, she looked like she hadn't rested in a very long time or eaten anything, for that matter. He had warmed up the soup and added some dumplings to it.
Sarah's light footsteps tapped against the hardwood floor. Cord ran to the nearest chair and pulled it out for her to sit in.
"Mother, would you stay the night?" Cord offered at supper. He had secretly met with Jessie to find out what was going on with their mother. Both of the boys were in shock by the change in her. The two had agreed that Jessie should travel to Travis's house to warn him of their mother's weakened state.
"How is Shining Moon?"
"I couldn't tell you. I have been so busy lately, I'm afraid I have been neglecting him." Sarah kept her eyes on the food before her.
"Hasn't he been helping you?"
"No. I sent him away."
"Why would you do that? The man would do anything for you. You should let him help."
"I have already been too much of a burden for him. Anyway, I'll wait and go to Travis's tomorrow." Sarah smiled and washed the dishes before she headed off to bed. Cord had an uncanny way of feeling things Sarah felt. He, too, was sensitive to the unknown, and like Sarah, took his knowledge of the unknown in stride. However, the things Sarah had been experiencing lately wouldn't let anything fall into place. Cord picked this up from his mother's aura, but couldn't distinguish what it was.
****
Travis couldn't contain his excitement when Jessie said Sarah was on her way. Being the youngest in the family, he had become possessive of his mother after Jessie and Cord had left home. He listened intently for the sound of her wagon.
He had built his adobe house with a natural wood fence enclosing the yard. The short rose bushes he had planted under each window were bearing small leaves. Soon the rosebuds would compete with the tiny leaves. A large prickly pear cactus adorned one corner of the house. The natural wood door and window shutters blended in with the terra cotta.
Travis was in the barn when Sarah arrived. He rushed out and planned to greet her with a heartfelt hug. As soon as he saw her, he paused. "Mother, how are you?"
Sarah exited the wagon and faced her youngest son. Travis drew in a sharp breath at the shock of her appearance. Jessie had warned him their mother was broken, he hadn't mentioned she was shattered. He quickly replaced the smile, kissed her on the cheek, and gave her a light but comforting hug.
"I'm fine. How are things going here?"
"They're good. I broke a harness this morning. I'm having to fix it." Travis glanced to the adobe barn with its natural wood-colored half doors, with white x's on them.
"You should take a nap before lunch. I will be done in a few hours and I'll fix you something to eat unless you are hungry now."
"I could use some more sleep. Jessie and Cord fed me well. I've had so much on my mind lately I haven't been resting well."
"I'll wake you in time to eat."
Inside his home, the fresh air held an even temperature. The dark brown leather couch and two chairs sat around the fireplace, inviting warmth and conversation on cold nights. He escorted her to the large bedroom decorated with light-colored curtains and a matching bedspread, draped across the majestic hand-carved oak bed and fluffy pillows. The bed stood on the far wall. Matching night tables were next to the headboard of each side of the bed, as the wardrobe stood gallantly on the opposite side of the room.
Travis shivered. His mother's chest raised against the cover. With each breath she took, he wondered if she had a lung disease. If she did, she hadn't mentioned it to Jessie. The worry lines and wrinkles smoothed a tad as she slept.
Travis backed from the room and pulled the door shut. He tiptoed out the door and headed toward his barn. At noon Travis returned to the house and walked to his mother's bedside.
"Are you feeling better now, Mother?" Travis spoke softly as he shook her awake.
"Yes, I am. You boys needn't worry about me not getting enough sleep. Every one of you have put me to bed as soon as I have arrived." She smiled up at him as he stood next to the bed. He reached down to help her sit up on the edge. "Something smells good."
"I've made a pork roast, onions, and potatoes. Would you like some?" Travis said. He led her to the kitchen and helped her in a chair.
"You boys are going to fatten me up. I'll have to roll everywhere I go."
Travis cut a chunk of roast, and spooned potatoes and onions onto plates for Sarah and himself.
"You could use some meat on your bones."
"I stopped at Jessie and Cord's. They fed me well. I got some rest at their houses."
"Good. You need it."
"Jessie is coming to help with the farm this weekend. Cord will be there the next weekend."
"I'll be there the weekend after that," Travis said with a confident voice. "We'll get you caught up in no time."
"I would appreciate that, Travis. You boys are so good to me. I don't know how to repay you."
"You don't need to repay us, we owe you." Travis was confused as to why she thought she should have to repay them. While they were growing up, she never asked them to help pay for anything. They had all pulled their money together and helped her anyway.
Sarah lowered her head. He caught a glimpse of the tears pooling on the brims of her eyes.
"Mother? Mother?" Travis shook her arm.
"I'm sorry, I must have been thinking of something that needs to be done on the farm. What were you saying?"
"I was saying you should stay here tonight." Travis tried to control the shaking in his voice. The terrified look on Sarah's face burned in his mind when she had drifted into some unknown dark place.
After they finished supper, Travis and his mother talked for several minutes. She told him she needed to return to her farm. When her eyes began to drift shut occasionally, he helped his mother to the bedroom where she would stay the night. Sarah still hadn't said anything about her run-down state. She had always talked to him and his brothers about her troubles. Yet she acted as if her problems were nothing.
He walked to the window and sat in the chair behind his desk. The shadow of Shining Moon slipped through the barn door. He listened for the bed to stop creaking, and knew his mother had settled in comfortably.
Travis paused at the door of the room where his mother slept. He peered in and watched the rise and fall of her chest. She was sleeping soundly, so he backed out and pulled the door closed.
Lightly, he walked to the front door and let himself out. He stepped into the cool night air and stood on the porch for an instant. Then he continued to the barn where he would meet Shining Moon.
Stars littered the dark sky. The sliver of the moon offset the sprinkling of twinkles. Travis drew in a deep breath. How could something so beautiful hang above them, when there was extreme turmoil surrounding his mother?
The barn door screeched as he pulled it open. A low light from the kerosene lantern dimmed in the corner where his old friend paced.
"Good evening, Shining Moon. I hope you know more than she is telling." He nodded back toward his house.
"Sorry, Travis. Sweet Sarah hasn't said a word to Jessie, Cord, or I about her troubles. We were hoping she had told you something."
"Not a word. While we were eating supper… she got a far-away look in her eyes and didn't pay attention to a word I was saying. This concerns me, my friend." Travis shook his head. His hands rested on his hips.
"When
does she plan to return to her cabin?"
"In the morning. I was hoping she would stay a few more days, but she said she needed to get back."
"I followed her to Jessie's and then on to Cord's. She pushes me away. Do you know why?" Shining Moon's eyes narrowed.
"All she is saying is that she doesn't want to be a burden to you. Many times before today, she has expressed how much she cares and appreciates all you have done for her. But on this visit, she hasn't said a word about it." Travis walked over to Shining Moon and patted him on the back.
"I will wait by the grove of trees and make sure she arrives at her farm safely. As weak as she is, bouncing around in that wagon frightens me." Shining Moon walked from the barn and disappeared into the dark shadows.
Travis followed his friend out of the barn doors and turned to latch it shut. Soundlessly he walked to his house and entered. He checked on his mother one last time and then headed to his own bed. For a long while, sleep evaded him.
Worried, Travis didn't want her to leave, but he knew it would be only two days before Jessie was at the farm with her. Many things could happen in two days' time. Paranoia settled in Travis's mind.
Chapter Six
Shining Moon hurried to the grove of trees and waited for Sarah to pass by in her wagon. When the boys got to her place, he hoped they would find out what had been ailing her. He had taken a few nights of watching her place while she was gone. Everything was quiet. No one had been there.
His mind whirled as he tried to think about the man and woman trying to get her to burn the place. He hadn't seen any external bruises or physical injuries showing that they had harmed her. Nothing other than her worn out state. Her cabin didn't seem right, but he assumed it was from her absence and him being there without her knowledge.
Cord and Jessie had asked him to milk Miss Betsy and gather the eggs. They told him to take the milk and eggs to his tribe. The boys were good about sending a few head of cattle for Shining Moon's people to eat. They had also brought bags of corn and dispensed it amongst the families who struggled to feed their children. All three of the men were good about carving little wooden toys for all the boys and girls.