With the pointe shoes already gone and my leotard following suit in mere seconds, I began peeling off the tights. That was a gift, even in the claustrophobic stall of the bathroom, and soon I was wearing an airy sundress and sneakers and was out in record time. Ellie resumed leading the way immediately.
We walked down the streets past stores I could hardly afford to look at, and homeless people camped out in front of them, asking me for money I could not give. At one point, Ashlinn nearly walked in front of a speeding taxi, not understanding what the red hand flashing on the opposite side of the crosswalk meant, and I grabbed her arm to stop her. Ellie was already across the street and smiled knowingly when I released Ashlinn’s arm in order to hold her hand.
She said nothing, still awash with the marvels of the half-glittering city around us.
It reminded me of the graveyard more and more as we progressed toward Rockefeller Center. Some of New York was crumbling, empty of its original purpose, and forgotten, while the other half was well loved and glistening with shimmering statues and sausage stands.
We crossed the street and rejoined Ellie, and from this new vantage point saw the golden wealth and bursting fountains like a mirage among the steel structures. She began jogging toward this oasis and we followed, a pair of sundresses rippling in the wind.
The area was vast and filled with tourists snapping pictures. Together we headed to the low brick wall surrounding what would be an ice skating rink during the winter, but now just circled a small café from above. There wasn’t an overabundance of customers, and many of the chairs were still in stacks, although some employees were beginning to place them around. Ashlinn put her arms on the ledge and her chin on top in order to watch, and I copied her posture, as did Ellie.
The area fell in the shadow of a magnificent statue of some god I couldn’t name.
“That bastard must have done something really great to merit being golden,” Ellie said, tilting her head in the direction of the figure.
“He really did. That’s Prometheus. He kept humanity warm and in return is getting his liver pecked out by birds for all of eternity. The least you guys could do is give him a half-decent statue.”
Ellie turned her head toward Ashlinn, looking surprised, if not taken aback, obviously not expecting her to be so knowledgeable on the topic.
Well, neither was I. Maybe she actually knew this Prometheus fellow. If she was real, who could tell what other storybook characters were lurking around corners, judging our portrayals of them.
“I figured he’d just be thrilled to be ripped and shiny.”
“Looks aren’t everything,” Ashlinn muttered a bit sadly, almost to herself.
I nudged her elbow with mine and tried to give an uplifting look that probably came off more strained than anything. She stood upright, still leaning against the wall, and pointed to one of the men setting up chairs below us.
“There’s an example. See him? He was the best singer in his hometown, some little city out west I think, and everyone was convinced he’d be huge, himself included. That was his dream, his only goal: to star on Broadway. Now that he’s made it here, he’s working poor hours in a café and no one realizes he once had a head full of silver music notes instead of lungs full of cigarette smoke and broken hopes.”
Sure enough, as she said that, he started pulling Marlboros out of his pocket and removing his work apron, obviously about to go on break.
“That can’t be good for his voice” was the only comment I made, and Ellie was even more quiet. Hearing Ashlinn rattle off this man’s dead aspirations like some fortune-teller wasn’t an everyday occurrence, and I dared to glance over. She was looking more incredulous with each passing moment.
“How the hell did you know that?” she eventually asked, challengingly.
My heart might as well have been in one of those boardwalk claw machines, it felt so restricted. Just clamp me in metal and call it a day.
“Intuition,” she rushed to say. “I’ve been led to believe that’s the story of most everyone in this city.”
The excuse was feeble, but I’d take it. Still, did she have to be so sure about that? What was preventing me from having such a future? Absolutely nothing. There was no time to wallow in self-doubt, though, as it seemed a distraction was necessary in order to prevent any further questions from Ellie.
I grabbed both of their hands and began dragging them away from where we were keeping vigil.
“Let’s go look at beautiful things we will never be able to afford.”
Nine
WHO WOULD have thought that sentence and the ensuing diversion would have ended with us being kicked out of a jewelry store with Ellie wearing one less flip-flop?
“They deserved to have it tossed at them,” she grumbled after I admonished her for attacking salespersons who didn’t mean any harm.
“It’s not like they were lying when they said we couldn’t afford pearls. Have you seen the state of us? Everyone else in the place had a Versace suit.”
If she heard me, she gave no sign of it.
“This is classist!” Ellie yelled over her shoulder in the general vicinity of the store we had just been escorted out of. I ignored her in favor of listening to Ashlinn, who pulled me down to whisper in my ear.
“You did say she was a bit of a revolutionary. I thought the dreams of world domination were exaggerated, but I’m starting to believe it.”
“What a world that would be. We’d all have diamond necklaces and free tampons. Doesn’t sound too bad, actually.”
“She can get you whatever necklaces she wants as long as the rings are left to me. I saw you eyeing up those engagement rings. Never took you to be a platinum girl.”
My ears were burning, and I could feel the blush pulsating red in my cheeks. Not meeting her eyes, I said, “It’d be hard not to be.”
We shared a smile as Ellie glared, probably perturbed by the whispering. She was padding along beside us as we wandered slowly and without direction, only flopping with every other step. Just looking at her bare foot on the uncomfortable streets of New York made my inner WebMD throw up in protest.
“You’re going to catch so many diseases that way. We have to get you some shoes.”
“With what money?”
“Well, don’t you have some left?”
She shook her head. “I still have to pay for parking, remember? I don’t trust the rates posted, so none of my money is getting spent.”
“Do you want to get tetanus?”
It was the first disease that popped into my mind, and I wasn’t even sure if that was something one was likely to contract from city concrete, but she thought for a second. I could almost see her weighing the options, groaning.
“You’re paying for half.”
“Deal.”
She didn’t have to know the money was being removed from her already feeble lunch fund. Thankfully, being on an island-length tourist trap put us in close vicinity to a shady, doorless corner shop even after having just exited Louis Martin. There were carts of fifty-cent postcards on racks outside, the mildly pornographic ones pointed away from the street, and scarves draped from every shelf. The knickknacks were plastic, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if the entire shop was a front for drug or weapons sales as there was a distinct absence of customers, even though it was the busy season.
Black flip-flops with hearts printed on them in a rainbow of colors dangled from a bar on the wall. Ellie grabbed a pair at the end without even checking the size, and walked the two feet it took to get across the store to toss them on the counter. Ashlinn was busy in the back, tapping bobbleheads and shaking every snow globe she could get her hands on. The cashier, a wrinkled and bearded man with stained clothes, rang up the purchase with an indifferent expression, then demanded eight dollars, which Ellie grumpily proffered four of while I dug out the rest.
Ignoring his offer of a bag or scissors, she tore the tag and plastic tie off on her own and slipped them on. The single
shoe they replaced found its way into an overflowing garbage can.
After grabbing Ashlinn from where she was distracting herself, we headed out.
“We probably shouldn’t be wandering too far from the parking garage,” I said, realizing we were going in the opposite direction.
“But I wanted to go to Central Park and climb the rocks,” Ellie whined insistently in my ear.
“How much time do we have left?”
She took out her phone and frowned at whatever she saw there.
“About an hour. It’ll be enough time if we hurry up. Start jogging.”
With that she was off toward the distant green. Block after block we trotted at a steady pace, and I lamented the soreness my legs would inevitably feel for days, not to mention the damage being added to my feet. Ashlinn was worse off than me, though, and it seemed like the only things preventing her lungs from giving out were the breaks at stoplights. If we were training for a marathon, it would be one with a horribly inconvenient dress code.
After a few blocks of sweating and sprinting, we crossed over to the entrance. It was framed by carriages on one side and fenced bushes on the other. Panting, Ashlinn asked, “How long did that take?”
“Ten minutes.”
“We have forty left. I can work with that.” She grabbed my hand and headed toward the boulders. “Show me the life I never led.”
Ellie walked ahead of us on the smooth expanse of rocks, probably not wishing to stare at our perpetually linked hands and be reminded of her solitude. With hands in the pockets of her cardigan, she strolled along, appearing certain the boulders wouldn’t dare make her stumble even as they started to turn ragged. If she did trip, her arms would not be available to brace the fall.
As the rocks began to grow higher, they also became more uneven, with crevices splitting them into geometric patterns. Wary of our clothing, I had Ashlinn climb ahead of me as I made sure no one could see up her sundress, then allowed her to help me keep my balance as I followed.
Ellie was up there waiting for us as we got to the highest part and looked down on a baseball field. “Walking around on rocks shouldn’t be this entertaining,” I said as we stood in a line, taking in the surroundings, from the park full of children to the rows of buildings standing like a deck of cards.
“They wouldn’t have left them if someone didn’t find it fun. Just think, they’ve lasted here since the Ice Age and we could tear them away with a bit of machinery in no time. The mammoths would be jealous. I don’t know if anything can truly be permanent anymore.”
I’d say Ellie was in a bit of a philosophical mood, but if she was, it had started with her exiting the womb.
Ashlinn’s eyes hadn’t left the playground the entire time we stood there. It wasn’t much, but there were bridges and slides and a swing set.
“We can go if you want,” I told her, and she began her descent immediately without even answering.
Climbing off the rocks was actually more difficult than going up. There were uneven ledges to jump between and small chasms and crannies to use as a steep staircase. I was forced to release her hand in order to cling to anything I could lay my fingers on.
When we finally hit solid ground, I said a silent prayer to whatever gods might be tuning in, thanking them for my not having lost any limbs. We also managed to not flash the children with our dresses, always a plus.
Ashlinn took no time to reclaim my hand as she skipped toward the swing set. One free swing was being eyed by a young boy, but I didn’t point him out to her. I just hurried up and all but threw her into the seat.
“I’ll push you. Hold your dress down.”
Standing behind her, I grabbed the chains and pulled back, bringing her along, then pushed her shoulder blades. Her back beneath my hands was warm and slightly sweaty, another reminder that she truly was here. Ellie was on the slide, dragging her feet along the sides as she went down in an attempt to brace herself from plummeting straight into the wood chips. She waved at us and began climbing the ladder again, not ashamed to be the oldest person on the playground apart from parents. A few were shooting unfriendly looks at the three of us, but nothing could bring me to care.
Ashlinn was flying through the air, the dress blossoming beneath her hands with each swing. She was laughing as if she had never been happier, and if anything kept the adults from kicking us out, I’d say that was it. No one would ever want to prevent such melodious joy.
Ellie called to me from the bridge she was running across, now with a trail of small children chasing her, but I couldn’t make out her words above the swing set’s metallic creaking. When Ashlinn came rushing toward me again, I wrapped my arms around the swing to stop its motion and ended up getting dragged as the momentum continued. When I let go, she stumbled out as I kneeled behind the swing with scraped legs.
“Well, that wasn’t the most elegant thing I’ve ever attempted.”
There were red wood chips inlaid in my knees and hands now, and I began picking at them as Ashlinn squatted next to me, staring. Ellie was laughing at my expense even though she was a fair distance away, and it spurred me onto my feet and toward her.
“What did you say?” I yelled up from the ground.
“We’ve got ten minutes left. Then it’s time to head toward the car. How much money do you have?”
“Sixteen dollars to spend.”
“Awesome, you’re buying us cashews.”
On one of the sidewalks snaking through the park there was a rickety little cart with a faded red umbrella above it. A man scooped our nuts into three small wax-paper bags. It was a sad excuse for a lunch, but with the amount of cash we had left, I was grateful for it. Judging by the blissed-out expression on her face, Ashlinn was as well.
We plopped ourselves on a bench right on the edge of Central Park, and as in all situations, Ellie had a story for this one.
“Once my mom saw a pigeon in one of those things, right in the glass with the nuts. The man just shooed it out and continued selling them. Don’t even think he was embarrassed that people saw.”
“If you’re trying to ruin my appetite with that nugget of info, I’m sorry to tell you it isn’t going to work,” I told her.
Ashlinn was watching the cars go by with intent, and the second a purple taxi passed, she smugly informed me that she was winning. I remembered us counting the cabs on our third date together and grinned like a lunatic.
“You have no chance of winning. We’re in New York and my color was yellow.”
I was scanning the streets for glimpses of the color and saw three canary yellow cars in a row. I jumped up to point them out so excitedly that I dropped some cashews. It would make a good dinner for the birds, at least. Ellie must have accepted that the whole thing was some sort of inside joke and just went on eating her nuts.
By the time we stopped, I had dozens of points while Ashlinn had spotted only two more purple cabs and no blue ones.
“As much as I hate to interrupt this truly riveting game of identifying colors, we really must start heading to the garage.”
Ellie seemed disappointed, but her emotions were amplified tenfold in Ashlinn. It looked as if her heart was breaking, and I felt mine go along with it.
“Don’t worry,” I told her. “We’ll come back.”
I wasn’t sure how true those words were, but it seemed like the right thing to say. Our journey back to the parking garage was tinged with the sadness of having to return to New Jersey. We didn’t have to sprint as much and speed-walked like I had a tendency to do through the hallways of school. Hand in hand we headed to our way home. Thankfully, Ellie had enough money for the time we’d spent, and we were able to hit the road at midday when many were just arriving.
Both Ellie and Ashlinn were worn out from our little foray into the city, but it felt like I was only starting to wake up. We passed an old indie movie theater that looked like something hipsters would frequent with cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon in hand. A poster for An American in Paris
was framed outside the door.
“Look, it’s you,” Ellie said when we got caught in traffic next to the building. She was gesturing at the image of Gene Kelly as he danced across the painted poster.
“I wish.”
Ashlinn scoffed. “What does he have that you don’t?”
If we were facing each other, I would have dumbly stared at the girl for a few seconds.
“That’s Gene freaking Kelly. He has absolutely everything plus some. Are you telling me you’ve never seen Singin’ in the Rain?” The thought was a blasphemous one. Ellie sighed in the front seat, probably remembering our elementary-school days when I spoke of little apart from movie musicals and old dancers. She had been subjected to several marathons, poor girl.
“I haven’t seen most movies. That shouldn’t really come as a surprise to you.”
“I guess not. That settles it. We are going home, building a blanket fort, making a disgusting amount of popcorn, and watching this cinematic masterpiece.”
“And I will be as far away as humanly possible,” Ellie informed us before wishing Ashlinn luck.
The drive home was an easy one, and the air of nervousness from this morning had mostly melted away. No one brought up any controversial conversation topics. There was just excitement about all the time I’d be able to spend with Ashlinn. Waiting for the results of my audition would be hellish, but I imagined she’d find several ways to keep my mind off it.
It was the afternoon by the time The Hovercraft pulled up outside my house.
“I’m going to go take a six-hour-long shower and exfoliate. This whole slept-in then-citified look isn’t really working for me. Hey,” Ellie tacked on like an afterthought, although she probably had wanted to ask us all day, “would you two care to join me when I get my tattoo in three days?”
“Absolutely,” Ashlinn exclaimed before I could have any say in the matter, and Ellie looked relieved as she told my girlfriend to “enjoy the excruciatingly long dance numbers.”
The advice she offered me was different.
We Awaken Page 9