by Liz K. Lorde
Heat shot straight between my legs, and it felt like I forgot how to move or how to breathe.
Gabriel chuckled low then, “You’re so easy to fluster. Anymore questions before I hit the road, Inquisitress Madeline?”
I cleared my throat and licked my lips, “Well… I mean. Last night and this morning, you didn’t—“ I wasn’t sure how to approach this. It seemed strange that we stopped where we did; the natural progression of things felt halted in it’s tracks.
Not that I was about to complain about getting eaten out twice in the span of six hours.
“I just expected a man such as yourself to have spare condoms around.”
His chocolate eyes drifted away from me.
“It just felt like we should have—“
“We?” He said, a sudden fury glimmering in his eye. Had I said something wrong? “There is no ‘we’. What happened, happened, Madeline. You got what you wanted, mostly. Your distraction. And I got my release. I’m not saying it wasn’t fun,” he did that infuriating head cock that sent a molten rod through my spine. This was quickly turning into an evening with the other side of Gabriel, the parts of him that I didn’t know or understand nearly as well as the charming, caring side. “I’d drink what’s between your legs each and every morning ‘till my jaw goes numb, just because you taste that damn good.” He brought his hands up to his knees and then nearly lunged upwards from the couch, shooting me a look. “I don’t do ‘us’ so let’s keep things simple.”
“There isn’t anything simple about us, except for the fact that your simply being an asshole.”
His jaw tightened, and I hated myself for how much it turned me on – how much it made me feel alive to see him angry. It was stupid that he was getting this way, but sexy all the same. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m the bad fucking guy in every story anyway. Why should it be any different today or tomorrow or for you, huh? I’ve got shit to stay on top of. Stay here and be good, and I’ll be back later.”
I got up from the couch and straightened out my spine in defiance, “And if I’m not good?”
Gabriel snorted, and then closed the distance between us. He leaned in close and cocked his head, “I’ll make that ass pink, princess.”
Heat cloaked my body and I swallowed hard, beating my hands once against his full chest. “You don’t get to be hot and cold,” I scathed, “you don’t get to want to be around me, and want to fuck me, but not open up. Just, tell me.” I searched his beautiful eyes for what felt like forever, “is there something more between us? Because if there’s not? I’ll drop you so quick your washed three-times-a-day head will spin. Oh, and this?” I grabbed his hand quickly and brought it between my legs.
He clenched me down there, and holy fuck I’ve never felt such an urge to be filled by a man before. I wasn’t expecting him to take me up on my bold gesture.
I pulled in a sharp breath, my nerves flaring at the attention and smug look on his face. “Keep it in your dreams or your nightmares, tell your friends what you could have had – ‘cause this will never be your’s.”
Gabriel’s faced darkened with anger, and his hand cupped me tighter to my body’s utter delight. “Feel that?” He husked, “just one touch is all it needs.” His fingers rubbed back and forth against my roaring heat, sending waves of pleasure shooting up my spine – warming my blood and lifting my soul. “All it needs to remember, princess. It’s already mine.”
Everything in me stood still just before he broke away and left for his bedroom, leaving me stunned, pissed, and horny as hell. I waited with arms crossed and pussy teased when he came back out. Gabriel’d dressed up in his shirt and MC cut. “I won’t be here when you get back,” I told him, even though pissed me had made up it’s mind, I knew that calmer me hadn’t weighed in yet.
“Don’t bullshit a bullshitter,” Gabriel quipped, flashing me that shit eating grin and brushing back his hair.
20
Gabriel
The embers of anger were still running hot through me; I wasn’t happy about how I’d reacted, but I couldn’t deny the betrayal of the past still chained me up inside. With the wind running her fingers through my hair, and the cover of night draping me in darkness – I felt a little more at ease with the world. Out here on the road, with only the roar of my bike and what lay before me to heed. It was my solitude.
Swaths of green so dark flanked me at either side, and in the day time one would find themselves part intimidated, part entranced, by the natural beauty of Washington’s great land. Expertly, I swerved past a few vehicles down the long and narrow night’s road – catching the occasional scowl from the more prudish townsfolk. Naturally my response, was if they were going to think of me one way, was to just give it to them. So I shot them the bird.
It wouldn’t take me too long to hit up the New Knights club. Course, soon as I rolled into town I saw those splashes of blue and red across the pavement, and a brief siren behind me. Pulled my bike over, killed the engine and got up from my seat.
Who else but the sheriff himself, Fernando Martine. Even in the dark I could make out that golden Seiko watch he had wrapped around his wrist, as he swaggered on his way towards me – like his dick was bigger or something. How wrong he’d be.
“Well well,” Fernando said, his Croatian accent only hinted at in his vowels. “Looking for trouble tonight?”
I raised my chin and stepped to the man, a white charger darting by the both of us. “Don’t need to do that,” I replied, “seem to bring it wherever I go. I’ve got places to be, Martine.”
His brows glided upward, “Tell me,” he said, sidling past me and looking over my bike – probably hoping to find anything suspicious that might hold some drugs. We’d never been caught like that, but I guess he couldn’t help himself. “I know your crew is planning something. Every week I wait,” he stopped in his tracks and looked towards me. “Wait for you and the Big Three—“ he was talking about the Steel Knights, Demonios and Lucifer MC’s. “—To fuck up. How come they have not crushed you, yet?” Sheriff Martine asked, chuckling.
Just the way he talked rubbed me the wrong way, but I kept all that shit below the mask that I wore, giving nothing away. “Who?”
“The Knights,” he insisted, crossing his arms as another car passed us by. His finger tapped subtly against the holster of his gun, and I knew that he was trying to make me aware of it.
“Because we got the best of them, not that it’s your business. Keep your eyes on them for all I fucking care, but stay out of our shit.”
Martine sucked in a breath through his teeth and rounded my bike, moving beside me. “Your little leader, Luke? He doesn’t have his get out of jail card anymore, Gabriel,” Martine’s words came out in barbs, and he was glaring at me now. “I will ruin everything you love, if you keep making me. I think Mr. Rochester would be… upset, to hear that his daughter was killed – and not missing.”
That made my heart drop in my chest. But I didn’t look away from him. “She’s dead?”
“Don’t play stupid.”
“No,” I said, “it’s news to me. Who did it?”
Martine just gave me his crooked smile, “Watch yourself. Call me if you get tired of the fighting, I can be of use, if you can be.” The sheriff gave me a last look and then walked back to his cruiser.
I spat in the direction of his car and cursed beneath my breath, calling him a pig.
He pulled away and once he was out of sight, I hopped back on my hog and made my way to the clubhouse.
***
It was pretty empty tonight. Madwild was snoring on the couch in the front lounge, with a bottle of beer still cradled in his hand, partially kept standing by the floor. Making my way through the lounge, I went down the concrete hall that had yet to be renovated and knocked on the door to our Church room. “It’s Angel,” I said. We were supposed to use our callsigns as far as Church matters were concerned.
“Come on, it’s not locked,” Luke called from inside.
I went in and locked the door behind me, nodding at Luke and Sexton, before taking a seat. Our Church was humble, modest, compared to the Steel Knights of which we hailed. The table was a dark wood and round, able to fit as many as nine all around it. Sexton was wearing his typical aviator sunglasses, and had a leg kicked up relaxing on a vacant chair. Luke had that serious ‘I’m in command right now’ look on his face. His dark, jet black hair was pulled back into a small ponytail, giving him a roguish look.
“Got held up,” I let them know. “Sheriff had some interesting ideas that he was sharing with me.”
Luke perked up at that, “Martine? What do you mean by that.”
Sexton did his usual tic, sucking in a huge, short breath through his nose. “Heat died out with him few months back, whatever he’s telling you is just smoke. That’s all he is doing. Blowin’ smoke.”
I shook my head and my tone was biting, “No. The way he looked at me told me all I needed to know, he sincerely believes that You Know Who… ain’t just missing.”
Luke’s breathing stilled. “Where did he get that idea?”
“I don’t know.”
Sexton brought his leg off of the vacant chair and brought himself fully into the conversation, now.
“Damn him,” Luke pounded his fist against the table, sending a little shockwave of power through it – the vibrations running up elbow.
Sexton folded his arms over his chest, “You can’t let him get to you, Prez.”
Luke’s eyes flicked towards Sexton, “It doesn’t matter if he has nothing on me. Even with their resources pushed to the limit, he wants my head day in and day out – and if he thinks, even if he thinks that, about what really happened.” His eyes moved to me for a moment, worry glazing over them. In that heartbeat, he wasn’t so much my leader, as he was my best friend. “He’s going to bring the hammer down on me, and by extension, all of us.”
The table became a silent melting pot of quiet fury.
Finally, Sexton offered, “So ice him. If he gets too close,” he slid his hand over his neck and made a noise, “no shame in going the hard way.”
“I’ve known the man since I was a kid,” Luke reminded. “He’s just doing his job. I’m not saying he’s not a prick, but there’s something to say about a man with convictions.” Yeah, I thought, well if anyone of us gets caught – we’ll be the ones ending up with convictions.
I shifted in my chair uncomfortably, “His job will get us in too deep, brother.”
Sexton nodded his head in agreement. And for some reason, my mind turned to those beautiful sapphires at home; those beautiful blue’s that I hoped were waiting for me when I got home. An arrow of warmth shot itself right through my heart. I didn’t want to go to fucking jail, but especially not now – not unless I had to for the club.
Luke rolled out a deep sigh, “Nothing changes, but I want everyone to be on high alert. Off the books, on the books, whatever Martine’s cooking up, we’re going to make sure he sees exactly what we want him to see. Heard?”
Sexton and I both said: “Heard.”
Luke fingered at the heavy gavel on his side of the round table. “Now, I just got wind this afternoon on where the Demonios are keeping the latest stash. We’re going to do it quick and quiet, just the three of us. I’ve got to keep some muscle spread out.”
The both of us nodded in agreement, and I said, “When’s it go down?” There was this fleeting feeling in my chest, this half-remembered emotion that I couldn’t quite pin. I thought about Madeline, and then pushed it all from my system.
Whatever it was, it made me want to be careful. Made me want out of all the bloodshed.
Luke answered, “Day after tomorrow. Stroke of midnight.”
Sexton moved in his chair, “Wish you would have waited to tell me,” he laughed, “how am I going to get any god damn sleep?” I swear that man is more damaged than me.
Luke just gave him that ‘you need to be institutionalized’ look. “Keep your dick in your pants and pop some pills, you freak.”
“Hey you know I try,” he said defensively, “it’s the ladies that keep bringing it out.”
I snorted, “Yeah that’s why we hear screams of horror at night. Because you insist on flashing your gnarly hog every time something with two legs smiles at you.”
Sexton just turned to look at me with that loveable, yet dumb grin, and screwed up his eyebrows.
“This is why I don’t hold church with just us,” Luke admitted quietly, “you two always pull me into your absurdity. Bruiser, get some sleep. Angel? Keep doing you.”
I gave Luke a joking salute, “Yes sir, big daddy Reaper sir.”
He swung down the gavel and stood up, “More info tomorrow. Meeting adjourned. Let’s wake up Wild.”
21
Madeline
“I wish you would just come home,” Mom said with some degree of frustration in her voice.
“I know,” I told her. “After tonight, I’ve been kind of thinking about it.”
“We don’t even know who you’re staying with…”
“It’s just—“ in my mind, I was already doing mental gymnastics on how to define Gabriel. Friend? Paramour? Savior? Living keeper of my destruction? “—he’s just a friend, mom. He’s an ass but he’s just trying to help me with all of this.”
“Honey, I don’t buy that for a second. I’ve been around the block. And your father—“
“No, mom,” I told her, “Dad… did what he did, but I’m not dealing with him or you about it. I’m clean right now,” what I didn’t tell her was that the bad thoughts were slithering back in, now that I was alone. That right now, Mom was the only thing standing between me and leaving this place and making a bad, bad choice.
For some reason, maybe I didn’t think I was worthy, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her this. “And I’m going to stay that way, this time. I promise.”
She didn’t say anything for a second. “What about school and work?”
“It’s all taken care of,” I assured her. “Look I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you and keep you up.”
“Oh, honey,” she started, “it’s okay.”
I brought myself away from the phone, trying to sniffle back some of the pain. Mom said something that made my bones chill over, “You know, that boy you keep around your finger came looking for you today.”
“… You mean Damien.”
“Yes. He seemed quite upset when I told him that I didn’t know where you were. I’ve never liked him though, you know that.”
“I never liked him either,” I openly admitted, “don’t talk to him, mom.”
“Well,” she said, “hopefully he doesn’t come around anymore.”
“No, seriously. Don’t talk to him. Definitely don’t talk to him in person either, okay?”
She was quiet for a second, “Okay I won’t, did something happen between you guys? Should I be worried.”
“I’m just… he was a mistake. A horrible, horrible mistake. I’m going to go, alright? Get your sleep. Please.” Before she had time to protest too much, I said goodbye and that I loved her, and hung up the phone. After that, I did some casual browsing through the likes of Tumblr and Pinterest. When I saw an image about the effective birth control rate of different methods, some curiosity touched at my mind.
I didn’t immediately do anything, no. Continued to browse in Gabriel’s fully lit bedroom with the door shut, arguing with myself in my head about how I should just go home and try and stay clean there. That it wasn’t a huge difference or anything, especially if he was going to leave me alone.
It was strange to miss someone that you had just met. Strange to feel so consumed with how another human being felt or how they thought. Why did he have to be such a sexy dick?
If Damien had been by my parent’s place, I was sure that he would be scoping out my job at Alicia’s and snooping around the campus, too. It wasn’t safe for me to leave, and it’s not safe for me to be alone.
I kept doi
ng searches for morning sickness, but the answers kept coming back with the usual suspects. If there was one thing that I was diligent about, it was getting that sick bastard to use a condom when he went inside of me. Never, not ever, did I let him stick his short little prick down there without protection. Even when he tried to force himself on me. God, just the thought of all those times… I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes at remembering, the sting permeating just behind.
Pain soaked me deep; Josie flashed through my mind like a fire I couldn’t control. I missed her deeply and dearly, and even though we had that inevitable falling out; I never did find out what happened to her. Some say that she moved out of state, but her Mom was always adamant that something bad happened to her. She never did say what she thought it was, but I always suspected that she thought Josie was killed.
Fuck if it didn’t kill me to think of that. Regardless, I stamped out the thoughts of being pregnant – that just didn’t make sense. How could it?
The fear of it somehow being a reality crept in hard and quick. Dad would never let me back in the house; I’d have to work two jobs, probably more, and find a place – just to pay for college and living quarters. It burned me up inside, I was only ever doing college for them anyway, it wasn’t like I knew what I was going to do with my life.
I let out a short laugh at the idea of bartending. My mother used to do it when Dad was going through a real bad, rough patch. There was something about it, and dancing, that always piqued my interest. And, I suppose I do have the looks for it.
My heart sank into my chest, and that delightful mix of ecstasy and fear, filled me. I could make out the sound of a screaming motorcycle. Has to be Gabriel.
I went outside of his room and waited just inside the living room for him, listening as the bike’s noise died off. After a moment, he came inside, and my whole body clenched with that strangely familiar magic. He had that devil-may-care look to him.
In my head, I was sure that we were going to fight from before – that maybe he would say, that he didn’t expect me to still be here.