Emily's Art and Soul

by Joy Argento

  “I’m the one who’s sorry. What a thing to tell you on our first date.” Emily could feel her face turn red.

  “Under the circumstances, let’s not think of this as a first date. Let’s think of it as two friends having coffee together.” She gave Emily a reassuring look.

  “I would really appreciate that. I haven’t talked to anyone about this. But I don’t think it would be very fair of me to dump all this on you.”

  “It’s fine. Truly, it is.” She reached across the table and gave Emily’s hand a quick squeeze. “Honest.”

  “No, I haven’t told her how I feel.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m not sure how she feels about me.”

  “How are you ever going to find out if you don’t tell her?”

  “I guess I’m afraid of losing her if I tell her and she doesn’t feel the same.”

  The waiter reappeared at the table. “All set to order?”

  “I think I’m going to stick to the coffee,” Emily said peering up at him. She turned to Belinda. “But you go ahead and order something to eat. Don’t let me stop you.”

  “Just the coffee for me too,” Belinda said to the waiter. When he left she said to Emily, “She hasn’t given you any indication of how she feels? Do you even know if she’s gay?”

  “That’s the only part I am sure of.”

  “Is she seeing anyone else?” Belinda asked.

  “No. I thought she was and felt hurt and, I think, a little jealous, but I wasn’t sure of my feelings at that point. I wasn’t even sure I was gay then.”

  “So these are pretty new feelings for you?”

  Emily told Belinda about Sarah and her recent self-revelations. Of course, she skipped over some of the more personal and embarrassing details. Three cups of coffee later they were still deep in conversation.

  “I guess the bottom line here is that I don’t know what to do with these feelings.”

  “That’s quite a bottom line.”

  “What should I do?”

  “Oh, Emily, I can’t tell you what to do. I think you need to listen to your heart.”

  Chapter Twenty

  “I know it’s late notice, but would you like to come over for lunch today? I’ve hardly seen you at all this week,” Andi asked Emily over the phone on Sunday morning. “Bring Mindy too.”

  “I can come but Mindy has plans with friends.”

  “Hmm, okay, I guess you can come without Mindy.”

  “Gee, thanks. What can I bring?”

  “Just your lovely self. About one o’clock?”

  “One o’clock works for me. I’ll see you then. Bye.” Emily hit the End button on her cell phone and tapped it against her chin. “And maybe I’ll tell you I have feelings for you today.” Emily closed her eyes and shook her head. “Or maybe not.”

  ***

  “Hey there, come on in.” Andi stepped back, letting Emily pass. “You look nice.”

  I could brush against her breasts as I walk by her, Emily thought as she came through the door. See if she likes it or pushes me away. “Hi,” she said instead. She was feeling unusually unsure of herself today.

  “What’s new?” Andi led the way into the kitchen.

  “Not much.” If you don’t count the fact that after thirty-five years of life I figured out I was gay, and it only took me a few more weeks to realize I want to be with you. Emily wanted to kick herself in the head to get her brain to stop the stupid thoughts and sarcastic remarks. “How about with you? Anything new going on?”

  “No, but I’ve been a little worried about you.” Andi pulled out a chair for Emily and then sat down next to her. “I’ve hardly seen you this week, and when I do, you don’t seem like yourself. So, tell me what’s going on.”

  “I’ve just been a little off this week.”

  Andi tilted her head and raised her eyebrows.

  “Really, I’m fine,” Emily said.

  Andi took both of Emily’s hands in her own. “Would you tell me if you weren’t?”

  Emily looked down at her hands in Andi’s. For a moment she felt like she might cry. She looked up and into the face of the woman she considered her best friend. She was sure of her feelings now. She wanted Andi, and she was scared of Andi not wanting her back. She was scared of losing Andi. She wasn’t sure she should tell her. “Yes. I would tell you if something was wrong.” But I’m not sure I can tell you that something is right.

  “Okay.” Andi let go of her hands and stood up. She leaned over and kissed Emily on the cheek. Emily closed her eyes and willed herself not to turn her head to meet Andi’s lips.

  “I hope soup and sandwiches are okay. I thought it would be nice on a chilly day like this.” Andi grabbed a loaf of bread from the counter. “I made some chicken soup yesterday, from scratch. I even raised the chicken myself.”

  Emily was lost in thought, not sure she could sit here and make small talk when all she wanted was to grab Andi and kiss her. What am I supposed to do with all these feelings?

  “Emily?”

  Emily stood and took a step toward Andi. “What would you say if I offered you a kidney?”

  “I would say thanks, I’m always looking for new body parts to add to my collection. Why? Do you have extra kidneys you’re trying to get rid of?”

  Yes, she knew without a doubt she had feelings for Andi. Strong feelings. “I like that answer.” Emily swallowed hard, her eyes never leaving Andi’s. “And…and…I have feelings for you.” She wrung her hands together. “What I mean is, I have feelings beyond friendship for you.” She couldn’t help the few tears that escaped her eyes. She stood there feeling foolish and scared, her entire body hot with fear as she waited for a response from Andi.

  But Andi didn’t respond, and Emily was sure she’d made a huge mistake and was going to lose Andi forever. “Please say something,” Emily said. Damn it! She’d blown it. She should have kept her big mouth closed. Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

  “Are you sure?”

  Now would be a good time to take it back. To tell Andi that she was only kidding, that it was all a big joke. But she knew she couldn’t do that. “I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life.”

  After what seemed like an eternity, Andi spoke. “I want you to be sure, Emily. All of this is very new to you. I want you to be sure. I couldn’t take it if I confessed that I have feelings for you too, and you weren’t sure.”

  “What did you say?” Emily couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

  “I said, I feel the same.” Andi stood stock still. “So what should we do about this?”

  “Any chance you could put down that bread and come over here and kiss me?”

  Andi dropped the bread on the floor and closed the distance between them. She ran her hand over Emily’s cheek and over her lips, leaving a hot trail across Emily’s skin. Emily closed her eyes as Andi’s lips touched her own. The kiss was soft and gentle and quick. Too quick. Andi pulled back. Emily opened her eyes to discover Andi looking at her.

  “Are you sure?” Andi asked again.

  “What does this tell you?” Emily slipped her hand behind Andi’s head and pulled Andi’s mouth to hers. Emily’s tongue slipped into Andi’s mouth and she could feel her tongue come forward to meet it. Andi’s arms snaked around her, pulling her in tighter. She could feel the firm flesh of Andi’s breasts press against hers. Every fiber of her body was alive with excitement. Andi was stirring feelings in her that she didn’t even know existed. The kiss seemed endless and at the same time seemed but a moment.

  “What about playing the field?” Andi asked.

  “I played the field. Luckily it was a very small field.”

  Andi held her tight, yet with so much tenderness. “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah, actually it was more like a vacant lot.”

  “Well, I am very glad you’re done playing in it.” She kissed Emily’s nose, her cheek, her temples, her lips.

  “I’m done playing there, but I’ve jus
t started playing here. Wanna play?” She kissed Andi again.

  “Are you saying you’re only playing?”

  “Playing, kissing, loving, committing, I want all of it. I want all of you. What do you think?” Her lips went to Andi’s neck and her hands went to Andi’s hair. Emily ran her tongue from Andi’s collarbone to her chin. Her tongue continued over the chin and directly to Andi’s mouth and she kissed her deeply. She pulled back enough to ask, “Well? What do you think? Can we have it all?”

  Andi’s hands moved down Emily’s back and cupped her rear. She pulled her in closer and Emily let out a small gasp. “You can have anything you want. Anything.”

  “Then I want you.” She pulled Andi’s mouth to hers and kissed her deeply. Her tongue danced around Andi’s mouth, staking its claim. It was several minutes before Emily came up for air. “Right now.” She made full contact with Andi’s mouth again, this time with a new urgency. Emily’s hands moved along Andi’s back and down to the edge of her shirt. She slipped her hands underneath it. The contact with Andi’s flesh made her fingers tingle. She couldn’t believe how silky soft Andi’s skin felt. One hand traveled up Andi’s back in an attempt to undo her bra. The other couldn’t wait that long and traveled around the front, squeezing Andi’s breast through the material. Even through the cloth, Emily could feel Andi’s nipple standing at attention.

  Andi pulled back, putting some distance between them, breaking the kiss. Emily felt the loss of Andi’s mouth and let out a small whimper of disappointment. She attempted to capture Andi’s mouth again, but Andi put a hand up, stopping her.

  Emily opened her eyes. Her heart threatened to beat right out of her chest. Her heavy breathing was matched breath for breath by Andi’s. She tried to ask the question with her eyes because she wasn’t sure she had the ability to speak. When Andi didn’t answer, Emily suspected she might be having trouble as well.

  When at last her heart and breath slowed enough, Emily spoke, her voice breaking. “Why…” She cleared her throat and started again. “Why did you stop?”

  “Because I don’t want to rush this.”

  “Don’t you want me?” Emily tried to keep the fear from her voice.

  “Yes, I want you. But I want this to be right for you. I want us to be girlfriends for a little while before we become lovers.” Her brown eyes darkened and Emily could see the want in them.

  “So what do you figure? Like an hour?” Emily attempted once again to resume the kiss.

  “I was thinking more like a week,” Andi said.

  Emily pulled back. “A week. I can’t wait a week. I was thinking an hour was too long.”

  “We can handle a week.” She smiled.

  Emily lips longed for more contact. She didn’t feel much like smiling. “I’m not sure I can handle ten minutes.”

  Andi kissed her nose. “Yes, you can.” She gingerly pulled Emily’s hand away from her breast and out of her shirt.

  Emily’s fingers trailed over Andi’s skin as she allowed her hand to be moved. She could see in Andi’s eyes that she was as affected by the contact as Emily was. She hoped Andi would rethink her decision.

  “One week,” Andi said again, this time with obvious difficulty. She gave Emily a slow, tender kiss before releasing her hand and stepping away.

  Andi picked up the loaf of bread from the floor, walked to the counter, and opened the Tupperware container of soup.

  Emily didn’t move. One week? One week.

  “Sit down and I’ll make us lunch.”

  Emily sat in the closest chair. She willed her blood away from her throbbing groin and back into her extremities and head. A week. Okay, I can wait a week. That was only seven days, right? Or maybe only five days, maybe it would be next Friday, like the end of this week. Should she ask? No, she’d sound like an idiot. Pretty sure she’d made a big enough idiot of herself already today.

  “So, when you say a week, do you mean a full seven days or maybe just until Friday?” Emily scrunched up her face. Nice! She couldn’t help herself.

  Andi burst out laughing and Emily couldn’t help but smile. “We’ll see,” Andi said. She crouched down in front of Emily and took both of Emily’s hands in hers. “I’m so glad you told me.”

  “Me too. But right now, I’m trying not to slide off this chair.”

  Andi smiled wide, dimples in tow.

  Okay, I can wait a week for this woman. I can wait the rest of my life for her. She is so worth it. “By the way, do you want to have dinner with me on Friday?” It was all Emily could do not to push Andi over backward and leap on top of her.

  “I would love to have dinner with you on Friday.” Andi stood up. “How about we get through lunch today first?” She kissed the top of Emily’s head and went back to the business of making lunch.

  Friday couldn’t come soon enough.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Emily found herself constantly watching the clock. She seemed to be counting the minutes instead of the days until Friday. “It’s all about light and shadow,” Emily said to her Monday morning class. “Where is your light source coming from? What colors are your cast shadows? And no, shadows aren’t black or gr—”

  She was interrupted by a knock on the door. Emily opened it and came face-to-face with a large bouquet of flowers. Red roses, burgundy carnations, pink alstroemeria, and baby’s breath made their way into the room carried by Mrs. Bowman, the office secretary. She set them down on Emily’s desk.

  “These are for you,” she said. She lowered her voice and put the side of her hand near her mouth. “The card says, ‘Thinking of you’ and it’s signed with the letter ‘A.’” She winked at Emily, and Emily thought for a moment she might even smile. “A very lucky guy, this ‘A’ fellow,” Mrs. Bowman said under her breath as she left the room, closing the door behind.

  The room erupted into laughter.

  “Okay, everybody settle down.” Emily told them. But she couldn’t contain her smile. She slipped the card into her pocket. Thinking of you. Right back atcha, A.

  ***

  Emily was hoping to catch Andi alone in her classroom before she left for lunch today. Alone time with her while working was rare, and they both agreed that a public high school wasn’t the place to be showing affection. So there would be no touching or sneaked kisses. Emily knew it would take a lot of effort on her part to keep from looking longingly at Andi when others were around. She decided to avoid looking at her at all unless they were alone. Easier said than done.

  Emily took the short trek to Andi’s room and stuck her head in the open door. “Got a minute?” Emily asked, as casually as she could.

  Andi looked up from the papers she was grading and smiled. “I do indeed, Miss Sanders. Come in, and feel free to close the door behind you.”

  Emily did as she was told and strolled over to Andi’s desk. “Hi.”

  “Hi yourself.”

  “Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.”

  “Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady.”

  “Mindy wanted me to ask you if you would come over tonight to help her pass out candy for Halloween.”

  “Mindy wants me there, huh?”

  “Yes, Mindy. Oh, I’ll probably talk to you too, while you’re there. It wouldn’t kill me, I guess.” Emily tried to suppress a grin, but it broke free anyway.

  “Yes, in that case, I would love to—for Mindy. I didn’t get too many kids at my house last year and I ended up eating most of the candy myself. This will save me from the same fate. What time should I come over?”

  “Why don’t you come after work and have supper with us,” Emily said.

  “That sounds great. All right if I run home and change first?”

  “I kind of like you just the way you are. But if you insist, I guess that would be fine. Are you going to the teachers’ lounge for lunch today?”

  “I have to catch up on grading.” Andi held up a stack of papers. “But I am going to try to get there if I can. If I don’t see y
ou there, then I’ll see you after work.”

  “Okay, don’t work too hard.” Emily headed in the direction of the teachers’ lounge, looking forward to seeing Andi later.

  ***

  “Mindy, would you get the door, please,” Emily yelled from the kitchen. “It’s probably Andi.”

  She heard Mindy get up from the couch and go to the door. Mindy let out a sound that was half scream and half laugh. Emily came out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a dish towel. Standing in her doorway was a giant monkey. Shaggy black fur, big ears, and a red polka dot bow tie—yep, it was a monkey all right. The creature attempted to give Mindy a banana. She shook her head, put her hands over her mouth, and giggled.

  The monkey offered the banana to Emily. She hesitated a moment before accepting the gift. “Why, thank you, Mr. Monkey,” she said. “Or is it Miss Monkey?”

  The monkey nodded.

  Mindy broke out into another round of giggles.

  “Would you like to come in?” Emily asked the monkey.

  Another nod.

  Emily took the monkey’s hand and led it into the house. I sure hope this is Andi. It might not be a good idea to let just any old monkey off the street into the house. “Andi?” Emily asked.

  The monkey stared at her for several seconds before it bobbed its head in affirmation.

  When they got to the living room Emily said, “Would you care to take your head off?”

  Andi pulled the head of the costume off, sending Mindy into another laughing fit. “What kind of a question is that to ask a guest? Would you care to take your head off? And you should be much more careful about who you let into your house.”

  “Apparently so,” Emily teased. “Where did you get this thing?”

  “What do you mean, where did I get it? I had it hanging in my closet. Doesn’t everyone have a monkey suit hanging in their closet?”

  “I don’t,” Mindy said between giggles.