by Mia Ashlinn
Well, fuck him. Declan didn’t know what was best for Adam any more than he knew what was best for Sarah and Deke. He needed to keep his nose out of Adam’s business or Adam would be forced to break it. It wouldn’t be the first time. More like the third.
Taking one good look at Adam, Kylia glowered. “No. You are not going to fight with your brother again,” she snapped high-handedly as though she’d known exactly what he’d been thinking. “He’s just trying to help you and Deke.”
“What about Sarah?” he asked, keeping a close eye on Kylia. “She is a part of us, too.”
Now more than ever. Since Deke had left a few hours ago, Adam and Sarah had done nothing but talk. Their serious conversation wasn’t out of the norm for them. It was what Sarah had said while they’d talked. She had finally uttered the words he’d been waiting to hear. I want to take a Dom. Then she’d asked him the two questions he’d been aching for her to ask. If things change between the three of us, would you ever consider making me your sub? Do you think Deke would?
Adam had resorted to biting his tongue so he wouldn’t answer her straightaway. At first, she’d panicked and blushed. She’d stammered and finally turned away. But he’d stopped her. Once he explained that he wasn’t saying no, she’d seemed to understand his need to discuss the matter with Deke. However, Adam was worried that his answer would inevitably be no. Although, he couldn’t share his greatest fear with her, not this time, not this one thing.
Denying her would cause her more pain than he was willing to deliver—alone. If Deke chose to refuse her, then, by God, he would do it himself. Adam was sick of doing Deke’s dirty work with Sarah. He loved her. He loved Deke. But he couldn’t continue to be their go-between. That part was over. Their relationship had been reduced to all or nothing. And that made Adam physically ill.
“Yes, Sarah is a part of you two,” Kylia said, nodding her apparent approval. Then she smiled in clear satisfaction. “He knows that. Do you think Declan is a fool? He wants what you do.”
“I doubt that,” Adam retorted, propping his shoulder against the doorframe. “He just wants to fuel his God complex. I swear. He and Deke are two peas in a screwed-up pod.”
They really were. Deke and Declan along with Lucian Lockhart were way too much alike. The trio seemed to act and think identically. Getting the three of them together was a terrible thing for anyone within a three-hundred-mile radius. Thank God Ansley’s older brother wasn’t around much anymore. If he were, Adam would actually be worried for his own health and sanity.
Kylia shook her head. “He’s not fueling his God complex. He’s an older brother protecting his younger brother.”
“Go play shrink somewhere else, KK. I’m not in the mood.”
“Mood for what?” Sarah asked as she strolled up behind him and slid her slender arm around his waist. Peering up at him with her bewitching eyes, she smiled. “Pizza? I’m starved.”
“No,” Kylia answered hastily. “Adam thinks I’m being a therapist. But I’m really being his friend.”
“Sure you are,” Sarah said, clearly trusting Kylia to tell the truth. Since the two of them were friends, Adam couldn’t entirely blame Sarah for believing the other woman, especially since he hadn’t responded in his own defense. “He’s just being a stubborn man. They always think we’re out to fix them.”
Despite his nasty mood and Kylia’s undivided attention, Adam found himself teasing Sarah. “Aren’t you trying to fix me?” he inquired as he hugged her to his side. “I need to be domesticated, you know.”
Sarah giggled before patting his chest with her tiny hand. “Good luck with that. I love you the way you are.”
Even though he knew how she felt, and in spite the fact that she’d told him before, Adam’s heart jumped whenever she said the word love. It might make him cheesy, but it was the truth. With a single word, she gave him the world. Everyone and everything melted away.
Gazing at Sarah, Adam had to fight for control as his body warred with his mind. He craved her. His lips yearned for her kiss, the way she would taste, fresh and innocent like a recently bloomed daisy. He longed to feel her moving against him, her petite body wrapped around his and writhing in ecstasy. He ached to feel his cock sinking into her snug pussy, her juices bathing him and warming him, until he exploded and filled her with his cum.
Defenseless to the arousal flooding him, Adam touched the side of Sarah’s face, needing the connection. She responded by turning and nuzzling the palm of his hand, purring as she did.
Kylia cleared her throat. “We need to get going, Adam. I have an appointment in an hour.”
He’d bet she did—an appointment with his brother. But instead of making a smart-ass remark, he dropped a kiss on his woman’s head and murmured his good-byes to her then started down the hallway. As he’d expected her to, Kylia followed behind him in silence.
When they reached the elevator, Adam pressed the down button. A minute later, the doors opened, and he placed a hand on Kylia’s back then guided her into the elevator where he promptly jabbed the button to the first floor.
As soon as the doors slid closed, Kylia said, “We need to talk. All this nonsense has gone on long enough.”
Rocking back on the heels of his Nike sneakers, Adam glared at the mirror on the ceiling. He didn’t want to talk, not to Kylia. And certainly not about what was going on in his love life. That was private—between him, Deke, and Sarah.
But he knew Kylia. He knew how she worked and thought. Convincing her to butt out would be a challenge, especially while trapped in a car with her. She would probably spend the entire trip back to The Edge pressing all the right buttons to get him to talk. She would shamelessly play on every emotion he felt. And that would be disastrous because after years of being calm and cool, he was ready to blow, and he didn’t know how to deter it.
With everything coalescing around him, just the tiniest thing had the power to set him off. And when he blew, his eruption would make Mount St. Helens look like child’s play.
* * * *
Peering through a barely cracked apartment door at the other end of the hallway, a man watched Adam with Kylia. He knew he had hatred burning in his eyes, but he made no attempt to conceal it. Unlike his time at the club, he didn’t have to make pretenses here. And he wouldn’t. It was a pointless waste of time. The truth was he despised the man. He wanted him to hurt as much as he had. Then he wanted him dead—by his hand.
As Adam and Kylia disappeared into the elevator, he had to fight the urge to punch something or, even better, someone. That rat bastard had some serious gall coming in this building with Deke, pawing at Sarah as though she belonged to him. Then again, it was Adam Stanton. The greedy asshole probably believed Sarah and Deke were his personal possessions. After all, he thought he was king of the motherfucking world. And as ruler, everything and everyone belonged to him, right?
Wrong. Adam was nothing. He was a peon, a minion, who took what he wanted and damn the consequences. Well, life didn’t work that way. Stealing the loves of someone’s life had repercussions. And it was time for him to learn that fact in the most painful way possible.
Chapter 7
Ten minutes later, Adam leaned back and reclined against the plush leather seat in Kylia’s Audi. He stared out the windshield, pretending to watch the scenery drift by as Kylia puttered down the long, straight road leading to The Edge. She was driving slow, way too slow, and he considered offering to take over. But he knew she would deny him. She was clearly moving at the pace of a snail on purpose. And it was beginning to piss him the hell off.
Frustrated, Adam swallowed a growl. He was ready to get out of this car and away from Kylia, preferably before she started in on him. But no, he was stuck sitting here in the passenger-side seat, waiting like a lamb for slaughter. He hated that. There were not many things he despised more than being at someone else’s mercy.
Impatiently, he tapped his fingers on the door armrest. “I’m tired of waiting. Let’s get this
over with, Kylia.”
His friend swung her blonde head to the side and arched an eyebrow at him. “Get what over with?” she asked with obviously feigned ignorance.
Annoyed, Adam glowered. “You know what.”
Returning her attention to the road, Kylia sighed. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
No, he wasn’t ready. He doubted he ever would be. Sharing his thoughts and feelings with Deke and Sarah was one thing. But this he didn’t like. This he didn’t want. So he was surprised when “Sure,” flew out of his mouth without his permission.
“All right. What would you like to talk about?”
Adam snorted. “I don’t want to talk about any of it. But you’ll hound me until I do.”
Reaching down, Kylia adjusted the heater. “Do I look like I’m hounding you?”
Of course she didn’t. That wasn’t how she rolled. “Kylia, I’m not in the mood for games. You say what you have to say, and that’ll be the end of it.”
Kylia laughed. But the noise sounded more sarcastic than amused. “You’re not in the mood for games? From where I’m sitting, you’re all about playing games.”
Suddenly uncomfortable, Adam shifted in his seat. “Excuse me?”
“You know what I mean,” she replied. “The whole Deke, Adam, Sarah saga has turned into nothing but a game. And if it doesn’t stop, Sarah’s going to get hurt.” Pausing, she turned on her blinker and checked her mirror before slowly changing lanes. “She’s finally standing on her own two feet, and the two of you are threatening that newfound freedom by trapping her between you and playing tug-of-war. She doesn’t need that. She needs two men who can give her everything. Otherwise, she’s just going to end up hurt and confused.”
“You think I’m yanking her chain?”
Kylia rolled her eyes. “I know you’re yanking her chain. But not as much as Deke is.” With a drawn-out sigh, she said, “He’s going to break her, if he keeps doing this. Pulling her in then pushing her out isn’t healthy.”
Despite his anger, Adam felt the urge to defend Deke. “Kylia, you know how he is.”
Kylia nodded. “Yes, I do. He’s told me about his neglectful parents, just like he told me about the high school girlfriend who broke his heart and publicly shredded his pride. And of course, I was there for Megan.”
Oh yeah. Their entire inner circle had been there for Megan. But Kylia had been especially pivotal. She’d been the only other person Deke had talked to during those dark days. Hell, she’d been the one who’d helped Adam and Deke find their way back to each other when Deke had shut him out. She’d practically pushed them back together after Deke had broken up with him over all of the emotional garbage he’d been going through.
“She fucked him up.” Adam continued to defend his partner.
Kylia nodded, and replied softly, “He’s going to fuck Sarah up. And you’re going to, too.”
Aghast, Adam demanded, “What the hell are you talking about? How am I going to fuck Sarah up? I’d die before I hurt her. I love her. Damn it.”
Kylia glanced at him. The patronization in her gaze made him want to punch something. “I’m not disputing your love for her. No one can dispute that. What I’m talking about is the limbo she’s living in. You can’t claim her and Deke won’t claim her. So she’s trapped between both of you. And the fact that you and Deke are spiraling doesn’t help.”
Adam scrubbed his hands across his face in agitation. “What do you want me to do about Deke? I can’t change the past.”
“You’re right,” Kylia agreed. “You can’t change the past. But you can help him move on.”
Adam nearly laughed. He felt like he’d spent a lifetime helping his partner move on and failing every damn time. “How exactly can I do that?”
Kylia glanced at him, her expression surprisingly open. “We both know that he can’t spend his entire life being that five-year-old boy whose parents were too selfish to love him. You would think having a foster mother as loving as Beth would’ve helped, but it didn’t.”
No, it hadn’t helped. From what Deke had told him, he’d struggled to connect with his foster mother and his foster brother, Shane. The only one he’d attached to quickly was Sarah. And she hadn’t moved into another nearby foster home until seven years later.
Kylia clearing her throat garnered his attention. “God knows that he can’t continue to live with the guilt Megan saddled him with. She had psychological issues. It had nothing to do with him. But he can’t seem to see that.”
No, he couldn’t. Deep down, Adam suspected that Megan was the real reason Deke kept Sarah at arm’s length. The woman they’d shared in college had really done a number on his partner when she’d killed herself and blamed him in the note she left behind. Now, it was like Deke feared the same fate happening to Sarah. But he needed to realize that Sarah wasn’t Megan. Thank God for that. Megan had been selfish and vain and if she’d lived, she would have destroyed everything between him and Deke. Her jealousy and possessiveness had already created tension among the two of them as well as their friends. Only Deke didn’t remember that part of their dysfunctional relationship.
Restless, Adam crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t you think I’ve tried to help him let go of the past? He won’t do it.”
Kylia shook her head. “You haven’t tried, Adam. Not really.”
“What would you call the last seventeen years?”
“A waste,” she countered easily and swiftly. “A huge waste.”
Adam couldn’t hold back his snarl. “Fuck you, Kylia.”
Kylia didn’t so much as bat an eyelash. “You are a giver, and Deke is a taker. Instead of forcing him to own up to who and what he is, you’ve enabled him. You’ve done it for years. But now, you have to think about Sarah and how it will affect her.”
His temperature rose. “I know that I need to think of Sarah,” he snapped.
“But you aren’t,” Kylia retorted. “If you were, you would have stood up for what you want before now. If you truly loved her, you would have fought for her instead of rolling over and playing dead with Deke.”
Adam bristled. This conversation was getting out of hand. “I’m done. Talk over.”
Shrugging, Kylia said, “Whatever you want. I just think it’s time you looked at yourself.”
Adam thought about responding, but he figured it wouldn’t help. Kylia would merely spew more psycho-babble. So instead of speaking, he turned his head away from her and glared out the side window. But predictably, Kylia had to get in the last word. “Sometimes we get so busy trying to fix others that we forget to fix ourselves.”
* * * *
With a scowl meant to scare secured to his face, Adam jogged up the stairs to the third floor of The Edge and tore down the hallway leading to Deke’s office. He swiftly stalked by one door after another, each unmarked room blending into the next. The wall sconces fastened on each side of the corridor lit his way, but the subtle illumination shining off them bled together after a while.
Adam passed a group of male club members outside Calen Kohler’s office, throwing up his hand and waving it in their direction when they attempted to speak to him. He didn’t have time to answer Sutton’s questions or listen to BR’s bitching. And he definitely didn’t want to deal with Cameron and Connor complaining about their brother and his new sub. He would handle the Doms’ drama later, once he actually got his head on straight.
Breathing as evenly and calmly as he could manage, Adam came to a screeching halt in front of Deke’s door. But he didn’t throw it open and launch into an attack on his brother or his partner. He needed to settle down first. Guns blaring and grenade throwing wasn’t the way to go with either man. Adam had to be centered beforehand.
After the last thirty minutes, Adam was concerned that relaxing was simply not possible. Between Kylia’s psychoanalysis in the car and being cornered by Ansley in the stairwell, he was tired. He was pissed. And he was ready to fight with someone. Since his brother was the one
who’d created all of today’s havoc by being some sort of strange Cupid, he got the first punch.
Thinking back, Adam was amazed that two people could drive him to this point in such a short time span. God, Ansley had some serious talent at pushing his buttons. He didn’t know what insulted him more—the fact that she’d accused him of not loving Sarah enough to fight for her or being too whipped to stand up to Deke. Oh, he shouldn’t forget her comments about no longer respecting him as a Dom, being disappointed in him as a friend, and not liking who he had become. But the worst of it came when she’d fucking dared him to grow some balls.
And shit, Kylia might have been more subtle than her friend when they’d talked, but she’d still put the screws to him. Deep down, he wondered if she hadn’t disturbed him more with her pointed jabs than Ansley had with her insult flinging. God knew that Kylia had actually hurt him with several of her accusations. Even more than that, she’d worried him, too. He wouldn’t let this—whatever this bullshit situation was—between the three of them continue, not at the expense of Sarah. She’d been through too much for them to fuck her up now.
The longer Adam dwelled on his arguments with Kylia and Ansley, the higher his blood pressure soared. He swore his head was going to explode any minute now.
Gulping in air, Adam tried to regain control. But after several minutes passed, he gave up on being level-headed. He wasn’t going to be any calmer now than he would be in five seconds, five minutes, or five hours. Being relaxed just wasn’t in the cards for him today.
Latching on to the door handle, Adam pressed his thumb to the fingerprint reader The Edge’s Techno God, Wyatt Thorpe, had installed last year. When the LED light lit up, the lock clicked and unlocked. In a hurry, Adam flung the door open and found exactly what he’d expected—Deke and Declan arguing heatedly.
As he crossed the threshold, Adam was surrounded by the heavy tension that stifled the air around him. Uncomfortable, he stopped abruptly. Maybe, now wasn’t the time for him to blow sky-high. His self-preservation instinct told him to hold back, to keep his anger on a leash until he found out what they were going at it about. The irrational, caveman side of him told him to get out the club and start bashing. Not surprisingly, the barbaric side won out.