by B. J. Scott
“I know you are confused, but if you’re willing to listen, I can explain, Catriona.”
“No. Catriona fell to her death. Or did I?” She raked a shaky hand through her hair. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
“Will you listen to what I have to say, Catriona? If, after I am finished, you want me to leave, I’ll go and never bother you again.”
His shoulders slumped and the look of sadness on his face broke her heart. She wanted to comfort him, the way he had her. But he believed she was Catriona and that was impossible. She wanted to tell him she understood, but she couldn’t comprehend any of this. After giving it some thought, she decided she really had no choice but to hear him out. He was blocking her means of escape and perhaps she’d finally find out once and for all what was happening to her. “Explain. Please.”
Chapter Twenty Five
Ayden held out his hand, but she refused to take it. Instead, Katherine crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head.
Obviously getting her point and realizing her need for some space, he kept his distance. “There is so much to tell you, I’m na sure where to start.”
“Start at the beginning. Nothing that’s happened to me from the moment I landed in Scotland makes any sense,” she said. “How about explaining to me about the lawyers I met with when I arrived. I have a strong suspicion those strange men had a hand in what’s happening.”
Ayden grinned. “You might say that. They actually had a lot to do with it. But best you sit down, this may take a while.”
“I’m fine where I am. Go ahead and explain.”
“What I have to say might sound mad at times, but please hear me out,” Ayden raked his fingers through his hair. “Malcolm MacBain and Duncan Murray are not really lawyers. They are ancient Druid priests known as Ovates, shamans who have the ability to travel through time and grant the same to a mortal man if they so choose.”
“I normally would laugh at such a notion, but having traveled to 1304 and back, I have to accept it as true. But why me? Why now?”
“You’ve read Catriona’s journal, and when in the past, you lived her life, experienced what she did, felt what she felt, both good and bad.” Ayden sucked in a ragged breath, then continued. “You also know the passion we shared for each other. I loved her more than life itself and leaving her behind to go to Stirling was the hardest thing I had ever done. I thought of her every waking moment. I dreamed about her every night. It was the thought of going home to her that gave me the strength to stay alive. When I returned and was told she’d killed herself, I refused to believe it. She loved life too much, and was too brave to give up that easily. But she was gone and here was no changing that.”
Katherine moved a little closer and rested her hand on his forearm. “I know you loved her very much, and she loved you. But I’m not her.”
“When I leaned of Catriona’s death, I was beside myself with grief, and didn’t want to live. It was then I remembered a tale I’d heard about a man who lost his wife in childbirth and rather than accept her death, he asked the Druids for help, begged them to take his life and give it to her so she and their child would live. Instead they asked for an item that belonged to his wife, her most treasured possession. He gave them a brooch that once belonged to her mother.”
“How could an object like a pin reunite them?”
“The Druids took the brooch and using an ancient spell opened a portal in time. One in which the young man could travel and search for the soul of his wife. He’d know when he found her, because she’d recognize the pin.”
“This is an interesting story, but what has it to do with my traveling back in time or any of the other things that happened?”
The Druids were MacBain and Murray. I went to them and asked to be reunited with Catriona, so I could tell her once more how much I loved her and find out if she had taken her own life. I gave them our wedding ring, the only token I had left of our love. I knew when she saw it, we’d be reunited. The only condition was that I could not search for Catriona until I, too, was dead, my soul in exchange for finding my beloved.”
Katherine gasped. “You were willing to sell your soul, and die so you could be reunited with her?” She was deeply touched by the depth of his devotion to his wife and longed for that sort of adoration from the man she loved. And while she believed Ayden was that man, she needed to know he was committed to her, loved her, and not the memory of Catriona.
Ayden nodded. “Aye, I loved her that much. But I dinna have to wait long to begin my quest to find her, her brother saw to that.”
“Warren killed you? But why? You were friends.” She found this news shocking. Lord Grant did not approve of Catriona and Ayden’s relationship, but she honestly believed Warren supported it. He and Ayden were like brothers.
“He killed me because I married his sister without their father’s blessing, took her virtue, then left her behind to go to battle. Worse, he thought I killed his father.”
Her brow furrowed. “I don’t understand.”
“After I made my pact with the Druids, I went to see Lord Grant. I wanted to visit Catriona’s grave, but he refused to allow me anywhere near it. He blamed me for her death and swore I would pay for ruining his daughter. Before I could reason with him, he drew his sword, declared that because of me, she fell and he demanded my life for hers.” Ayden clutched a hand to his chest. “His words were like a dagger through my heart and I’d have gladly gone to my death if it would have brought her back. Life without her was meaningless. We struggled and he fell on the blade.
“When I saw her father’s lifeless body on the ground, run through on his own sword, I didn’t know what to do. It was at that moment Warren made the decision for me. I heard him shout as he raced toward me. I felt the burn of the blade as it tore into my chest and saw the hatred in his eyes of the man I loved like a brother, as he hovered over me and cursed me for taking his family.”
“I read the journal, and also saw for myself the bitter man Lord Grant was. I’m sure he left you no choice. You killed him in self-defense, Ayden, and were not to blame.”
A tear slid down his cheek and he scrubbed it away with his fist. “Nay. They were both right. Your father was dead because I dinna back down. Catriona fell to her death because I wasna there to protect her,” he muttered softly. “I have carried the burden of their deaths and roamed the earth for seven hundred years, hoping for a chance to make amends and to hopefully set an ancient wrong to right.” He inched closer and held out his hand.
While her heart was breaking for him, she had to remain strong. She couldn’t let herself believe it was her he loved. “What makes you so sure I’m the woman you were seeking? It is a very romantic thought, but I don’t see how it is possible. I wasn’t even born in Scotland. I wish I could tell you what you want to hear, but I don’t know how I can live in Catriona’s shadow.”
“Not everything in life is explainable. Sometimes you have to trust your heart.” He thumped his fist against his chest. “I have been allowed to travel once every fifty years, and each time I return to this cottage, the place that links Catriona and me, the place she was laid to rest and where I died at the hand of her brother. I have done this for seven hundred years and not until now was I certain I found you, Catriona. But I wasn’t completely certain until you traveled back in time, then I knew for sure.”
He moved forward and drew her into his arms, lowered his head, and kissed her with purpose. “Tell me I’m wrong, that you dinna feel the fire and passion we share. Come home with me, Ceit. I adore you and want to spend the rest of our days making up for all the time we’ve lost.”
As much as she wanted to resist, it was impossible for her to deny her unbridled passion for Ayden, or to mask her desire to have him hold her in his arms and never let go. If only he could make the past go away and they could start fresh, like they were meeting for the first time. She melted against his chest, took his tongue into her mouth, and allowed him to plunder with
out mercy. Her knees grew weak and she clutched his shirt for support. Her head spinning and her body afire, she returned his kiss with equal enthusiasm. But quickly came to her senses and pushed him away.
“I admit I have feelings for you Ayden. Stronger than any I have ever felt for any man. But it doesn’t mean I’m Catriona. It’s the memory of her you love, not me. And to ask me to go back to 1304 and live her life is not only impossible in theory, but you’re forgetting something very important. Catriona died and so did you. There is no future for us as a couple in the past.”
“We dinna know that to be true. Now that MacConnery has paid with his life for betraying his countrymen and for pushing Catriona off the cliff, the ancient wrongs can be righted. Your father will have no reason to challenge me, so he doesn’t need to die. Warren will then have no cause to kill me either.”
“And what of Catriona? She fell to her death. Twice. It doesn’t matter if she was pushed or jumped, she died. If what you claim is true, then why did she fall the second time when you were there to stop it? If I am Catriona and was meant to stay in the past, why was I brought back to my own time period?”
With his hands planted firmly on her shoulders, he gave her a gentle shake. “I don’t know what happened that day either. Perhaps we never will. Maybe we were sent back so you could take care of unfinished business.”
“Ethan?”
“Aye, his spirit was evil and he was determined to possess you before he died, and was even more determined after. But now his soul has been sent to the netherworld, he can never bother you again.”
“The words you said over his body. Was it some sort of spell to keep him from ever coming back?” She cast him a wary glance, fear tugging at her gut as she tried to edge away.
“I was given the words by MacBain. He never told me what they meant or when to use them, he simply said I would know the time was right. And I did.”
“That still doesn’t prove I’m Catriona.”
“You are Catriona in spirit and soul. I’ve found you, ma gaol, and have been granted the chance to make amends, to beg your forgiveness, and to prove you dinna kill yourself.” He reached into a small pouch and withdrew a round, silver object. “And I also needed to give you this.” He handed her the ring. “You must now make a decision.”
“A decision?”
“Come home where you belong, Catriona. We’ve lost so much time and I promise to make it up to you.”
Katherine stared at the ring. “Forever and Beyond.” She murmured the words without the need to look inside at the inscription, then clenched her fist around the wedding band. She remembered the swell of emotion she felt when she read the sentimental words and they had an even more powerful effect on her now, bringing her to tears.
“Fate brought us together in the present, Catriona. The ring has reunited us with memories from the past. Come home with me.” He hooked his finger under her chin and raised it until their gazes met. “We belong together. We always have.”
“I don’t know what to say, Ayden, what to think. My mind is spinning like a top and I need time to catch my breath, time to think.”
Releasing his hold on her, he took a step back and lowered his gaze. “I just assumed you’d want to be with me.”
He looked crushed by her words and she didn’t want to hurt him, but she had serious reservations about returning to the past or if she could survive there. “It’s not that simple. I was born in the twenty-first century. I have a home, a job, and a life here. Trying to make me fit in 1304 is like trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. I am not like the meek, subservient women you are accustomed to in your time period. I like to have my voice heard and my needs considered. I want to be free to come and go as I please and not have to obey anyone.” She released a sigh. “I have to consider all those things before I jump in with both feet.”
“You only have until midnight to choose. After that, it will be too late.”
“Why ‘til then? I can’t possibly make such an important decision so quickly.”
“Tonight is the eve of the Summer Solstice. At the final stroke of midnight, the portal to the past will close for another fifty years. That is if I am allowed to come back again,” Ayden said. “Now that the errors of the past have been set to right and you are no longer in danger from Ethan, I suspect my journey will end here, this night.”
“I don’t know what to say, what to do.” Her head began to pound as if it were about to burst.
“Say you love me. Now that I’ve found you, I canna bear to lose you again.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” she said, and ran from the room.
Chapter Twenty Six
Katherine entered her chamber and slammed the door behind her, relieved when Ayden didn’t follow. This was all too much to take in at once and there was no way she could make a decision that would change her entire life forever on the spur of the moment. She’d followed her heart rather than her head when it came to Ethan and had learned her lesson the hard way.
She’d never regret meeting Ayden or the intimate time they’d shared. And being his wife, even if for only one night, was something she’d cherish as long as she lived. She loved Ayden so much she ached for him. That she couldn’t deny. He was all she thought about when awake, and he’d visited her dreams for as long as she could remember.
The knowledge she’d helped to prove Catriona death was not a suicide and had revealed the truth about Ewan MacConnery’s treachery, thrilled her. But to go back to 1304 and stay there, to pick up someone else’s life where they left off, and resume a marriage with a man who was in love with a memory of another woman was too much to ask. They may share a name, ancestry, and perhaps they even shared a soul, but Katherine was not sure she could share her heart. And to only give her until midnight to decide was insane. She’d taken longer to decide on a cocktail dress for a charity benefit and it had nothing to do with changing her life forever.
Katherine began to pace. There was so much to consider if returning to the fourteenth century was even possible. True, she’d done it once, but could she do it again? Aside from her career, she really had nothing to keep her in the twenty-first century. Once she’d acclimated herself to life in the 1300s and learned to live without some of the modern luxuries she’d become dependent on — like cell phones, computers, running water, and toilets — she had been happy.
Loneliness was never an issue either. Not in an estate filled with servants and constant visitors. Cora had started to feel more like a mother than a servant. The woman had such a kind heart and bent over backwards to please her. She had a brother, something she’d always wanted, and she considered Lily both a sister and a friend. If she didn’t go back, she’d miss them all so much.
And having a handsome loving, considerate man like Ayden by her side would certainly not be a hardship. She had no doubt her life would be filled with passion and hopefully many babies. She chuckled and slid her hand over her belly. When she learned she was pregnant, a joy like she’d never known before filled her. She wondered if she might still be expecting a child, but couldn’t see how a seven hundred year pregnancy could be possible.
She sat on the edge of the bed, her visits with Seonag coming to mind. The old seer told her she was Catriona and that they were one in the same, that they not only looked identical, but shared the same soul. Katherine scratched her head. She still had not quite figured out how that was possible, but she’d learned not to question the unknown or the validity of one’s destiny. And after all she’d experienced, it shouldn’t have surprised her that Noreen was Seonag in present day form.
Tiger jumped on the bed, let out a loud meow, then sat — staring up at Katherine as if he knew exactly what she was thinking about.
“Hey, buddy.” She scratched behind his ears. “And are you a part of all this too?” She’d once read about animals who were believed to be linked to witches and the fae. Familiars, they were called. It wouldn’t surprise her in the least if the cat had been
sent to her by Seonag and was not a stray looking for a home.
Her thoughts again shifted back to the seer. She told her once she figured out what was truly important in life, the answers would be clear. When she was in the 1300s, Seonag told her she was home and no longer lost. Again, Katherine recounted all she’d accomplished during her time in 1304.
By uncovering the truth that MacConnery was responsible for Catriona’s death, they had set the wrong to right. Catriona had be vindicated and freed from the lie that she’d committed suicide, her soul no longer condemned to walk the earth. She could now rest in peace. Because her father could not blame Ayden for Catriona’s death, there was no reason for them to quarrel, or for Lord Grant to accidently die at Ayden’s hand, which in turn meant Warren wasn’t faced with killing his best friend or the lifetime of guilt and remorse that accompanied the act.
Katherine cradled her face in her hands. There were so many good reasons for her to go back. Except for the fact she wasn’t sure Ayden truly loved her and not just a memory, she couldn’t honestly think of one reason to stay in the twenty-first century. So why was the decision so hard?
The cat purred loudly, then began pawing at Catriona’s journal that lay on the bed beside him.
“You know the answers, Catriona. When you figure out what is important all will be as it should be.” Seonag’s prophecy echoed in her head.
Katherine glanced down at Catriona’s journal. Though she’d already read every passage, the entries had ended abruptly, leaving her wondering. She lifted the leather-bound book and lay it in her lap, reverently thumbing through the pages as she’d done before. But this time, when she came to the final entry and turned the page, she paused, her eyes wide and her mouth gaping open in surprise. She took a double look to be sure is wasn’t her imagination, but the once empty pages now had entries. The last one was in Catriona’s hand and dated well after the day she fell to her death, or so everyone thought.