by Lucian Bane
He watched her walk off and took the paper, heading inside. Lying in bed, he turned on the lamp and looked at it. The first thing that hit him was her handwriting. She clearly took it to be an art. He’d never seen such fancy script outside of old texts. He studied her eating habits, finding them satisfactory. As was her activity.
He read her symptoms and paused at I have bouts of crying. Anger. And desire.
Desire? What did that mean? What kind? Exactly the details he needed and didn’t care to ask.
He noticed a line at the bottom and his heart hammered as he read. If you have any needs Dante. Any at all, I would be very happy to meet them.
The fuck did that mean? His dick interpreted twenty sexual positions out of it. He sat up, staring at the words, looking for a way to interpret it in a good light. It didn’t match up with her. If she meant that, then he was entirely wrong about her and that would be very upsetting since he was just warming up to the fact that maybe the husband was a bastard and lying to him.
****
Rin had waited all night for Dante and he didn’t come. What did that mean? She felt like it meant maybe he didn’t understand her note. It wasn’t exactly spelled out. Writing what she had was hard enough, she found spelling it out was too difficult. And now she wasn’t sure what he thought and a thousand negatives played in her head.
She’d know when she saw him at breakfast. She went through her clothes, selecting what to wear. Yesterday she’d dressed presentable and in very modest attire. For the first time in seven years, she wanted to dress and feel … desirable.
She decided that maybe she would swim and so put on her white one piece bathing suit then put her sheer wrap on around it. She didn’t have much breasts but they were decent she thought. But what did she know other than there were many kinds of all shapes and sizes and she had the smaller shaped kind, nothing more. She certainly didn’t know which were considered good to a man.
Her shaking limbs froze on her way downstairs, considering that one reoccurring thought. What if he had understood and didn’t want anything from her of that sort? But … why wouldn’t he? Would he think it was wrong? Every part of her felt like it was wrong and she was doing it out of obedience, or maybe spiteful obedience, not because she thought it was good or right. She felt like good and right would mean Daryl would love her and not share her with anybody else.
She took a few more steps and froze again when the thought hit her like a punch in the stomach, making her gasp. Did Daryl share himself with others? If he shared her, why wouldn’t he share himself? He didn’t do pleasure with her but did that mean he didn’t do it with any woman? Was it only with her that he deprived himself pleasure with? She got sick at feeling a small tinge of joy that he’d deprive himself of pleasure only with her as though that made her somehow special to him. But why would he try to create children with other women while trying so hard to do that with her?
She hated how stupid she was about everything. She knew nothing of sexual things. She wanted to use the internet again and try to find answers. She already had the bad images in her mind and they weren’t going away, so why would having more change it?
Her stomach leapt as she considered an idea. What if she asked Dante? What if she asked Dante to find her a book about it? That would certainly avoid her insulting him and humiliating herself in case he was not like Daryl. Something told her that not all men were like her husband, especially after how soft Dante touched her. She was sure that it somehow defined him, who he was. At least she hoped he wasn’t like Daryl. And then… in this case… maybe she hoped he was like him.
But then that would mean he wouldn’t care about her so she definitely didn’t want him to be like him.
At seeing Dante sitting at the table by the pool, she asked Renee to bring breakfast to them when it was ready then headed out with her coffee. “Morning,” she called.
He looked up and she smiled, noticing right away how his eyes lowered over her before he turned back to his book with a, “Morning.”
She sat at the other chair. “Sleep well?” she asked.
“Very,” he muttered. His tone set her stomach quivering. He sounded upset about something. God she hoped it wasn’t about what she’d put on her notes. Now she wished she’d not done it and felt the need to explain it away somehow. “I realized how my note at the bottom of my nutritional data sounded and wanted to assure you it is not to be taken in an improper way.”
“Very glad to hear that,” he said, making her cheeks burn with shame. So he wasn’t like Daryl. Part of her wanted to rejoice while another part of her wanted to cry.
“I have questions that I need help with and I’m having difficulty with finding the answers.”
He put his book down and looked at her. “Like what?”
She stared with the words right there on her tongue but they refused to let go. “Sexual ones,” she finally managed.
His gaze narrowed. “You should ask your husband those.”
“What if he doesn’t like to talk about it?”
“I’m sure he will.”
“And I’m sure he won’t,” she said, getting angry. “The statement was not unfounded conjecture, Dante. It’s the facts.”
He took a deep breath and scratched his forehead. “What … kind of questions, Rin?”
“Basic ones.”
“Without getting too specific, because I really don’t like talking about this with a married woman, please try to be more exact.”
After much thinking of what she wanted to know and how to say it without feeling ashamed for not knowing, she finally said, “Maybe you can direct me to a book that covers all of the questions,” she said quietly. “I can’t seem to find a way to ask the questions without it being inappropriate.”
“I can help with that.”
He sounded relieved. “Something with no pictures, please. If that’s possible.”
“I’ll do my best. Do you have a reading device?”
“I have a phone and a computer.”
“You have a cell phone?”
“Yes.”
“You can read on the computer or the cell phone,” he said.
Technology wasn’t her strong suit. “Can you tell me how?”
“Yes, of course.” She felt his eyes on her and she met his confused look. “Don’t you have women from the church you could ask?”
She gave a dry laugh.
“I guess not,” he said.
“You guessed right. The barren sinner wants to know about sex. I don’t think so.”
“Do they really think that?”
The doubt in his tone struck a nerve and she glared at him.
“Sorry,” he said, raising both hands. “I just have a hard time imagining people would be that stupid and cruel.”
It amazed her how he seemed to be able to read her eyes. Her heart hammered at hearing his feelings on the matter and how it matched hers. “I agree, Mr. Dante. Very stupid and cruel. But it doesn’t help my ignorance on the subject.”
He angled his head at her. “So how can you not know anything about sex while being married?”
“I know how to do the creation parts but that’s all.”
“The creation parts,” he repeated.
“So this is all stupid,” she said, hearing it in his tone. Just as she feared, she should know these things.
“It’s not stupid, no, I’m sorry if it sounded like that. But … it’s … hard to imagine.”
“Whatever you do, don’t infer I’m lying because that will … certainly be upsetting.” She wanted to say something stronger but didn’t want to offend him.
“I’m not, no,” he said shaking his head and looking down. “I’ll find you sufficient material that will … answer your questions and download it to your phone to read.”
She nodded. “Good. I’ll get my phone. Then after, I think I will take you up on that swim suggestion.”
“Great,” she heard him say as she headed inside. But it soun
ded more like he was disgusted, not happy. A bad feeling formed in her stomach as she wondered why he’d be disgusted over that. Did he not want to see her? What else could it be?
She brought the phone to him. “I’m not a harlot,” she said, handing it to him.
He looked up at her. “I didn’t think you were, Rin. You don’t strike me as the harlot type.”
“Good,” she said, swallowing a flood of emotion as he took her phone. She looked at the pool and suddenly lost her nerve to remove her bathing suit wrap. Maybe she’d just sit first. Walking to the water’s edge, she sat on the warm tile. A few moments later, she glanced back and found him still messing with her phone.
“There,” he said, standing. “And no pictures in this book.”
She turned her upper body. “What is the book?”
He walked over and sat, making her stomach clench with her racing heart even though over a foot separated them. He proceeded to show her how to get at the book while her eyes strayed over the swirly white designs carved into every inch of his arm. She wanted to touch them. Quickly she snapped her eyes to the phone and read the title out loud. “I’ll start now,” she said, curious.
“I’ll be inside working up your protocol. I ran your blood work this morning and you’re short on several minerals.”
She eyed his broad backside as he went in, making her way to the lounge chair. The news of her mineral levels was lost to the title of the book. The moment her eyes read it, she was consumed. My Dark Lover.
She reclined on the chair and jumped right in. After the first page, she looked around for him. This wasn’t a how to, this was a story. She read on, guessing he knew that. It was in chapter two that it happened. The hottest fire she’d ever felt began to snake through her body. She darted her gaze around, feeling like it was obvious to anybody who would glance at her. Surely they would see it burning, burning in private places.
As she read, she became so engrossed in the flames, in the things the man was doing to the woman and her to him. She could hardly breathe from it, the way he talked to her, touched her, dear God.
“How’s it going?”
She screamed and nearly fell out of her chair. “Oh my God, you scared me!” She hid the phone on the side of her leg, her face on fire with shame.
“Sorry about that. You finding any answers that help you?”
“No,” she said, realizing she’d not thought. “Yes. I think. I don’t know, I … I’m. I’m still reading, I barely started, it’s early to tell,” she lied.
“Take your time. Go slow. Absorb all of it.”
She wanted to see his face while he said that in the tone he used. Go slow. The man in the story had gone very slow, touching her down there. Mercy, she needed to do something else, she couldn’t read that in front of him.
“I think I need to swim.” She stood and walked to the pool, again confronted with the struggle of removing her wrap. “Think I’ll go shower instead.” She raced to the chair, snatched up the phone and headed inside. To her room. No, to her closet. To read. She needed to read more, all of it as quickly as she could.
CHAPTER FIVE
SEXUAL SINS
Dante was genuinely baffled now. She acted like a fucking virgin. Literally. And she wasn’t. He decided it was time to compare answers with her husband somehow and picked up his phone, calling him.
“Dante,” he answered, excited. “How’s it going?”
“Well, I drew her blood and got the levels back. She’s extremely low on a couple of minerals that would interfere with child bearing.”
The man gasped. “Praaaaaaaaaise God! I knew you were a godsend! Did you tell her? How did she take that news?”
“Fine, she seems happy.” Although she’d actually seemed bored. “Can I ask you a few questions, compare notes?”
“Uh oh, sure,” he said. “Hit me.”
“How … sheltered is your wife?”
“Very,” he cried. “She doesn’t want to go to church—”
“Yeah, about that,” Dante said. “Does the church know about her problem?”
“Of course they do,” he said. “We’re family.”
“How do they feel about it?”
He gave several incredulous gasps. “Like any family would feel about it. They’re grieving with us. They don’t understand why she has abandoned them, they all love her to pieces.”
Right. Figured he’d get the opposite story.
“I know she thinks otherwise and no matter how many ways I tell her the opposite, she doesn’t believe me, Dante,” he cried. “I know she blames herself. She blames herself for her parent’s death too.”
“Why?” he wondered, gazing around to make sure she wasn’t around.
“They both had a stroke the same day, exactly seven days after her and I were married and she left home. I say it was the love of God to let them go home together but she thinks marrying me killed them. But I think that’s typical zero sibling syndrome if you ask me. It happens, they get dependent on the parents and since they were old, she felt responsible for them. No amount of consoling her on that front changes that.”
“I see,” he said. “Taking notes. I appreciate that, it clears up a lot.”
“Sure thing, anything else? Did you come up with a time frame and price?”
“I’m thinking six weeks would be long enough to effect real change, but I’d need to monitor all her levels daily.”
“Fantastic!” he cried. “What do I owe you, I want to pay up front.”
“For that length of time, I usually charge twenty-thousand but since I’m staying here, I’ll go fifteen.”
“Absolutely will pay the whole amount, it’s worth it. And a workman is worthy of his hire. And is she treating you okay?”
“Me?”
He laughed. “I mean is she being a good host? We like to treat our guests like royalty, that’s our tradition. Meet all needs.”
Dante raised his brows as the bastard inclinations about the man resurfaced. “She’s been nothing but respectful and kind.”
“Good, good,” he said. Dante felt he wanted to say more and as much as he wanted all the details he really didn’t want to hear anything that would confirm that level of debauchery with the dude. “I don’t want to overstep, but I know a man has his needs and if you don’t mind, I would prefer you not have anybody else over while working there.”
“Definitely not a problem,” Dante said rolling his eyes.
“Are you sure? Six weeks is a long time.”
“Mr. Bernard, I don’t know what kind of people you’re used to dealing with, but fucking a woman every day isn’t part of my requirements as a man. I don’t need it and I don’t want it and would appreciate us not discuss my sexual needs or habits.”
“Perfectly understandable. And I apologize if I’ve offended you. I just know that with your past, that maybe—”
Fuck. “My past?”
“Well, you’re prison record,” he said, carefully.
So he did know. “Then you should know that I can go a very long time without sex.”
“Well, you really didn’t have a choice,” he laughed. “No disrespect but I would guess after getting out you’d have a lot to make up for!”
Dante didn’t laugh. “Mr. Bernard, in my eyes, sex in marriage is a sacred bond between two people and I would never come between that, you can be sure. Nor would I disrespect you or your wife.”
“Well, now brother, I have to remind you that the Lord permitted many wives—”
“And I’ll remind you that men of God should be husbands of one wife. New Testament,” Dante smirked. “That trumps your old law, I do believe.”
The man was speechless, no surprise there. “Amen to that,” he finally stuttered. “Look I’d love to talk more about this, but work’s calling. We’ll continue this later.”
“Would love to discuss it anytime,” Dante said, letting him know he’d wipe the floor with his sick little religious takes on sex. God to hear him say
that about more than one wife made him sick and shed a new and very dark light on the man in his eyes. Dante wasn’t a saint, he knew that and he owned it. But it was because he knew what a saint was that allowed him to know just how saintly he wasn’t. Or this dude wasn’t.
The only difference was, Dante didn’t pretend he was something he wasn’t.
He paced in his room, his anger and disgust growing by the second as well as his need to know what the hell was going on. What were these people into? What was Dante getting sucked into? He pulled out his phone and found Blake’s number and hit send, looking out the window. “Blake,” he said when he answered. “It’s Dante.”
“My man, what’s uuuuup?” he sang. “How’s that job going, Greg told me.”
“It’s going real good. But I need a favor.”
“I might could be hired,” he said laughing. “What you got? Hey did I tell you I’m at the tattoo parlor now?”
“Oh man that’s great to hear. You still studying though right?”
“Every day!”
“Good, good.” He peeked out the window again. “Somethings off here. The wife is gorgeous and she’s acting like a flirty teenage virgin and the husband seems to imply that I’m welcome to use her however I need.”
Blake joked a few times. “Wooooow, man I’m jealous!”
“Fuck you man. I need to know what the fuck is up. This had too good to be true written all over it from the jump and now, I don’t know, feels like a set up.”
“Dude, maybe you’re just paranoid!”
“Maybe. That’s why I need you to run this dude down, find out what he’s really about, anything and everything. I got five hundred bucks with your name on it if you get me that.”
“Woohoo, I’m your man! If he’s got a stain on his underwear, you’ll know when, where, how and why he got it.”
Dante smirked. “That’s nasty man.”
His laughter shot out. “Give me all the deets, I’ll get on that prontoooo.”
Dante gave him the man’s name and phone number. “Shit I’ll find out where he works and the name of their church. I want everything you can find on that too. I got the online angles covered on that, I need ground work.”