by René, Dani
“You haven’t made me sad.” She smiles. “Thinking of my mother makes me happy. I think what’s difficult to come to terms with is knowing I’ll never be able to show her how much I’ve learned.”
“I’m certain she’s watching over you right now.”
She nods. “Probably.” Her fingertips linger on the keys, flicking them down in a tune I’ve never heard before. She continues slowly, playing a wistful song that makes me miss my father.
“That’s beautiful.”
She shrugs off my compliment as if it’s nothing, before telling me, “I’ve always wanted to study music. I wrote this in my mind a few months ago when I moved in with . . .” Her words taper off, and I realize she doesn’t want to give me personal information. Only, I know exactly what she wants to say.
I take this moment to step out of my comfort zone. To see if I can perhaps gauge her reaction to the offer Ember and I have for her. “And if you were awarded a full scholarship tomorrow instead of waiting a year?”
Katerina lifts her hands, causing the song to stop. She doesn’t look at me, focusing on the keys instead. Her body is rigid, but then her shoulders sag. She turns her gaze to my curious stare. The corner of her mouth kicks up as she offers me a nod. “I would grab it with both hands.”
It’s time to talk to Ember. I know what we have to do. After his dinner with her tomorrow night, we’ll take her somewhere private and place all our cards on the table. The agreement, the offer, and I hope with all I have that she’ll sign.
“Come on. Let’s go for a drink and then I’ll take you home.”
Katerina
“And you just came home?” Isobel questions incredulously. Even though we’re not very close, she’s the only person I have in my corner. The only person I can call a friend.
I’m not sure why I told her about Ash, although I didn’t tell her how much he paid me, or the fact that he wants to see me again this evening. I gave her just enough to keep her off my back. But she’s as excitable as a puppy and hasn’t stopped asking questions about him.
Shrugging, I try to act calm like it didn’t bother me that he drove me home and asked me to meet him again tonight. I glance at her and respond, “I have a dinner tonight with a client Maria set up for me. I didn’t want to be exhausted from staying out late. Also, I was tired.”
It’s true. This will be my second client date that Maria has booked, and even though I would prefer just being with Ash. My bank balance looks better than it has in a long while, and perhaps soon, I may no longer need to work with Maria.
“Oh, I’m sure you were.” Isobel waggles her eyebrows as I lift the mug of coffee to my lips. The strong caffeine is the only thing that’s going to get me through today. I’ll be able to go into the bank and close the loan account, then I can buy some food to stock up our fridge with the essentials. I’ll also need to find a dress for tonight. I’m not sure what the client would like, but knowing I’ll see Ash afterward, I want to impress him.
“I’d better head out,” I tell Isobel. “I’ll see you later?”
She nods. “Yeah, I might be out with a client this evening, but I won’t know until he finally messages me. Which will be . . .” She drops her gaze to the cell phone on the kitchen counter. “Well, he should’ve confirmed already. Maybe his wife is with him, and he can’t get away.”
“Ha. I’m sure he will be in touch.”
A soft blush turns her cheeks pink. “He’s sweet, and his wife is a monster.” I know she’s defending him; it’s what she does. This one client has been keeping her busy over the past few months, and I wonder just how much he’s paying since she’s so smitten with him. One thing she taught me was to never fall for a john, no matter how enticing or how handsome he is. But I have a feeling she’s done just that.
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell her with a shrug. “After the dinner date Maria set up, so I may be home late.”
“Are you feeling more confident doing this now?” she asks.
“I think so. As long as the client’s payment is large, I’ll be closer to my goal.” That makes me grin, and she laughs out loud. I recall the name of the client she’d sent through last night. Ember. No last name.
“I’m happy for you, girl,” Isobel squeals excitedly. “Perhaps he’ll be as hooked on you as Ash is,” she winks playfully.
My stomach flip flops at the mention of his name. I shrug it off though because the only thing I have to focus on is enrolling in school, even if it’s part-time. When Ash asked me last night if I’d ever take someone up on their offer, I knew I would. Stupidly, I was hoping he was about to say he’d help me. I’m not sure why I’ve allowed my emotions to get involved where he’s concerned, but I have.
“If they’re paying, I’m dating. Anything else can take a back seat.” Even as I tell her this, the thought of Ash having feelings for me lingers in my mind.
“You’re learning. Just don’t ever fall in love,” Isobel warns me once more.
That thought settles like a lead weight in my stomach when a brief flash of Ash’s face invades my mind. It reminds me of how my chest ached when he dropped me off at home in the early hours of this morning. I’d wanted to spend more time with him, even though I knew it would be a mistake.
“I know, girl, I know,” I tell her. “I have to go.” Going on the date tonight might allow me to put Ash out of my mind for a little while.
“See you later, babe.” She smiles, offering me one of her sly winks, which I know means she thinks there’s more to my story than I’m letting on. And to be fair, she’s not wrong.
I’ve sold my soul, and there’s no going back. The handsome devil who paid for my time is a danger to my emotional state. Nobody has ever been genuinely kind to me, and as wary as I am around him, I can’t stop my heart from beating wildly when he’s near.
My parents always taught me to be careful of strangers. To be independent, and to never take anything at face value. And I need to heed their advice now more than ever. It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of having wads of cash coming in.
It’s almost been a year since I graduated high school, and college is finally looking like a prospect. But nothing in life comes for free, and I need to keep my wits about me.
Everything and everyone has a price. I need to make sure mine is high. I’m worthy of happiness, of a normal life, and I shouldn’t settle for what I have now.
But as much as I keep reminding myself of that fact, there’s nothing to stop me from smiling when I step into the building to pay my rent for the next two months.
Ash’s money has been the most a client has ever given me. Over the first couple of dates, I’ve only ever been offered a grand—one thousand for an evening at an event—and I’ve accepted because it’s the quickest way to get out of the rut.
The moment I meet with the dean and can pay for my tuition will be the day I finally feel proud of who I am.
Right now, I’m riddled with guilt at what I have to do to get there. The anxiety that claws at me each time I have a client has me worried that one day, something will happen to me.
When I lost my parents, then my home, I didn’t think I’d make it to eighteen, let alone to the position I’m in now. The lawyer who tried to fight for me to live in my parents’ home with a guardian present lost the case. He tried every loophole he could find, short of offering to adopt me himself, he gave me hope for a while.
I’m not sure what happened to him. When I was thrown into the system, I didn’t see him again. It’s odd how a stranger can change your life without even knowing it. The reason I’m not dead in a ditch somewhere is that he told me to never give up.
With every ruling, he would pat me on the shoulder and tell me things would work out. He was so sure of his words that he instilled confidence in me that I never let go of. And even when I was in the foster home, I kept replaying his advice in my mind. A surrogate father of sorts, he gave me something I needed at the time—surety.
W
hen I told Ash this life was temporary, I meant it. And when I told him I’d gladly grab any opportunity to study, it was the most honest I’d been in a long time. I gave myself a year to save up, a year of doing this bullshit, and as my time ticks on, I wonder if twelve months will be enough. Hopefully, if I can see Ash a few more times, he’ll be able to help me.
My plan is simple.
The state took my family home, and I know it’s been empty for years. I intend to study, work my ass off, and one day, I want to buy that house back, maybe even raise a family in the place I grew up in. There’s something special about it. Smiling, I shove my hand in my purse and feel the envelope I’ve been hiding for months—the letter burning a hole in there reminds me I need to respond, but I can’t. Not yet. Even though they’re offering me a half-scholarship, I need time to make up the rest of the tuition. For now, I ignore the burn and grin at the bank clerk as I approach the desk.
This is it.
One step forward.
I pray there won’t be two steps back.
Katerina
The restaurant area I’ve been escorted to is exquisite. They’ve seated me close to the back of the space, so when I look up, I can see every corner of the room. The hostess let me know my date requested for me to be at this particular table. I’m nervous. It’s like what I imagine being on a blind date is like.
Even though this is purely professional, I still feel anxious. What if we don’t connect? What if I bore him and he complains to Maria? Or would we enjoy each other’s company over dinner? My stomach is fluttering with nerves. I attempt to calm myself with deep breaths, but it doesn’t work.
I take in the various tables dotted around the large room. It’s not busy yet, and I can’t help noticing the people already seated—men and women whose appearances scream money. Their drinks are served in sparkling crystal, and the place settings are exquisite with shiny silver cutlery. Candleholders which reflect the light from the chandeliers above sit in the center of the tables.
I feel out of place. Up until my parents died, I had been comfortable. But the clientele here are all upper class. From their jewelry to their expensive clothes, I can almost smell the wealth in the air.
I can certainly act the part, but deep down, I know the dress I’m wearing is from two or three seasons ago. My shoes aren’t brand new and shiny. My jewelry is merely costume gems I found at a thrift store, and I haven’t been to a hair salon in years.
I focus on the glass of water in front of me, wondering what my parents would think of me if they were here right now. I’ve only ever wanted to make them proud. My eyes prick with tears when I think about my mother’s advice: never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. It was a mantra she drummed into my head since I gave up on ballet classes.
I’d wanted to learn to dance the longest time, but I just wasn’t good. My real love was for music, art, and when I found that out, Mom supported me. The nights she sat with me, teaching me to play the piano, the Sunday mornings she would take me into the garden when we’d paint flowers. All those are merely memories now, and each day, I’m afraid they’ll just disappear into a pile of ash.
I shake my head, taking a sip of the cold liquid from my glass. I sweep my gaze toward the doorway only to have my focus fall on the man at the entrance. He enters the room, and all eyes turn toward him. Mine eat him up in a quick gobble, noting his dark suit and silver tie. His shirt is a crisp black material. He nears me, and I rise to greet him with a smile.
“You’re looking lovely, Flame. I’m Ember,” he tells me before placing a kiss on both my cheeks. His hand holds onto my arm, causing my stomach to flip-flop and nervous energy to course through me.
“Thank you. It’s lovely to meet you, Ember.” My voice is raspy when I respond, and I realize the anxiousness is getting to me. I attempt to swallow it down, hoping I can calm my erratic heartbeat.
Ember gestures to the chair, holding onto the back of it as he waits for me to settle in. With his green eyes pinned on me, watching me, I offer him a smile, just like I did when Ash looked at me in the same way. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted me to wear, so . . .”
“You’re perfect,” he tells me before seating himself opposite me. “I don’t do this often, but when I saw you on the website, I called Maria and booked dinner. I’d hoped this would offer us an opportunity to get to know each other.”
“I’m . . . I must say this is still very new to me. I mean—”
The waitress appears at that moment, interrupting my response to take our orders. I allow Ember to choose for me since he seems so confident naming a specific bottle of wine I’d never heard of. With a nod of agreement from my side, he selects the food as well.
Once we’re alone, he glances at me. “I hope you don’t mind me taking the liberty, Flame.” His smile lights up his face as he watches me intently.
“I don’t mind. Thank you,” I tell him. “I’m not familiar with the wines here.” Hoping he doesn’t notice my little white lie as I try to appear more worldly than I really am. His smile doesn’t give him away, so I lift the water and take a sip, praying it will calm my nerves.
I didn’t think being here with a stranger like this would be too difficult, but then again, I wasn’t expecting him to be so handsome. So young. He looks to be about Ash’s age, and I wonder for a moment why men like him need to pay women to date them.
The waitress brings our drinks and the starter, which looks incredibly delicious. Ember takes the bottle from the pretty girl and gestures for her to leave before he pours wine into both our glasses. He seems so confident, and for a beat, I’m jealous of the ease with which he moves. If I could just have an ounce of that grace and elegance, I would be much more comfortable. But then, perhaps men like innocent, nervous, fluttery girls.
Ember lifts his glass to make a toast. “To making new friends,” he says, his mouth curling into a wolfish smile. There’s something familiar about him, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I shake it off and try to focus on the here and now.
After clinking my glass with Ember’s, I take a sip of the smoky, spicy liquid before I look into his eyes. “Will you tell me why a guy like you would need to pay a girl to have dinner with him?” I question. It’s the same one I asked Ash, and I wonder just what it is about these men that makes them want to close themselves off to something real.
“My life hasn’t afforded me a chance to venture into a relationship. Not right now anyway,” Ember tells me with a melancholy tone in his voice. There’s a faraway look in his gaze which makes me curious when he continues, “People are flippant about emotions, about connections. This way, I don’t need to promise something I can never give.”
“It sounds like you’re already set on walking away from someone before you’ve given them a chance,” I counter, watching him while I sip my drink. The nerves that had attacked me earlier seemed to have settled, and for the first time tonight, I don’t feel like a paid escort, but rather, a girl on a date with a man.
He shrugs, but appears to ponders my words because he doesn’t respond immediately. There’s something almost regal about how he holds himself which further intrigues me.
“Perhaps I have.” He smiles. “I’ve just learned that over time, everyone leaves, so you can’t get attached.” Ember picks up an olive from the bowl, sucking it into his mouth. I can’t help licking my lips at the sight of his tempting mouth wet with the sauce.
“Sometimes people can surprise you,” I tell him, picking up a small green fruit the same color as his eyes. His gaze falls to my mouth, observing me as I enjoy the bitter flavor of the sauce.
There’s a heavy silence in the air before he responds, “They can. As did you, Flame. I’m rather intrigued by you.” He sips his wine. “Tell me what your hobbies are? What are you passionate about?” he questions, arching a chestnut eyebrow. Ember sits back and watches me intently. He’s waiting for an answer, and I want to give it to him.
“I didn’t think you’d wa
nt to learn too much about me since I’m only here for the night,” I challenge, causing his eyes to shimmer with mischief.
“Call me curious,” he smirks. The corner of his mouth quirking as he regards me.
“My passion is music. I learned to play the piano at an early age.”
He tips his head to the side, his gaze locked on mine. “Lovely. And do you still play?”
“I haven’t for a long while. I don’t have one at home to practice on. Although I did get a chance to play last night.”
“Oh?” This seems to interest him, and he leans forward placing his forearms on the table, and his fingers tangle together. “Did you enjoy it?”
“I always enjoy creating music.” I smile, lowering my gaze to the table for a moment before meeting his heated stare. “What about you?”
His gaze flickers with something—but it’s gone before I pinpoint it—as he responds, “I paint. More than I should, less than I’d like.”
“I’m a fan of art as well. There’s always a complex emotion an artist portrays in the use of color, brush strokes, and canvas.” Our conversation makes me smile.
“Ah, now you’ve got me thinking of getting you to come and paint with me one day, Flame,” he chuckles, twirling his glass on the table, causing the wine to splash against the edges.
“Katerina,” I offer. “My name is Katerina.” I may never see him again, so I give him my real name because as much as I want to hide behind my moniker, it doesn’t feel natural. Honesty—it’s the one thing I’ve always promised myself I’d give where and when I can. I can’t explain my need to tell him the truth, but it’s there.
He smiles and once more, I’m hit with the feeling that he’s somehow familiar. But I can’t cement the notion as to why or how.
“Katerina, do me the honor of spending a day with me in my studio?” He tips his glass, clinking it on mine before finishing the last swill of red liquid, swallowing it down, and I’m entranced by the bopping of his Adam’s apple. “Say yes,” he implores with a cocky grin that makes my cheeks heat.