I’d thought there were a lot of people in Liam’s backyard, but that amount in no way compared to the people on the beach. I didn’t know how someone actually knew so many people. I doubted that he really did, but still.
I passed a table set up and grabbed a plate, piling it high with food before walking on down the beach where the crowd cleared.
I found an empty spot and sat down.
I was alone in the middle of a raging party, and maybe I should have cared about that fact, but I didn’t.
I’d spent a lot of time in solitude, so, unlike a lot of people, I found comfort in being alone.
While I ate, I thought.
And what I thought about was Liam, and how much I wished I could hate him, but I couldn’t, even though I should have. I’d never before felt such an intense pull to someone before, and I was helpless to deny it, but I had to. If I got too close to him, I’d only hurt him.
And if Blaise found me I’d do more than hurt him.
I’d kill him.
Liam
I stood on the beach with a beer in my hand, watching the fireworks explode above the ocean in colors of red, white, and blue.
Around me people cheered and conversed, but I’d removed myself from the crowd, lurking in the back where I could watch Ari.
I didn’t know why I loved fighting with her so much. I wasn’t sure it was even about the fight, but more about getting a reaction from her. She could be so flat with her emotions, and too quiet, but when I pushed the right buttons, her Tiger side came out, and I selfishly loved it.
I’d vowed not to get close to her, telling myself her living with me was only a temporary thing, and I didn’t want a relationship anyway. Not after what I’d been put through the last time.
But Ari was managing to get under my skin, and it’d only been a little over two weeks that she’d been there.
I knew Ollie had definitely arranged it on purpose in the hopes that I would finally fall for a girl. I really ought to punch him, but I knew the guy wanted me to be as happy as he was. What he didn’t realize was there was no chance of happiness for someone like me.
I was poison.
I lifted the beer to my lips and eyed Ari where she sat a few yards in front of me. She didn’t know I was there, because if she did I was sure she’d tell me off for earlier.
I’d been livid when Brady asked her to dance and then became even madder for feeling that way. Ari was nothing to me.
I gulped down the last of the beer, watching the way the wind blew her long wavy hair around her shoulders. I wanted to grab her, fist my hands in her hair, and kiss her like I’d never kissed anyone before. But I wouldn’t, because despite what most people believed I did have some sort of self-control. Just not much of it.
I argued with Ari, because if I didn’t that little bit of control might slip and I didn’t know what would happen if it did. It wouldn’t be anything good, that was for sure.
I knew it was selfish of me to be like a little kid with a toy I didn’t want to play with, but didn’t want anyone else to have either but I couldn’t help it.
The fireworks ended and Ari stood.
I took several steps back, blending into the shadows and grasses around me.
She kept her head down as she made her way back to the steps leading up to the backyard. To anyone else she might have seemed oblivious to everything going on, but not to me. I saw the way her eyes flickered from side to side, briefly glancing over each body she passed as if she was searching for something or someone.
Secrets.
We all had them.
And something told me Ari’s eclipsed mine.
***
After only a few hours of sleep, I’d gotten up, changed into my wetsuit, grabbed my surfboard, and headed out into the ocean. The sun was just coming up as I paddled out.
I hadn’t been able to quiet my mind enough for sleep, so I’d decided the best course of action was to get some early-morning surf time in.
Being out on the water soothed my soul; it was one of the only things that did.
Out in the water was where I belonged. Away from the chaos of the world. Surrounded by the turbulent ocean, I found the patience I could never seem to find on land.
I sat up on my board and closed my eyes, listening to the sound of the water lapping against me and the chirps of birds overhead. I inhaled a breath, holding it for a moment before letting it out. I blinked my eyes open and leaned my head back to look at the sky above. It was beginning to bloom with oranges and purples.
I scrubbed a hand over my face and then laid my hands flat on my board.
And then I waited.
And waited some more.
Until finally my wave came.
I paddled out and felt my body begin to fill with that familiar rush. The grin on my face was unavoidable.
This, right here, right now, this is what I live for and why my heart keeps beating.
When I finally headed back to shore, the sun was completely up. I grabbed my board and held it under my arm as I walked the rest of the way out of the water.
I had my head down, water dripping from my hair down my face, and wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings, so when someone called out to me it nearly scared the crap out of me. At least I had an excellent poker face so I didn’t look the least bit surprised.
“You’re really good. Like insanely good.”
I looked up and to my right to see Ari walking toward me from a few feet away. Her hair blew around her shoulders and her eyes were wide and alert despite the fact I’d heard her wake up screaming yet again. She wore a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt with a jacket which she clutched to her chest.
I tipped my head and muttered, “Thanks.”
She let out a humorless laugh. “You don’t like compliments?”
I looked at her like she was crazy. “I said thanks.”
“It was the way you said it.” She glared up at me. “I was trying to be nice, but I see now that’s futile when it comes to you.”
“Thank you,” I said again, trying to inject some kindness in my tone.
Her lips slowly raised into a smile. “That was better.” Pointing up toward the house, she asked, “Breakfast?”
“Sure.” I shrugged, starting that way. “What do you have in mind?” I was trying to be nice, and from her answering smile it appeared I was succeeding.
“Egg sandwiches?” She raised a questioning brow.
“Sounds good to me.”
We reached the house, and I propped my board outside against the siding and stripped out of my wetsuit, leaving me in my board shorts. I thought Ari had gone inside, but when I picked up my wetsuit, I saw that she was still standing there staring at me with an open mouth.
“Like what you see?” I waved a hand from my face down to my chest.
She nodded and then quickly shook her head. “S-Sorry,” she stuttered, before running inside as fast as she could.
I chuckled under my breath and shook my head. Ari was definitely as frightened by our mutual attraction as I was.
I took my wetsuit over to the hose and rinsed it off. I fixed it onto the hanger and carried it inside to the bathroom where I let them dry.
Ari was already busy in the kitchen and barely acknowledged my presence when I passed.
I jogged upstairs to my room to shower, and in no time I was changing into a pair of khaki pants, a gray t-shirt, and a beanie. I didn’t have much variety in my clothes; I liked what I liked and that was it.
When I stepped into the kitchen, Ari had finished making our breakfast. The plates were sitting on the raised bar counter while she poured us glasses of ice water.
“Smells good,” I commented. I was going to try my best to be nice. We’d see how long it lasted. I was betting on five minutes. If that. The urge to pick on her like a boy with a schoolyard crush would overcome me soon enough.
I took a seat, and a moment later Ari sat down beside me.
“I don’t go
into work until this afternoon, so I thought I’d clean the house.”
“I clean,” I stated, looking at her like she’d lost her mind. My neat-freak status rung loud and clear the moment she walked in the door. Ollie thought it was hilarious, so he always liked to dirty the place up any time he came by. He especially liked to streak his Cheeto-covered fingers over the walls.
“I know,” she shrugged, picking up her sandwich, “but you don’t make me pay rent, so it feels wrong to contribute nothing. So, I’m cleaning.”
“I’m sure I could find something more helpful for you to do.” I took a bite of my sandwich and waited for her response.
She raised a brow. “Like what?”
I thought for a moment. “Alphabetize the cereal boxes.”
She choked on her bite of sandwich. When I didn’t crack a smile or laugh, she gasped, “You’re serious?”
“Of course. I take my cereal organization very seriously. It’s currently sorted by color in case you hadn’t noticed. ROYGBIV for life…or not life, since it’s really beginning to bug me. I think alphabetical order will make me feel much better.”
Her mouth parted, and she looked at me in shock. “You’re actually serious.”
I nodded. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
She shook her head and laughed under her breath. “Okay, sure. I’ll alphabetize the cereal.”
“After that you can wash my underwear.”
She paled. “No way in hell am I going anywhere near your underwear.”
“I was kidding.” I cracked a smile. “I am capable of joking now and then. Although, it is rare.”
“Oh.” She visibly relaxed. “That’s funny.”
“You’re not laughing, though.”
She raised her bright blue eyes to mine. “I think I’m still in shock that you actually tried to be funny.”
“Tried and failed,” I said, before popping the last bite of sandwich in my mouth.
Ari opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by the sound of the doorbell.
“What the hell?” I muttered, standing. “No one should be here.”
Ari gasped and seemed to curl in on herself. I took in her odd behavior but said nothing.
“Stay here,” I told her.
She nodded her head, and I was surprised she actually listened to me.
I stepped out into the hallway and caught a glimpse of who was outside in the slim window beside the front door.
“Aw, hell.” I quickly skittered back into the kitchen.
“Who is it?” Ari asked, fear shimmering in her eyes.
“My parents.”
The fear left her eyes at my statement, and she exhaled a long breath. “Thank God,” I heard her whisper under her breath.
“Get in the closet.” I grabbed her arm, pulling her off the chair.
“What?” She gasped. “Are you crazy?” She tried to yank her arm out of my hold, but I only tightened my grasp.
“Possibly,” I responded, shoving her into the pantry closet. “Now get to organizing.” I pushed the door closed and ran to answer the front door—the doorbell was ringing for the fifth time by that point.
I swung the front door open at the same time an angry Ari launched herself at my back.
I was surprised, and unable to hold both of our weights. We went tumbling to the ground at my parents’ feet.
“Dammit, woman,” I groaned, rolling to my feet. I rubbed at my neck before reaching down to help her up. “What the hell was that for?”
“You shoved me in a closet,” she seethed, jabbing a finger into my chest.
My parents began to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” I snapped, rubbing at my sore neck again.
My mom responded first. “Oh, just that I jumped on your dad’s back like that after one of our first conversations.”
I sighed and scrubbed my hands over my face. “I’m glad we could amuse you. What are you doing here?”
My dad let out a laugh. “You could at least act like you’re happy to see us.”
I forced a smile. “See?” I pointed at my face. “Happy.”
My mom shook her head, grinning at me. “You are one-hundred-percent your father’s child. Sometimes I wonder if you have any part of me.”
“I have your eyes,” I reminded her.
“That’s true. Now, are you going to invite us in or do we have to force ourselves inside?”
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “Come in.”
I stepped aside, not realizing I’d been barring the entry with my body, and let them pass. Them and their big ass suitcases, that is.
“Staying for a while?” I questioned, glaring at the suitcases like they’d personally offended me.
“As long as we need to,” my dad said, giving me the evil eye that told me I’d most definitely done something wrong.
“What the hell does that mean?” I exclaimed as I closed and locked the front door.
He shrugged. “You’ve checked out of life, Liam. We’re here to check you back in.”
“Cute. You should put that in one of your songs.”
“We both know I don’t write the songs,” he countered, taking my mom’s purse from her shoulder and setting it on the floor. “Care to tell us who this is?” He nodded at Ari where she stood by the stairs.
She seemed very amused by the whole thing. I glared at her, and she merely grinned back at me.
“This is Ari.” I waved my hand dramatically in her direction. “She’s staying here for a while.”
“Is she your girlfriend?” my mom asked gleefully.
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Leave it to my mom to ask that right off the bat.
“No. Absolutely not.”
She frowned, looking from me to Ari. “Why not?”
“Mom,” I groaned, burying my face in my hands.
Ari snickered across from me. Of course she’d be highly amused by the situation.
“No offense, Mrs…? I don’t actually know your last name,” Ari muttered toward me. Continuing, she added, “But your son is kind of an ass.”
My mom smiled. “He’s just like his dad.” She lightly bumped her fist into my dad’s chest. “Hard on the outside, but a total softy on the inside. Keep digging.” She winked at Ari.
“Mom,” I scolded, hoping the embarrassment didn’t show on my face. I was nearly twenty years old, and my mom was treating me like I was still a kid.
“I’ll just be upstairs.” Ari pointed unnecessarily, putting one foot on the bottom stair and grabbing ahold of the railing. “I’ll let you guys, uh…talk.” She waved her free hand at the three of us standing in the foyer.
I glared at her. Partly pissed that she was a witness, and also pissed that she was about to leave me alone with them. It made no sense, but my thoughts and actions rarely did.
“Didn’t you have some cereal boxes to alphabetize?” I asked her through clenched teeth, pleading with my eyes for her to stay.
Her lips lifted into a tiny smirk. “Do it yourself.”
I shook my head and watched as she disappeared upstairs. A moment later, I heard the click of her door closing.
I pulled in a lungful of air and swiveled my gaze to my parents. Both stood with satisfied grins.
“What?” I groaned, starting toward the kitchen. “Spit it out. I know you both want to.”
“Us?” my mom said innocently behind me. “We have nothing to say.”
“M’kay,” I muttered sarcastically. “You guys hungry?”
“We stopped for breakfast,” my dad replied. “Stop stalling, Liam.”
I turned and braced my hands on the granite counter, my fingers tightening around the stone until they turned white.
“Get on with it then. Why are you here?” I faced them, squaring my shoulders as I braced myself for whatever they had to say.
Contrary to popular belief I actually cared what my parents thought of me. I loved them, and we’d never had any major fights like most kids with their pa
rents. Disagreements, on the other hand… Well, we had lots of those.
“You didn’t come home for the Fourth of July,” my dad stated, giving me that intense look he’d always given me when I was a child that told me I was in big trouble. Only I was an adult, and I didn’t have to go home or be made to do anything I didn’t want to do.
“You mean to tell me that you guys flew all the way out here because I didn’t come home for the holiday?” I looked between the two of them. “Are y’all fucking nuts?”
My mom snickered. “Well, we are that. But we’re also your parents, and we’re concerned.”
“I didn’t come home last year,” I countered, my grip on the counter tightening even more. “I had a party here, both times,” I added. “It’s not like I sulked around the house and did nothing all day.”
“Is that what you do normally?” my dad asked. “Sulk?”
I wanted to laugh, but his serious tone and the worry in his eyes held me back.
“No, of course not,” I retorted. “It’s a five-to-six-hour flight from here to home. It’s just kind of a pain in the ass.” I shrugged, letting go of the counter and stretching my fingers. “Speaking of flights, what did you guys do? Hop on a plane in the middle of the night all because I didn’t come home?”
My dad grinned at this. “The perks of being a rock star—we have a jet waiting at all times. We flew in last night and stayed up at the place in L.A. before driving down this morning.”
“Of course,” I exhaled, not surprised at all.
“It’s time to get serious, son.” My dad’s icy gray eyes bored into me. “What the hell is going on with you?”
“Nothing.” It was the same response I’d been giving for two years.
“It’s not nothing,” he countered with a rough shake of his head. “The moment your diploma was in your hand you couldn’t get away from us fast enough. You can spew bullshit about your surfing as much as you want, but it’s more than that. We’re not stupid. What did we do that was so incredibly horrible that we drove our only son away from us?”
I winced and shook my head back and forth. “You guys did nothing wrong. It was my own issues that drove me away.”
My mom opened her mouth to speak, but I raised a hand to silence her. “I can’t talk about this right now. I really have to go. I have a meeting I can’t be late for. We’ll…uh…we’ll talk about this later. M’kay?”
The Lies That Define Us Page 7