Through The Shattered Glass

by Jeanie Clarke

  Just before setting off to Mexico, Chris got a call from his old friend Hulk Hogan, a wrestler who he knew from working a tour of Japan. Hogan had won a role in a movie, and was going to be filming a key scene at the Olympic Auditorium for the third instalment of the popular Rocky franchise.

  Hogan invited some of the boys to come along to the set to hang out, watch the filming and be a part of the audience during the scene. Chris took me along, and I was so excited to witness a film being made. The scene itself was unforgettable, as the valiant boxer Rocky Balboa took on an arrogant wrestler named Thunderlips, played by the enormous Hogan. I fell in love with the underdog character of Rocky Balboa in the first two films which were just so inspirational and uplifting. It was such a thrill to be a part of Rocky III.

  We were both sitting fairly close to the ring for the scene, and during a break in filming I walked up behind Sly and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned his head, catching me with his smouldering Italian looks.

  “Hi, can I have a picture with you please?” I asked.

  Within seconds, a huge pair of arms came between us as one of his bodyguards tried to separate us.

  Just when I thought the moment was lost forever, Sylvester looked at his minders and gestured for them to take it easy.

  “It’s okay, she’s alright,” he reassured.

  I was bursting with excitement. He said he’d come over in a minute and asked where I was sitting. True to his word, he walked across and we had our picture taken together. He also posed for a picture with Chris.

  To this day, the photo I have with Sylvester Stallone is one of my most treasured possessions. Unfortunately, when Chris and I swapped places, I was so overcome at having a photo taken with Sly that when we got our photos back, Chris’ photo was missing the heads off both of them. I must have been shaking with excitement. Nevertheless, it was such a great memory for us to share before Chris had to leave for Mexico.

  As he set off south of the border, I stayed in Venice. Being pregnant, I had doctor’s appointments to keep and couldn’t make the trip. Through a bit of English charm, I had managed to wangle these for free despite having no medical insurance. I had also met a girl called Norma, who was a friend to many of the wrestlers and owned a house in Redondo Beach. She kindly offered me the chance to live with her.

  I absolutely loved the area and Norma and I got on really well. I was missing Chris so much, as his tour of Mexico had been the longest time we had ever spent apart.

  Wanting to see him, I flew down to Mexico City for a few weeks. It was not the visit I had intended. Being six months’ pregnant, the food and water made me very sick and I noticed that Chris had started drinking heavily again.

  When I returned to Redondo, I was worried about going into labour in the States. Although I’d managed to get medical appointments for free, I wasn’t convinced I would be able to deliver the baby without being financially penalised. With my work and childcare options limited, raising a baby with Chris out of the country would be almost impossible.

  After a couple of telephone calls to Jean and Cyril, they kindly offered to help. I decided that I would return to England for the birth of our first child.

  On 16th October 1981, Jade Fiona Adams was welcomed into the world. Born in Leamington Spa, she was a healthy and happy baby and brought so much joy to my heart. Although Chris missed the birth of Jade, he flew back to see her as soon as he could.

  We moved into our old flat in Warwick for a few months, and he managed to find work on a few shows for Joint Promotions while I stayed at home with our new-born child.

  It was a temporary situation and we both coped well, but we had dreams of returning to the sunshine of the United States.

  By the beginning of 1982, Chris was asked to return to Los Angeles. He was being promised a larger role for the LeBell brothers’ promotion, with a greater financial incentive.

  As luck would have it, one of the old West Midlands crew, Les Hudspith, had just started wrestling for the Los Angeles territory. We decided that our young family would return to America, and we were able to share an apartment with Les and his girlfriend Debbie.

  Les Hudspith, former wrestler Ringo Rigby: “Debbie and I arrived in L.A. first and rented a place in Pasadena but not long after Chris, Jeanie and Jade came back and so we all ended renting a place in Ventura together. Chris and I made many trips to Las Vegas to wrestle, working at the old Show Boat Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas, just off Fremont Street.

  It’s strange but all of four us ended up doing modelling in different ways. I remember a British national newspaper renting a villa in Palm Springs for us and we did a photo shoot in the swimming pool. It was great fun in a great place, a blonde, a brunette plus Chris and Ringo. Fantastic days!”

  This seemed like the perfect arrangement, as we all got on really well. When the boys were away wrestling, Debbie and I had each other for company. Chris was thriving in the territory, and his good looks and boyish English charms were starting to secure him a solid spot in the promotion. And like before, it also got him a lot of female attention.

  Unfortunately, Chris had started to act on the temptation. I sensed he was straying when he began to stay out overnight after drinking. But I actually found out that he was cheating on me with some of the girls who attended the matches when one of them called the house.

  At first, I was really hurt and bitter. I had come all the way out to the States to create a new life with Chris, and helped elevate his career by launching and managing his fan club. I supported him with my modelling gig when times were tough and I even became the mother to his daughter.

  I felt so betrayed.

  Conflicted, I confided in my two neighbours in the above apartment. The question on whether or not I could trust Chris again tore me apart.

  Even though I was devastated by his cheating, I still deeply loved Chris. I also considered the best interests of our daughter Jade. I did not want her to be raised in a fractured family.

  Crying at my knees, Chris begged for my forgiveness and swore he would do anything to regain my trust. I wanted to believe him. I was still young at 21, but the love of Chris had brought so much comfort to my life. He deserved a second chance.

  Ultimately, I agreed to return to Chris.

  I held on to the dream that we could try and repair our relationship.

  6 THE GRASS ISN’T ALWAYS GREENER IN PORTLAND

  Having spent months faced with relationship doubt, I was fully committed to making things work with Chris when I gave him a second chance. As the father of Jade, I was looking to bring some stability to our young family.

  Unfortunately, further uncertainty came into our lives when the security of Chris’ burgeoning career in America came to a grinding halt. Due to diminishing box office returns, NWA Hollywood Wrestling had ceased operations on 26th December 1982. With Les and Debbie splitting up and moving from the apartment, we had to accept that our time in California was coming to an end.

  Having impressed many within the industry during his run with the LeBells, the word spread that Chris was a dynamic and daring young performer, and a star of the future. A free agent, he was soon called by Don Owen, who ran a promotion in Portland, Oregon.

  Owen’s company, Pacific Northwest Wrestling, was also a member of the NWA, and had established links with a number of promoters across the country. Pulling resources, they would trade talent and work together to keep their respective rosters fresh for their home fan base.

  As a result, the Portland territory remained strong during a time when various other promotions were struggling to survive.

  Chris was very lucky to be given an opportunity for alternative work as quickly as he did, but he was hesitant to leave Los Angeles. But he had to accept the inevitable, and we got ready to relocate northwards.

  I will never forget the coastal drive on the route to our new destination, passing through San Francisco.

  The scenery was breathtakingly gorgeous, with each mile framed by a se
ries of picturesque vistas.

  But as we left the state of California, there was a noticeable change of weather.

  A wild storm had brewed. Under a dark grey sky, we drove for hours into lashes of rain. Fatigued by the journey, we needed to stop for some food and provisions. We pulled over at a Wendy’s burger restaurant, where there was a noticeable blankness in Chris’ eyes.

  Noticeably bothered, he was struggling to eat his food.

  “I’m not going to like it here,” he sighed.

  There was nothing I could say. Our options were limited.

  Getting back in the car, we continued to Portland.

  Once we arrived, we found our way to the apartment, a grim little unit filled with worn-out furniture. On the upside, our next-door neighbour had offered to show us around town. His name was Tommy Rogers, and he was another wrestler who was working for the Pacific Northwest outfit.

  With business thriving, Chris was booked intensely to keep up with the demands of the promotion. The territory’s main strongholds were Portland, Salem and Eugene, and spot shows in neighbouring towns were added to fulfil the needs of the local audiences. However, despite solid business, life at home with Jade was tough, as we did not have the privilege of the two incomes that we needed to raise a child.

  As beautiful as Oregon was, it lacked connectivity for a young mother without her own mode of travel. There was not the public transport network that I relied upon to pick up our weekly shopping or to take Jade out for the day. To exacerbate matters, we just happened to arrive during a very rainy season, which further restricted our activities.

  When Chris was unemployed in California, I had worked extra shifts and split my income with him to ensure he never suffered. Unfortunately, when our roles were reversed, he never returned the sentiment.

  Without the privilege of a green card or anyone to assist with childcare, I was unable to secure work. As a result, I had to rely on Chris to provide me with the money required for essential purchases, such as food and toiletries. He tightly rationed my expenditure, and I struggled to make ends meet as Jade and I were stranded at the apartment.

  Frugal, he would often question the requirement of any outlays. I was uncomfortable in my dependence on my partner, but I had started to see a selfish side to Chris that had remained hidden in the years we had been together. He still managed to find money to go out and get drunk with the other wrestlers, and he had even started to smoke increasing amounts of cannabis too.

  If we would spend time together with Tommy, it would usually end with the lads ending up stoned while I was left to pick up the pieces. I found myself coming to resent Chris and his irresponsibility, and I became increasingly irritated with his greed.

  Chris could tell I was starting to be disillusioned, and offered me a break from my daily monotony. We arranged a babysitter and visited the local bar. After we had finished our drinks, we again headed over to see Tommy. It was not long until a bong was taken out so the lads could take a hit.

  Tommy then passed it towards me, and insisted that I take a puff. Initially refusing, I eventually gave in to the pressure.

  Following a deep inhalation, the effect was more bizarre than I could have imagined. It was the first time that I had ever touched dope, and I didn’t expect the weed that the guys were smoking to be so potent.

  Freaking out at the warping of my senses, I went to lie down in the bedroom, and I yearned for the strange feeling to pass.

  In the midst of an anxiety attack, I was convinced I was going to die. Frantic, I called for an ambulance to rush me to the hospital.

  With flashing lights beaming through the windows, Chris and Tommy burst into the room to attend to me. They sat me up on the edge of the bed, with Chris reassuring me that I would be okay.

  The paramedics entered the room, and saw me hyperventilating. They acted with urgency, placing an oxygen mask over my face, and tried to calm me.

  Chris was worried that the emergency call would affect his career, but the police were never notified. He still felt indebted to Owen for the chance to wrestle after the LeBell’s office had closed.

  Moreover, Chris had become increasingly interested in the fans perception of him as a clean-cut hero.

  When I would go to the shows on which he was wrestling, I would see crowds of young girls clamouring for Chris’ attention. Once they realised that I was his girlfriend, they would look at me with angry glares. During our time in Joint Promotions, it was common for him to get the admiration of the local girls, but it had reached an invasive level in Portland.

  One of the fans did manage to find friendship with the wrestlers, a local drug dealer known as ‘Dirty’ Ralph. He was a seedy character, who always seemed to be surrounded by women. As Chris liked to dabble with grass, he would sometimes party with Ralph, even though it made me uncomfortable.

  But it wasn’t long before I noticed a pattern emerge as the parties became more frequent. Chris had stopped coming home at night.

  With his previous issues of heavy drinking, I was worried for Chris.

  However, before I could approach Chris with my concerns, I had to return to England. Due to the death of a close family friend, I needed to fly home and attend the funeral. Given how young Jade was, I asked if Chris would look after her. I gave him the contact details of my regular babysitter in case he needed any help.

  When I returned to Portland, I started to get a number of calls to the house late at night. It was a girl called Amanda, who had been asking to speak to Chris.

  Having already cheated on me in Los Angeles, I questioned why a female would call the house in the middle of the night.

  Chris tried to brush it off, explaining that she was a friend of Ralph’s who was asking if he needed any weed. But his face told a different story. There was guilt in his eyes, something that I had already seen in previous months.

  As I continued to visit the arenas, the joy in Chris’ face had drastically changed. He carried an awkwardness that I was not used to seeing in him, and his usual outgoing confidence seemed to be eroding each day that I was around the promotion. One Wednesday evening in Salem, a female fan approached me, and introduced herself.

  Her name was Ruth, and she seemed to be overly interested in my family, especially Chris. Some of the other fans warned me about her, so I told Chris when he got back to the apartment. When I mentioned her name, his face dropped and he became defensive.

  By that time, I knew that Chris had failed to keep his word to me. He had resumed his old ways of sleeping around with other women. He had taken advantage of my naivety and vulnerability.

  I accepted that he was not going to change, and I needed to find an escape from a relationship which was doomed to fail. However, with no green card, no job, and a child, I was stuck.

  I knew that I could not return home to England. I could not live with my mum, or have Jade being raised in the environment of an alcoholic. And crossing the Atlantic wasn’t even an option, as I had no money to afford the flight.

  Knowing that I could not move, it was a real strain as I struggled to co-exist with Chris in the apartment. If he tried to embrace me in bed, I could not stop but think that his need was tainted. There was a grief that my desire for him was forever lost.

  The damage had been done and I no longer looked at him in the same way. I was saddened, as I realised that the love would never return.

  During my troubles with Chris, I got a call from the wrestler ‘Playboy’ Buddy Rose. He was going to be working with the World Wrestling Federation, and asked if I would leave Portland to join him in New York as his valet. It was a nice offer, but I couldn’t.

  A few days later, a wrestler named Billy Jack Haynes came over for coffee. I knew Billy from the arena shows, and always thought he was a really soft-natured, humble gentleman. Knowing I had few friends in Portland, he offered to listen to my problems.

  As I told Billy Jack about my issues with Chris, he looked down and shook his head. He confirmed by suspicions were
true. To make matters worse, he told me that he had confronted Chris about his behaviour with the local girls.

  “I couldn’t believe it when I asked Adams why he cheated on you. He told me that if you have steak every night, you occasionally fancy a piece of chicken,” explained Billy.

  As soon as Billy confided in me, my feelings of sadness towards Chris were replaced by other emotions. After Chris’ constant promises that he would never cheat on me again, I now had the confirmation that he had lied.

  I was angry and repulsed by Chris. He was not the man I thought he was.

  Billy also seemed to be disgusted by how I had been let down by Chris.

  “You deserve better. I’d be more than happy to help you out. Come and stay with me, and I’ll treat you with the respect you deserve,” he offered.

  It was so sweet of Billy to console me with a gesture of such kindness, but I explained the situation with my finances and my green card. I knew that there was no way that he could really help. But he said he was serious.

  Before he left, I told Billy that I needed to sleep on it. It was too big a decision to make over an afternoon, even if I was eager to escape the apartment which I was sharing with Chris.

  As I pondered what I should do, Chris stayed out all night after yet another party. It was clear that there was only one option for me.

  The next day, Billy came round and we went for a drive around town, before parking his car. I told him that I had decided to accept his offer and started packing my belongings.

  That night, Chris was again late in coming home. I decided to stay up until he returned to the apartment.

  As he opened the door, I was shaking with nervousness.

  “I’m leaving you,” I firmly sighed.

  Chris dropped to his knees and fell to pieces. He started to sob, and it moved me. However, I had seen it all before, and nothing was going to alter my decision.