At this stage, I feel like I’m practically being sarcastic. I hate lying to my son, but if it spares his feelings, then it’s worth it. Nathan meaningfully nods along with my tale.
‘And, the truth is, we didn’t know if he’d ever be able to make it back, he was so far away. And he knew that I could look after you all on my own, so he went off to look after kids who didn’t have a mummy or a daddy, to make sure they had water and an education.’
Frankie nods. He’s such a sweet kid, of course he’s trying to understand.
‘Dinner is nearly ready,’ Viv calls.
‘Your dad just wants the chance to get to know you, if you’d like that,’ I tell him.
‘OK,’ Frankie replies.
‘OK?’ Nathan says. ‘Awesome. Come here.’
He leans over and gives Frankie’s shoulder a squeeze.
‘Well, we can all hang out and just see what happens,’ I say.
‘This is great,’ Nathan says. ‘So great. Totally rad.’
I try to remember if ‘rad’ was in his vocabulary when we were together. I really hope not.
Viv places a large bowl of mashed potatoes and a jug of gravy down on the table before heading back towards the kitchen area. She comes back with a plate of sausages and places them down before taking a seat opposite Frankie.
‘Bangers and mash,’ she says enthusiastically. ‘I’ll bet it’s been a while since you’ve had my bangers and mash, ey, Frankie?’
‘Whoa, Viv, what are you doing?’ Nathan says, horrified.
Viv gives him a puzzled look.
‘Meat?’
‘Oh, sorry, darling, are you still doing that? I suppose I just assumed you’d grown out of it like Lily did when she was at uni.’
‘You gave up being a vegan at university?’ he shrieks in my direction. ‘Lil, what happened to you? Wait – we were together after that. You never said anything. Oh, so, I’m not the only one who makes mistakes then.’
I roll my eyes. If Frankie weren’t here, I’d point out to my darling ex that giving up not eating animals and giving up a child were hardly comparable.
‘So Frank eats meat and dairy too?’
‘Who?’ I ask him.
‘Frank,’ he replies, before he realises what I’m getting at. ‘Frankie. You eat meat and dairy?’
‘Yeah…is that bad?’ he asks Nathan.
‘Only if you’re down with the torture and slaughter of helpless animals,’ he replies.
‘OK, enough,’ I interrupt.
‘You’re in luck,’ Viv says. ‘I made too many potatoes, so there are a few boiled ones left over.’
She hurries over to the kitchen grabs them, before sitting them down in front of Nathan. Just a plate of boiled potatoes.
‘Gravy?’ she asks.
‘Is there meat in it?’ he replies.
‘There’s Bisto in it,’ she laughs.
‘Yeah, there’s meat in it,’ I tell him as I serve Frankie his dinner, before loading up my own plate too.
‘What do you eat?’ Frankie asks him seriously.
‘I enjoy a nutritious diet, rich in whole foods,’ he tells him, as though that’s going to mean anything to him. ‘Fruit, veg, whole grains, nuts and seeds.’
‘That sounds rubbish,’ Frankie says honestly.
‘Well, sausages might taste nice, Frank, but pigs have feelings too, y’know. They want to be happy, living in beautiful places, not raised on crowded factory farms, only to be murdered so you can eat them.’
Frankie’s eyes widen with horror.
‘Nathan, he’s 8 years old,’ I insist. ‘Stop preaching, just eat your potatoes and be self-righteous and hungry.’
Frankie pushes his food around his plate.
‘It’s OK, kiddo, don’t let him put you off.’
‘Can I make you an omelette, Nathan,’ Viv suggests. ‘No cheese.’
‘Viv, omelettes are eggs,’ he points out.
‘But, hens lay eggs anyway? I don’t understand.’
‘Let’s not get into it now, hmm?’ I say.
The number of foods my son is interested in eating is too few as it is. He can’t afford to be put off the few things he does enjoy or he’ll starve.
‘So are you staying locally?’ I ask Nathan. ‘There are so many B&Bs here.’
‘I, er, wondered if I could stay here,’ he says hopefully, popping an entire potato into his mouth.
‘Here?’ I reply, shocked. ‘There’s no room here, sorry.’
I mean, there really isn’t any room here, but even if there were, there’s no way I’m going to let him just move in. He feels like a stranger.
‘Oh…it’s just, I don’t really have any money at the moment. It was hard enough scraping together enough to get home.’
I feel my brow furrow, because I see what’s going on here. The only reason he’s come back is because he has finally run out of money and options, and to pretend that it’s because he wants to finally connect with his son is despicable.
‘You can sleep in your van, right?’ I say.
‘Erm…’
‘It’s a campervan, right? They’re made for living in. You can use the bathroom here.’ Please! ‘But you’ll be fine on the drive, won’t you?’
If Nathan really does want to be here, he’ll be happy to sleep outside, just to be close to his son.
‘Yeah,’ he says, although he doesn’t seem happy with my suggestion. ‘OK.
‘Just you watch, Frankie, I’m gonna turn everything around. I’m gonna get a job, I’m gonna show you what a great dad I am – your mum will be begging me to move back in.’
I stab an entire sausage with my fork and raise it to my mouth.
‘Don’t count on it,’ I say, before taking a meaningful bite.
Chapter 22
I am doing something tonight that I haven’t done in a long, long time – I am sharing a bed with my mother.
‘This is fun,’ Viv says. ‘Just like old times.’
My nightie-clad mum climbs into the double bed next to me because, it turns out, after promising my mum she could have the bed, I am just that little bit too long to sleep on the sofa. My mum insisted I share with her, that I used to do it all the time when I was younger. Between my ex sleeping in my driveway and my mum sleeping in my bed, I’m not sure I could do more to put Alfie off if I tried – not that I’ve heard from him.
‘It’s not awkward at all,’ she insists.
‘Actually, there is one elephant in the room,’ I start. ‘Why on earth did you bring Nathan here? Without telling me?’
‘I thought it might be a nice surprise,’ she says brightly.
‘You didn’t though, did you? You know I hate surprises.’
My mum’s smile drops.
‘I guess I just thought that…raising a child is hard work as it is, and here you are, struggling, trying to do everything alone. And I’m not saying that you’re not doing a great job with Frankie, because you are, but if I have one regret, it’s that you never had a dad in your life. So when Nathan showed up at my door, asking for you, it seemed like fate – so I brought him with me.’
‘I understand why you did what you did,’ I assure her. ‘But I’m not sure it was the right thing to do. It sounds to me like he ran out of money and had nowhere to go, so he thought he’d come here and sponge off us.’
‘That may be the case,’ Viv replies. ‘But now that he’s met Frankie, how could he not be head over heels in love with him? Even if his intentions were wrong, he might make things right now. Can you imagine, if he mans up, steps up, and makes a life for himself here?’
‘I can,’ I say.
I try and imagine a life where Frankie and I live here, happily, with Nathan just down the road somewhere, always around, always in our business. Suddenly thinking he’s a part of our lives and that he can tell me how to raise my son – and all the while scaring off any man who even looks at me.
Having Nathan around really is the last thing I want but I have to
put my son first. And maybe my mum is right, maybe this will be just what he needs to step up and be a real dad.
‘So, how’s the deli going?’ my mum asks. ‘Ha, look at us, we’re like an old married couple, tucked up in bed early, asking each other how our days have been.’
‘Early? Viv, it’s 10. 30 p.m.’
‘On a Tuesday,’ she points out. ‘I have singles salsa on a Tuesday.’
How could I forget that my mum goes to singles salsa? ‘Psychological repression’ is what they call it, I think.
‘The deli isn’t going all that well. It’s pretty much ready, from a construction point of view, and it’s looking amazing. But we’re still waiting on the liquor licence – I think the locals kicked up a fuss there, as a means to stop us from opening. And I still need to name the damn thing, not that there’s going to be much point if it doesn’t open.’
‘Do you have any ideas?’
‘Run away, change my identity and start my life again,’ I suggest.
My mum laughs.
‘I meant for the name.’
‘Oh. No, nothing yet. I wanted something that would honour the town, maybe, not that they’d appreciate it.’
My mum thinks for a moment.
‘What about Deli-cious?’ she suggests. ‘Like delicious, but with emphasis on the deli part.’
‘I like the pun, but I don’t know if the locals will. Then again, they have a jam shop called Fruitopia.’
My mum snorts.
‘That’s fantastic,’ she says. ‘I’ll have to visit tomorrow, pick some up for breakfast. Do vegans eat jam?’
‘Vegans are no trouble – Nathan is a nightmare. I remember everything he ate would be preceded by a ten-question form, ensuring it was vegan friendly, Fairtrade and whether or not the person who grew the apple was in a good mood when he picked it.’
She laughs.
‘I really did think I was doing the right thing, bringing him here. I thought a male influence would do Frankie good. I didn’t realise you and Alfie were so close.’
‘Were being the operative word in that sentence. I haven’t heard from him since earlier.’
‘I went for a cup of tea with him,’ my mum says. She bites her lip theatrically.
‘Oh, God, Mum please don’t.’
‘I’m teasing, relax,’ she laughs. ‘It’s not that he’s too young for me, but you did see him first. We don’t want another David Dixon on our hands, do we?’
Oh God, I’m never going to live that one down. David Dixon is one of the few people I dated after Frankie was born and, for once, I actually felt like our first date went well. For our second, however, he offered to cook me dinner at his house. My mum and Frankie dropped me off, only for her car to break down outside. When she texted me to tell me that’s why they were still parked outside, I read her message out loud and David insisted I invited them in for some dinner. I was taken aback – not only was he on board with me having a kid, but he wanted to cook him and my mum dinner on our second date. I should have known he was too good to be true then. David spent the entire night flirting with my mum, right in front of my face. For me, that was enough to put me off the guy, but – and you’re not going to believe this – he has kept in touch with my mum. I was the one he dated briefly, and yet he kept in touch with her. They still exchange birthday and Christmas presents, which I find entirely weird. My mum assures me nothing romantic happened between them – I don’t care if it did, I just don’t want to think about it.
‘Alfie was supposed to be helping me with the deli, well, changing public opinion of the deli, but I don’t suppose he’ll want to be around me now, not after what happened today.’
‘He seems like a lovely person, don’t write him off just yet.’
I smile. We’ll see.
‘Well, I spoke to my bosses earlier and they said that, in the short term, there’s not much I can do, not until they figure the licence issue out, so I’ve got some free time to spend with you and Frankie.’
‘Oh, lovely,’ she replies. ‘You can show us the sights. Nathan too, I suppose.’
‘Yay,’ I say sarcastically. ‘Like one, big, happy family.’
Chapter 23
‘There’s someone at the door,’ I say brightly as I lift a pancake out of the pan and place it down on Frankie’s plate. Pancakes, strawberries and maple syrup – one of his absolute favourite breakfasts, because he’s having a rough time at the moment and Frosties just won’t cut it today.
With Frankie sitting at the table, concentrating on one of his drawings, I take the pan off the heat and go to answer it myself.
‘It’s Nathan,’ I say opening the door. ‘In his underpants.’
‘Morning,’ he says, inviting himself in. ‘Am I too late for breakfast?’
‘This isn’t a hotel,’ I point out. ‘We’re having pancakes so just help yourself to whatever you fancy.’
‘Rad,’ he replies, hurrying over to the fridge. I didn’t realise just how skinny he was yesterday, but seeing him now, I can’t help but notice the outline of his bones through his tanned skin.
There’s another knock at the door.
‘I’ll get it,’ I say, as my son eats his breakfast, my ex rifles through the fridge and my mum hogs the bathroom.
‘Lil, we need to talk about this fridge,’ Nathan calls after me, his head practically inside it. ‘It’s almost all meat or dairy.’
‘I work for a deli,’ I remind him. ‘They keep sending me things to try.’
‘It’s not good for our boy,’ he shouts.
I can’t help but roll my eyes as I open the front door.
‘Oh, hello,’ I say, greeting a deliveryman.
‘Good morning,’ he replies. ‘I’ve got a delivery of cheese for Miss Holmes.’
I clap my hands and jog on the spot excitedly for a second.
‘Music to my ears,’ I reply.
‘Whoa, no, absolutely not,’ Nathan says, hurrying over.
The deliveryman looks taken aback by the angry, underpants-wearing vegan marching towards him.
‘There is absolutely too much cheese in this house already,’ he insists.
‘Please ignore him,’ I say brightly, signing for my cheese. ‘Nathan, they’re samples. It’s my job.’
‘When did you sell your soul?’ he asks me.
‘Probably around the time I became a single mum,’ I reply.
I don’t have to go into work today, mostly because there’s nothing I can actually do at the moment except go through some of the samples Eric has sent me – a day eating food and getting paid for it, how awful.
‘Mum, I need the toilet,’ Frankie says.
‘I’ll go hurry Viv,’ I reply.
As I head for the bathroom there’s another knock at the door.
‘It’s like a madhouse here today,’ I say.
‘I’ll get it,’ Nathan insists. ‘If it’s more cheese, I’m telling them to take it away.’
‘Don’t you dare,’ I call back as I knock on the bathroom door. ‘Hey, Viv, are you going to be long? There’s a queue out here.’
‘Nearly done,’ she calls back.
I dash into my bedroom to grab my phone before heading back into the living room. I glance over at the front door, expecting to see Nathan refusing dairy products. Instead I find him standing face to face with Alfie.
‘It’s barbaric,’ Nathan tells him.
How long was I out of the room?!
‘I grew up on a dairy farm,’ Alfie starts, but Nathan doesn’t let him finish.
‘There we go, dude, you’re part of the problem,’ he insists.
Alfie just rolls his eyes.
‘I’m not arguing with a man in his drawers,’ Alfie says. ‘I’m just here to see Lily.’
‘Hey,’ I say, rushing over. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Yeah, not bad. Everything OK here?’ he replies.
‘Hmm,’ I say with an awkward laugh.
‘I wondered if we could talk,’ Alfie
says.
‘Erm, yeah, sure. Let me ask my mum if she’ll drop Frankie at school – we can talk now.’
‘There’s no rush,’ he insists.
‘No, no. It’s fine.’
‘I’ll take him to school,’ Nathan says.
‘You don’t know where it is,’ I point out.
‘Frankie can tell me.’
‘He’s 8 and he’s only been going there for a week. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but everything looks the same outside – green.’
Nathan frowns at me.
‘You don’t trust me?’
‘No?’ I laugh.
‘We can take them together,’ Viv says diplomatically, appearing behind us. ‘Bathroom is empty, Frankie. Go get ready.’
It suddenly occurs to me that Frankie has just been sat silently witnessing all this as he ate his breakfast.
‘OK,’ he replies, hopping down from his dining chair.
I hurry over to him.
‘Love you, kiddo,’ I tell him. ‘Sorry things are a bit weird at the moment.’
He gives me a half smile.
‘Love you,’ he replies quietly.
‘Can I get you a drink?’ I ask Alfie.
‘A gigantic glass of milk,’ Nathan suggests.
I shoot him a filthy look.
‘You should probably go put some clothes on,’ I tell him. ‘You turn up at school like that, they’ll put you on a list.’
He glances down at his nearly naked body.
‘Yeah, OK,’ he replies.
‘We’ll meet you outside,’ Viv suggests.
‘OK,’ he says again. ‘You two, remember, we eat in that kitchen.’
‘We?’ I laugh. ‘You haven’t even been here twenty-four hours – or eaten for that matter.’
Nathan goes outside, much to Alfie’s confusion.
As soon as Frankie is done in the bathroom, he grabs his lunch and heads out with Viv, leaving Alfie and me alone to chat.
‘Tea, coffee, the blood of the innocent?’ I offer.
‘Tea,’ he laughs. ‘Your man has a real thing about diary, doesn’t he? When he opened the door to me, he started banging on about how cheese was evil.’
‘He’s just upset that I’m not raising his son vegan,’ I tell him. ‘And he’s not my man.’
‘He’s answering your door in his underwear, but he’s not your man? Are you two still together?’ he asks.
Summer Secrets at the Apple Blossom Deli Page 14