Voyeur

by Christine Alvarez

  I palmed my cock as I watched Rod. He was so intent on the show that he didn’t give his own erection the time of day. The way he tilted his head and chewed his lip reminded me of him at work in the office.

  My breath came heavier, the true show barely registering.

  “Now it is my turn,” he said, standing up as though the show was nothing.

  “Umm,” I said, caught off guard with my dick in my hand.

  His cheeks were flushed and a heavy wave of liquor poured out with his declaration.

  “Hurry up, Jackson. The fun has just begun,” he was drunk and I was going to develop a serious case of the blue balls.

  I tried to stuff my hard dick back into my pants and stood. The room spun. I couldn’t remember how many drinks we had drank in almost an hour, but it had been enough. My body was light and numb from its effects.

  We shuffled out of the room without waiting for the end of the show, hand in hand once again, but at this point I was way too drunk to care. We made our way back up the hall and turned down the other.

  “Room fourteen,” Rod said to the bouncer that stood at the beginning of that one as well.

  “You will have to wait for a moment,” the bouncer said, giving us both a rueful smile.

  I thought he would request another room, but he just nodded his head. I remained silent and uneasy. I never made it down this hall. I had no clue where we were heading or why, but I didn’t like it, even this drunk I couldn’t drop my guard.

  As we waited, the master came out of a door down the hall, carrying the redhead in his large arms. I kept my eyes averted. This was their time and I could no longer justify watching them in such an intimate setting. This was not their show. Rod did the same. Within minutes, cleaners were in the vacated room. Seconds before the two women exited the room, the scent of bleach floated down the hall.

  “Okay,” the bouncer said, stepping aside.

  We walked down the hall, Rod stopping us in front of the room the other men vacated.

  “Are you serious?” I said, my words a little slurred, but I sounded more surprised than drunk.

  “It is my turn for show and tell,” he said, opening this door as well.

  As soon as the door shut behind us, I got it. I knew why he was analyzing the show. I knew why each motion, each sound, each position that the master put his submissive in intrigued him. He loved to watch, but only to learn.

  I grabbed him, this time it was my turn to catch him off guard, slamming him backwards. He let out a loud, pain-filled huff just as my lips landed on his. My heart raced as I finally got it. Knowing that we shared something this intimate, knowing that we had nothing else to hide helped the alcohol lower my guard. I would take him tonight, I would give my best friend what he has wanted our entire hormone-crazed lives.

  Sweat, liquor and cologne assaulted my senses as he ran his soft business hands up and under my shirt. Rod kissed me with greed and with each swipe of our tongues, I could almost taste his trepidation. This wouldn’t be passionate or anywhere near making love.

  I jerked my lips from his, yanking a groan from him with me. My head spun and rolled, reminding me just how drunk we both were. I stared at him as he watched me with questions practically pouring from his eyes. I could see my own reflection staring back at me from the glass. The one way mirror.

  “Second thoughts already?” Each of his words came slurred and rode along waves of sweet liquor.

  “This isn’t going to work,” I said, knowing that it was my own plan that had backfired, putting us in the very scenario that I had wanted to avoid.

  “You fucking want me just as much as I want you, Jackson.” He grinned, grabbing my ass, forcing my hard-on up against his own. He was proving a point that I could no longer deny.

  This was his signature drunk line. I heard it each and every time we had way too much to drink. I would then say how much he was full of shit and that it was probably time for bed. I fucking did and I have wanted to bend him over and fuck him for so many years.

  “I will regret this in the morning,” I breathed, it was hard to think with the way he was grinding against me.

  I shut my eyes and tried to ignore him, tried to ignore his hands that slid up my shirt. All of my rules were suddenly unobtainable. I needed to stop this. I needed to be the one to say no.

  “You don’t have to,” he growled, running his teeth along my neck. I shuddered, not only was each of his movements a delicious reminder of what I have been saying no to, but the look of lust and need that stared back at me was hard to resist.

  “This will change everything,” I whispered, pawing at the clothes that kept me away from fucking away my only true friend.

  “I hope for the good,” he growled, shimmying my shirt over my head.

  I had no strength to fight him anymore. He was too close, too gorgeous and we had gone too far to end this now while there was still time to salvage any part of this friendship.

  “If this is what you want,” I started before my shirt hit the floor and his lips were back on mine. This kiss was hard, needy and quick. “Then you will have it,” I finished, shoving him away.

  The show that had teased my cock just seconds from release guaranteed I would get off first. Rod stumbled back more clumsily than he would have if he had been sober. The table was the only thing keeping him upright.

  I laughed, watching him right himself. This was the only time I ever got to witness Rod be anything but respectable and proper.

  I stalked toward him, unbuttoning my pants. By the time I reached him, I was clad in nothing but my boxer briefs. All I could do was hope that he couldn’t see the ounce of regret that still swirled in my gut.

  “You are fucking perfect,” he slurred.

  He was wrong. Perfect would never make it on the list of how to describe Jackson Steele. If our show and tell didn’t reveal that, he would soon find out.

  “And you are still wearing clothes,” I reminded him as I jerked at his belt. I ignored the battle going on. I was tired of being good, of being the better man and friend.

  Undoing the button and sliding down his zipper was the easy part. I watched him as he watched my hands. I pulled both his underwear and pants down in a few quick shimmies. His semi-hard cock sprang out, grazing my arm in the process.

  I didn’t know what came over me but as soon as he stepped out of his jeans, I dropped to my knees, taking my friend into my mouth. His dick wasn’t fully hard and its length slid along my tongue. I swallowed, taking more of him in. He moaned and pushed his entire body forward, shoving his now rock hard cock against the back of my throat.

  I held back the urge to gag, sliding my lips back up to the head. Looking up, I found his eyes fixed on the work I made of sucking his cock. Seeing his face revved up that voice screaming for me to turn back now.

  I think he saw exactly what I was thinking. Grabbing my hair, he pulled me from my knees. I couldn’t let him take control. I accepted his soft kiss. Let his tongue lick away the beads of cum that I had stolen from his plump head.

  “I love tasting me on my lips,” he breathed against my lips once we broke apart.

  My head spun, not only from being intoxicated, but from what Rod had just said. Love.

  “Don’t talk.” I couldn’t take his sentimental words.

  I took advantage of the moment, turning him without warning. The table was so close it made it easy to bend him over. I ran my hand down the curve of his ass. He worked out a few times a week, he was toned and perfect.

  “Beautiful,” I breathed, stepping back and taking in the man that had grabbed onto the leather straps on the opposite side of the table.

  I smacked the inside of his thighs. “Spread ’em, big boy,” I said, half joking and fully serious.

  “God, you’re demanding,” he said, spreading his legs anyways.

  With one hand I stroked my dick, smiling at how eager he was. Rod looked over his shoulder, straining even further to be able to watch me. He licked his lips, s
ucking in a shuddering breath when I grabbed a bottle of lube that sat atop a small table against the wall. He turned his head, following every move. He was observant. I glanced back at the window. I would never know if someone was watching on the other side. If they were business acquaintances, or maybe social elitists that knew what kind of man the CEO of Steele Corporations was.

  Fuck it, I never cared any other time so caring now would be useless. I took a few steps, placing myself between his legs. My mind screamed for me to stop even as I popped the lid on the lube bottle.

  I hadn’t lied, he was beautiful. Every inch of his toned body. The way his back arched. The way his chest and back moved with each shuddering breath.

  “Please,” he begged, shoving his ass backwards. He wasn’t restrained so the fact that he still remained there was all him. He was being patient, waiting for me to make the final decision.

  My dick hardened at his plea, the way he needed me. It was so sexy the way he needed me. The way my heart leapt at his willingness to lose what we have for something more.

  Listening to the alcohol and the sheer need to take him, I squirted a small amount of the cold gel in my hand. I rubbed it through my fingers while using my other hand to run it up and across his balls and down the other leg. He squirmed as a light groan escaped his lips. I sucked in a breath as I slid my slick fingers across my dick, indulging in the feeling of my own fingers as they swirled around the tip.

  This whole thing felt surreal and in slow motion. I ran my lube-slickened head along his ass. The table and position gave me a perfect position. Instead of my dick, I slid two fingers in, loving the response it elicited. His low moan and the slight arch of his large body would be my undoing.

  I pumped in and out, building the anticipation. I wanted to see his skin flush, to feel his balls tighten and release as I massaged them. I loved how he physically craved more, pushing backwards, accepting the complete length.

  His moans and groans became louder. I watched Rod grab hold of the straps, pulling them, jerking the table back and forth. Being deep in his ass after so many years was mind blowing.

  I worked his ass and dick simultaneously, giving him everything and taking nothing. As his ass squeezed tightly, holding onto my fingers, I could no longer take it. I couldn’t watch him as my dick felt like it would combust at any moment. In one slow motion I slid my fingers out, running them all around the rim.

  “I hope,” I began as the head of my cock slid exactly where it had wanted to be. The rest of my sentence came out in my own moan. He was so tight and the way he tensed around me set my nerves ablaze.

  “You hope,” he prompted, though his words were barely audible as his head tilted back. A sigh was the only thing that I needed to hear before I grabbed his thighs. I knew this wouldn’t be love making and it wasn’t going to be soft, but in this moment, we could pretend. I slid just a bit further, feeling the muscles try and swallow me up whole.

  The light in this small room was spectacular. Flecks of soft yellow bounced off the beads of sweat that had formed around his forearms from pulling the restraints.

  I held myself there. We were truly connected at this point. I grabbed ahold of his waist, pulling out almost completely before thrusting myself deeper than before. He groaned loudly, the table swinging him in my direction.

  I took him harder and faster. He was simply perfect and I couldn’t contain myself. I couldn’t hold back. My whole body thrummed with finality. I shut my eyes. The way his body moved with mine. The feel of his hips beneath my palms. How my fingers moved in time with his involuntary thrusts. Everything was seared into my mind.

  I began pumping in time to his own assistance. For the first time in a very long time, I didn’t need to see. To watch. I kept my eyes closed, focusing everything on the feeling each time I went balls deep. On his hard, frantic breaths.

  “Oh, God,” he yelled, uncaring if anyone could hear us.

  My own cries of ecstasy surprised myself. He felt so right. I found myself fighting the sporadic rhythm my thrusts had taken on. I knew the end was near and I no longer wanted this to end.

  I slid my hand up his spine, putting our bodies parallel to each other. I wanted us to be as close as possible. I pulled his head back, kissing him. It was sloppy and barely obtainable.

  I fucked him hard, slamming him painfully into the side of the table. His groans grew louder, uncaring that he would be bruised in the morning. Finally, I let loose, filling him up, feeling it flood out and down my own legs even as I was still buried deeply inside.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  I finished zipping my suitcase. Spending a few days in Florida would normally count as a vacation, but this was purely business. A business venture that I gladly jumped at the minute my brother brought it up.

  He had said staying away from Jon for a bit may cool things down, but Jon wasn’t the one I was running from. I had been avoiding Rod for the last few days and he knew it, trying a few times to corner me before finally giving up.

  Though I could remember each and every kiss from that night. I could still picture the way his heart pounded against his chest, but I blamed it on alcohol. I knew Rod would call bullshit and it would turn into a fight.

  I already knew what would happen next. Shit would change. Shit I couldn’t afford to let change. I had slipped, whether it be from the alcohol, as I firmly wanted to believe, or my unsettled emotions from earlier in the day, it was still a slip that I shouldn’t have allowed to happen.

  Rod had dove head first into the Moore project. It had turned into a huge stepping stone for the company and I was secretly proud of what he had accomplished. From what I had heard, he was a shark in the way of negotiations and had made it virtually impossible for the smaller company to turn him down.

  I checked over my appearance once more in the mirror. Dressed to the nines at four a.m. wasn’t exactly my cup of tea, but it was one concession that couldn’t be avoided. I had a meeting scheduled within thirty minutes of landing.

  My cell rang right on time, indication that the cab to the airport was waiting. The yellow cab was shrouded in exhaust, painting the chilly morning sky. The cabby popped the trunk as he got out. I waved away his help as I threw the case in the dirty interior next to a larger, plum suitcase.

  I slammed the lid violently, knowing exactly who had hitched a ride. I stood there long enough for the cabby to shake me back to the present.

  “I’m coming,” I said, preparing for exactly what I didn’t need right now.

  “Hello, my dearest little sister,” I said, trying to ignore the hard scowl that was forever placed on her face every time we were in the same room.

  “Don’t act like you are happy I’m here,” she barked.

  The cabby shut the door and we sat purposely avoiding eye contact. I watched out the window as the buildings passed by. This was the only time in this town that the streets were quiet. That the technology-diseased zombies weren’t screaming at passing taxis and ignoring each other as though the world was entirely in those phones.

  Florida would be a short but welcomed change. I had made sure to rent a condo separate from society, though having my sister tagging along would make my seclusion that much harder to achieve. I had wanted to focus only what was required on work and the rest of the time hiding away.

  If hiding from myself was an option, I would. Jon had made sure our paths never crossed, but I had heard through the grapevine that his nose was broken and his face was about five shades of purple.

  I hadn’t spoken to my mother. I didn’t want to. I wouldn’t be able to apologize for what I had done. She would want, no, demand that I apologize to her and Jon and my refusal would just add fuel to the fire.

  I shook my head, watching the lights of the airport come into view. I had warned Rod that things were going to change. He knew me better than anyone. I had told him on several occasions that he was the only good thing in my life and I couldn’t handle jeopardizing that.

  Stupidly fucking him
, no matter how right it had felt, even after learning that my kinks didn’t scare him and that he could keep up with me, step by step, wasn’t enough. I lost more than I could handle. I lost my friend. I couldn’t treat him like another conquest. I couldn’t risk hurting him any more than I had.

  “You are awfully quiet. No snippy retorts?” I had hoped Emily would keep quiet for the remainder of us being trapped in such close proximity.

  We weren’t the talking type. Our sibling bond, like all of my other relationships, was dysfunctional and broken as well. It had been years since we had a civil conversation that didn’t land us in a fight.

  She was cold and all business. I wasn’t sure what had happened to change her, but I could still remember a time when she smiled. A time that we could laugh and joke. She was just as witty as myself. Back then, her spirit was as free as mine.

  “No.” That is all I could say. I still didn’t look at her. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially my sister, who had labeled me a fuck up sooner than anyone else.

  “Hmm,” was all she said as we took the exit to Gate B.

  **********************

  “What are you doing, Emily?” I asked as the plane’s seatbelt light popped on, signaling our pending decent.

  “Trying to relax,” her tone was bland as ever. She had made herself comfortable across the aisle, her cheetah print sleeping mask blocking out the dim light that glowed overhead.

  “No, what are you doing here?” I said, putting a strong emphasis on the word here.

  The pilot’s voice came over the speakers, thanking us for flying Southwest.

  “Look,” she said, pulling the mask up and off her head. She looked my direction, the first real eye contact we had made in the last few hours. “You need a babysitter and Declan is too bogged down with helping Jon close a smaller merger,” she finished, pushing her table back up into its locking position.

  I knew Jon didn’t need help. The merger was small and inconsequential. I may not like him, I may wish he would drop off a cliff somewhere and be lost to the world forever, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew how to do business. If the way he had snowed my family was any indication of his way with words and his ability to bend others to what he wanted, he had proven himself tenfold.