by Toni Aleo
Both his brothers turned back to him, their eyes wide, and for a moment, he thought he said the wrong thing. Though, he felt it was entirely true. When a slow grin crept over Seth’s face, he held up his fist. “That’s fucking right, brother. You’re quiet and a little weird, but smart.”
Laurence laughed as Matty pressed his fist to Seth’s. Laurence added, “He is, but he’s right. Dad was never around.”
“He was too busy making his way to the top.”
“And because of that, we depended on each other,” Matty said, and both of them nodded.
Seth scoffed. “Well, we did. You and Avery stuck together like a pair of symbiotic twins.”
Matty smiled as he nodded. “But now, we all have each other.”
They both grinned back. “We do.”
His heart picked up in cadence as he watched their faces carefully before saying, “Through thick and thin, right?”
Seth’s brows rose as Laurence’s face twisted in confusion. “You dying or something?”
“Yeah, what’s going on?”
You can do this. You can do this. You’re doing this for yourself. For Wells. Open your fucking mouth!
“Umm,” he stammered before leaning forward and putting the controller on the table. “I, um, actually need to talk to you two about something.”
Oh, fuck, he was doing this. Yes, he was doing this. He loved Wells. He was a gay man, and damn it, he didn’t care what anyone thought. Wells would do anything for him; he’d proved that over and over again. It was time for Matty to do the same. But when he looked up, ready to utter the words he wasn’t sure would be well received, he was stunned when he noticed they were scooting closer to him, their eyes on him, concern filling their features.
“You can tell us anything, Matty,” Seth reassured him, reaching out and smacking him on the back.
Laurence scoffed, leaning on his knees. “Yeah, don’t be gay. Just tell us.”
Don’t be gay. It always meant don’t be a sissy or a crybaby to them when they were growing up. That was until Matty realized that he was gay and those terms didn’t remotely describe the person he was. Or better yet, the person he would become. Because the person he was when they were growing up would never surface again. He had grown, he had learned, and damn it, he had loved.
Fully.
And it was time to do that without reservation or worry about someone finding out.
When his eyes started to cloud with tears, he looked down and took a breath. His heart was jackhammering in his chest, his skin didn’t even feel like his own anymore, but he had to do this. Looking up, he alternated his gaze between the two of them as he said, “I’m in a relationship.”
Both of them rolled their eyes. “Fuck, I thought you had cancer or some shit.”
“Right, me too,” Laurence agreed as he leaned back. “A relationship is no big deal, Matty.”
“Yeah. What, is this the first girl you’ve ever loved?”
Matty swallowed hard. “No, he’s actually the second.”
They both paused, and slowly Seth turned to look at him as Laurence just gawked. “What?”
Holding Laurence’s gaze, Matty said, “I’ve been with him for over a year, but we took a break when I wouldn’t come out.”
They both just blinked, their jaws practically to the floor.
Clearing his throat, Matty said, “His name is Wells. Wells Lemiere. He plays for Colorado. Um, he’s great, and I love him—very much.”
The silence was painful as his brothers both stared at him, then each other before looking away. He watched as Seth’s Adam’s apple bobbed before he turned back to Matty. “You’re gay?”
He nodded, and for once, he felt confident as he said, “I am.”
“Do Mom and Dad know?”
“No, not yet. Only you guys and Avery know,” he answered, his heart still not slowing down any in his chest. “And I want to tell them. So please don’t tell them first.”
Laurence held his hands up. “No. What? Really? When did this happen?”
Matty shrugged. “I knew I liked guys when I was in middle school.”
Laurence’s eyes widened. “Whoa, and you never told us?”
“I was embarrassed and angry,” he answered with a grimace. “I didn’t think I could be who I wanted because no one would accept me.” His brothers both looked away, drawing in deep breaths. “I’ve wanted so badly to be loved by Dad and to be noticed that I’ve hidden this part of me, but I can’t anymore. Wells means everything to me, and I can’t lose him.”
Seth’s face was twisted in distress as he shook his head. “We’re your brothers. You should have told us.”
“I couldn’t,” he answered, his heart in his throat. “I had a hard time accepting who I was, but not anymore. I love myself. I love Wells, and I want to come out with the support of my family.”
“Dad won’t be okay with this,” Laurence said.
“I know,” Matty replied as a tear rolled down his face. “That’s why I asked if you two would be there through thick and thin.”
Seth looked back at him, holding his gaze. “You’re my brother. I love you, no matter what or who you love. You didn’t have to live with all that by yourself, though. We would have been there for you.”
Matty’s shoulders fell in relief. “Thank you.”
But when he turned to look at Laurence, he was getting up. “I need a minute. Sorry, I’m a little stunned here. You like dudes,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re a dude, and that’s not okay. It won’t be okay when Dad finds out either. You know that, right? Are you sure this isn’t a phase?”
Matty stood too, his shoulders going back as he held his brother’s gaze. “No. I know who I love.”
Silence stretched between them as Laurence shook his head. “Matty, that’s gross. We are men, we are supposed to be with women. Make babies and shit. That’s how we were raised.”
“I’m not made that way, though. I was created differently,” he tried, but Laurence looked disgusted as Seth stood, holding his hands up.
“Laur, he’s our brother. We support him no matter what.”
“No, I can’t,” he said, turning on his heel. “I’m sorry. And when this comes out, it’s going to be mayhem. I hope you two know that.”
“Laurence!”
“No. Shit, Matty, I wanted you to fix things with Avery, not come out as a fag. Come on. Fuck,” he complained, shaking his head as he went out the front door, slamming it behind him. For some pathetic reason, Matty waited for the door to open up again, for Laurence to pop his head back in and say “Got ya!” But he never did.
When Seth cupped his shoulder, Matty looked over at him, and Seth shrugged. “I’m sorry, man, you know he and Dad are close.”
Looking back at the door, still hopeful that it would open, Matty muttered, “I thought we were closer.”
Obviously, Matty was wrong.
Twenty-Two
Fighting his nerves, Wells lifted his hand up and knocked hard against the door in front of him. He’d always loved the look of Matty’s apartment building, its sleek interior with old-world outside and a doorman he swore had worked there since 1980. He was a jazzy guy, with a fedora and popped collar, named Fred. Wells adored him, and it made him feel good that Fred had remembered him when he’d arrived.
Especially since he hadn’t planned on coming to New York yet. They were supposed to be back in Colorado by now, doing some outdoorsy type shit before coming back to the city for dinner with Matty’s family. But when Matty called, a bit panicked when his brother didn’t take his news well, Wells didn’t think. He just got on a plane and flew to be with him.
Maybe Wren was right. He really didn’t think much when it came to Matty, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. He wasn’t letting down Jensen and Wren. The move was done, he’d miss Tate Odder’s retirement party and Wren’s baby shower, but he’d spent so much damn money on his nephew while he was there, he doubted he’d be missed. Tho
ugh, he hated that he’d miss all that. Plus, it would have been nice to hang for another couple days since, once the season started, he wouldn’t see any of his family much. But Matty needed him, even if he didn’t say he did.
When the door opened, Matty’s eyes widened, and God bless him, they were bloodshot. His cheeks were dark with color, and it was obvious he had been crying. Dropping his bag, Wells took Matty in his arms, holding him tight, and just like that, Matty let go, his body shaking as he cried.
At that moment, Wells knew he had made the right choice.
Matty was such a big man, his arms could go around Wells twice, but he felt so small in Wells’s arms as he held him, dusting kisses along his temple and whispering that it was okay, that he was there. They stood like that for a long time. Thankfully, Matty was the only one who lived on that floor since his last neighbor moved out a couple weeks before. It gave them the freedom to stand there without anyone seeing Matty cry. Wells knew that Matty wouldn’t want that. He understood Matty didn’t like to cry and especially not to have people see him do it.
When Matty pulled back, he shook his head. “Wren’s baby shower?”
“It’s fine. She’s okay with it.”
“But I wanted to fly down for it.”
“Maybe we still can. Come here.”
But before Wells could pull him back into his arms, Matty whispered, “I can’t believe you came.”
“I thought you needed me.”
His lip quivered as he nodded. “More than you know. Please come in,” he said, moving past Wells and reaching for his bag. Placing his hand on Matty’s arm, Wells met his gaze and smiled. “I’ll always be here.”
Matty swallowed past the lump in his throat as he nodded. “Thank you.”
“This will work out.”
Matty shook his head as he shut the door. “No, you didn’t see his face, the disgust on it. It was heartbreaking.” His voice broke a bit, and Wells reached for him. “I thought they would be like Avery. They’re my brothers, they’re supposed to love me, or at least, that’s the stupid fucking thought Avery put in my head. I feel so goddamn dumb. I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy.”
“It should have been. I’m sorry. He was probably just shocked,” Wells said softly, his heart hurting so much for his lover. “It was probably a lot to take in at once.”
“No, I tried calling him,” he said against Wells’s shoulder. “And he told me he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t support something he thought was wrong. He made me feel like I was doing something disgusting. He said that our parents wouldn’t support me either, that I really needed to reevaluate my life. That I had time.”
When Matty’s body shook with a sob, Wells held him tighter. “It’s not wrong, Matty, and don’t you dare let him make you feel sorry for who you are.” Pulling back, he took Matty’s face in his hands. “You are fucking awesome. Okay? You are a skilled and beautiful hockey player. A soft soul that you try to keep locked away, but once you set it free, it’s out and it’s amazing. You fought battles inside yourself, and you fucking won. You went to your sister, you made amends, and now you are working on a great relationship with her. You fought for me. You love, Matty, God, you love with all your heart. All of it. And, baby, I love you.” When Matty’s lips started to wobble, his eyes blinking as the tears fell, Wells had to fight back his own tears that were threatening to fall. “This will work out. I promise you. And if it doesn’t, then fuck them. You have Avery, you have Seth, you have my family, my friends. But fuck, Matty, no matter what, you have me. All of me. I’m yours.”
A single tear rolled down Wells’s face, his eyes so dark and full of pain. Matty moved, wrapping his arms around Wells, taking him in his embrace. Their lips came together in an unexpected but oh so welcome kiss. Soon, though, it turned demanding as Matty squeezed Wells in his arms, deepening the kiss as the silence descended on them. Wells knew what Matty was doing. He wasn’t good with words, but he was great with actions, and within seconds, they were ripping each other’s clothes off. And when Matty took ahold of Wells’s ass cheeks, molding them in his hands, his cock brushing against his, Wells was rock hard within seconds.
Pulling away, he captured Matty’s face in his hands, pressing his nose to his as he inhaled deeply. Wiping away Matty’s tears with his thumbs, Wells smiled. “I’ll always be yours.”
Matty hiccupped a sob before he took Wells’s mouth with his again, kissing him long and hard. Wells’s toes curled against the hardwood as they stood in the kitchen of Matty’s apartment. For a split second, Wells wanted to look around, see if Matty had changed anything, even though he was sure he hadn’t. Wells had been the one to decorate when Matty first moved in. But he didn’t have time to admire anything before Matty was pulling him into his bedroom.
Since Wells took the last flight to New York, it was late. The room was dark, the lights of the city skyline the only illumination filling the room. Matty hit his stereo, and soft music filled the room before he turned, pulling Wells into his arms. Their hard, naked bodies pressed together as their lips met. As they swayed to the soft, crooning voice of Ed Sheeran, Wells breathed deeply while their hands slid along each other’s body. The ridges of Matty’s stomach, the crease at his V, and his thick buns Wells was pretty sure were his favorite part. Except for his eyes, of course. Those suckers were heaven.
Soon they found themselves in the bed, Matty between Wells’s legs as he kissed his way down his chest and then his stomach before taking his cock in his hand and sucking him into his mouth. Letting his head fall back, Wells arched off the bed as Matty took him slow and deep inside his mouth. Matty’s mouth was heaven, warm and so fucking perfect as he drew out each stroke, taking him so deep Wells was almost whimpering. It was perfect, he was perfect, fuck…
Wells clutched the sheets with his fingers as he fought for breath, his thighs shaking as Matty sped up and then slowed, driving Wells completely insane. “Remember I can do this to you later.”
“Please,” Matty practically begged, running his tongue along the tip of Wells’s cock. “I want you to. I want it all.”
Choking as he heard Matty’s words, Wells was lost as Matty continued his torture that had Wells squirming on the bed. It wasn’t how Wells usually took his pleasure, but Matty was driving him crazy. Taking him deeper, Matty sped up, fondling his balls in his hand. That’s all it took before Wells was hollering out, exploding in Matty’s mouth. Matty sucked him hard, and Wells cried out once more, smacking the side of the bed as Matty drank him dry.
Falling back in the bed, spent, Wells gasped for breath as Matty kissed up his thighs and his pelvis before running his tongue up his belly, his chest, and then to his jaw. Wells knew he hadn’t shaved, so it had to be rough, but Matty didn’t seem to care as he covered Wells’s body with his own, nibbling on his lover’s jaw. He was so hard and thick against Wells, but he couldn’t move. “I'm pretty sure you sucked the life out of me.”
Matty’s body shook with his laughter as he kissed Wells’s face. “That’s okay. You don’t have to move. Just lie there. Be pretty.”
Opening his eyes, Wells met Matty’s gaze. The lights from the city were beautiful against his face, sparkling in his eyes. “Last time I checked, you’re the pretty one.”
He shrugged. “See, I think it’s the other way around.”
A flutter tickled Wells’s gut as Matty reached into his nightstand, getting out the lube before repositioning himself between Wells’s legs and pushing his thighs up with his own. Opening the bottle of lube, Matty squirted it in his hand, running it down his full length before spreading some on Wells’s hole. When he jumped, Matty laughed. “And you say I’m the baby.”
Wells made a face. “That shit is cold! You keep it arctic in here.”
Directing his cock right into Wells’s entrance, Matty leaned down, nipping at his lips. “Let me warm you up, then, huh?”
Before they could say anything else, Matty pushed into him, his fingers biting into Wells’s
thighs as he continued to move in and out of him, his grunts loud and harsh against Wells’s lips. He wanted to say that Matty was fucking his feelings out, but he wasn’t. Matty was looking into Wells’s eyes, his gaze full of love and admiration. A little grin sat on his lips as he continued to fuck Wells into oblivion. Wells was aware he thought it often, but he knew no other man could ever come close to Matty Haverbrooke.
His everything.
When Matty stilled, a guttural yell leaving his beautiful lips, Wells smiled as he watched him, the lights making him seem almost unreal. The shadows they cast on his body were insane, and when Matty fell on him and their lips found each other, Wells rolled him over so that he was on top, cupping Matty’s face as they kissed. Parting only slightly, Wells moved his thumbs along Matty’s jaw, his lips playing with his boyfriend’s as their gazes stayed locked.
When they both smiled, Wells’s heart exploded in his chest. He swore it did. “It’s gonna be okay.”
Matty nodded slowly. “I know. It just sucks.”
“It does, but it happens, you know?”
“Laurence was always a loose cannon,” he joked, and Wells smiled.
“I thought that was Seth?”
“Him too,” he said, and Wells laughed, pressing his forehead to Matty’s. “I just kinda feel like I’m at rock bottom right now, and I’m having to climb out. Then I’ll probably be knocked back down when I come out to my mom and dad. If Laurence was bad, my dad will be ten times worse.”
Wells held Matty’s gaze and, with a shrug, whispered, “But at least you’re on the right side of rock bottom with me, so I can always be there to help you up.”
Matty smiled. “This is true.”
“So keep your head up, okay?”
“Okay,” he answered, pressing his lips to Wells’s. Without moving, Wells stared into Matty’s eyes. “I have a question.”
Wells smiled, moving his fingers along Matty’s jaw, through the stubble on his chin. “What’s that?”