by Jex Lane
“And, pray tell, what is appropriate Krampus hunting attire?”
“Goddess, you’re a warrior and it’s a monster, put it together. Armor. Weapon.” She marched past him and disappeared into the closet, leaving Tarrick behind with an amused look on his face. Jet wasn’t sure what he found so funny, she was right: suits were hardly ideal for fighting. When she emerged again, she had a bundle of clothes in her arms. She dumped them on the bed.
Tarrick looked over the pile. “That’s more than a single change of clothes. And those are the wrong size.”
“It’s not all for you.”
“Unless you grow to 6’5 and pack on sixty pounds in the next few moments, I don’t think these will fit you.”
She turned sharply. Frustration rolled off her. “You don’t know as much as you think you do.”
“No?”
Jet went to Fate-Pebble’s side to support her. The incubus could be a little too oppressive sometimes, and right now he was playing with her a little. Jet had seen it happen too often.
“No. Tonight you’ll see and learn six things you never knew before.”
“I can go years without learning something new, and now I will get six in a single night?” A sly smirk lifted on his lips.
A little growl bubbled up from her chest. She looked down at Jet then looked over to the clothes then back at Jet.
No.
She looked to the clothes again.
No.
“Jet,” she said; stern.
No. Anything but that.
“They won’t allow you into where we’re going.”
He’ll wait outside.
Her face softened and her big silver eyes began to water.
To use Rage-Boulder’s favorite word: fuck.
Jet grumbled.
He’d done this for Fate-Pebble a couple of times, but it had always been in private so that others wouldn’t find out. Gargoyles would mock him. It was looked down upon.
But alright. He’d endure it for his stone.
He took a few steps away from Fate-Pebble and began the process of reshaping his body. Fur fused back into him, his paws stretched and reformed, his spine popped as it straightened. He rolled his shoulders as they widened and shook out his new limbs.
His pitch-black skin had the texture of stone. Bald everywhere, he hadn’t bothered to replicate hair—too much effort and he didn’t plan to stay in this form for long. He found its inefficiency irritating. Four limbs were better than two, and his jaw was far too small to do any significant damage with his bite.
Much taller than Fate-Pebble now, he looked down at her.
She smiled wide at him, then even wider when she looked at Tarrick.
Tarrick’s eyes darted up and down Jet. “I—”
“Your mouth is hanging open, Warlord.” He closed it. “It’s okay to admit that in a thousand years, you had no idea gargoyles could take human form. Number one, by the way. Five more to go.”
“This is…” Tarrick cleared this throat and straightened his tie. “Unexpected.” Tarrick took a step to Jet.
“No,” Jet said, his voice rough from disuse.
Tarrick paused. “No?”
“I have no interest in sex,” Jet said in an effort to stop Tarrick before the incubus made his move.
The incubus covered any surprise he might have had of Jet speaking more than a single word at a time and instead chuckled. “Why would you assume—”
“Seriously?” Fate-Pebble asked. “He’s sat on your roof for years. Even I can tell you want to try and fuck him—ew, by the way—and I don’t even know you that well. And you”—she pointed to Jet’s groin—“if you’re not going to bother to form a full-sized dick, you might be better off going the Ken doll route. Although, I guess it’s better than having a massive penis like everyone else. Thank goddess Gavyn has a normal-sized dick. I like not feeling sore every time we make love.”
What is a Ken doll? Jet almost asked out loud but decided he didn’t want to hear the answer. The size didn’t really matter. He wouldn’t be using his penis in this form.
“Not everyone is ‘massive’. I’ve heard that the pleasure guardian is on the smaller side…” Tarrick said.
“Did you just—” Fate-Pebble regarded Tarrick for a moment. “How do you know how big Devak is? Did you order someone to tell you his dick size?”
Tarrick shrugged. “It came up in friendly conversation.”
“You totally did order someone.” Fate-Pebble laughed. “Oh wait, I see it now. You’re right. You didn’t actually order anyone. You slept with a woman who saw Devak and my father together and you asked her during pillow talk. Sneaky. I can’t believe you compared your cock to Devak’s. Also, he’s not small, he’s average and I hate that I know that. My life is way too weird.”
“Fate-Pebble,” Jet said. She looked at him. “Krampus.”
“Oh. Right.” She pointed to the clothes on the bed. Jet picked up a pair of black slacks and with some effort managed to get into them. The buttons on the white dress shirt proved to be harder. They were too slippery and tiny for his big fingers. Fate-Pebble took over.
She patted his chest. “All set.”
“Perhaps we should give him shoes.” Tarrick, who hadn’t bothered to change into armor, pointed at Jet’s feet. “Unless we won’t be around humans.” He pulled out his comm. “I need a pair of size thirteen Oxfords brought to my room. Black.”
“Don’t scowl,” Fate-Pebble said. “It makes you look too scary.”
Jet tilted his head slightly. He couldn’t imagine how he could be frightening in this fleshy form but stopped scowling. He wasn’t completely sure if he managed to achieve it or not.
A hunter arrived with shoes and left as quickly. Fate-Pebble helped Jet into the socks that Tarrick had produced, then the shoes.
“Come see,” she said and pulled him over to the mirror. He half-stumbled, trying to keep his balance on his two limbs. He realized he may have overcompensated when shaping this body. He dwarfed her and Tarrick, his frame broad and muscular.
The clothes that wrapped around him felt as if they might strangle him. Without thinking, he ripped open the top two buttons and would have kept going if Fate-Pebble hadn’t put her hand on his.
“Don’t. You can’t walk around naked.”
“Unless you’d like to stay here. We can cancel Krampus hunting and”—Tarrick’s eyes flicked up and down Jet—“learn more about gargoyles. Tell me, are you disinterested in sex in general or is it me?”
Fate-Pebble groaned and tugged at Jet. “Let’s go.”
The way Tarrick smiled behind them made Jet think that part of what he said was to annoy her rather than actual desire.
“You’re going to regret not changing,” Fate-Pebble said to him. “At least bring a weapon. And not the one my father hates.”
Tarrick grabbed a heavy winter coat off a rack. “There are weapons in the car, Fate-Pebble.”
Jet surged forward, grabbing the back of Tarrick’s neck and slamming him into the door before he had a chance to open it. Tarrick’s forehead split open and blood seeped from the wound.
When Jet spun him around, Tarrick’s eyes were glowing bright purple. The incubus didn’t struggle or try to attack, but his hands were clawed and his feet spread in a defensive stance.
“No,” Jet said. “Her stone name belongs to me. You are not to use it.”
Tarrick touched the split in his forehead, the constant amused expression he wore around Fate-Pebble gone. “Alright, gargoyle. I won’t use the name.”
Jet backed away with a nod. Looking around, he couldn’t find Fate-Pebble and panic filled him. She whimpered from the far back corner of the room, obscured by the bed. Before Jet could go to her, a strong hand grabbed his arm.
“She’s young without a sire nearby. Do you even realize the power that rolls off you?” Tarrick asked, brushing past Jet. He crouched down and placed his hand on Fate-Pebble’s cheek. “You’re all right, Oracle. There’s n
o danger here.”
She leaned into the incubus’ touch, her eyes half-closed. “Never felt him get so angry before.”
Regret washed over Jet. Rage-Boulder made him angry sometimes. Angry enough that Jet had to take breaks from him, but he’d always watched himself around Fate-Pebble.
“Better?” Tarrick asked.
She nodded and stood with his help. “You know you can only manipulate my emotions because I let you.”
“I know.”
“My father says he hates it when you do this to him, but I think he’s lying. I feel amazing. Am I floating?” She held her hands out in front of her.
“I am sorry, Fate-Pebble,” Jet said.
She looked up at him. “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry.”
Jet looked down at himself. Maybe he should go back to dog form…but they’d made all this effort to get into this itchy cloth, it’d be such a waste to undo that.
Tarrick placed a hand on the back of her neck. “I’ll watch for it a little closer. His aura shouldn’t hit you so hard next time.”
“Okay.” She grabbed Jet’s hand and squeezed. “Alright. Let’s go.”
Tarrick produced a handkerchief from somewhere and cleaned the blood off his face, his wound already healing.
“Where are the Wardens?” Fate-Pebble asked.
“Dismissed for the night.”
“I bet Silva is pissed about that.”
“She is.”
As the three of them made their way down a level and to the garage, Tarrick fell beside Jet. “Does Asper have a stone name for me?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
Jet stopped, Tarrick along with him. “Hard-Amethyst.”
“I like that. And Matthew, are you his familiar also? I know you’re Samantha’s…”
“He’s my stone as well, but requires less care.”
“Less care? Matthew?” He laughed, and the two of them continued after Fate-Pebble, who led the way past bowing hunters and incubi warriors. “What do you call him?”
“Rage-Boulder.”
“Fitting.”
“Yes.”
They entered the large garage, a modern add-on to the fortress. The inside was filled with cars. Mostly SUVs meant for hunters.
Tarrick pulled out his phone.
“What are you doing?” Fate-Pebble asked.
“Calling a driver.”
“Why?” She punched in a code to an electronic wall lock and pulled out a set of keys. Tossing them at Tarrick, she said, “Here.”
Tarrick snatched them from the air and looked at them for a moment before resuming his call.
“Oh. My. Goddess,” Fate-Pebble practically yelled her amusement. “You can’t drive, can you?”
CHAPTER FIVE
Jet watched Tarrick grip the keys in his hand a little harder.
The Warlord doubled down on his usual iron-clad composure, becoming unreadable. “I’ve never needed to learn.”
Fate-Pebble laughed so hard that she grabbed Jet’s arm to steady herself. “Cars have been around for over a century—”
“Longer.”
“—and you’ve never learned to drive?”
“I have wings. I fly.”
“Not around humans.”
Tarrick looked at the nearby car. “These machines weren’t always so dependable. I prefer horses.”
Jet didn’t. They smelled bad and spooked easily around gargoyles.
“Are you serious right now? You’ve led armies for centuries and a car scares you?”
“If you saw the automobile crash statistics you’d—"
“Goddess, wait until I tell my dad that you can’t drive.”
“You’ll do no such thing,” Tarrick growled, but Fate-Pebble kept right on cackling.
“He’s going to laugh for days.”
“Oracle…” he warned.
“There’s literally nothing you can say that’ll stop me. But don’t worry, I’m pretty sure once he’s done laughing he’ll want to teach you.”
“You realize that I’m running a war on multiple fronts. We’re outnumbered, our resources are low, and so long as Matthew is predisposed the odds aren’t only against us, they’re impossible. I don’t have time to learn.”
“And yet, I’d bet money that you’re already planning to set aside time to save face.”
Tarrick pressed his lips together.
“You are!” She laughed again. It made Jet happy to see her laugh so much. “Nah. Don’t. You’ll have more fun if you let my father teach you.”
“Matthew is not teaching me to drive.”
“If you say so.”
Tarrick pressed a few buttons on his phone. “It’s not as if you know how to drive either.”
“Yeah but I have the excuse of oh joy, a surprise vision! making it kinda hard to focus on the road. Besides, I’ve ridden on a dragon and you haven’t. So. There.”
“I suppose you do have that on me. Do you happen to know where any of the dragons disappeared to? One moment”—Tarrick spoke into his phone—“send a driver to garage three.”
“No,” Fate-Pebble said when he hung up. “Not right now anyways.”
A thin hunter teleported in. He wore the same attire as most hunters—leather uniform, lots of weapons. No anti-gargoyle weapon though. Good.
“Sir,” he said with a salute.
Tarrick looked at the keys then handed them over. “The oracle has chosen this SUV for us. Expect a long night.”
“Yes, sir.” The hunter opened the back door for them.
The inside looked custom, with two rows of two individual seats—at least Jet guessed it was custom. He only ever got in a car when Rage-Boulder made him. Although, he had to admit, he loved it when the windows were rolled down and he could stick his head out.
Tarrick and Fate-Pebble sat in the far back two seats while Jet sat in the middle row.
Tarrick pressed a button for him on the side and the seat swiveled around.
“You did not ask if I could drive,” Jet said.
“Can you?” Fate-Pebble asked.
“No.”
She rolled her eyes. Jet’s lips curled in amusement. It felt strange on his face. His whole body felt strange actually, and he hoped he wouldn’t have to stay in this form much longer.
“Where to, sir?” the hunter asked.
Tarrick looked to Fate-Pebble. “Um. Start driving and I’ll tell you where to go.”
After shooting a questioning glance via the rearview mirror to get Tarrick’s approval, the hunter started up the vehicle. Jet watched out the window while they drove through the snowy grounds.
The road carved through a mountainous forest.
“You’re fascinated by him, aren’t you?” Fate-Pebble asked.
Jet turned from the window to see both of them watching him.
“He’s said more in the past few hours than Asper has said to me in centuries. I wonder if I could get her to shift…”
“Doubt it. He only shifted because I asked and he likes me more than Asper likes you, even if she’s your familiar.”
“Stone,” Jet said. “You are our stones. We are not your anything.”
“Right,” Fate-Pebble said. “Stones.”
“You never answered my question,” Tarrick said.
Jet lifted an eyebrow…or tried to but he must have done it wrong because Fate-Pebble began to giggle.
“Was it me you don’t want to sleep with or do you not like sex in general? No one has ever seen a gargoyle have sex.”
“Is that what incubi talk about at parties?” Fate-Pebble asked.
“We talk about many things. Given what we feed on, sex is a popular topic of conversation, yes.”
“Oh, oh, oh!” Fate-Pebble reached out her hand towards the driver then pointed off the road to a snowbank. “Here! You gotta turn here.”
“Um,” the driver shot another glance to Tarrick.
“Pull over.”
Fate-Pe
bble undid her seatbelt.
“Krampus is on my property?” Tarrick asked.
“No, silly. But the White Witch is.”
“Oh yes. The White Witch. Will we be going through a wardrobe to find her?”
Jet couldn’t sense any witches nearby, but magic always messed with gargoyles. He kept his senses alert.
“Oracle,”—before she could leave the car, Tarrick grabbed her arm—“I have hunter patrols all around this area. Thorne himself set up the protective wards. If there were a witch here, I’d know about it.”
Fate-Pebble smiled at him. “Get your gloves, Warlord. It’s cold out.”
She exited, Jet following after her.
Tarrick emerged from the car, putting leather gloves on. Neither Fate-Pebble nor Jet would be affected by the cold, one being a dead creature and the other a living rock.
Still, Jet wasn’t too happy about trudging through the foot-deep snow in leather shoes and slacks. The cloth collected all the wet and it stuck to him.
The hunter cracked open a flare, the red light throwing ominous shadows against the ground. Tarrick kept close behind them.
“I wish you had informed me we’d be walking through snow,” he said.
“I told you to change out of your suit. Don’t blame me because you didn’t listen to the oracle.” She waved her hand as if to dismiss him, and led them to the edge of a sheer drop.
Snow-covered, jagged rocks lined the cliff’s edge, which turned into a deep darkness. Strange. Jet’s vision should have allowed him to see the bottom.
Fate-Pebble grabbed his hand and yanked. “Off we go.”
She jumped in.
Tarrick scrambled after them. “No. Wait—”
Jet dropped maybe a foot before hitting dirt. They had passed through a magic barrier used to hide this place. Behind them, the Warlord came crashing in. He stumbled and slid in the dirt. His black and purple horns and wings were out. His heavy coat had an opening for the wings, but clearly his suit did not; ripped pieces of it stuck out.
He stood, dusting himself off, glaring at Fate-Pebble. Then his eyes widened as he looked behind her.
The magic-hidden clearing they had entered was lit, but the soft white light didn’t seem to have any source. They were on a cleared path, and, although warmer in here, snow still covered the ground.