by Ao Jyumonji
“What about me are you calling fat, Tiny?! I keep my body fat percentage in the single digits, so don’t underestimate my body, you tiny little shit!”
“How the hell are you keeping your body fat percentage down?! Don’t act like you’re hot stuff just because you dye your hair red, you big loaf!”
“The word you’re looking for is ‘oaf,’ you ignoramus!”
“Don’t try to pick grits with the way I speak, you red-haired ass! You wanna get burned?!”
“What the hell is picking grits?! And if you think you can burn me, then burn me, you ape!”
“Who’re you calling an ape, you ape?!”
“Nobody who’s called me an ape is still alive now! Not that anyone ever has, though, okay?!”
“I’ll call you it as many times as I want! You ape, ape, ape, ape, ape, aaaape, ape!”
“Why, you...!”
Red Hair’s fists roared through the air. Max... didn’t dodge. That was probably intentional. Without avoiding the blow, he lowered his waist and took the hit with his left cheek.
Max shook for a moment, but he held through it. “Your wimpy punches don’t hurt or even itch!”
“Oh, yeah?!” Red Hair battered Max’s knees with a low kick this time. “Then how’s this?!”
“Ugwahhhh!”
What a kick. It was bold and powerful, yet sharp. It looked almost like both of Max’s legs were broken. Yet still, Max was standing. With a smile, too.
“Gyahyahyahya! That won’t work on me!”
“You’re putting on a strong front!” Red Hair punched Max in the face once, then again, and again harder. “It’s your one strong point, you little ape! Take this!”
“It doesn’t! Hurt! Dammit! Not! At all! Gwahrah!”
“Kuh?!” Red Hair pulled back the boulder-like fists he was pummeling Max with.
His head. He’d punched Max in the head. No, had Max let him punch his head? The skull could be pretty hard. If it hit at the right angle, it could even deflect a steel sword. Still, Max was covered in blood at this point.
Doesn’t that hurt? Has he completely lost it? That was all that Haruhiro could think.
Max immediately grappled Red Hair. Grabbed him by the lower extremities. He immediately pushed him down. He mounted him, raining punches down on Red Hair from above.
“Oorah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah!”
Red Hair was defending his face with both arms—or so it looked, but Max’s violent rush of attacks was incredible.
There’s no way he can fight back like that... The moment Haruhiro thought that, Red Hair thrust his right fist up from below.
If it had struck his chin, Max would surely have gone down. It would, without a doubt, have knocked him unconscious.
But Max twisted aside, dodging it by a hair’s breadth—and that wasn’t all. Without missing a beat, he seized Red Hair’s arm. He contorted himself around, going to put the joint in a lock.
However, Red Hair reacted quickly, too. He stood up, pulling Max up with him, who was clinging to his arm.
“Uwahahahaha!” Red Hair immediately swung his arm down, trying to slam Max into the ground.
Haruhiro imagined a scene of him being splattered, but that didn’t happen. Before he could be crushed, Max let go of Red Hair’s right arm. With a flexibility and nimbleness that made him look like an invertebrate, he spun around once and got back up.
“That’s not gonna work on me, Ducky! It’s the second time, after all!”
“I figured it wouldn’t! I still can’t forget how it felt smashing you up that time! I want another taste of it!”
“Well, isn’t that a coincidence? I dream of that time I beat the shit out of you sometimes, too!”
“Uwahahaha!”
Red Hair suddenly came out of his fighting stance and offered Max his right hand. Max grinned and slapped Red Hair’s right hand with his own.
The men around them all erupted into applause.
“Max! Maaaax!”
“Ducky’s the best!”
“Max is strong!”
“You moron, Ducky’s clearly stronger, you know?!”
“If they went at it for real, Ducky’s the one who’d die!”
“Shut up, you anus!”
“Now you said it, you stupid berserker!”
Some of the men were insulting each other, but they didn’t seem like they were ready to kill each other. It would have been a bit much to say they were getting along great, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves.
“‘Anus’?” Yume tilted her head to the side.
“It’s just an insult, probably,” Haruhiro said, trying to keep as calm as possible. “Anyway, you shouldn’t say that word.”
“Anuuuus?” Yume looked at him, mystified. “Why?”
“No, it’s fine, I guess,” Haruhiro muttered. “Not really, though...”
“Now listen, Yume,” Ranta said with a sigh, putting his hand on Yume’s shoulder. “Let me tell you about the anus. It’s, well, hard to explain in words, so I’ll point out where it is. You know how you’ve got an ass, right? Well, inside your ass is—”
“...Filthy,” Shihoru muttered to herself.
“Clever!” Kikkawa pointed to Shihoru.
Shihoru shrunk into herself. “I... I wasn’t trying to make a joke.”
“‘One-on-One’ Max and ‘Red Devil’ Ducky, huh.” Tada pushed up his glasses with his left index finger. “Yeah, they’re no match for me.”
“Those two are always going at it.” Tokimune looked at the two of them like a proud father might. “I guess it’s like they say—the more you fight, the better you get along.”
“I can’t understand that...” Merry shook her head.
“They were drawing blood...” Kuzaku seemed a bit weirded out, too.
“Heh...” Inui said.
I wish Inui would stay quiet, thought Haruhiro.
“To think they would begin that ritual without me....” Inui continued.
Because nothing he says makes a lick of sense.
“Oh, stupid fuckers! There other things to do first, yeah?!” Anna-san jumped up with her cheeks puffed up. “Other things? Why, shit? What was it? What?”
Honestly, what was it they ought to be doing first, huh? Haruhiro closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Perhaps he had always been the patient type. Either way, he felt like he had built up an impressive level of tolerance.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Shinohara approaching with a group of men and women in white capes. When compared to Max of Iron Knuckle and Ducky of the Berserkers, people it didn’t seem like he would ever understand, Shinohara seemed like a savior. He even had a halo of light around him. Was that an illusion?
Well, of course it was an illusion. There was no way he’d have an actual halo of light around him.
“Urkh...” Mimorin grimaced a little and narrowed her eyes.
Was he too brilliant for her? No way... could Mimorin see that halo of light, too?
Haruhiro blinked to confirm it for himself. No, not even Shinohara, great as he was, gave off a halo of light. That was obvious.
“Hey, Haruhiro, Tokimune,” Shinohara greeted them. “It looks like we’ve gotten into a bad situation, huh.”
“Hello,” Haruhiro nodded, looking at Shinohara with upturned eyes, “A bad situation? What do you mean by—”
“Allow myself, Kimura of Orion, to explain,” the bespectacled man with the crew cut butted in.
This guy again.
“We noticed that the giant god had stopped moving roughly two hours ago. Our pit trap was already complete, so we decided to pinpoint the giant god’s current location. Not exactly a difficult task. If you approach the giant god, its location becomes readily apparent. And so, we saw it. The giant god towering over the initial hill. Oh, how awful! For that is our only way home! Now, while we may not be completely unable to return, to do so would be incredibly difficult!”
Wh-What did you say? Haruhiro almost said in a completely mono
tone voice, but he stopped himself. He wasn’t that surprised.
He was depressed that his worst prediction, the one he hadn’t wanted to think about, had come true. But that was all. That was all it was.
From the looks of Shihoru, Merry, and Kuzaku, this had killed any enthusiasm they had.
Yume seemed to be deep in thought. It looked like she’d come to a conclusion. “...Ah! If we can’t go back, does that mean we’ve got no way of goin’ home?!”
“He already said that! Are you a moron?!” Ranta shouted at her.
“Yume’s no moron,” she defended. “People who call people morons, they’re the real morons, y’know.”
“Well, following your logic, are the people who call people geniuses the real geniuses, too?!” Ranta hollered.
“Hmm. Probably, don’tcha think?”
“You genius! You genius! Yume, you’re a real beautiful genius!”
“Oh? Really? Ranta, so that’s how you’ve been feelin’ about Yume,” she beamed. “It’s kinda embarrassin’.”
“Y-You dummy! That’s not what I meant! It’s not like that, okay?!”
“Your face is all red...” Shihoru gave Ranta the side-eye, shivering with disgust. “So gross...”
“Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Whose face is all red, damn it?! And what do you mean, gross?!”
“Hmm.” Kimura neatly adjusted the position of his glasses, looking back and forth from Ranta to Yume. “I apologize if this is a delicate question, but are you two in a deeply romantic relationship? In short, are you boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“Wh-Whaa?!” Ranta flipped out so bad he did a little dance. “Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What are you saying, you idiot?! D-D-D-D-Don’t make me laugh!”
“Nuh uh.” Yume swiftly denied it. “You’re wrong.”
“Y-Y-Y-Y-Yeah! Y-Y-Y-Y-You’re wrong! D-D-D-D-Don’t misunderstand! I’d never settle for her! I mean, look at her tiny tits!”
“Don’t call them tiny!”
“What’s wrong with tiny tits?!” Kimura was suddenly very angry. “Flat is sublime! Mankind has yet to invent anything that can transcend the flat chest! By no means!”
“Kimura, calm down.” Shinohara looked somewhat troubled as he patted Kimura on the shoulder.
“Oh, pardon me.” Kimura laughed. “I lost my composure there. However, allow me to clear up any misunderstandings. While it is my personal philosophy that flat chests are the pinnacle of all things, I do understand that they are not the only things of value. Naturally, I can get off to huge breasts, too! In fact, I am flexible enough to adapt to any bust size!”
“You’re passionate!” Kikkawa pumped his arm. “You’ve got passion, Kimuracchi! I get it, I so get it! I’m the same way, man! I’m good with any size, yeah!”
“Yeah!”
Kimura and Kikkawa exchanged a firm handshake. It seemed that a passionate friendship had formed between them.
Even Orion had weirdos like this, huh. Somehow, that was a deeply moving discovery.
“Um, yeah...” Anna-san shrugged her shoulders and look at them with disappointment. “Every time you open your mouth, you say boobies, boobies, boobies! That? That called sexual harassment, yeah! What if Anna-san and other ladies start talking about dick size in front of you? Think how that would send you to heaven, you tiny-dick losers!”
Merry furrowed her brow. “Hayashi? What’s wrong?”
Looking over, Merry’s former comrade Hayashi was crouched over. “...No. It’s nothing. Nothing’s wrong. Really, nothing...”
“Oh, my God!” Anna-san covered her mouth. “Are you real tiny dick? Nothing to worry about, yeah? Theories say even if it small, it still function no problem...”
“Theories say,” Mimorin said with no expression.
Why was she repeating it?
Hayashi was on the verge of tears at this point. The poor guy. But it would have been awkward to go comfort him. It wasn’t as if Haruhiro was so small he needed to be pitied. He couldn’t offer support, or really say much of anything in this situation. Maybe none of the guys could, and they just had to keep quiet?
“Hmph...” Tada licked his lips. “Basically, we’re gonna have to fight. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
That was Tada-san for you. No social graces whatsoever. For Tada, it didn’t matter to him, and he probably just didn’t care. That was why he ignored it. It was a very Tada way of doing things. In this case, Haruhiro was grateful for it.
No? Am I grateful? Huh? “We have to fight”? Hold on.
“What do you mean—” Haruhiro forgot what he was about to ask. More precisely, the fact that he was even trying to say something at all slipped right out of his mind. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong.
Something echoed past.
A sound? No, it was more a vibration than a sound. Though, if I recall, sound is a vibration, so I guess it was the same as a sound. What kind of sound? Haruhiro wasn’t sure, but it was loud. His whole body shook as if it had become one large eardrum. His very being was shaken by the sound.
With no time for surprise, he was at the sound’s mercy. This was a first-time experience for him. Where was the sound coming from? Where did it come from, and how far did it go? He wasn’t sure how vast the Dusk Realm was, but it couldn’t be that small. Had it reached the very ends of it?
Haruhiro saw the sound. It shook the world and distorted it. The distortions were visible to the eye.
Haruhiro clutched his chest. His heart was racing like crazy. The sound passed in a few moments, at most. However, his heart was still shaking. It was different from his pulse. Was it numb? It felt something like that.
He looked around. No one was totally fine. Everyone had been hit by that sound just now. Shihoru was sitting on the ground, clutching her head.
“Are you okay?” Merry held Shihoru as she helped her to her feet.
Shihoru nodded, but it seemed she couldn’t get any words out. There were tears in her eyes.
“What... do you think... that was, just now?” Haruhiro tried asking Shinohara, but then he thought Shinohara would be just as much of a loss for an answer as he was.
As he expected, Shinohara shook his head. He had a sharper look in his eyes than usual. “Dunno... but I doubt it’s a good sign.”
“You think?” Tokimune let out a deep breath, then flashed his white teeth. “I couldn’t be more excited, though.”
Ah... This isn’t gonna end well, Haruhiro thought. I can say from experience, nothing good ever happens when Tokimune says that. This is the worst. I don’t like this anymore. How did things end up like this? Whose fault is it? What the hell? Stop, please. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
Haruhiro unleashed every complaint he could think of inside his head, and then bottled them all up.
I want to run away. I can’t, though.
I’m ready for this—but that’s something I can’t say. It’s not possible. But I have to brace myself. No matter what happens, all I can do is cope with it. No matter what happens?
Just what’s going to happen here?
I don’t know.
As if I possibly could.
Iron Knuckle and the Berserkers had each gathered into their respective groups to talk about it. Orion was doing the same. Those who weren’t in a clan, or had come to the Dusk Realm as an individual party, not as part of their clan, were grouping together, too, out of uncertainty. Somehow, though Haruhiro’s party and the Tokkis hadn’t really decided to do this, the flow of things led them to join Orion’s group.
They discussed a great number of things.
Where’s Soma’s party? Where are Akira-san and his party? What was that sound just now? What should we do? What can we do for the time being? We should go home. Even if we were to return home, the problem is there’s no easy way to do that. Well, what should we do then? We should get out of her
e. Why would we move away from the settlement? Whatever we do, we need to decide on a general direction to take. It’s better if we don’t split up. Best if we stick together. No, maybe it would actually be better to split up and not focus ourselves in one place? If everyone is clustered together, there’s the risk we’ll all be wiped out. Wiped out? What do you mean, wiped out? We don’t know yet, right? It could be that nothing will happen. Where are Soma and his group? We were originally going to gather at the initial hill. Now we can’t; that’s why Orion came to the settlement. It’s probably the same for the others. So, where are Soma and his group? Akira-san and his group? What do we do? What should we do? What’s the right course of action?
It more or less just went in circles. They couldn’t find any answers. Iron Knuckle and the Berserkers weren’t moving, either.
Eventually, Shinohara and Kimura got into a discussion. It looked like the two of them would decide what to do for Orion.
There were volunteer soldiers scattered around, arguing over this or that. It was noisy. Not just that—there was a restlessness in the air.
Haruhiro had to say something. Had to talk to his comrades. Because Haruhiro was the leader. He had to decide. That was how he felt, but he couldn’t think straight. Nothing came to mind.
This was no good. He couldn’t let things stay this way. Honestly, that was the only thing Haruhiro knew. He didn’t want to look his comrades in the eye, so he hung his head.
No good. This is no good. It’s seriously no good. He felt ill. I can’t breathe properly. It hurts. Hadn’t I braced myself for the worst? How pathetic. Yeah, that’s right. I’m a pathetic person. I know. I can’t be decisive even if I want to. I mean, that’s not what I am.
“Listen,” Kuzaku said. “Me, I’m going to follow you. No matter what happens, I’m with you, Haruhiro. I thought I should say that, at least.”
“M-Me, too,” Shihoru raised her hand a little. “Haruhiro-kun, you’ve saved me so many times. I wanted to say that...”
“It’s gotta be Haru-kun, y’know,” Yume said with a giggle.
“I’m sure,” Merry smiled. “If you hadn’t been there, Haru, something terrible would have happened. I mean that in so many ways. I’m here now thanks to you.”