by M. D. Melai
“Did you just reference The Godfather?” Benito asked with a smile.
“Sorry, but that’s the only reference I have,” I said, sounding as stern as I could. He needed to know that I was completely serious.
“Don’t be sorry.” He smiled, and I wondered what was so humorous. “I’m proud you even know that.”
“Focus, Benito,” I said, bringing the attention back to the important issue at hand.
His face turned serious before he spoke again. “Do we do horrible things? Yes. Do people get hurt or killed? You know that answer first hand—you’ve seen it. But we don’t set out each day looking to take someone’s life. Our family and the men that work for us do not handle business that way.” Benito’s eyes darkened before he continued.
“I’m not saying Heinrich should be able to walk free, because he shouldn’t. He should have to pay for everything he has ever done to this family! But we’re going to take care of him the right way, unless he doesn’t give us any other option. We will protect you and this family by any means necessary.”
“He said he’s coming for me, and he will remove anyone that gets in his way.”
“I know,” Benito said, taking my hand in his. “We’re not going to let anyone hurt you or this family. We have lost enough, and we won’t lose anyone else. Period.”
“Then why aren’t you doing anything?”
“We’re doing something, I promise. Just because you can’t see exactly what’s going on behind the scenes doesn’t mean there isn’t an entire crew working on the situation.”
He had a point.
“Well, if you don’t kill people, then what do you actually do?”
Benito laughed. “Don’t sound so disappointed that we aren’t mass murderers. Give us some credit.”
“The only reference I have to mafia life is books, movies, and television, and apparently none of it seems to be an accurate view of our world.” I was back to being snarky.
“Those are terrible references,” Benito said smiling. “At least for our family. I’m going to start at the very beginning.”
Benito went on to explain that when our ancestors left Palermo and came here to America, they decided on a different order in handling things. I told Benito that when I was in Italy, I had researched our family and knew the cause of our family’s departure from Sicily. I told him I knew that there were twin brothers, whose father had passed away, and that one was harsh and cruel and the other wasn’t. The harsher of the brothers took control of the family, and the other one had left for the states to make a new life for him and his family.
Benito continued from there to say that Enrico Dapprima had decided the newly relocated family business would be respected by everyone, and that he had taken several tactics his great grandfather had used to build his empire here in New York. Enrico had perfectly reconstructed the way the Dapprima family handled business. Benito said it wasn’t easy, and that at first he had to do some pretty awful things to establish power, but after he had a good amount of control, he started to transform the family into the vision he had for it.
“Now with that being said, I will say that this family still has to do some pretty unforgiving things sometimes, but for every wrong deed we do, we do a hundred good ones. We own legitimate businesses—the construction company, the nightclubs, the real estate agency, and our restaurants. We make outstanding money from everything we own. We pay our employees way over the amount anywhere else would pay them. The money we earn through our businesses not only pays us and our employees, but the money goes to help people on our territory. We buy apartment buildings, like the ones you have redone, and we remodel them, get them up to code, and make them livable. Then we rent them out to low-income families who need a break and bypass government assistance. It not only helps the tenants but the community as well.”
This was so much to take in, but in a good way so far.
Benito continued. “We are not sharks either. We don’t give out loans, because it usually ends badly for both parties. We want to make sure we get a return on our investment. In our territory, if someone comes to us and asks for a loan to help save their business, then they have two options. They can either sell us their business or they can make us partners. After that, we come in and find out what is and what isn’t working, reconstruct, and then reopen.”
“Are those the businesses that Violet and I have redone?”
“Yes, they are.” Benito smiled at me as I realized what that meant. Not only did my family do good things, but they allowed me to be a part of changing people’s lives, even though I hadn’t known it. It was the most humbling feeling that I had experienced in a long time.
I was speechless as I sat there learning more about my family. “What are the things that are not so great that we do? You said we don’t do loans, so is it gambling, drug trafficking, or guns?”
“How about we just focus on the good things for now and worry about that conversation for a later date?”
“Okay,” I reluctantly agreed. I wanted to know more—everything, but today, I was satisfied with all the information he had given me.
The fire that ignited this morning when I found out I had to meet Benito was slowly burning out. Last night and today was one of those moments that I really needed Violet. If she wasn’t on her honeymoon, then I would have already called her.
“Want to talk about it?” Benito asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“Not really,” I said, clearing my throat and focusing on the napkin still folded neatly on the table. “It was a rough night last night.”
“Could it be because Emilio moved out?”
My eyes snapped up at him. “How did you know?”
“Because he asked me if it was okay to do it.”
“Why did he even have to ask?” I didn’t understand.
“Because he’s a good guy and he wanted to make sure he was doing the right thing.”
“Oh,” I sighed.
“This wasn’t his first time to ask to leave, you know? He has asked four other times, and Pop was the one who kept him there. This time he was adamant on it, so I figure now was as good of a time as any to let him go.”
“What times did he ask before?”
“When you started to date Lucas the first time, when you were on house arrest, the day you came home from Europe with Lucas, and the other one was after one of your fights.”
“He didn’t want to stay with me?” I asked hurt.
“Of course he wanted to stay with you.”
“Okay, I’m not sure I’m understanding this correctly,” I said confused.
“Liliana, I want you to listen to me. Here is some fath… some advice. You need to make a decision on Emilio and Lucas. I don’t doubt that you love them, because I know in your own way you love them each differently. But you’re hurting both of them.”
“Trust me, I know,” I responded.
“Think about this from their point of view. From what I have seen, you don’t separate them. Instead, you look at them as one man and that is where it gets difficult to differentiate whether you were officially dating one or the other. I can tell that you like qualities about both of them and you pick and choose which quality you want. Do you need examples?”
“No,” I sighed back. “I don’t. I guess I just never thought about it that way.” I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. “It’s so hard Benito. I have good moments with each, but then they both have hurt me too.”
“Then maybe you need to stop comparing them to each other and compare them to yourself and what you want out of a man. They both have good and bad qualities, but you need to not compare each of their qualities to each other but to yourself. And don’t dwell on the bad qualities either. We all make mistakes—even you. You don’t have to like everything they’ve done in order to love them, because, if we’re being honest here, you’ve done things that neither one of them are too fond of, but they love you anyways. You should give them the same courtesy.
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“They fight over you, you know?” he continued. “They both think they know what is best for you, but you know what’s funny? If those two hot heads would ever shut the hell up and actually listen to each other, then they would know they both want the same thing for you. They just say it differently. Emilio and Lucas want to protect you, yet set you free at the same time. The only difference is their opinion on how to handle it. That’s their personalities, though.”
“I feel like I just wander back and forth between the two of them. Does that make sense?”
“Not all those who wander are lost, Liliana.”
***
Benito’s statement stuck with me for the rest of the day. I even wrote it down as soon as I walked into the office that morning. I kept hearing it play over and over in my head. Elle could tell I was distracted, so she filtered the phone calls and didn’t disturb me for the rest of the day.
Lorenzo was waiting by my car outside the office when Elle and I locked up for the evening. Elle eyed him before she hugged me, and told me if I need anything to call her. I stood there and watched as she headed to her car, making sure she made it. I knew Elle knew something was going on, but she never pried. It was one of the things I liked about her.
“Dinner?” Lorenzo asked when I approached him.
“Sure,” I said smiling. “I’m driving, though.”
“It’s your car. I’m just along for the ride,” he said with a grin before he opened the door and jumped in.
Dinner was good. Lorenzo and I laughed and had a light conversation. He was always so much fun to be around. We always had a good time, and my relationship with him reminded me a lot of my relationship with Roman.
Roman. How I missed him so.
“Ready to go home, or do you want to do something else?” Lorenzo asked as we left the restaurant and headed towards the car.
“I don’t know. I don’t really want to go back to the house yet.”
Being at the house would be depressing—no one was there, so the longer I stayed away from it, the better. I even thought about getting a hotel in the city until Dante and Violet returned, but I knew it was a waste of money in the end.
“Do you,” he hesitated for a moment before he rushed the rest of the sentence together, “want to go shopping?”
The look on Lorenzo’s face was priceless, and I couldn’t but help laugh hysterically before I responded.
“No, I’m good.” I could barely get the words out between laughing and trying to talk at the same time. “I won’t torture you that way. That’s a punishment only reserved for those who make me mad. Usually Dante or Emilio gets that pleasure.”
Emilio—I had done so well. I hadn’t thought about him since my conversation with Benito this morning. It was true that he hated shopping with me, unlike Lucas. Lucas didn’t look at shopping as a punishment. He enjoyed it—mostly because it was time spent with me.
I couldn’t help but compare them. It was something I had to work on.
“Anything else you can think of?” Lorenzo asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
I thought for a moment about the last two days and what I might want to do, and then it hit me. Benito’s saying came back to me again. It was permanently looping in my head.
“Yes, I do. Let’s go,” I said as I unlocked the car and we climbed in.
“We aren’t going to get our nails done, are we?” Lorenzo asked with a sigh.
“No,” I said as I burst into laughter again. “Although...,” I giggled, turning my hand around in front of my face, “I do need to get them done.”
“Hell no,” he spat out. “I draw the line at that. Shopping, yes. Mani-Pedi’s, no!”
“You just said mani-pedi’s!”
“I have spent too much time around you, my estrogen levels are increasing,” he said as his face lit up and a smile spread across it.
I started the engine before I spoke again.
“Yeah, I think your boobs are getting bigger,” I laughed as I leaned over and squeezed his chest, before turning back forward and speeding off through the city.
***
“Oh, it’s you again,” was the first thing out of the receptionist’s mouth when we entered the tattoo parlor. She had changed her hair from purple to turquoise this time. “What do you want?” she said as her eyes narrowed.
“What’s your problem?” Lorenzo snapped back at her. She just rolled her eyes at him and stared back at me.
“Like I said, what do you want?”
“Is Jasper here?” I asked un-phased by her hostility. He must have heard his name, because his head appeared over the top of his glass cubicle.
“Hey beautiful!” he said as he greeted me. A smile soon spread across his handsome face. “What are you doing here?”
“I was wondering if you had any time to do a small tattoo?”
“For you, anytime. Just give me about thirty. I’m almost done with this one, and then cleanup.”
“Sounds good.”
The wait wasn’t long, and it was mostly due to Lorenzo asking questions of why the receptionist was glaring holes into my body. I ended up showing him my first tattoo on my chest. I had kept it covered up. It was personal to me, and I hadn’t felt like sharing it with others—now three people in my circle knew I had it. Lorenzo thought it was beautiful, and then he showed me a few he had.
Jasper called me back shortly, and before I knew it, he had the outline laid on. Moments later, the ink gun turned on and he started. Lorenzo sat in the small space with me instead of the front.
Jasper and Lorenzo bantered back and forth. I could tell they knew each other, but their conversation was mostly about the football season so far and whose team was going to be better. They kept me entertained to say the least.
About twenty minutes later, the gun shut off.
“Okay, my lady,” Jasper said as he wiped the ink and blood away. “Go take a look.”
I stood up and walked over to the full-length mirror, slightly turned to my left, and lifted my heel to where I stood on the ball of my foot.
Not all those who wander are lost.
It was simple and perfect as it showed across the side of my foot. I loved it. It would be a constant reminder that I was going to be okay, and no matter what, I would never be lost.
“Thank you, Jasper. I love it,” I gasped.
“You’re welcome,” he said, giving me a hug.
I reached for my purse to pull out some cash, and then I started to hand it to him.
“Your money is no good here, you know that. Watching your face light up is payment enough.”
“You know she’s spoiled enough,” Lorenzo stated as he and Jasper shook hands.
“I don’t doubt that with Em… I mean...” Jasper was stumbling over his words, and Lorenzo was looking at him with wide eyes.
“It was good seeing you again,” Jasper finally spit out. “You’re always welcome in this shop anytime, no appointment needed.” He gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek before Lorenzo led me out of the shop.
“What was that about?” I asked as I handed the keys to Lorenzo. “That was umm…weird.”
Lorenzo looked at me funny for a moment, and then I motioned to my foot. My new tattoo was on my right foot, and I didn’t feel like driving home.
“Yeah, Jasper can be weird sometimes. If you get to know him better, then you get used to it.”
“Does Emilio pay for my tattoos?” I blatantly asked.
“What makes you think that?” Lorenzo said, trying to hide his expression.
“Because I’m not stupid, and I know he was about to say Emilio’s name.”
“Maybe that is something you should ask Emilio, if and when you ever talk to him again.”
Chapter 14
I basically spent the next week by myself. It was the only thing that I could do in order to think about everything that Benito and I had talked about. Ever since our conversation, I had the same voice telling me that I needed to decide between
Emilio and Lucas. But saying the words didn’t make it so—it just made it harder.
My habit of comparing them to each other was slowly going away. Every time that I started to, I would stop myself and try my hardest to compare them to what I wanted my future to be. It got easier the more I did it, but what didn’t get easier was the decision. Both of them had qualities that I wanted, and then some that I didn’t. They both had something that the other one didn’t and each of those things was something that I really looked for. But which one could I live without for the rest of my life?
It was safe to say that I needed Violet. Luckily, she and Dante would be back from their honeymoon today. It had been a long two weeks, and I was more than excited to see them.
I had been watching a movie in the living room when Dante and Violet arrived home.
“Honey, I’m home!” Violet called out as soon as she stepped through the door.
“It’s about time!” I said as I got up off the couch and met her halfway. Violet didn’t hesitate as she threw her arms around me and pulled me in close.
“I missed you so much!” she said as she hugged me tighter.
“I missed you too,” I said as Dante walked through the door, carrying the luggage.
“Aww, that’s sweet, you missed me,” he said with a smile.
“Sure I did,” I laughed.
As soon as Dante dropped the luggage, I let go of Violet and hugged him.
“I see where I rank with you,” he laughed as he kissed me on the forehead.
“So… how was the honeymoon?” I asked.
“It was most definitely climactic,” Dante said as he wrapped his arm around Violet’s shoulders and kissed her temple.
“Dante!” Violet yelled as redness started to fill her cheeks.
“That’s so not what I meant! Please spare me those details,” I said repulsed.
“Hey, you asked,” he replied.
“I didn’t mean it that way and you know it,” I retorted.