by Tia Louise
She nodded and followed me back to the bar, took a finishing drink as I paid, and then we left.
Crossing the parking lots back to where I’d left the car, I couldn’t tell which of us was working harder to walk a straight line. I won, but only because I wasn’t balancing on those heels. When we reached my Charger, I leaned heavily against the door.
“I can’t drive like this.” I said through an exhale, scanning the parking lot. We were the only ones out here, and it was dark. I didn’t like it. “Get in.”
She wobbled around the car, and I managed to guide her into the passenger’s side. Then I went around and climbed in, locking the doors. Kenny was busy removing her shoes, and I pressed my head against the headrest.
“It’s okay,” she said, sitting up and putting her hand on my shoulder. “We can just make out til we sober up.”
“Make out?” My brow creased. “What happened to ‘don’t get any ideas’ and you leaving?”
She shook her head and scooted toward me. “This is not about ideas. This is just about sobering up.”
The alcohol, I’m sure, made her logic seem reasonable. That, and her grinding against my dick was still pretty fresh in my inebriated mind. She put her cool hands on my cheeks and then slid them back into my hair. I leaned forward and lightly brushed my lips over hers. They were soft and warm, and a little salty from the margaritas. She smiled and pressed her mouth harder against mine, sneaking her tongue out and touching my lips before she leaned back. Fuck, that felt good.
I caught her face and kissed her for real then, pulling her full bottom lip gently between my teeth as I finished. A little noise escaped her throat, and it was like a match being struck. Our kisses turned fast and desperate, mouths opened, tongues collided. Her slim arms pulled her body against mine, and I lifted her easily into the backseat, not caring if we were still in the parking lot. We were in a dark space in the back, and I wasn’t stopping this.
I bruised her small mouth with kisses as she struggled to move higher on the seat to meet me. I should’ve been gentler, but dammit I couldn’t. The tiny moans coming from her throat told me she didn’t mind my roughness. She was as feverish as I was.
Moving my hands down, I caught the hem of her blouse and shoved everything up—shirt, under-tank, and bra. Her small breasts popped out, and I pulled a tight, pink bud into my mouth, sucking it hard.
“Oh, god,” she moaned, her fingers going into my hair, holding my head against her body. I kissed a line across the center to the other side, finding her other nipple, and sliding my tongue around it. That faint scent of sugar was on her skin, and she even tasted sweet. I moved up to cover her mouth again and noticed she was pulling on the back of my shirt. I took a second to lean back and whip it over my head.
“Jesus,” she hissed, reaching out to run her fingers down my stomach.
“What?” My voice was a hoarse whisper as I took a quick hit off her mouth again.
She turned her face, and I nipped her earlobe. “Your body… Oh, god.”
Her voice went breathless again as my hands worked to slide her tight jeans down her narrow hips. Working my way down to her belly, I kissed her flat, white stomach before reaching the top of her panties.
Any rational thought was gone. I’d been without this too long, and I didn’t care what happened when we finished. Her body was squirming, following my mouth, and I saw a small patch of dampness on the front of her blue thong.
“Fuck me,” I muttered, pulling it aside and sinking my tongue into her bare folds.
“Ohh,” she wailed as my tongue tasted her soft, warm clit. “Oh, god yes.” Her hips were bucking, and my cock was straining against my zipper. She was seriously getting off, and I was ready to plunge inside. Instead, I slid two fingers in, making sure. She was dripping, her inner muscles flexing as my fingers moved in and out of her.
“Oh, Patrick!” She wailed, grinding her hips as her hands went over her head to the car door and then just as fast back to my head. “Oh, god, don’t stop!”
I had no intention of stopping. I kissed and sucked her clit as she moaned and twisted against my mouth. My fingers worked her, in and out a few more times before moving to my jeans, quickly unfastening them and searching for the condom. I couldn’t find it. Fuck.
Her loud moans and quivering thighs told me she was coming. “Inside me, inside me.” She stretched her arms, pulling any part of me she could reach.
“I can’t find the damn condom,” I whispered, kissing her stomach.
“Forget it. I’m on the pill.”
That did it. I rose up and slammed into her. We both groaned loudly. She was hot and wet and so damn tight. My heels were pushing against the door as I pounded harder and faster into her, wrapping my arms around her small body as her inner muscles squeezed me again and again.
“Oh, yes,” she cried, slim arms around my neck. Her tiny breasts bounced against my chest with each push.
It was so good. I covered her mouth, kissing her deeply as I felt my building release. Breaking away, a deep groan rolled from my throat as I hit it hard, my ass tightening as my cock jerked with each thrust, going off inside her. She pulled me tighter and wailed, rocking her pelvis. She was coming again, and I kept pushing. It had been a while since I’d had a good lay, and damn if this didn’t feel like heaven. Her thighs were around my waist, and I didn’t care if we were just supposed to be making out or sobering up or whatever the fuck we were doing. It was worth it.
Her trembling gradually subsided as did my thrusting, and my hands went lightly to her hips, sliding over her ass and up until I was resting on my forearms, my face hovering over hers. I kissed her cheek where that dimple hid, I kissed her chin, then I went back to her lips. Little by little, our breathing slowed. Her eyes blinked open, but she didn’t speak. For a moment, she only studied my face. Then she lifted a finger and traced a light line from my forehead, down my cheek to my mouth.
That’s when I saw the tears.
“Whoa, hey,” I whispered, sitting up and pulling her with me, wrapping my arms around her and holding her against my chest. Her forehead dropped to my shoulder and I felt her jerking with sobs.
My chest tightened. I didn’t know what to do with this. Why was she crying? “Did I hurt you?” I was still whispering. “I’m sorry, it’s been a while. I was too rough—”
“No.” She sniffed, shaking her head. Another jerky breath. “You were great. It was amazing.” Then she broke again with a sob.
I was totally confused. “Then what?”
Her face lifted to mine, and the black eyeliner was running with the tears under her blue eyes. I cupped her cheeks in my hands and pushed the ugly tracks away with my thumbs. How could I make this stop?
She blinked and turned her face from mine. “It’s nothing.”
“Hell it isn’t.” My arms tightened around her, pulling her back. “Tell me.”
“Oh, god, Patrick. You don’t want to know.”
“I do.”
She paused a moment, still not looking at me, as if she were choosing her words. “It was,” she hesitated. “It was the first time… The first time I’ve been with anyone. Since Blake.”
Fuck. Okay, maybe I did want to know why she was crying, but shit. Now I didn’t know what to do. We were quiet a moment, and I held her until her tears subsided. Then I tried a neutral approach.
“It was your first time in almost a year?”
She pulled off my lap and slid to the other side of the car, bending her knees to her chest. I looked to the windows, and the realization of where we were hit me fast.
“Let’s go back to my place. We can’t talk here.”
She shook her head, looking out the glass. “I’d better go home.”
Reaching for my shirt, I slipped it over her head. “You’re spending the night with me.”
“No,” she tried to fight. “It’s too much. I’m leaving next week, and I just… I had too much to drink is all.”
“Fuck that. You’re sleeping
at my place.” I pulled my jeans up. “No strings, fine. But you’re not sleeping alone tonight.”
She crossed her arms over her waist, and I reached for the seatbelt, pulling it across her shoulder and lap, and fastening it before climbing back to the front seat. We didn’t speak the whole drive, but I glanced in the rearview mirror a few times. She continued gazing out the window, and I couldn’t think of anything to say to make her feel better.
Finally, I had us in my parking garage. Helping her out, I gathered her shirt, tank, and bra all wadded into a roll, thanks to the way I’d removed them. She picked up her shoes and purse, still wearing my shirt over her jeans. Without her shoes, she seemed so small. Fragile.
“Come on,” I said quietly, leading her to my door.
Inside, I dropped everything on the couch. I caught her swaying a few times, and took her hand. “Take your jeans off and just sleep in that shirt.”
She nodded and bent down to remove her pants. I left her to go brush my teeth and find a shirt for me to sleep in. Moments later, we were in bed.
The idea of sex or making out was definitely off the table at this point, and all I knew to do was pull her to me. She didn’t fight it, putting her cheek on my chest. I tried to think of something comforting to say, lying in the dark, smoothing her hair off her face, but only one thought was circling in my mind. It was stupid, and I said it anyway, softly, like a mantra. “Bee stings… needles… rope burns…”
“What?” Her voice was quiet, weary.
“When Stuart and I were kids we played this game. If one of us got hurt, we’d try and name things that hurt worse. It’s stupid brother shit.”
Tears were in her cracked whisper. “Nothing hurt like losing Blake.”
My arms tightened around her, and I kissed the top of her head. “I know.” My hand continued moving up and down her back. “Nothing kicks the shit out of you like love.”
After that, I only held her. She didn’t shake or jerk anymore with sobs, but I could tell she was still crying. I didn’t know how much time passed before she stopped. I was struggling with sleep myself when she spoke again.
“This doesn’t change anything.” Her voice sounded like sleep, and my arms were still around her skinny body. I remembered the pizza I was supposed to buy her.
“Right,” I said. “No strings. Just friends.”
Then I thought of my kid sister Amy dealing with all Kenny had faced and being alone in some guy’s bed. I would hope he wouldn’t be a dickhead.
“You’re safe here,” I added. “Just sleep now.”
In less than a minute, we were both out.
* * *
My eyes opened, and I was alone. Sitting up, I whipped the sheets back and grabbed my jeans off the chair before making my way down the hall to the kitchen. Where was she? Had she left?
“Kenny?”
“In the kitchen,” she answered, and I saw her as I rounded the corner. She sat on the counter sipping coffee from a mug, looking even younger with no makeup and wearing my too-big shirt over her jeans. “I’m keeping this, by the way. It smells good—like you.”
I shrugged, going over to lean beside her. “Sure.”
She lowered her leg and hopped down, crossing the space to put her mug in the sink. I only watched her, wondering what to say. I didn’t want to apologize—I wasn’t sorry for what happened between us—but I wanted to know she was okay.
“I called a cab,” she said. “It should be here any minute.”
“Why did you do that? I’ll drive you home.”
“It’s better this way.” She returned to where I stood, pushing me back and leaning against my chest. Damn she was short without her stilts. I put my arms around her.
“You’re good in bed.” She said it like she was reading a weather report.
“So are you.”
“If things were different, we’d definitely start dating now.”
“But I thought—”
“And it would be a huge mistake, because we’d end up being each other’s rebound person, and it would completely screw up this beautiful thing we’ve got here.” She waved a finger back and forth between us.
My eyebrow cocked. “What do we have?”
“You helped me.” A bony hip pushed against mine. Then her voice softened. “Thanks for that.”
The forty-eight hours we’d known each other flew through my mind, from the first shot of those blue eyes to the dimple, the tattoo, last night in the car, her sleeping in my arms. I slid a dark lock off her cheek. “I hope I did.”
“I put my number in your phone,” she continued, stepping out of my arms. “Keep in touch, okay? Just as friends.”
I nodded. “Are you feeling better today?”
“No. But I feel different.”
I was going to say more, but the loud honking of the taxi horn broke up the moment. She reached down and grabbed her blue suede shoes then quickly stepped back to kiss my cheek before turning and dashing to the door. “You’re a great guy, Patrick. Don’t change because some stupid bitch screwed you over.”
A smile crossed my lips. “And it’s okay for you to start living again.”
She nodded and made an air-kiss before heading out. I stood there thinking about what had happened. Dangerously sweet.
Picking up my phone, I scrolled to her number and typed a text. Tell me if you ever need anything.
Her reply flashed back. Stop being so nice. Haven’t you learned?
I breathed a laugh. Bye, Peg.
Bye, Bingley.
Chapter 4 – Safety Off
Bank fraud was the last thing on my mind as I sat at my desk Monday morning. All I could think about was Kenny. Not like I wanted her, although it was nice having her in my bed and definitely nice getting laid. Somehow, despite what happened in the car, my feelings changed through what happened between us to something different and new—to me, at least.
Rubbing my forehead, I realized she’d seen straight through me, and she’d managed to drag the real me out—the guy who could love someone enough to get hurt. Badly. I’d intended to keep that guy good and locked down. Maybe permanently.
She’d said we helped each other, but at the moment I was feeling shaken, off my game. Like I wasn’t as hardened as I’d thought.
For Kenny and me, love had kicked both our asses, and in our own ways we’d shut it out, put up the walls, closed shop. I wasn’t ready to reopen for business, but she’d put a crack in my barrier.
Now she was headed back to everyone who’d told her not to follow her heart in the first place. I wanted to go back with her—not as her boyfriend, more to punch anyone in the face who might try to say I told you so. I wanted to protect her from that. I wanted to protect us both.
It was a strange arrangement to love somebody I didn’t want to screw—who wasn’t my sister. Thankfully, Derek stopped at my door, interrupting all the cognitive dissonance bullshit.
“We hitting the gym this afternoon?” He was slightly less formal today—still in the suit, but no tie.
“Sure.” I blinked back to my computer.
He stayed in my open door a beat longer. “Williams was impressed by your report Friday. If you’re interested, I can give you the Alliance account.”
“Thanks,” I nodded. “I’ll take it.”
“Now I’ve got to straighten out this shit on my desk.” He turned, and I heard him call Nikki in a tone that was sharper than usual. My brow lined. Even though she’d turned me down, Nikki was cool. I didn’t like how he talked to her.
God, I was a gooey mess today. I had to fucking get it together.
She swished past my door, wearing a bright yellow wrap-dress. I shook my head and turned back to my computer. “Whatever,” I said under my breath. Nikki was a big girl as she’d let me know.
Five minutes later, a loud slam had me out of my chair and into the hallway. Derek’s door was the source of the noise, and inside Nikki was yelling. I couldn’t believe my ears. For a few moments, I waited�
�� this wasn’t exactly a domestic disturbance, but I knew from my training about walking in on these kinds of things. His door opened again, and I heard him speak.
“You need to calm down,” he said in the sharp tone I knew from experience would get the exact opposite response. “I was just saying—”
“You were just implying I was incompetent. Again.” I’d never seen Nikki mad, but her eyes were flashing as she spun back to her desk and snatched up her bag. From this angle, I could also see she was hurt. “You can do it yourself,” she said loudly. “I quit.”
My stomach dropped, and Derek and I both sprung forward at that.
“Wait—” I started.
“Stay out if it, Patrick,” she snapped at me. “I’ve been here a lot longer than you, and I’m sick of his shit.”
“Nikki, you’re making a mistake.” Derek used neither the tone nor the words I knew she wanted to hear. She wanted an apology.
“And you need to get laid.” She spun on her heel and pushed through the glass doors. I caught a “Goodbye, Patrick” as the door breezed shut again.
Anger clear on my face, I turned back to my business partner. “The fuck?”
He shook his head and went back into his office. “I’ll handle it,” he said, slamming his dark wooden door.
For a moment, I stood there looking at her empty desk and his closed door. Princeton was supposed to be less drama. Shit.
* * *
Derek stayed in his office with the door closed the rest of the day. I managed to get some work accomplished, but I was still restless by six. Going to the gym seemed like a good idea, although I figured I’d be going alone.
He emerged just as I was picking up my bag. Irritation rose in my chest, but I waited. “You coming?”
The phone rang in his office, and he held up a hand. “Meet you there in five.”
Going back inside, he closed the door again, and I left for Building E ready to find out what happened in his office this morning.
At the gym, I loaded the bar with a more reasonable weight and lay back, lifting it myself and doing eight reps. Derek entered as I finished, and I returned it to the rack, sitting up to look at him.