“It’s beautiful,” I breathed. “Help me put it on?”
“With pleasure. I can’t believe my little girl is getting married today! Possibly. To a guy you barely know? You’re not going to marry him, are you?”
It took me approximately a quarter of a second to decide to spill my guts. I’d been holding in the truth about our wedding so long, afraid she’d be mad or hurt, but baring my soul made me feel a thousand pounds lighter. When I finished my story, she looked more relieved than anything else.
“Thank goodness,” she said.
“You’re not mad?”
“No. I’m proud to have such an intelligent daughter who is good at preparing for the unexpected and the completely ludicrous. I love you. But I want to see Sarah’s video.”
“Sure thing.”
She kissed the air near my cheek, careful not to leave a lipstick print. At that point, it didn’t even matter. We held each other for a long moment and promised to talk later.
“Knock, knock.” Ed stuck his head through the gap in the curtains. He wore a shimmering rainbow-colored tuxedo. It didn’t even faze me at that point. “Rachel said you were ready? I’m here to escort you down to the wedding.”
“I’ll tell them you’re on your way,” Mom said.
“Actually, can you stall about twenty minutes? Ed’s going to help me with something first.”
“No problem, dear.”
The curtains fell shut behind her, leaving me alone with Ed.
“How are you doing?”
“I’ve never looked worse in my entire life,” I said with utter certainty. “The designer must’ve paid them a fortune to put me in this getup.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Ed said.
“I appreciate how you don’t bother to pretend I look good.”
“It’s my sworn duty as your best friend and as a gay man never to tell a woman she looks good when she is dressed like a trussed-up piece of cotton candy. From the neck up, you’re a knockout.”
I groaned. “You, on the other hand, look fabulous. What happened to the black tux?”
“That was boring. This is much more me. I figured you wouldn’t mind.”
“Maybe people will be blinded by the sequins and they won’t be able to see me,” I said with a wry smile. “Have I mentioned how much I hate this dress? I can’t even look at it.”
“Look at the bright side. At least it’s made of actual fabric, not paint! Even though it’s see-through fabric.” He studied me carefully. “Do you want to cover the front with one of my aprons?”
I burst out laughing at the image of Ed’s statue of David apron on top of this hideous dress. The Network would love that. One of the producers would rip it off me before I got halfway down the aisle. “No, thanks. But please tell me you brought the sewing kit.”
He reached into the pocket of his jacket. “I did! And I snuck the real scissors out of the kitchen for you.”
“Awesome.”
Taking the items Ed held out, I got to work. No one would be using the Chapel again until after the ceremony, so I ducked in and started cutting the blue-green satin fabric covering the walls. Ed unzipped the back of my dress while I cut the cloth to fit the front. Then we each took a needle and thread and created a liner for the top of the dress. Less than fifteen minutes later, Ed was zipping me back up.
“Please tell me you can’t see my nipples?”
“I can’t.” Ed planted a kiss on my cheek. “It’s not terribly bridal, but also not pornographic.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“Come on, gorgeous. None of this shit matters. We’ve got a show to film. Then you can go home with your real husband.”
He was right, of course. I held his hands and gazed into his eyes for a long moment. Suddenly, I felt calmer. Things would work out. “Thanks, Ed. You’re an excellent friend. And you do look wonderful.”
“I know.”
“Ready?”
I scooped up my bouquet from a chair where one of the production assistants had left it. Since I’d arrived, I hadn’t thought about flowers once outside the centerpiece-creation challenge, but the Network had finally gotten something right. I carried a gorgeous bouquet of pink roses, with a couple of larger yellow roses for accents. No fish in sight, thankfully. “Ready.”
Once we got outside, Rachel and Joshua walked in first. They looked great together. When his mouth was shut, I completely understood what Rachel had seen in him. But I wasn’t remotely sad at the thought of Rachel dumping him and finding someone better ASAP.
Next, Koji escorted Logan’s sister, a last-minute replacement for Birdie. Although Sarah was pretending not to have arrived in time for the wedding, we still used Ed’s brother as a stand-in to get back up to six attendants. He walked with a girl I’d never seen. She wore what had to be Sarah’s dress, and I wondered if she’d been chosen because they were approximately the same size. The Network certainly didn’t care if I knew or liked any of my attendants or guests. At this point, I was just grateful they didn’t hire random actors to also pretend to be my brother and his girlfriend. Or if they did, I hadn’t met them yet.
I would forever cherish the pictures of this wedding party, with one person I didn’t like at all, Rachel, and four total strangers. Well, okay, maybe I’d take one or two to hang on the walls at Sweet Reality. Surely, our fame-seeking groomsmen would autograph one for me if I asked.
“Who is that?” I whispered to Ed, nodding at the girl ahead of us. He knew everyone and watched even more reality TV than Sarah and I, if that were possible.
“Connor’s best friend,” he whispered back. “They’ve known each other since high school.”
Perfect, just perfect.
When they reached the front, the music changed. Instead of the wedding march, they played a slow, instrumental version of “Happy.” The song took me back to that day in the courthouse with Justin and his family. Turned out, that really was my dream wedding. All I needed was me, the man I loved, and a few people who cared about us.
Everyone stood and turned toward me and Ed. I plastered a smile on my face, took a deep breath, and put one foot in front of the other. Together, we walked down the aisle, flashbulbs snapping in our faces every step of the way.
Logan stood at the front of the aisle, waiting for me in what should’ve been Justin’s tuxedo, his long hair pulled into a ponytail with a pouf in the front. Connor stood next to him, holding a camera. A sea of people filled the seats, most of them strangers. I spotted Tammy Rae from our reality cruise near the end of one row and Madison sitting a few feet away. Most of the other faces I recognized were from television.
We’d reserved the first two rows for personal friends and relatives, half of whom canceled due to the storm. Sitting beside Mom, Brandon waved at me from these seats. I waved back, not caring that I probably wasn’t supposed to. Everyone else was executives, paid actors, former reality stars, assistants, people hoping to profit from the reception, and other Los Angeles types. Not my scene at all. At least I could show my friends I was glad to see them.
Meanwhile, Ed smiled and nodded at half the people we passed. I squeezed his arm. “You know everyone, don’t you?” I whispered.
“I may be a medium-sized fish, but Los Angeles is my dream pond,” he replied. “That guy over there? Huge agent. I can’t wait to meet him after.”
Finally, we reached the end of the aisle. The officiant smiled and nodded at both of us. I forced myself to smile at Logan, though my eyes shot daggers at him.
“You were right,” he said. “Horrible dress. You look beautiful, though.”
As much as I hated to admit it, he did look handsome in his tux. If he hadn’t revealed himself to be pure evil, I’d have told him as much. Still, I smiled for the benefit of the viewers. “Thank you.”
He reached out and wrapped a loose tendril of
my hair around one finger. He lowered his voice and leaned forward. “I love you with long hair. I can’t wait to run my fingers through those long locks, feel them wrapped around me.”
Resisting the urge to jerk backward and slap him, I calmly smoothed the lock of hair back behind one ear. Through gritted teeth, I said, “The hair is fake, you jackass. Just like anything you ever felt between us. You will never touch me or my hair again.”
Anger flashed in Logan’s eyes, but his smile didn’t falter.
The officiant gave us a worried look, but we just smiled at him. I nodded for him to go ahead. “We are gathered here today to bear witness to the most sacred of ceremonies. The joining together of two television personalities, hopefully with an aim toward creating a new, unified show.”
The audience laughed. My stomach lurched, threatening to spill its limited contents all over the horrible dress. That might have been an improvement.
“Before I get started, is there any reason these two should not be joined in matrimony?”
My hand shot into the air. Another laugh, this one more uneasy. I turned and looked around the church. Leanna’s face was unreadable at this distance. Janine’s shoulders shook, and I couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying.
The officiant chuckled. “Nice try. Shall we continue?”
“Oh, I don’t think so.”
Something clanged from the direction of the house. Murmurs rustled through the crowd. Someone shouted my name. Logan and I turned as one.
At the end of the aisle, several chairs lay flat on the ground, knocked aside in the commotion. Justin was running up the aisle toward me.
Our eyes met, and even at this distance, I saw his Adam’s apple bob up and down. My heart soared. Even though I’d been expecting this moment, the thrill of watching my husband race to save me from a forced marriage to another man felt ten times better than imagined.
Logan stepped into the aisle, toward the back of the church. “What are you doing here, Justin? You’re too late. Jen’s going to marry me.”
A murmur went through the crowd.
“Sorry to interrupt…well, actually, no I’m not,” Justin said. “This show is called Jen & Justin’s Big Day, not Jen & Logan’s Big Day. That’s my bride you’re blocking.”
I stepped around Logan, beaming up at Justin. “Hi. I’m so glad you could make it.”
“Me, too. I drove twenty-seven hundred miles so I wouldn’t miss this moment.”
The crowd awwed at his revelation.
For their benefit, I said, “You drove all the way from Miami to Los Angeles in three days?”
“In about forty hours. To marry you, I’d drive anywhere.”
“Uh, guys?” Logan said behind him. “I hate to break up this touching moment, but Jen and I are kind of in the middle of something. We’ve got a marriage license and everything.”
“Sorry, Logan,” I said, barely concealing my glee. “I was never going to marry you.”
“No. Jen, I can’t let you do this. Don’t marry him. I’m in love with you. I talked the Network into picking me when Justin got delayed. I did everything I could to make you love me.”
Beside me, Justin made a noise that probably sounded like anger. I recognized it as the snort he used to cover up his laughter. Darn it, now I owed him ten bucks.
“Logan, stop,” I said. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. I know you don’t care about me. I saw you with Janine in the maze. The two of you were plotting against me.”
If I’d thought he would appear embarrassed that I caught him having sex, or ashamed, or whatever, I’d have been wrong. He didn’t even blink. Instead, he took a step toward me, eyes still locked on mine. “Don’t do this. Don’t change the conversation. Don’t pretend you don’t have feelings for me. I felt it when we kissed.”
Chapter 23
Confessions from the Chapel, Saturday afternoon:
Jen: I never expected Logan to kiss me. Everything happened so fast after we fell into the pool. But it didn’t mean anything. I told him at the time we could only be friends. I don’t have any feelings for Logan, and he doesn’t have feelings for me, either. It was a mistake. I’m in love with Justin. I don’t ever want to kiss anyone else, ever again. Most certainly not Logan, after everything that’s happened. We’re not friends. We’re here to do a show. He played his part, we’re done.
Logan: Jen told you we’re not friends? That hurts.
Justin: I drove for three days straight to make it here for my wedding, and I’m not about to let this guy ruin it. There’s nothing going on between Jen and Logan, I promise. I have one hundred percent faith in her.
J-dawg: Bro, Jen is freaky, am I right? I was so sure this wedding would be a snoozer, but it’s totally epic.
Everyone gasped, except me. Of course he brought up the kiss. Part of me was surprised he hadn’t done it earlier, but what better time to drop that bomb than in the middle of a wedding ceremony that may or may not have involved me, Logan, and/or Justin?
“She kissed another bro right before your wedding? Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn!” Joshua said behind me.
I resisted the urge to turn and kick him.
They stared at each other. Justin’s jaw clenched. Logan’s hands balled into fists.
“Shut up, J-dawg,” Justin said, his eyes never wavering from Logan. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“And you do? W-T-F, bro? I’m the one who’s been here all week.”
Finally, I found my voice. “Logan, stop. This is ridiculous.” Then I turned to the audience and raised my voice. “Yes, I kissed Logan, but it wasn’t real. It was all staged by the Network. Last night, one of the production assistants came to me and told me she’d quit because the producers played tapes containing subliminal messages that would endear Logan to me.”
The crowd gasped. At the back of the room, Leanna’s face grew red. She moved toward the end of the aisle, holding my gaze. But then she stopped and gestured as if to say, “Go on.”
Of course. This was prime drama, and that’s what the Network liked. I searched for Janine to see what she thought of this turn of events, but couldn’t find her in the sea of faces.
I turned to Justin, who’d been watching this entire exchange silently.
“You kissed him?” Of course, he already knew the whole story, but the viewers didn’t know that.
“We were in the pool,” I said. “He was drowning, and I pulled him out. I had to give him mouth-to-mouth.”
“She didn’t have to give me tongue-to-tongue,” Logan said.
“Shut up, Logan,” I said. “Justin, it wasn’t like that at all. I can explain.”
“You know what, Jen? There’s no need.” Turning to the audience, Justin said, “I already know everything. I know the Network paid Logan to flirt with Jen. I know he wore pheromones as cologne. I know the Network played subliminal messages to increase her attraction to him. I know he pretended to drown and he slipped her the tongue when she gave him mouth-to-mouth.”
I stepped up beside him, slipping my hand into his. Connor stepped close with the camera, while I addressed the viewers directly. “What the Network doesn’t know is that Justin and I aren’t getting married today. We never were.”
The audience gasped as one.
Behind me, the officiant cleared his throat. “I hate to interrupt, but should I go? Is anyone getting married?”
“Yes, someone is,” Justin said.
“Someone absolutely is,” I said. Turning back to Ed, I kissed his cheek. He pulled me into a tight embrace.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked.
“I’ve never been more sure about anything.”
Pulling away, I moved to the left, taking my place in the matron of honor’s spot. Across the aisle, Justin moved into Connor’s spot and took his camera. Logan backed to
ward the side aisle, realization slowly dawning.
Ed and Connor now stood together, in front of everyone, grinning and holding hands. A wave of whispers flew through the crowd. Someone started to clap, and others quickly followed suit. Brandon stood, then Mom. Next thing I knew, the entire audience gave the grooms a standing ovation.
Janine was still nowhere in sight. Leanna moved from the end of the aisle to stand beside the archway Justin and I would exit through when the ceremony ended. She must be furious. It was too late to do anything, though. I’d promised her a reality star wedding, which I’d delivered. I’d also given her a gay, interracial wedding on a major network, which made her the first reality television producer in history to air such a show.
The ratings would be off the charts, and I wouldn’t have to compromise who I was. Or commit a felony. No breach of contract penalty. And Justin probably wouldn’t get fired. We hoped. Everything was working out, after all.
The officiant recovered quickly, getting names from each of the grooms and whispering briefly with Ed before projecting his voice over the crowd. “Honored guests, thank you for coming today to witness the union of these two men, Ed and Connor, in marriage. After two years of dating, they are delighted to have all of you come together at the very place where they first met.”
Throughout the crowd, heads nodded here and there. The whispers slowed.
“Love is a glorious thing, isn’t it? It transcends many barriers, including minor issues like being invited to one wedding and finding yourself attending another.” The audience chuckled. “Although I just met Ed and Connor about thirty seconds ago, their love shines out of them, and I couldn’t be happier to share in this day with all of you. Ed, Connor, please face each other.”
The grooms turned, love shining in their eyes. I wiped a tear from my cheek. Behind Connor, Justin grinned at me, his own eyes glistening with happy tears.
The officiant leaned forward, lowering his voice. “Do you have a marriage license?”
“We do,” they said. They’d picked it up at the courthouse on Friday before going to get coffee.
Reality Wedding Page 23