by H. D. Gordon
My brow furrowed. “No, what?”
“That’s not a crazy thing to say at all.”
The laugh bubbled up in my throat and fell out of my mouth before I could stop it, but tears welled in my eyes as I looked at him. “So that’s it, then?” I said. “That’s all you have to say? That it’s okay? You’re not mad?”
Kayden sighed, then placed a soft kiss on my forehead, and the smell of him drowned out completely the smell of the food he had brought me, and now the need in my stomach was something else entirely. I saw the same need reflected in his golden eyes. He kissed my lips, slowly, slower than I could ever remember him doing, as if he were afraid of breaking me, as if it were the last time he’d ever get to. And when he pulled back, I was left breathless with the loss of his touch.
“Oh, Warrior,” he sighed, his slight Scottish accent caressing the word and making more heat spiral in my stomach. “I will not spend my time with you being mad. It would be the most terrible waste I could imagine.”
I gripped his shirt and lay back on the bed, and he settled himself on top of me gently, so gently. The weight of his body pressed all of the worries out of me, calmed the fire that burned in me, and silenced the darkness that always spoke in my head. Kayden pulled my shirt over my head, and I had his off only a second after. When there was nothing between us, nothing at all, I stared into his sunrise eyes and let my fingers explore the hard planes of his body. His calloused fingers ran the length of the silver on my arm, and I knew then that I would not trade these moments with him for anything. Not for anything in the world. Everything that I had been through in the past month and a half had been worth it; every scar, every tear, every loss. For just this moment in time, everything made perfect, wonderful sense.
And when we finally found sleep, wrapped tightly in each other’s arms, the food on the tray long cold and the troubles of the world long forgotten, I knew that whatever happened tomorrow, I was ready for it.
I was ready.
Alexa
“How many do we have?”
Malcolm stared out into the group of Brockens and Wolves that had assembled before us, the people who were willing and capable to fight and stand against the King. “More are still trickling in as we speak,” he said, “but I think it’s safe to say that we number around twenty-five hundred.”
I nodded, looking out over all the faces. It seemed like there were a hell of a lot more people here than that, but still nowhere near enough for me to feel comfortable putting them up against the King’s army. I recognized many of them–people I had simply crossed paths with on this insane journey, and others still that I had grown to care about. I avoided their eyes, looking only at the ones I didn’t know, which was most of them. It made it easier to pretend that these people were just plastic toy shoulders awaiting orders on a paper map. It was a calloused, inhuman way to look at things, but I had to do what I had to do.
I was relieved they all seemed to had either brought weapons with them, or gotten them from someone. Some of them held bows and arrows, and others had axes and swords and huge knives. They were talking amongst themselves, no doubt whispering about the wisdom of the plan they had been made aware of. Most of them looked more than uneasy about passing through the Fae Forest, but a few had looks on their faces that said such a journey was an adventure they never thought they’d get to have.
Indeed they do, Warrior, and for some of them, this will be the last adventure they ever get to have.
“Have I told you lately how very much I enjoy your input?”
Hmm, no, you haven’t. But I always like to hear it. It’s good to know you’re appreciated.
When a hand fell on my shoulder, I jumped a little in surprise, having been snapped out of the conversation in my head. I looked up to see Arrol standing there, and I couldn’t help but notice that he looked a little worse for wear. I stopped myself from giving into the impulse of hugging him, not failing to notice that Kayden, who was standing on my other side, was giving the Fae a look of burning hatred. I wouldn’t have admitted it to anyone, but I was glad to see that Arrol was alright, that he had returned unharmed from the mission I had sent him on.
“Arrol,” I said, careful keep the relief out of my voice for Kayden’s sake. No reason to add insult to injury. “You’re back. What happened? Did your Queen agree to let us pass through her land?”
Arrol ran a hand through his silver hair, smoothing some of it back into place. His lips pulled up a fraction, and I did my best not to shift under the weight of his silver eyes. I could see that he was thinking about the kiss we had shared. Talk about awkward.
“I always hold up my end of a deal, Warrior,” he said. “You and your army have until nightfall to get in and get out. The Queen gave me her word that no one will bother you along the way.”
I nodded slowly. This was it then. There was nothing left to do now but go. “Thank you,” I said.
Arrol’s smile would have broken my heart had I any of it that was left intact. I wondered again what he had had to do to secure this deal for me, or what he would be expected to do in the future. No one had ever told me if I was good at kissing or not, but I sure as hell hoped that the one we shared had been worth it for him. Enough people had been dragged into this fight and hurt for it already.
“I will accompany you through the Forest, but when we get to the edge, where the border lies between it and the Silver City, I will have to leave you,” Arrol said.
I nodded my understanding, secretly glad that there was someone out there who wasn’t willing to walk this death march with me. “Got it,” I said. “When do we leave?”
Arrol gave me a look that I chose not to interpret. “As soon as possible would be best. You don’t want to still be in the Forest come nightfall. I guess we can go as soon as you’ve said your goodbyes.”
I almost said that there was no one for me to say goodbye to, that everyone I cared about was either gone already or coming with me, but as I thought about it I realized that there were some people that I wanted to tell farewell. Really, just two people. Two little girls.
I took Kayden’s hand and told Malcolm to get the people ready to go. He nodded and turned to address them. Kayden and I began heading away from the crowd down the red dirt path that led back to Silvia’s cottage. When I got there, I found more people than I would have wanted waiting for me in the sitting room. Some of them I wished that I could have snuck out without seeing again. Namely, Camillia, Silvia, Sasha and Olivia. But I was glad that Catherine, Soraya and Akira were here. Seeing them was worth having to see the others. I had never had both of the little girls who had stolen a piece of my heart in the same room before, and looking at their little faces, I could almost remember what I was doing all of this for.
Akira came to me first, her long dark hair shielding some of her little face. I picked her up and kissed her on the cheek, and the sad smile she gave me was enough to melt the ice caps. “Will I ever see you again, Alexa?” she asked.
I held her close and rubbed my cheek against her soft hair, reminding myself that I was not going to let myself cry again. But in all the bad questions that I had ever been asked in my life, this was by far the worst. I let out a heavy breath. “I’ll do my best,” I said, giving her the best smile I could manage.
Her tiny hand came up and touched my face, and I could tell that she was trying to take some of the pain from me, trying to lessen the fire inside, the same way that she had the very first time we’d met. I pulled my mental walls up gently, blocking out her Search. I shook my head. “Thank you, Sweetheart, but I can’t let you touch that again,” I said. “Too hot this time. You’d get burned.”
Akira’s little voice cracked when she said, “So you’ll just burn for all of us, then.”
I shrugged, even though it wasn’t a question, struck speechless for the millionth time on this day. I had never heard the truth of my situation summed up so simply and horribly.
From the mouths of babes…
“Don’t worry,” I said, and then set her down on her feet before I could get too wrapped up in my emotions. In the past twelve hours I had come to hate goodbyes almost as much as I hated the King. Almost.
Soraya was next. Kayden had been holding her in his arms, whispering things in her ear that made her giggle, and hiding his reluctance to leave her better than I would have expected, even from him. Somehow, seeing the look in his eyes as he held his niece was worse than anything else at the moment. It made me feel for the first time in my life that I was in serious danger of going straight to hell after I died, and it was pretty amazing, considering all of the things I had done in my life. Kayden was leaving this little girl, the only blood relative he had left alive, for me, knowing good and well that he may never be coming back. If that isn’t hell-worthy, I just don’t know what is.
I picked Soraya up when she came to me, brushing away tears from her little cheeks with my thumbs. I bit my tongue hard enough for blood to fill my mouth to keep my own tears at bay. Such a little person should not know such pain and loss and hurt in their life.
Sound like someone you know, Warrior?
“The things I have faced in my life don’t hold a candle to the things that this little girl has had to face. And if it is the last thing I ever get to do, killing the man who put her through those things…I’m good with that.”
My Monster gave no response to this, and I snapped back to reality to see that Soraya was staring up at me with those golden eyes that were so much like her uncle’s. I bent down and pulled her into my arms, happy that she seemed to be a little heavier than the last time I had held her. It was a wonder what a little food and being able to keep your own blood could do. She already looked and felt like a whole new child, the bruises on the crooks of her arms fading and the hollowness to her cheeks filling.
“Good luck,” Soraya whispered, and I could tell by the tone of her voice that fresh tears were falling down her face.
Okay, Warrior, we need to go now. Shit, if we don’t, I may start crying.
“I wasn’t aware that you were capable of such things.”
I meant it as a figure of speech.
“Yeah, sure.”
I set Soraya down and nodded at her, hoping that it conveyed the same thing I’d said to Akira, that I would do my best. I didn’t trust my voice not to waver right now. I gave all the others a nod, too, and had to stop myself from rolling my eyes when Sasha jumped up from her seat and came over to me. I hadn’t wanted to say goodbye to the people that I actually cared about. I certainly didn’t want to have to do it with the ones that I didn’t. Enough was enough.
I opened my mouth to tell Sasha this, but she brought a box out from behind her back that was all black and topped with a silver bow. I stared down at it a moment before taking it, wondering if she always went around giving people she barely knew presents, or if I just happened to be the lucky one. “Uh, thanks,” I said.
Sasha smiled widely, the look in her crystal blue eyes making me as uncomfortable as it always did. “It’s really cold in the Silver City,” she said. “You’re going to need it.”
I opened the lid of the black box and saw that an all black cloak with a hood was folded neatly inside. When Sasha pulled it out and slung it over my shoulders, I made no move to stop her. The cloak latched together in the front with what I had to assume were several tiny magnets, and when I looked down at myself, my entire body from feet to neck swathed in death’s color, I found that the gift was oddly appropriate for me. Especially today.
Surah is going to think we’ve stolen her style, Warrior.
“Well, then I guess that it’s a good thing that I don’t give a shit what Surah thinks, isn’t it?”
I guess so.
I thanked Sasha again, and Kayden and I left without another word.
When we returned to the spot where we had left our small army, we found that most everyone was wearing black cloaks and gloves and boots. Apparently, I was the only one who hadn’t known that this was the required attire for the Silver City, and seeing them all gathered this way made a terrible image of black and red against white flash through my head, and then it was gone.
Arrol found us and came over to stand next to me, his eyes running over the people who were going to be following us. He looked almost as nervous as I felt, and I realized that this was the first time that I had ever seen the Fae man look so. “You ready, Warrior?” he asked.
I nodded slowly, Nelly’s fallback answer to this question falling from my lips as though she had left it there for me.
“As I’ll ever be.”
Nelly
I stumbled and fell hard on my knees, catching myself with my hands to keep from doing a full nose-dive into the green earth. I stared down at the rich color through blurry eyes, my shaking fingers identifying the blades and grass, running over them the way a mother might stroke the cheeks of her newborn baby. I looked up, and there was blue. I had never seen a sky so beautiful. Slowly, the whole world came into focus and I was blinded by color, the same way I had been blinded by white in that other world I had just come from.
I was out. I was free.
And unless I was my mind was mistaken—which it never was—an entire day had gone by in the few hours I had spent in the White World. I had to give it to my sister. Her plan had been clever.
I tried to find my feet too quickly and my knees gave out beneath me. I forced myself to take deep breaths, kneeling on the ground like an injured animal, to push past my boiling panic and wait until enough strength found me that I could move forward. After what seemed like several eternally long moments, I stood, smoothed my hair back, and ran.
I passed several people, and I didn’t miss the fact that fear filled most of their faces and they cringed away from me as I zipped by. I had to stop myself from gripping their shoulders and demanding the whereabouts of my sister, as though everyone in the Outlands was keeping constant tabs on her. A light bulb went off in my head, as I remembered who and what I was, and that there was never any need for me to question anyone.
I threw my mind out without a second thought, blanketing the entire city beneath it. I came to a halt and closed my eyes as the presence and possession of so many souls filled me, and couldn’t help a small sigh at the wonder it induced to feel them once again. It took me no time, no time at all to dig out the information I needed.
It was true then. My sister had lied to me. The army had moved out. Alexa had gone to fight my battle in my stead.
Unacceptable. My eyes flew open and I was running again, moving faster than most anyone can move, and yet dreadfully not fast enough. The colors of the world blurred as I passed by, the shapes of the red maples and brown cottages and creatures becoming nondescript. In only a few heartbeats, I was leaping over the invisible border of the Outlands, and racing into the human world which blurred and streaked with my movement as well.
The Silver City, that bit of information had come to me from Camillia’s mind when I had blanket-Searched the Outlands a moment ago. I saw where it was located on an image of a map that had been in her memory. My sister would reach this place by nightfall, but what she didn’t know, is that someone close had given up her plans to the other side. What she didn’t know, was that when she reached this city that was painted all white on the map in the Queen’s mind, she would be walking into an ambush.
King William knew that she was coming, and he would be waiting for her.
My mind was running a mile a minute, and in the space between heartbeats I rejected so many options that it was a wonder that they didn’t burn a hole right through my head. There was only one way I could stop this. There was only one thing I could do.
I set out in Search of my other sisters. I was going to need their help.
Alexa
The light was different here. My army and I had followed Arrol to the very edge of the Outlands, a part of this world that was not accessible through the human world. I had gotten to see the ocean that I had heard
in the distance, and it had been unlike any ocean I had ever seen. We had just been going along, with me wondering just how big the small territory of the Outlands was, when the red dirt paths ended, and the world fell away and ended with it. And there had been the ocean.
It was not blue or gray or foaming with white, as every other ocean I knew of was, but instead, a rainbow of soft colors, like a perfect sunset in a skilled artist’s painting. I stood atop the ledge of rock that marked the edge of the Outlands, staring down and the gently rolling sea of color; turquoise, pink, electric purple, royal blue. Even the birds that flew over its waters were not the same as the gulls that you would find on any shore back home. They were as painted as the ocean over which they ruled, brilliant with color and ranging in sizes from large to small. Their cries were more like the tinkling of wind chimes than the squawks of the seabirds. Looking down into the depths of the water, I wondered what kind of horrors were wrapped in this deceptively beautiful box.
“What now?” I asked Arrol, my toes consciously close the ledge that dumped over into this mysterious sea. I feared I already knew the answer.
“I hope you’re not afraid of falling,” Arrol said.
I’d given him a droll look. “I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Good,” he said, “because this may be jarring without wings to slow your descent. You have to jump.”
I cursed under my breath. I wasn’t afraid of heights, but it had to be over a fifty yard drop from where I stood, down to the waters below. And, assuming that the fall didn’t kill me and the two-thousand five hundred people who I had led here, who the hell wanted to charge into a battle with clothes damp and stiff with sea salt?
As if Arrol could read my thoughts, he said, “None of you will be hurt. You will land safely in the Fae Forest, and no, you won’t be wet.”
I gestured down at the rolling rainbow sea below me. “That looks pretty damn wet to me.”