“I heard. I’m glad, Perse. I know it was hard without your ma, especially after Molly.” He stared down the row to Molly’s grave.
Sully was sitting down, saying something to Molly they couldn’t hear.
He cleared his throat. “It was my fault the village turned on you. They thought if I was blaming you, then surely you must’ve been negligent in some way. When I realized that, I told them all off and left, too. I especially couldn’t take my ma lashing out at you, even after we’d divorced.”
“What about the farm?”
“Gave it to my cousin. He helped me at the farm after you left, and it was clear he loved the life. He’s married now and they’re happy there. The farm should have some happy memories.”
Yes, it should. “You moved to Dublin?”
“Yeah. You know I was always good with numbers, used that to get jobs in accounting or financial management. I’m getting proper certified for it now, and I work for a big corporation that’s helping pay for it.”
“A lot different from farming.”
“It suits me.” He sat back, pausing before he spoke again. “Will you tell me what happened?”
All of the air around her seemed to disappear, sucked into the black hole of her grief. He’d never asked her what had happened when Molly’d died. He’d only asked what she’d done to Molly.
His eyes were inky black and wet, his body shaking with anger. “You were watching her, Perse! What did you do to her?”
She couldn’t see, couldn’t think for all her world was collapsing around her. Molly was gone. “I didn’t do anything! It just happened.”
He gripped her arms in a vicious hold, lifting her off the ground. “What did you do?”
She shivered and rubbed her arms where he’d held her that day. It may have been years ago but it might have been only minutes in her mind. The bruises he’d given her had taken weeks to fade away.
He’d never been violent, not ever, until then. She’d realized much later that she could have forgiven him for that—she had, actually—but she could never live with his blame. She lived with so much of her own, as well as everyone else’s…she just couldn’t bear to live with him blaming her, too.
It was hard to accept that his feelings had truly changed towards her. “I don’t…You really don’t blame me anymore?”
“I’m not the fool I once was, Perse. I know it’s hard to talk about. If you’d rather not, I understand and I’ll respect your decision.”
She glanced away, her eyes landing on Sully. As if he sensed her unease, he turned and caught her eyes. When he started to get up, she shook her head. He settled again, but she knew he’d be keeping a close eye on them in case she needed him. Knowing she had him and his support, it helped to steady her.
She took a deep breath, then began. “It was dark the night before, do you remember?”
His brows furrowed. “It’s always dark at night, Perse.”
“Not like this.” She was staring straight ahead, but she wasn’t seeing the rows of graves or bright green grass or rain. She was seeing their home as it had once been.
“Pitch black. The black before a storm comes raging through, but the storm never came. Just the black.
“It was quiet, too. Do you remember? So quiet. Everything was calm. Not even a breeze to blow the curtains around, not even ticking from that clock we had in the kitchen. Do you remember that? Everything was quiet.
“Everything but Molly.”
She swallowed. “She wouldn’t calm down. She was the storm that came. Raging and crying, nothing calmed her. Nothing. I tried feeding her, changing her, playing with her. I tried putting something on the telly to distract her. Nothing worked.
“Do you know what she sounded like?”
Tom’s voice was soft. “What, Perse?”
“She sounded afraid.” Little girls should never be afraid. “She sounded terrified, as if she’d seen a ghost or the devil himself. I didn’t know what to do.
“You’d left in the dark and were gone all night, helping the neighbors with the birth of their new foal. I knew it’d be useless to try and call you because no one’s near their phone when there’s a birth on the farm. Molly was fussy before you left, but it was nothing like this. I tried the doctor who told me I was over-worrying as a first-time mother. Since Molly didn’t have a fever and otherwise didn’t seem sick, I should just ‘get on with being a mother’ and not bother him with symptoms that ‘weren’t important’, according to him.”
God, that doctor had always been an ass, and a sexist prick to boot. “Eventually Molly just tired herself out from crying and fell asleep. I was relieved. Relieved! If only I’d known.”
She shook her head, barely recognizing the comforting hand on her shoulder.
“She was asleep and breathing when I put her in her crib. She was, I swear it. I checked the baby monitor was on in her room and ours, then I went to bed. I was so tired, but if she had cried I would have heard it.”
She turned to Tom and gripped the lapels of his coat. “I would have heard it. Do you believe me?”
There were tears streaming down his face and he nodded. “Of course I do. Sometimes I’d feel you get up before I ever heard her cry. Of course you would have heard it.”
Her hands relaxed and fell to her sides. “She didn’t though. Not a peep. When I woke the next morning, I couldn’t believe how long I’d slept. I thought at first you’d come home and you had her, but the house was so very quiet. Too quiet. I knew then something was really wrong.”
She swallowed. “I ran to her room and she was still lying there on her back, her face turned to the side. She was still. So still. God.” She choked as the sobs came fast and furious.
She’d never forget lifting her little body, searching for signs of life she knew were gone. No one ever forgot that. As time passed, it could shift to the back of her mind, but it was always there. She’d learned to live with it.
But reliving everything…it was too much.
Through her sobs, she managed to eek out, “Sully.”
She’d barely finished his name before he was there and she was in his arms. “I’m here, honey.”
With his warm, strong arms around her, his comforting words in her ear, she began to calm down. It was cathartic to get it all out, to finally state in her own words what had happened, and be believed, not blamed, for it.
She cuddled against him for a moment, then kissed his neck and pulled away. His hands shifted to brush away her tears, and she didn’t mind him seeing her tears anymore. She was glad she didn’t have to be strong with him all the time.
It was a relief she hadn’t expected but was grateful for all the same.
She turned to Tom, who was brushing away his own tears. She pulled away from Sully and turned to him, then pulled him into her arms. Tom deserved comfort, too.
It was strange yet familiar in his arms again. His arms were tight around her, but it was a different kind of tightness from Sully’s. His scent was different, too; when they’d been married, he’d smelled of the farm and earth; now he was wearing cologne. It suited him, but it reminded her that he wasn’t the same man she’d married.
Then again, she wasn’t the same woman he’d married, either.
Tom pulled back and kissed her on the forehead. “You’re a good woman, Perse.”
She gave him an unsteady smile. “You’re a good man, Tom.”
Tom’s eyes flitted to Sully, then back to her. “Will you keep in touch? I’d like to know how you’re doing, if you don’t mind it.”
She didn’t bother looking at Sully first; this was her decision, and he’d learn to live with it. “I’d like that. I’d like to know how you’re doing, too.”
“Are you planning to come back to Ireland? To stay, I mean?”
She had yet to tell Sully the truth, and wouldn’t do it now, in front of Tom, so she fibbed a little. “I don’t know yet.”
Tom nodded and pulled out a business card from his pocket
, which she took. “Well, look me up from time to time then, either way. My number’s on there. I’d like to take you both out for a pint when you’ve got time for it.” He paused, then cleared his throat and continued. “I’d also like to introduce you to the woman I’ve been seeing.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh. Yes, then, we will. I’d like to meet her.”
“I think you’ll like her.”
“Is it serious, then?”
Tom’s eyes flitted between her and Sully. “I’d wager we’re about as serious as the two of you are.”
Her hands reached out to his automatically. “Oh, really? Truly, Tom?” Even after all he’d done, she’d still worried about him after she’d left. She was thrilled he seemed to have found some happiness.
Everyone deserved happiness.
His hand patted hers in return. “Truly, Perse. I think it’s time we all tried to move on. I never expected it, you know, but I’m lucky to have met her. And I’m determined to be a better man.”
“You were always a good man, Tom. I’m glad things are working out for you.”
“I as well. I’m pleased you’re doing well. I’ve thought about you often over these last years. You’re in Valleria now?”
She nodded. “In Masillia. Along the coast. I feel peaceful there.”
“If anyone deserves peace, it’s you.”
Even though she knew she didn’t need Tom’s forgiveness and understanding, the fact that he’d given it—and more importantly, encouraged her to move on and be happy in love, too—warmed every corner of her soul.
Tom rose and kissed her forehead again. “I’m going to spend some time with Molly. You’ll call me?”
She nodded.
He held out a hand to Sully, who shook it, then he walked to Molly. He settled down on the damp earth and did what she had done: swiped away the moisture from the headstone and traced the etchings. She’d forgotten in all the grief how alike they’d been in some things. It was good to remember it now.
Sully’s arm came around her shoulders and she leaned into him.
“Thanks for letting me have that moment with Tom. I think we both needed it. We needed to comfort each other and grieve for Molly’s death together, which we’d never done before.”
“It wasn’t easy seeing you in the arms of another man, but I’ll always give you what you need, if it’s in my power to do it.”
She turned her head and met his eyes. “I know. It’s why I love you.”
His body went solid. “You love me?”
“You don’t think I forgot what you told me through Tom, did you?”
He winced. “I’d meant it for a more romantic moment, but it slipped out.”
She snorted. “I’ll bet.”
He growled and pulled her tighter against him. “You love me.”
“And you love me.”
“Guess that means we’re in love.”
Her face went soft and gooey. “Yeah, it does. Feels nice.”
“Yes, it does.”
Chapter Twelve
They’d left for Dublin a few days later, once it was clear her father was on the mend. Sully was relieved. Not because all the emotional scenes had been too much—nothing was too much when it came to taking care of her and helping her move beyond the past—but because he wanted some time with her alone.
Though she’d been through a lot the last few days, he’d been suffering, too, and he needed time with her to connect and enjoy their love before they went back to Valleria.
When he’d called his ma last night, he’d told her they could only stay one night before they had to leave. She’d understood but hadn’t seemed happy about it. He’d plan a longer visit in the future, after he knew how his career would shake out. He’d worry more about all of that later.
For now, he’d focus on what he and Persy were building.
He parked the hire car in the first open spot he found on his ma’s street. It was funny; he didn’t really think of it as ‘his’ street anymore, even though his ma’s house would always be a home to him.
“Nervous?”
She shook her head but said, “A little.”
He kissed her hand. “It’ll be great. You’ll see.”
He opened the door and pulled their bags from the trunk. He locked the car, then joined hands with her. They walked past the different row houses, each one colored slightly different so you knew where one house began and ended. The doors were painted in dark colors, mostly black, but he didn’t need to check the house numbers to know which one was his ma’s.
Besides the fact he just knew, his ma was also now standing in the entrance waving. She had the same hair as he, though it now boasted slivers of gray. She’d lost weight since he last saw her, but she’d been trying to get in shape on doctor’s orders, so he wasn’t concerned.
His ma was waving to them again with a smile on her face. “Think she’s keen to meet you, my ma?”
Persy was barely holding back a smile. “I think that’s a fair assessment.”
“You should have told me you’d parked, Ronan. I had to hear it from Jenny O’Toole.”
Sully looked over his shoulder to find Mrs. O’Toole watching from her window; he’d parked in front of her house. He finished walking to his ma and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. “I was ten feet away, Ma.”
His ma leaned forward. “Do you know I saved you a spot right in front of the house and Jason O’Toole parked there in the middle of the night! There’s nothing Jenny O’Toole likes more than to cause trouble or have the latest bit of gossip first.”
“Our arrival is gossip?”
“The biggest we’ve seen since Jason O’Toole quit another job. The boy can’t keep a steady job to save his life and the whole neighborhood knows it. Ooh, I just bet Jenny’s on the phone now telling everyone how she saw you first, before your own mother saw you.”
Persy laughed. “That sounds just like people I knew in the village. I thought it might be different in the city.”
“Not so much. Ma, I’d like you to meet Persephone Norton. Persy, this is my ma, Doreen Sullivan.”
Persy held out a hand for shaking. “Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Sullivan.”
His ma took her hand in both of her own and gave her a keen look. “Please call me Dory. Well, come on inside before any more of my nosy neighbors make an appearance.”
They stepped into the familiar—at least to him—foyer where he dropped their bags and walked into the parlor.
“Have a seat and I’ll bring some tea out.”
“Can I help?” Persy asked.
His ma waved her away as she walked towards the kitchen. “No, no. Have a seat. Won’t be a minute.”
Since the scents of shortbread and soda bread were filling the air, he guessed his ma had been busy this morning.
He sat and Persy settled beside him. “Do you think we’ll have a lot of neighbors stopping by all day, like we had at my ma’s?”
He rubbed her back. “I’m not sure. I do think my sisters will come by, though. Why?”
She put a hand to her stomach and frowned. “I’m not sure my stomach can deal with another day of nothing but tea and biscuits.”
He laughed. “I won’t let it get to that. Trust me.”
She smiled. He, with the laugh still on his lips, smiled back. That was how his mother found them.
“Oh.”
He turned at his ma’s voice, frowned at the big tray in her hands, and got up to help her.
“Oh, no. Sit down. I’ve got it.”
He took the tray anyway. “I’ve got it, Ma. You should’ve asked me to bring it in from the kitchen.”
His ma smoothed her skirt and apron as she sat. “If I had, I would’ve missed that lovely look you just gave each other.”
He put the tray down and snagged a piece of shortbread. “Look?”
“Yes. It was a very…loving look.” She leaned over to pick up the teapot and started pouring.
He swallowed a bite of melt-i
n-the-mouth orange and lemon shortbread, a specialty of his ma’s. “Since we love each other, I’m not surprised that’s what you saw.”
She put the teapot down with a clang and put a hand over her heart. “Oh, truly?”
“Yes, Ma.”
“Oh. Oh. It puts my heart at ease.” She leaned over to clutch Persy’s hand. “You’ll take good care of him?”
“Ma.”
Persy just smiled. “Of course I will.”
“And he takes good care of you?”
“Very much. I…I don’t know how I would’ve made it through the last few days—or even weeks—without him.”
“Your family?”
Persy stiffened beside him.
Shit.
“You know about, well, me? Everything?”
Sully rubbed a hand down her back. “I told them after it was decided we’d come to Ireland. I’m sorry if I spoke out of turn.”
“No, it’s okay.”
Was that really ‘okay’ or a bullshit ‘okay’? “Honey.”
She put a hand on his knee and squeezed. “Really. It’s okay. It shouldn’t be a secret. Molly shouldn’t be a secret anymore.”
God, she was strong.
He wouldn’t mess this up between them. Whatever happened with work, he’d make sure they were together. “All right, honey.”
His ma waded in. “Are you sure you don’t mind? I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, you just caught me off guard, is all. I don’t mind you knowing, truly.”
His ma nodded. “Good. Will you tell me what happened with your family? Not right now if you’d rather not, but before you leave?”
Persy nodded.
His ma patted Persy’s hand, then let go. “Good. Good.”
“Ma, you didn’t need to—”
That seemed to snap her out of her mood. “Don’t you tell me what I do and don’t need to do, Ronan Sullivan.”
Jesus. “Yes, Ma.”
“Now, your sisters are on their way over, and May’s bringing the little ones with her.”
Ripple (Persy & Sully) (Seaside Valleria #2) Page 17