by M. J. Scott
"I don't want to play a game." My voice wobbled slightly.
"Not a game. Just relaxation."
If he'd really wanted to help me relax, he could at least have offered me a screaming orgasm or two.
I clamped down on that thought. Bad idea. Very bad idea.
I just wasn't sure it was as bad as letting my brain be hooked into a computer again.
I could almost hear my mother's laughter in my head. She'd never been big on giving in to fear. “Get tough or get trampled” had been one of the charming buds of wisdom she'd embedded in my head from the time I was old enough to toddle. Fear got short shrift. She'd gone after whatever—or whoever—she'd wanted. Granted, half the time what she wanted resulted in us having to leave town in a hurry, not to mention her bonding me to a demon, but maybe she'd been right in the basic philosophy. Being scared didn't matter. Doing something you needed to do whether or not you were scared did. Even Gran would have agreed with that one.
I tried to unclench my jaw. "Define relaxing."
"It would be easier for you to define relaxing. Let's start with something simple. Beach or mountains?"
Mountains meant woods. Trees. The first time I'd encountered my demon was in a wooded area in one of Damon's games. The second time was in real woods. If I was already pushing buttons by agreeing to use VR, it might be easier to take one fear at a time.
"Beach," I said firmly.
"California, Hawaii, Mexico, Caribbean, Pacific?"
I shrugged. "When I travel, it's usually for work. There's not much beach time involved. You choose."
"Okay." His arms tightened. "I'm going to put you on the other chair now."
I wriggled in his lap. "Your arm is hurt. You shouldn't be lifting me."
"Let me decide what my arm can handle." Before I could protest any further, he stood. My arms wrapped around his neck instinctively, and his grip tightened. I heard him suck in a quick breath, but then he moved and smoothly transferred me into the game chair, peeling my hands away.
"There." He stepped back. "Get yourself settled."
I looked down, scooting back in the chair, hoping the heat in my cheeks wasn't showing. The sensation of buttery soft leather under my hands and body was familiar enough to be soothing. I laid my head back and focused on keeping my breathing steady.
"Okay. I'm going to put the headset on you now." Damon's fingers were gentle. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about what I was about to do. He touched my right hand. "Lift your hand so I can open the control panel."
I obeyed. Something clicked, and then Damon pressed my hand down until it rested gently on a big button. "That's your kill switch," he said, "Right there under your palm. If you get scared or want out, just hit it, same as any other system. Go switch is just above it."
"Got it." I resisted the urge to wipe my palm on my jeans.
"I'll meet you in the lobby," he said. I listened as he settled into the other chair.
My hand hovered over the button as I fought down the squirming fear in my stomach once more. I didn't feel brave, but I wasn't going to let the fear win. I closed my eyes and hit the go switch.
I stood in a fairly standard VR lobby. White walls and floor and ceiling that varied slightly in shade to give the illusion of standing in an actual room. Damon was waiting for me. I hadn't seen his avatar since the very first night we met. Back then I'd thought it had to be idealized, but now I knew there wasn't really much difference between the man and the virtual version. Though here in game space, he didn't look tired or stressed. Which only made him more attractive. His avatar wore khaki shorts and a white tee shirt.
I looked down at mine, wearing my default black jeans and black tank. "Am I overdressed?"
His avatar grinned. "Well, if you wanted to dial up a bikini, I wouldn't argue, but without a chip, you're not going to feel the heat."
I glanced at his wrist, but the avatar didn't have a chip. "Are you using your chip?"
"Nope, just a headset, same as you."
That should have made me feel better, but it only pinged my guilt again. This was a moment of escape for him, too, but without his chip, he wouldn't get the full immersive experience, just sight and sound.
I didn’t know what showed on my face, but he said, "It's okay, Maggie. I'm perfectly happy with a headset."
He stretched out one hand and made a downward gesture. A menu appeared in the air before him, and he typed something in. Keeping our destination a surprise rather than using voice commands. "Ready?"
I nodded.
The lobby faded out, and suddenly I stood on pure white sand rather than tile. The beach curved away on either side of me, the sand gleaming in the sunlight. The water was a shocking shade of tropical blue, almost unreal, stretching out into the distance before it deepened to a darker shade. The waves rolled in gently, curling into froths of white. Apart from a few seagulls riding the air currents above us, we were alone, only the sound of wind and waves breaking the silence.
"Where are we?"
"Whitehaven Beach, Australia. You like?"
"I do." As fake relaxation spots went, it was gorgeous. The sound of lapping water eased the tension in my spine.
"Good." Damon sat on the sand, leaning back on his hands. He closed his eyes and tipped his face up to the sun. Another benefit of a virtual beach. No need for sunscreen.
He just sat quietly, clearly not intending to talk unless I wanted to. I lowered myself beside him, staring at the water, focusing on the sea. Without a chip, I knew I wasn't really sitting on sand, but it was soothing just the same.
My breathing slowed down to the rhythms of the waves curling onto the sand and receding back again in sparkling coils of froth and sunlit water. The lingering edges of fear melted away. Ironic that the thing I was most afraid of had relaxed me faster than anything back in reality could.
Back there, since Nat died, I'd been too busy trying to keep myself busy to stop and be brave enough to just let myself breathe.
Maybe it was time to stop running. Running hadn't stopped the past catching up with my mother. And so far, it hadn't stopped it catching up with me either.
"That thing at the house," I said, still staring out at the waves. "It was coming for me, not you." Somehow it was easier to talk about the imp in here.
"Hard to tell. It could have been trying to go through you to get to me. Or take you out to get to me."
I swiveled to face him. "I'm the more likely target. You don't have magic."
He shrugged and tossed a shell toward the water, where it landed with a gentle splash. "I have billions of dollars."
"Not sure demons are into extortion."
"Who says it's a demon? Cassandra said humans can summon imps. So it could be someone getting creative with an old-fashioned snatch-and-grab plot."
I opened my mouth to argue with him, then closed it. Fighting about it wasn’t helpful when we had no idea what the truth was. If the imp was after me, then Damon would be safer if he got away from me, but if it was after him, then he was more vulnerable without a witch by his side. There was no way to know. Not unless Cassandra had figured out more about how these things were being summoned.
That was a problem for later. Now that I'd calmed down again, I wanted Damon to get checked out by someone who had more medical experience than me.
"We should log out and call Cassandra, get someone to look at your arm." I climbed to my feet. Even if this was a basic relaxation module, it was still detailed enough that my avatar's jeans were coated with sand, and I brushed at them without thinking.
He held out his good hand. "Help me up."
"If you need my help to stand, then I'm going to hit the kill switch and call Cassandra right now."
"Humor me," he said.
I reached out and took his hand. Without the benefit of a chip, I couldn't actually feel him, but there was something still weirdly intimate about holding his hand. I tugged at it and he stood, all the long lean length of him suddenly too close. I
knew he was still safely several feet away from me, lying on the game chair next to mine, but my heart sped up anyway. I started to let go of his hand, but he tightened his grip.
"You know, we didn't finish the conversation we were having back there."
Now he brought that up? "I know. But I'm not sure there was much more to say." I'd told him as much as I was willing to tell him. As much as it was smart to tell him. I had to cling to a shred of common sense to protect my heart.
"I didn't get to answer you. Maybe I have something to tell you as well."
"You do?" I gazed up at him. His avatar was not quite him, but the eyes were the exact brilliant shade of blue they were in real life. The kind of clear skies and sunlit seas blue I just might get lost in. But I had to remember that really, sunlit seas could be home to the kinds of mythical creatures that tempted humans to madness in the name of love. That blue had certainly made me throw caution to the wind a time or three in the past. I didn't want to be dazzled again.
"I do," he said, expression intent.
"Something that doesn't fall under the definition of careless?" I asked, hoping to prevent him from saying the kind of thing my heart wanted to hear from him. The kind of thing I couldn't trust.
"It falls under the definition of honest. Does that count?"
"Honesty isn't always the best policy." I sounded breathless. Embarrassing.
"You said you didn't think we should leave things unsaid."
"Maybe I was wrong."
"No, you were right. I listened to you. And now you should listen to me."
"All right." I tugged my hand away. "But if you're going to say it, tell me in the real world. I want to hear it from you, not a bunch of electrons."
The quirk of the mouth the avatar gave me was so precisely Damon that I had to admire whoever it was who had put this particular bunch of electrons together. It was a damned good job. Knowing Damon, he may have even built it himself.
"Okay. Real world it is. See you there."
He blinked out of existence, leaving me alone on the beach. Me and my big mouth. I could have stayed here sitting in peace, ignoring the world just a little longer. But I'd made my choice now. And part of me really wanted to know what he had to say.
I flexed my fingers in real life to hit the kill switch. The beach evaporated, and suddenly all I could see was the darkness behind my own eyelids. I opened them slowly and sat up, tugging the headset free.
Beside me, Damon was untangling himself as well. He was faster at it than me. When he finished, he swung his legs around to the right side of his chair and stood, offering me a hand up, the gesture the mirror of mine in the simulation.
If it had been hard to hold his hand in the simulation, it was near excruciating in real life. His fingers were warm and strong around mine, his thumb moving just the smallest fraction back and forth against my palm. Or maybe I was imagining that part.
Imaginary or not, the tiny caress was equal parts reassuring and just plain hot. What kind of idiot got hot and bothered from just holding the hand of a man who'd broken her heart? But I couldn't make myself let go. Instead, I stood there, rooted to the floor as firmly as though my feet were welded to the carpet somehow, my heart so loud in my ears that he had to be able to hear it.
"What did you want to tell me?" I was impressed that I managed to get the words out.
"I've missed you, too," he said.
And then toppled sideways.
I lunged for him, but he was bigger and heavier than me, and all I really managed to do was make sure he landed a bit more gently on the floor before I barely managed to avoid landing on him.
I dropped to my knees, feeling frantically for a pulse. It was there but seemed too fast.
What the hell was going on?
And where was the damned panic button when I needed one? The fancy one inbuilt in Damon’s chip was no use to me when only he could set it off. But surely it would have some sort of backup for a situation just like this, something that reported back if his vitals went weird?
Then my brain kicked back into gear. "Madge," I yelled. "We need some help in here."
"Damon gave the ‘do not disturb’ order," Madge said. "Is there an emergency situation?"
"Maggie, your boss is currently passed out on the floor. Call Mitch. Or someone."
There was a buzz/flash tingle. Another body scan.
"Confirmed. Assistance will be on the way, Maggie. Please remain where you are."
Like I was going anywhere.
I rolled Damon onto his side and made sure his breathing seemed okay, trying not to freak out all over again. Madge would send help.
But maybe she couldn't actually provide the kind of help he might actually need. I had to call Cassandra.
My datapad was back with my purse in the bathroom. I practically levitated as I sprinted to grab it.
I told the pad to call Cassandra while I was still running back to Damon.
"Maggie?" Cassandra said, sounding slightly sleepy. "Is something wrong?"
"I'm at Righteous. Damon just collapsed. There was another imp at my house. It scratched him. It didn't look bad, and I cleaned it up and he seemed fine—"
"Another imp? Like the first?" She didn’t sound sleepy now.
"Yes. Sort of. Bigger."
"When was this?"
I looked at the datapad. It was getting close to midnight. "Nine, nine thirty, maybe?" I said. I hadn't been paying strict attention to the time when Damon drove me home.
"And you're only just calling now?"
I heard a rustle as though she was climbing out of bed.
"We were kind of busy getting out of there," I said. "And then—Look, I'll explain it all when you get here. But get here. Bring Radha or whoever you think can best help him. I'll make sure his security team don't freak out too much until you can get here." I ended the call. "Madge, do you have security clearance on file for Cassandra Tallant? And Lizzie Reagan?" Hopefully my own clearance was high enough that she would answer the question for me.
"Yes," Madge said. "They both have existing high access clearance."
"Good. One or both of them will be arriving on campus soon. Please make sure they're admitted and brought to wherever Damon is at that time."
"Acknowledged," Madge said. There was another buzz and flash. "Damon's vitals are unchanged. Is he still unconscious?"
"Yes."
"Security team ETA is approximately three minutes."
Great. I had three minutes to come up with a plan to make sure Mitch didn't get stubborn about all of this and airlift Damon to the nearest hospital.
All I could do was bluff my way through it.
I checked Damon's pulse again and prodded him a few times. "Wake up, damn it."
He remained stubbornly unconscious.
“Not helpful,” I muttered at him.
Lacking smelling salts or any desire to try to wake him with magic when I was clueless about how to do that safely, I just had to sit there, trying to work out what could have caused his collapse. There was no sign of blood on the bandage over his arm, so I didn't think it could be blood loss. Unless he had internal bleeding? But I'd seen no evidence of a blow hard enough to cause that sort of damage. The imp had been big, but not bigger than Damon, and they'd been rolling on grass.
My gut told me his collapse was magical, not medical. Not that that was necessarily the better option.
"The security team is at the outer doors," Madge said. "Mr. Fields and Mr. Angelico are incoming. Should I admit them?"
I didn't have much choice on that. I couldn't help Damon on my own. And I was pretty sure Mitch would find a way to get into the building by hook or by crook if the alternative was leaving his apparently injured boss alone in here with me. So I had to let them in. And then make sure they didn't toss me out.
Chapter Twenty-One
"How long has he been like this?" Mitch demanded as he marched through the door.
"Not long," I snapped back. "I called for he
lp as soon as it happened."
The look he shot me suggested he didn't believe me.
"I know you don't like me, but give me credit. If I meant him harm, I wouldn't have called for help, would I?"
Mitch grunted, busy doing the same sorts of things I had, checking Damon's pulse and shaking him gently to see if he would wake up. "What happened to his arm?"
"There was another...incident."
That earned me a look of fury. "And you didn't tell us? Ajax, how long on the doc?"
"She said about ten minutes," Ajax said. "Should we move him to the clinic?"
"Until we know what's going on, it's safer to leave him here," I said. "His breathing is fine, and his pulse is stable. Cassandra is on her way, too. She'll bring a healer with her."
"You didn't have authority to call her," Mitch growled.
"Damon trusts Cassandra. And if this has anything to do with the things that have been going on, then you need magical help, not just medical."
"I think you'd better start telling me what happened," Mitch said, straightening.
"We tangled with another imp. At my house. It went for me, Damon intervened. That's when it clawed his arm."
Mitch glanced back down at Damon.
"It's not a bad wound. More like scratches," I added.
"Scratches don't usually result in people passed out on the floor. Keep talking."
"We got away. We came here. I cleaned up Damon's arm, and then we...well, we both needed to calm down a bit, so we sat in the VR here for a while. Not long."
"He collapsed after the VR?" Ajax asked, looking alarmed.
"Yes. But I don't think it was that. There wasn't anything like the times weird things happened to me in a game. No weird noises or anything." Still, the thought was sending a chill down my spine. "Damon said this system was isolated. All we did was sit on a beach."
"Whitehaven?" Mitch asked absently. "He likes that one."
I nodded. "But I'm fine. If there was something in the system, it would affect both of us. Which is why you need Cassandra and whoever she brings. I know Dr. Chen is great, but she won't be able to help if it's not just physical.