by Jordan Bell
“Water, maestro?” I heard Tyler behind me and Josh moved to meet him, taking his body’s warmth with him. I swallowed, rubbed my hands across my marked arms. How had the night gotten so complicated?
“God, yes.”
I stretched and eased my weight off my bent legs. I untucked one leg, then two, but wobbled unsteadily when I tried to stand. I caught myself on the ottoman and when I tried to straighten, Julie appeared next to me.
“Easy there, Kat. You ok?”
“Yes?” I laughed, though it came out unsteady and a little painful. “That was intense.”
“You’re telling me. Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but holy hot damn. I was a little weirded out by Josh being here, not that I’m surprised at all. That, whatever that was, was hot as hell. You guys have outstanding chemistry.”
“No. We…no. It’s not like that.” I shook out the stiffness in my legs. It felt like I was learning to walk for the first time.
“Yes, oh yes. The way he looked at you…Kat, it wasn’t the way you look at a kid sister, you know what I mean?”
I knew what she meant. It had changed something for us. Maybe everything. I could still feel his hands on me, pulling, tugging, tightening, circling me until I could be no one else’s but his.
“Bathroom?” I wobbled a bit when Julie pointed towards a hallway opposite the dining room and lanai. I left her in the seating area, climbed the stairs gracelessly, and headed for the dimly lit hall. Josh, Tyler, and another man stood near the bar where Kelli was serving bottles of water and tiny bites of food. He looked up when I appeared, tensed, and took one step towards me. I waved him off and headed down the hallway alone.
Most of the rooms were closed but the bathroom was lit by candles and easy to find. I nudged the door shut with my toe, locked it, and sank back against it for support.
I had no idea what I was doing.
I’d always thought of Josh as handsome, but I’d never imagined him touching me or pulling my clothes from my body or, oh God, dominating me. Now it was all I thought about, all I imagined, and the lingering pressure of his hands fueled my rush of desire.
The candle light brightened the mirror over the sinks and was enough for me to inspect myself. The rope lines made soft red dashes across my skin, but to my disappointment were already fading fast. I touched them, felt the heat of their mark, like a brand, and wondered what it would look like if I’d been naked and the ropes had been allowed to mark my chest.
I…I really wanted that.
I washed my hands, fixed my hair, and pulled off the mask so I could dab the sweat from my eyelids. The cool air felt lovely against my skin, but I also felt relieved when I tied it back in place. Anonymity. Like Josh had said, I could feel like a stranger wearing this thing. It put some space in between the Josh I grew up with and the Josh who liked to dominate young women like me.
I opened the door and without warning a pair of hands grabbed me up, dragged me into the dark hallway and pushed me into the wall. I could barely see him, but I could smell him, feel him, and even as he held me crushed between the wall and his body, I wasn’t afraid.
Josh dug his fingers into my back, gathered my skirt into his hand and held me still. Held himself still. His mouth lowered to my throat, to my collarbone, and fogged my skin with his hot breath. He held back kissing me though, from indulging in what I knew we both wanted. His free hand roamed down the length of my body, very lightly as if he were afraid to commit. His nails scraped through my dress as it traveled my torso.
“Kat,” he murmured against my skin. “This is wrong. It’s so wrong.”
I moaned and strained towards him, eager to feel the tightness of his arms around me. I closed my eyes, raised my hands against his ches, and took up handfuls of his dress shirt.
“Kiss me, Josh.”
He groaned and tightened his hold on me and it was then I felt it between us, the hard bulge of his erection through his pants.
“I can’t. I can’t.” He groaned softly, regretted everything he said. “I want to. God, I want to. I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone as badly as I want you right now, but it would be such a mistake we’d both regret tomorrow. Do you understand? We’ll never recover from this. We’ll never be able to go back to the way things were.”
I stiffened in his arms, grateful for the wall holding me up. What he said was true, but it hurt like hell to hear him say it. I recognized the desperation in his voice for what it was - guilt. He already regretted what had happened between us while I yearned for more.
It made me feel pathetic.
“I’m not a mistake,” I whispered, unable to hide the hurt. “If you don’t want me, fine. Then let me go.”
I pushed him off me. Before I could flee back to the living room, he grabbed my wrist and twisted me into the wall so I faced away from him. He crushed me there, held me perfectly still, his fists captured my wrists and pressed them into the wall.
It took him seconds to regain control of me and this time I could barely struggle his hold on me was so absolute. I twisted, pulled, pushed, but nothing could budge him and my struggling only made him tighten his grip.
Josh’s heavy breathing startled me as he lowered his mouth to my ear and kissed me in the soft space behind my earlobe. This one act settled me and cast some kind of lovesick spell over my fight. I released into his hold and allowed him to capture me.
“Mine,” he growled.
Josh sank into my body and pressed his erection against the curve of my backside. I felt blissfully powerless against him and I wanted this. I knew without a doubt in my mind how much I wanted him.
It didn’t matter that it could ruin our friendship. It didn’t matter that his dark desires meant power play, control, even the possibility of pain, none of which I’d ever explored before. It didn’t matter that I knew his secret and he knew mine and we could destroy everything we ever had.
I wanted him and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wanted me, too.
Josh pressed hungry kisses down my neck and back up. He nipped at the hollow of my throat and growled low against my skin. “What do you want, Kitty Kat? Tell me. Tell me exactly what you want.”
Our hips locked in a pattern, me circling my hips back against his growing erection as an invitation to something more, and him grinding back his undeniable acquiescence.
“I want...” I moaned and lost all control of my thoughts and voice as he let go of one hand and lowered his fist down my body to the hem of my skirt and began lifting it. He didn’t take his time dragging the fabric up into a wad over my hip, nor did he waste time pushing his hand down the cleft between my cheeks to the wet, humid triangle of fabric between my legs.
Josh growled again, throaty and all animal as he felt just how badly he’d turned me on, and while I struggled to find the words he needed me to say, the words I’d beg, he began rubbing pressure along the thin fabric that protected my moist sex from his invading fingers.
“Josh,” I whimpered, begged, as his hand turned my body against me. I touched my forehead to the wall, every part of me focused on standing, on breathing, on pushing through the madness taking over my body. If he kept touching me like this, playing and teasing me like a toy, I was going to come shamelessly against his hand.
“I want…I want you. I want this. More rope…a lot more rope.” I gulped air between each word, my voice coming out shaking and broken. “Teach me what you like, Josh. Show me how to please you.”
He groaned and released his hold on my panties and wrapped his arm around my waist instead. He let go of my hand and spread his palm against the wall to hold himself up. Josh stilled us as if terribly afraid we were close to crossing some unspoken line.
We stayed that way for a long time, him breathing heavily against the back of my neck, me resting my cheek against the wall for support. My heart raced and despite the stillness of our bodies, gave no sign of slowing down any time soon.
“That…no.” He exhaled finally, and I fel
t his whole body shake with tension. “That is out of the question. What I like…that’s not an option. Not with you. Don’t ever ask me again.”
Pain shot through my chest and my whole body wilted. My racing heart came to a violent stop and never restarted. “I want it to be you. Isn’t that enough?”
I turned my face away from the wall towards his mouth and reluctantly his lips brushed my jaw and kissed the soft underside of my chin. Our lips brushed close, but not quite. Not quite.
“If you have to ask that, then I know this can never happen.”
“If you don’t want to teach me,” I said slowly, quietly. “I promise I will find someone who will. This is my choice.”
7
____________
Josh
Lust, desperate, uncontrolled lust fueled my aggression when I took Kat by the wrist and pulled her across the hallway to an empty bedroom. She gave a squeak of surprise but didn’t argue when I dragged her inside, kicked the door shut, and shoved her to her knees against the wall. She stumbled, fell gracelessly, and caught her free hand on the plush carpet. Four small candles lined the windowsill and provided only enough light for me to see her kneeling, struggling silhouette. The candlelight sent the reflective glitter on her mask sparkling beautifully.
Beautiful. Everything about Kat was beautiful. How had I not noticed before?
But what she wanted from me was out of the question. Train her? Dominate her? Punish her? I didn’t think any man was strong enough to survive the emotional backlash that was certainly inevitable from such a contract.
And yet, when I called her mine I’d meant it with my heart and soul. Seeing her with anyone else might actually kill me.
“You want to know what I like, Kat?” I let her go and dropped my voice to a hoarse whisper. She fell forward on her hands and let her hair fall across her face. I could hear her hummingbird breathing, quick, light, anxious. Sensuous.
When she didn’t answer right away I buried my fist in her hair and yanked her head back, not hard enough to hurt, but sharp enough to get my point across.
“When I ask you a question, I expect you to answer me immediately.”
“Y-yes. Josh, yes,” she breathed, her wet lips catching candlelight. Their full, ripe pout sent my mind reeling through all sorts of dirty, gorgeous ideas. There were things she’d never dreamed of that I could do with that bratty mouth and new ones even I hadn’t yet indulged in. “I want to know what dream about. I can be what you want.”
You already are. As if she ever needed to worry about that.
If she had been anyone else I would have ordered her to call me Sir and nothing else, but I didn’t want to take my name away from her. I did not want to rob us of the intimacy my name and our long history gave us.
“I crave your obedience.” As I spoke I unfastened my belt, slid the leather through its buckle, and stepped desperately close to her kneeling body. I tightened my hold on her hair, pulled a fraction harder. She trembled very slightly but my pet didn’t lower her eyes from mine. “Tell me to stop, Kat.”
I waited, fingers hovering over the zipper. She blinked slowly and raised her eyes to meet mine. Her soft face didn’t give way to trepidation. She radiated eagerness and longing.
There was no going back now.
“Open your mouth.”
Kat obeyed, help me but she obeyed perfectly. Her lips parted and she opened her mouth sweetly, the tinge of fear she expressed earlier disappearing. Somehow, ordered like a slave, she became stronger for it. My fingers shook as I unbuttoned my pants, unzipped them, and freed the throbbing erection I’d had since I’d laid eyes on her.
I almost pulled her mask off so I could see her beautiful face, but something stayed my hand. The mask offered some sense of safety. Later we could argue this had all been a terrible, but very hot fever dream brought on by the situation and our familiarity. Removing the mask removed our excuse. I wasn’t prepared for that.
Kat’s hot breath warmed the head of my cock as I held it in front of her and returned my other hand to her hair. She seemed to like the hair pulling, her eyes rolling back for a moment to enjoy the pressure as her head tilted backwards. I had to remember that for next time.
Next time. No, no, no. This could only be a onetime thing. I couldn’t take this moment back to our real lives. If we could even still go back there. If we hadn’t already ruined everything.
I don’t know if I could let her go a second time.
“Wider. Good girl. Oh,” I groaned as I fed the head between her lips, a painful inch at a time, along the velvet flat of her tongue. She seemed smaller to me in this vulnerable position than she ever had, and I felt ridiculously afraid of hurting her while at the same time aroused by the thought of pushing her beyond her limits.
She purred softly and that was enough to set off the slow build I’d been tempering all night. At that moment all I wanted to do was bury myself inside her.
Kat gave a muffled cry as I suddenly tightened my hold on her hair and speared into her roughly, her cheeks puffing then hollowing as she suctioned around my thickness.
Her mouth became delicious agony, small and tight around my broad shaft. I groaned loudly, forgetting myself, and closed my eyes as the sensation of being inside her took root. I skimmed the fat head along the roof of her mouth and back out along her tongue. I speared her once again, a slow thing that buried all my conflict away and focused the world on the junction of our bodies, the press of her pink lips and the engorged hardness of my cock.
Deep. I wanted to penetrate her core through her warm mouth. I quickened my thrusts and took up more of her hair in my tight grip when she tried to help. I didn’t want her to help. I wanted to claim her. That was my dark fantasy, the one I’d jerked off to not so long ago that had tormented me for months after. I wanted to fuck her mouth, penetrate her at my command, my intensity. I wanted to bruise her lips, ravish her mouth, then empty myself down her throat when I couldn’t take it anymore.
I wanted her whole world. I wanted her to want this.
And then I wanted to kiss her relentlessly every morning and every night and any time I damn well felt like it.
Kat whimpered and pawed at my thighs, and when she tried to stroke my balls as if I were a regular lover, someone she’d done regular, vanilla things with, I batted her hands away impatiently.
“Take it,” I panted. She stretched her mouth wide to accommodate my size which looked too big inside her mouth, but the view only encouraged me. The effort of fitting inside her like this made my thighs quiver and I didn’t know how long I could last. Not long. This was perfect, but too intense. When my shaft jerked and swelled I knew I was almost there.
I fell forward and caught myself with one hand against the wall, bent over her now. I squeezed my eyes shut as I pounded her mouth and my beautiful pet took it all, her eyes always turned up to me, nostrils flaring. The candlelight caught their green glimmer, sweet and giving and trusting. I didn’t know if I deserved it, but I cherished it and with that trust went the last of my resolution.
“Katrina.” With a throated moan I squeezed my eyes, wrenched her closer, and plunged into her wet mouth, all the way in, unrestrained until I hit her throat and kept pushing.
She made some throated noise, a protest or a moan I couldn’t tell. Her mouth suctioned around me, lapped across the underside as dams burst. I threw my head back and flooded her mouth.
Obediently she swallowed and sucked until the pressure of her mouth was too much. Until her touch was too much. Until I was shaking and half sobbing her name.
Katrina. Katrina. Katrina. I stroked her face, her hair, brushed my thumbs against her lips and wanted her again. Now. Again. Again. Again.
Mine.
Sliding out of her mouth left an agonizing ache behind. I wanted nothing more than to find my way back inside her, but the tremendous sensation of her nearness was enough to send me over the edge again. I had to slow down. I had to get some distance, some control.
&n
bsp; God, we were so doomed.
Her lips looked shiny in the low light, a touch swollen. I closed my eyes and placed both hands on the wall above her head and held myself there for a long time. The quivering in my thighs subsided, leaving the muscles tired and satisfied. When I thought I could handle the sight of my beautiful girl waiting on her knees for evidence of my approval, I finally turned my eyes down on her.
She watched me from behind her mask, eager but too nervous to smile. Her cheeks glowed in the candlelight. She bit her bottom lip.
I smiled.
Kat’s body released its tension, its anxiety, and the hint of her smile gave way to a full bloom of pleasure.
“Good girl.” I dropped my hand to cup her cheek and stroke the messy strands from her face. “My beautiful pet.”
She breathed a sigh of relief, as if the possibility that she wouldn’t, or couldn’t, please me was ever in question. I zipped myself back up and sighed, then I reached down to collect her.
She reached for me, captured her arms around my neck, and for that moment as I held her, I considered kissing her. I wanted to kiss her, badly, but that was one more line I couldn’t cross. They all seemed impossible to cross, too many rules we were forbidden from breaking, but this one…
Tomorrow she’d be waiting tables in my bar and we’d have to look at each other and she’d have to give me her drink orders and expect me to hand them to her and we couldn’t have the pressure of a kiss lingering between us.
I knew I was being thick headed and obstinate. I knew if not a kiss, then the oral sex I’d just engaged her in. Which was worse? I didn’t know, but I knew a kiss meant more. Or it should.
If I kissed Kat now, I would never be able to stop.
I nudged my knee between her legs and urged her back towards the bed. She stumbled, but complied. I could feel her hot little pants of anticipation puffing through my shirt. I smiled, bent down, and scooped her up.
“Josh! No! I’m too much!” She squealed and fought me, but I won and deftly deposited her on top of the lush comforter.