by Griff Hosker
“Well sir, that’s torn it then.”
“Aye it has.” I turned to Pierre. “Well we had better come back with you then Pierre.”
He tapped the side of his nose. “We are not defeated yet. Do not be so pessimistic. Let us go.”
As we rode he explained. “There is a small port some five miles away. St Valery. I know a couple of smugglers and they occasionally go to England to sell brandy.”
“And how do you know them?”
“Who do you think supplies the brandy?”
If I thought that the whole village would be asleep I was wrong. The tavern was busy. When we entered the room everyone stopped their conversation and stared at us. They all looked to be working men who could handle themselves. The gnarled knuckles and weather beaten faces told the whole story in an instant. Had we been alone then I think that Sharp and I might have come to harm. As it was Pierre’s presence must have reassured them for they visibly relaxed when they recognised him.
The owner, a tiny, shifty looking ferret of a man, cocked his head to one side. “Pierre what brings you out here at this ungodly hour?”
Pierre laughed and clasped the man’s hand. “Why to be amongst the ungodly of course.” The whole room laughed and went back to their conversations. “This is Robbie and Alan. They are friends of mine.” He lowered his voice. “Is Jean around?”
With an equally quiet voice the owner said, “No, he left a couple of hours ago.”
“Damn. Listen, Serge, my friends here need to lie low until Jean returns. Can you help?”
The ferret showed his teeth as he smiled, “Of course…for a price.” He held out his hand and I gave him a couple of silver coins. He smiled, “A brighter colour would help.” I dropped a gold Louis into his palm and his smile widened. “There is a room upstairs and I will even throw in food and ale.”
Pierre snorted, “For that kind of price you should have thrown in your wife.”
He laughed, “She would have been included in the silver if she hadn’t run off last year with a wine salesman from Bordeaux. Come I will take you upstairs.”
“We have horses.”
“Put them in the stable. They will be safe enough.”
The room we were given was little more than an attic. There were four beds with horsehair mattresses and three grey blankets. I suspect the blankets had once been white but time and the lack of washing had turned them into a grey. I decided that, once the ferret had gone I would be discarding his blanket.
“I will bring some food and ale to you. Make yourself comfortable.”From his tone one would have thought he was offering us a room in the Louvre Palace.
Sharp had picked up a few of the words and I explained to him what our host had said. “How are you holding up?”
“Better than I thought I would. The arm aches but I haven’t had to use it much yet.”
I threw the blankets to the floor and watched as insects leapt, briefly from them, and then disappeared once more. I shook my head. “It looks like we have company tonight.” Sharp laughed. I picked up one of the mattresses and shook it violently. This time the insects and bugs leapt for the safety of the pile of blankets. I repeated the action with the other two mattresses. It would not deal completely with the wildlife but it would serve to thin them out.
Pierre and Serge returned with three plates of some offal based stew and a large tankard of ale. Once again Serge’s expression and gestures suggested we had been give food cooked by Bonaparte’s chef.
“I will see you gentlemen in the morning. You are quite safe here. Sleep well.”
After he had gone I asked, “Are we safe, Pierre?”
“No, the robbing bastard will assume you have more gold Louis. We will take it in turns to stay awake.”
I pointed at the pile of blankets which were almost moving of their own accord. “That won’t be a problem.”
We ate the food, which filled a small hole, and we drank the ale which was drinkable. “Sharp, you get some sleep. Pierre and I will watch.”
“Sir, I want to take my turn too.”
I shook my head, “You only have one arm at the moment. Do not worry, Alan, I had plenty of sleep at the ‘Chasseur’. This will not be a problem.”
He was soon asleep and Pierre and I turned down the lantern and talked as we peered through the attic windows at the dark Channel beyond. “If this Jean went out tonight then he might not want to go out again tomorrow.”
“You still have gold Louis?”
“A few, yes.”
“Offer him one he will ask for four and you settle on two. He will take you. Besides, the English can’t get enough of French brandy and wine. I am sure he will be able to make a second trip.”
“I want to thank you for what you are doing for us.”
“Don’t be daft, Robbie. I have enjoyed it. I like my life in the inn, don’t get me wrong. But I do miss the excitement we had doing those little jobs for Boney. I know that in a couple of years I won’t be able to do this sort of thing, so thank you. I feel rejuvenated. For a while I am a young horseman again.” He smoked his pipe in silence for a while. “To be honest I had been getting a little low lately. Julian and Monique are good people but I have no one. I was never a lady’s man, you know that. I enjoyed the camaraderie of the regiment. Seeing you again has brought the memories back. Seeing you and young Alan there working together is reassuring. The life I knew still goes on. When you are back in England and I am in the corner of the bar I will be imagining what you are doing. When I read the reports of the battles I shall look out for Light Dragoons and know that it may be you who is performing so heroically. To me you will still be little Robbie Macgregor and not the English spy.”
“You could come with us to England, Pierre. I am a successful businessman too and I have money. I even have a ship.”
“No, it is far too cold for me. But it is good to know that you have done well. Not so bad for a French bastard eh?”
“And I have contacts in Sicily. I know that you liked it there.”
“Ah yes, Naples and Sorrento.” I could hear in his voice that he was tempted by that idea as he remembered our visit there. “When you go there, write and let me know. I might take you up on that but I wouldn’t just turn up with your relatives. That is not my way.”
“They wouldn’t mind but I promise that I will let you know when I go there.” I began to think of a way to keep in touch. “You say you still keep in touch with Francois?”
“The lawyer from Amiens? Yes. He reads all our legal documents.”
“Good, then tomorrow we will get pen and paper and I will write a letter to him. He is still my lawyer and I will use him to pass information to you. He was always a bright young man and, unusually for a lawyer, honest.”
We sat in silence, each planning the future. I was pleased we had had this conversation for I could see that I had brought a little hope into his life. Our meeting had helped us both and that pleased me.
Suddenly I heard a creak on the stairs. Neither of us needed to speak. We both stood and went silently to the door. We stood on either side and waited for whoever came through. I took out my stiletto and my pistol. I reversed the pistol so that I held it like a club. The handle of the door began to move slightly and then it groaned open. In the dim light from outside I saw a hand. Pierre grabbed the outstretched hand and pulled. As the bald head came next to me I struck it with my pistol. Pierre punched the second man who lumbered into the room and I wrapped my arm around the ferret who hovered just outside and held my stiletto to his throat.
“So Serge, my gold Louis was not enough. You decided to rob me too.” I pricked his neck so that a tendril of blood dripped down his throat.
”No sir, this is a misunderstanding. We merely came to collect the dishes.”
Pierre had lit the lantern again and revealed the two men who were struggling to their feet. Their cudgels lay on the floor. “And they came with cudgels in case there were mice?”
Defeated he
hung his head. Pierre snorted. “Slit their throats Robbie. It’s all that they deserve.”
I could see the terror in the ferret’s eyes. “Shall I Serge? Shall I do the world a favour and rid it of three rats?”
He dropped to his knees, “No sir, please. I beg of you, spare us.”
Pierre kicked one of the men in the ribs. “You two, piss off. I am going to watch out of the window and if you are not at the end of the village by the time I count to two hundred then your boss dies. Clear?”
They nodded and Serge almost screamed, “Do it! For the love of God, do it!”
They scurried away, leaving their weapons on the floor. Pierre went to the window. “Well they can run that’s for sure.” He turned to Serge. “Anyone else around?”
He shook his head. “Just those two.”
Pierre chuckled, “I don’t think I believe you. I’ll take him downstairs Robbie and lock this place up. You can sleep now. I’ll watch our slippery friend here.”
I didn’t sleep. I watched the sea and listened. I thought of the journey I had had to reach this point. There was a time when I had thought I was a traitor. Now I did not. I was not fighting the French people; after all they were half of me. I was fighting a tyrant. I know that those people in America who had been of English stock had not thought they were traitors when they fought against King George for they, like me, were fighting a tyrant too.
I watched dawn’s light sparkle on the water and Sharp awoke. He saw the cudgels on the ground. “What did I sleep through?”
“The landlord decided to put up the rent in the night and these were his collector’s tools. Let us just say that we discouraged him.” He rose. “Let us go down stairs. Pierre has been watching the ferret all night.”
Serge was asleep on one of the benches. Of Pierre there was no sign but I could hear the spit of fat. I went into the kitchen and found him frying up hunks of ham. “The bread is a bit stale but there are plenty of eggs. I am sure our host will not mind us helping ourselves eh?”
We ate well that morning and wolfed down huge amounts of Serge’s food. I did not doubt that we would have had much smaller rations had he brought us breakfast. There was a sudden rapping on the door and a rough voice shouted, “What the hell is the door doing being locked? Open it Serge or I will gut you like a fish!”
Pierre did not seem at all put out by the threat and he left the kitchen. I heard the bolts slide back and the Pierre’s voice, “Well Jean, I see you are still a bad tempered old pig. Come in there’s some food on the go.”
Jean reminded me of every caricature I had ever seen of a pirate. He had a long flowing beard and hair. He stood on two tree trunks and his belt was festooned with weapons. “Jean, these are two of my friends and they would like you to take them to England.”
Jean did not seem discomfited by the request. He picked up a huge piece of ham and slapped it on a piece of bread and then he shovelled an egg on to the top and finally another piece of bread. He bit into it and gobs of yolk and fat spurted out, dripping down his already heavily stained coat. He smiled. He swallowed some of it and then turned to me to speak. It was disconcerting to have pieces of ham and bread fly at you.
“It will cost you. I did my business last night so it will be a special trip.”
I flashed a gold Louis.”One of these.”
“You didn’t pay Serge with one of those did you?” I nodded. “I bet the bastard tried to rob you.” Again I nodded. He emptied his mouth and wiped his hands on his jacket. “Four.”
“Two, and that is all.”
He nodded and he held out his left hand for the coins. I dropped them in and he shook hands with me. “I will be back at six. We sail at seven so do not be late. I have your money and I will not wait for you.”
Pierre asked, “Where are you off to then? Going to get more brandy and wine?”
Jean laughed and I saw that he had a gold tooth too. “Of course. No point in wasting a trip over is there?”
Serge spent most of the day sulking. Pierre rarely took his eyes from him. “Won’t this cause a problem to you?”
“Nah! Serge is a pain in the arse to most people. The only reason we tolerate him is because of where this place is. Jean is the one I wouldn’t upset. If anything this has helped me. Serge now knows not to cross me.”
“And his men?”
“They are alright at sneaking up on sleeping men but that is about it. They haven’t got the balls to try anything else. If I tell you none of them have ever served France you will have a better idea of what kind of men they are.”
Alan nodded. I smiled at him, “I see your French is improving?”
“Yes sir, I got most of that and I even worked out the French for ‘balls’!”
“Always a handy word to know, Sharp.”
The day dragged because I was worried that someone might arrive at this small port who might be an official or a soldier. The Grand Army was less than twenty miles from where we were. Who knew when they might decide to include this small port in the list of places from which to embark.
Pierre was certain that they would not come. “If I know my soldiers then they want to go as short a distance from their camp to get legless as possible. The officers would only go to the best hotels in the bigger towns and wouldn’t come here. The only danger you will have will be the French navy and the Royal Navy. They both try to stop smugglers. Old Jean is a past master at escaping them and they have not even come close yet. But there is always a first time and, as we know well, everyone’s luck runs out sometimes.”
Jean’s ship was bigger than I had expected. It had a mainmast and a lateen sail aft of the main one. It looked to be too big to be a fishing boat and too small for a trader. Pierre saw my puzzlement. “Are you wondering how much she can hold?” I nodded. “A lot! She has plenty of hold space. You will have to stay on deck; below is infested with rats and God alone knows what else. Luckily for you it is only a short voyage but keep everything to hand.”
I held up my leather satchel. “We both have one of these. Everything we need is in them.” Sharp had spent the morning copying out all the information in case we were separated. I had also written my letter to Francois and sealed it with my mother’s ring. Although Francois knew and trusted Pierre it was a guarantee that the missive came from me.
Pierre walked us to the ship. It had the unlikely name of ‘Mathilde’. It seemed somehow, incongruous, given Jean’s appearance and the nature of his business.
“Come on lads step lively. Pierre, give your mate a kiss and then we’ll shove off.”
Pierre made an obscene gesture at Jean but his eyes were smiling. “You take care, Robbie and I hope we meet again.”
“You take care too.”
Pierre grasped Alan’s hand, “You are the first Englishman that I have met that I didn’t try to kill. You’re all right you are.”
Sharp laughed, “Enjoy your tavern my friend.”
And then we were aboard and the boat was edging west towards the setting sun. Jean grinned amiably at us, the sun glinting off his tooth. “Now I am not going anywhere special for you two. I have a little place I am heading to close to a place call Hastings. You go ashore when the barrels do. Is that clear?”
“Yes captain and that suits us.”
“Good, now try not to get in the way. My lads are a bit handy with their fists if you catch my drift.”
We headed north and the setting sun illuminated the coast of France. I had achieved the first part. We had left France. Now could we avoid two navies and a rough set of seas and make it back home? I suspected we were already being written off as dead by Colonel Selkirk. Would he have told the regiment? There was little point in worrying about that. We had this little bridge called the Channel to cross first.
We passed close to Montreuil. We could see little save the massive fires from the huge army which was camped there. We had not managed to get close to it but we had enough information from the other camp to be able to estimate the n
umbers. We had just begun to leave the French coast and head west when we hit trouble. As the sun disappeared over the horizon one of the lookouts spied what he thought was a sail to the north. It was barely a glimpse but Jean took no chances. We were standing close to him and he explained, “It might be nothing but we are not the fastest smuggler around. We are just the best and the luckiest. We will sail west for a few miles and then resume our course north.”
It was a more uncomfortable journey as we struck breakers head on. Trooper Sharp became a little green again. It was understandable. He had not sailed on such a small ship before. Even the ‘Black Prince’ had been twice the size of this little tub.
“I reckon we can head north again now.” The captain grinned at Sharp, “It might make life easier for the young man.”
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a small cannon ball ripped a hole in our lateen sail. The captain threw his helm over to try to out run this mystery ship. Surprisingly there was no second shot. Had we not the evidence of our eyes and the hole in the sail I would have said that we imagined it. We peered astern but the sea and the sky were melded into a large black hole.
A shape materialised out of the dark and a ship appeared; it was twice our size and moving much faster than we were. A voice told us, in French, to haul down our sails or risk being sunk. I saw the resignation as Jean gave the order and his shoulders drooped. “Well, my friends, it appears that my famous luck has finally run out. I am sorry. It looks like you will not be seeing England after all.”
We drifted to a bobbing halt. The ship came next to us and its deck was a good eight feet above ours. I struggled to see a flag but the masthead was obscured by the spars. When Lieutenant Teer leaned over and saw us, he burst out laughing.
“Well ‘pon my word. What a stroke of fortune this is. We thought we had lost you last night and here you are, large as life and twice as welcome. We’ll have you aboard in a jiffy.”
A couple of seamen jumped down to the deck and two ropes snaked down. They grinned at us. “Right sirs, if you would like to climb up these ropes.”