"Now there is a good question. Let's find out what happens when a pure soul such as yours is bound to an old demon soul. I'm sure the magic will play its fiddle on you both in the most amusing ways."
The tribal engravings seared into her skin itched, reminding Haven she was sealed to the one male she despised most, Desiderus, like invisible chains. He had saved her and now he created a fate that changed her entire life. He took her freedom, and she'd let him. The demon's lips quirked up in a smirk. Haven swallowed the urge to punch him, knocking the grin from his lovely face. Attracted to the demon, sure, but she hadn't anticipated being bound to the male in such a final matter. He owned her. They both did.
Chapter Eighteen
Desiderus grabbed Haven's hand, lightly. She felt the pull that would drag her away, to somewhere else. Desiderus's room, perhaps? She didn't ask. Her brain stumbled over everything her body had just gone through. Ba'al's words echoed in her head. What would the magic do? Would it hurt when or if it happened? When things began to form in her sight, she found herself back in the same room with the bird. Were they both trapped here forever?
"So what, I'm stuck in Hell?" Haven didn't turn to look at him. She couldn't, with all the feelings she knew would shine in the watering of her eyes.
"Not stuck here. You can leave. You should be able to leave like I do now, as you will be able to draw on my demon magic to accomplish things."
The words sunk into her. She could use his magic? "Would it hurt me?"
"I don't actually know. I've never been bound to a human like this before."
Haven spun around and her eyebrows shot up. He's never bound someone? The idea had never crossed her mind. It was his first time. She was his first. A thrill of pride danced through her heart. She stomped it where it started; pride was not what she should feel. She shouldn't be happy about it. Deep down, though, being his first anything set her apart. Maybe she could use it to her advantage somehow.
"Okay. I use your magic to get out of here. So how do I use it?"
"Ah, eager I see. But let me be honest with you. I'm a demon. My magic is dark magic. There's always a price that reflects on your soul when darker magics are used. Are you prepared for that?"
Haven licked her lips. Could she put her own soul—pure soul, Ba'al called it—in harm's way just to leave Hell? "How bad? I mean, will my soul no longer be pure as Ba'al said? What are the real risks to me?"
"Let me see if I can explain this. Sinning turns a pure soul. It morphs and changes what the person does and what they are capable of. The more a human sins, the darker colors it turns. Once it reaches a deep purple, its prime for demons to feast on. Black magics, like demon magic, marks your soul for something more. Using the magic isn't a sin, but it will have an effect. To what degree, I have no idea on a human or a pure soul. Again, I've never done this before. I've heard of demons in theory being bound to humans, but those humans were already tainted, already dark, full of sin, and the demon fed from it."
"So if I am going to use your magic, I will have to accept unknown consequences?"
"Do you know any pure-souled humans who have used black magic tied to a demon?"
Haven shook her head. "Okay. So if I want to use it, how…" Haven swallowed. "How would I use it?"
"You have to feel it, to know where you are going, unless you're summoned. As you know, being summoned is automatic." Desiderus sat on the bed by the bird. The creature shuffled its feathers, but stayed quiet. "You will be drawing off of me. So I will always feel it when you use my magic. If it helps, I don't know what it will do to me either."
Haven's head began to pound. There was just too much going on, too much to think about. She needed to simplify. To refocus on what needed to be done and less on the how it would get done. "I just need it simple." She said it mostly to herself to calm her nerves, and in part to the demon she was tied to.
"Think about it. Think about leaving, and think about the place you want to go, the smell, the look, everything you can, and it will happen."
"I need to finish work." Haven pointed at the bird. "Make it easy. Get the bird to work, go to bed, and deal with it all tomorrow." Saying the words out loud made what she needed to do, what she'd been through, seem more manageable. Attainable, even.
Desiderus pulled the L-sac off the floor and handed it to her. "I know it's a lot to take in. Go, I won't keep you here. The contract rules still apply–two days, Haven is the longest we can be apart without serious repercussions, mainly on you. I'm the contract holder so you pay the price if you go against it."
Haven took his words into consideration. Two days would work. He'd never bound a human so maybe if she did go longer it wouldn't be as bad as he made it sound. Especially since she had a pure soul. The rules might bend. He was letting her go, either way. She would be generally free of him for at least two days, and more if she could pull it off. Haven took the sac and put it over the bird. It squawked but rearranged itself to nest inside. She threw it over her shoulder. "Two days then. Let's find out how this works, demon."
"I have a name. I'd prefer you use it."
Haven glared at him and didn't bother with a reply. Instead, she let her mind slip to the DAIS building. She inhaled the scent of cleaning supplies. It always smelled like someone had just bleached everything everywhere. She pictured the cream-colored walls of the receiving area. She didn't want to show up like a demon in a place where everyone would see. The receiving area was a closed office where the front doors led. A company person flicks the light switch, even though the lights are always on, and a door slides open in the back of the office leading to the actual DAIS areas. They couldn't risk people just finding everything when they came in the building.
There were no windows in the office. A dark blue chair rested in the corner. A desk sat half way out in the room with a sign-in sheet and a pen attached by a chain. She swayed a little when her body fully came from the misting process. Finding her balance quickly, she walked over to the switch and flipped it. There was the sound of gears, then a grinding as the door in the back of the office slid open. A hand grabbed her shoulder and she jumped. Who was already here? Haven turned. Desiderus grinned.
"What the hell are you doing here, demon? If they find you, we are both screwed worse than a rat cornered by cats." Haven glared at Desiderus. How dare he show up at her place of work? She entertained the idea of calling him out in front of the rest of the DAIS, her boss even, and watch him be taken away. But the reality was, their bond turned that into a bad idea. If he was caught, and she with him, they would know. "Leave."
"I'd like to see this job of yours." Desiderus put his hands behind his back and walked toward the back door.
"No!" Haven hissed. "Do you know what will happen if they find you here? You are not an agent."
Desiderus chuckled. "Pet, I'm fairly certain they won't think you are an agent either."
"Seriously? Why's that?" She'd been working here since she was old enough to be recruited. Everyone at the company knew her on sight. She was one of four snares. Impossible not to know who she was.
"Haven perhaps you should adjust your hair. Maybe take it down?" Desiderus turned and his face sobered. He was serious.
Haven reached her hand up to check her hair. Something hard met her fingers on the side of her head. "What in the…" Her hand followed it as it curved. It had rough ridges and came back around her ear. No. No, no, no! Haven put the bird down and checked the other side, there was another one. Oh fuck, she had horns. She scanned the room, looking for a mirror of any kind. A silver metal pencil sharpener sat on the desk. Haven rushed over to it and put it up to her face. In the oblong view of herself, black horns spiraled from the side of her head, curving flat at first and then out more toward the back of her ear. Her eyes had turned to bright blue slits, kind of like cat eyes. "Desiderus...what...how?" She felt along one end of her horn.
"Perhaps it's our souls? Ba'al suggested the magic would be interesting. Mix that with whatever price you pay for using demon mag
ic and poof…you look like a demon. Kind of sexy, pet." He grinned. "Those horns give me a hard-on."
Haven spun around. The demon was right behind her. She slapped him as hard as she could. How dare he? "Undo it."
Desiderus's eyes narrowed. If the slap harmed him even a little, he didn't show it. The bastard.
"Haven, I can't."
"Well then what the hell use are you? Shit. I can't walk in there like this. I just wanted to have things normal for a bit, simple. Drop off a bird, go home, and sleep for eternity. Simple. Why? Why is this happening to me? I am a good person. I am. I'm not a demon. Desiderus…I'm not a demon." The words tumbled out of her mouth, fast and unfocused. She couldn't have horns. How would she face herself every day? She hated demons, she couldn't be one.
"Calm down. First, you are not a demon, but the magic has altered your appearance to look like one, almost like a cover. When I walk among humans, I glamour myself to look like a human to blend in. Perhaps the magic is working backwards on you. It can't turn you into a demon, though."
"How do I un...glamour?" She met his gaze. He didn't look as amused as she thought he might. There was more...was that concern in his eyes? She blinked and it passed. His calm demeanor returned, collected.
"Use the darker magic to unglamour. Let it drop."
What? Use more magic? She didn't think so. "You do it, demon. I'm not using the dark magic. I don't want something worse to happen."
Desiderus straightened. "All right, but I can't promise it will stay gone. I'll do it under one condition."
Of course he had conditions. It was always some kind of bargain with him. Though she really hadn't expected anything less. "What do you want?"
He smiled and put a soft hand on her cheek. "You will refer to me as Desiderus from here out. No more 'demon', or any other name. I want you to use my name. Just because I am a demon doesn't mean I like you constantly calling me one. We will be spending a significant amount of time around each other."
Haven opened her mouth and closed it again. He didn't like being called a demon even though he was one? She hadn't considered that it might... Haven cocked her head sideways ignoring his hand. It hurt his feelings. "You have feelings?"
Desiderus pursed his lips. "Of course I have feelings. Maybe not like humans, but they exist. You don't have many friends, do you, Haven?"
She stepped away from Desiderus and his hand dropped to his side. "My friendships are none of your business."
"I'm making it my business. Tell me about it as well as calling me by my name."
"Tell you about my nonexistence of friends? Are you crazy? What would that even matter?" Haven's heart beat against her chest. How could she explain why she didn't have friends to him? Let alone to herself.
"It matters to me."
Haven swallowed. "You aren't going to let it go? Nothing I can do to tempt you to not make me tell you?"
"Not even your soul, pet."
"Fine." Haven took a deep breath. She needed to just blurt it all out and then move on. "Because everyone dies on me." She quickly continued, "I'll call you by your name, Desiderus, but not just because you help me unglamour once. You must help me unglamour anytime I look like a demon again." Haven crossed her arms. The bird shuffled in the bag at her feet.
"Done." Desiderus smiled.
That was easy. "Now change me to human."
"I already did, Haven. When I touched your cheek. I also did you a favor and covered your binding marks." He nodded toward her wrists.
She hadn't even felt anything change. Her eyes widened and she looked again in the sharpener. Sure enough, she looked like herself again. Thank heavens. She had no idea what she would have done if DAIS had seen her with horns. Crap. That also meant she would have to rely on Desiderus to let her know when or if the glamour came back, since she hadn't felt the change to begin with.
"Thank...you." Haven turned back to Desiderus. He was gone. She took a deep breath. He was a menace and she was pretty sure he knew it. Why had he shown up to begin with? Did he know she would look like a demon? Did he feel something? How did this binding thing work for both of them anyway? He could still summon her as much as she could summon him, that she was sure of. But the rest...was it at all possible he could tell things about her? No. There is no way their bond could let him feel things, but not her. She hoped. Oh, God, what if he knew her true desire for him on top of everything else?
No. No, that wasn't possible. They were her feelings. The demon didn't say he showed up because of feeling something. He just followed her, probably because he could and maybe to torture her a bit. Desiderus had to have noticed her changed appearance when he misted right after her. She couldn't believe anything else. Haven refused to believe otherwise. When she finally managed to get home, she was going to go on a serious marshmallow binge.
Footsteps echoed beyond the door. Rich walked in. "Haven. There you are. Where's the bird?" His short dark hair was slicked back. She watched his neatly trimmed mustache as he spoke.
Haven pointed at the L-sac on the floor. Her boss smiled. "Good job. You look like hell. Go home and rest, and you can tell me about the adventures later." He straightened his bright blue tie and unwrapped the bird from the L-sac. Its wings stretched out and Haven suppressed a smile as the white creature cuddled into his stiff looking body.
"Thank you, sir." Relief filled her. Her job was intact and while she may not have the best circumstances at the moment, she knew without a doubt in her heart she would find her escape from Desiderus. Currently, she'd settle for a nice hot bath, soaking all her aches out. There had to be relief at some point or she might just break something. Plus, she had a brother to deal with. Home was such a nice-sounding word. Haven let out a deep breath. Finally, the day had ended. She let go of tomorrow. Haven could handle anything, as long as it was just for now.
Chapter Nineteen
While Haven worked, Desiderus escaped to Ba'al's chamber. He needed something to do with his time besides follow her around. The problem was he didn't want to do anything else, so diving into whatever his king needed next would keep him occupied. He hoped. It was just that her curves and smaller form made him want to tuck her in beneath him and protect her from witches… and from himself. Ba'al would not be a problem; since her brother's contract was void, he had no use for Haven. Desiderus tried to think of why the witch would mark her, but she didn't have anything she really needed from Haven that she couldn't get from someone else.
"Ah Desiderus. I take it your little human is off doing her thing?" Ba'al's cat face yawned at him before switching to the man.
Desiderus nodded. "So what is on my agenda for you next, my king?" Bowing wasn't exactly a demon thing, so none but the lowliest ever bowed. Ba'al found it too human a custom. Desiderus learned long ago Ba'al found humans to be beneath him.
"Right now I wish you to concentrate on your pet. Haven is her name, yes?" Ba'al's tongue slipped out to catch another fly. "I still want my succubus, and the fire within her will bring out a fine one for me."
Desiderus blinked, unsure he understood what his king was asking him to do. He knew Ba'al no longer held the contract for her brother, so trading the two of them became a moot point after he was forced to release Jeremy. "But you have no contract."
Ba'al's human eyebrow rose, and if his face could frown any further it would. "You have feelings for her. You...have...feelings...for a human!" He rose, growing bigger, from his chair.
"No, no my king, it's just–"
"It's just what, demon? If I say do it, you do it, contract or not."
"Of course, I will." Desiderus averted his gaze and clenched his fists behind his back. He'd let it slip. He should never have said anything but yes my king. Why had he said anything else? Because he wanted to protect Haven, keep her safely tucked beneath him. It didn't matter which way he turned, though: Haven would end up belonging to someone else, no matter how tightly he bound her to him or wanted to keep her under his protection. His heart dropped. In the end,
even Desiderus wasn't free.
"I know you will. See she must sin, Desiderus. I'm counting on you to make that happen. Darken her soul, make it ready to turn succubus." Ba'al moved back to his normal seating arrangement. "And if you don't help her get ready for me...my creatures below hell eagerly await your arrival."
There it was. The ultimatum. Ba'al saw through everything. Desiderus should have kept quiet. Now he would have no choice but to change Haven's untarnished soul to a sinner's soul. Most people sinned generally, but to truly change a soul dark she had to do things not even in her nature. Seven deadly sins and then some. Desiderus didn't question whether or not he could change her soul. It was more that the idea of it left a rip through his chest.
"There is only one cure for feelings for a human, Desiderus." Ba'al caught Desiderus's eyes and demanded with his own that he keep contact. "To extinguish them by changing her. Facing the inevitable. She is mine, despite your contract with her. Everything about you, and every other demon here, is mine. Including you. Never, never forget that." Ba'al's eyes turned a deep red.
Inside, the burning started in the back of his calves and danced its way along his flesh. Fire. Ba'al had caught him on fire with a mere look. Desiderus clenched his jaw, ignoring the pain, ignoring the desire to turn back and put it out. "I am your ever humble servant, my king. I have been at your side for many long years, always having your best interest at heart. You are my king. I will always belong to you, as well as anything I have in my possession at any given time. I will do as you wish." The words came out a little more strangled than Desiderus wanted, but he was on fire. His fists unclenched and he swallowed. As quickly as it came, a rush of coolness swept over him and the pain vanished.
"I knew I picked the right demon to stand beside me. Do not disappoint me Desiderus, as forgiveness doesn't exist in our world." Ba'al smiled.
Desiderus nodded, returning his king's smile. His mind returned to Haven and the purity of her soul, much like the bird, only less welcoming. Ba'al was right: these feelings were too human. Possibly a side effect of their original bond mixed with the actual binding. He'd never cared for a human before, so why had he started now? An image returned to him: her smile for him when the Celest had her. It had warmed him inside, made him feel...happy. He could have any female. Plenty of demonesses would fulfill his every desire. And yet the thought of being sexual with another...now repulsed him. This had to be some kind of magically-induced feeling. Demons didn't love. What he felt was not love. A powerful magic, the darker arts, or even binding the pure soul with his demon soul, all might very well be the source of his feelings. How had he not seen it coming?
Impure Bargains (Impure series Book 1) Page 14