by Rivka Spicer
“Are they always like this?” He whispered and Jen chuckled quietly.
“All the time. They’re like earth and fire – don’t mix but get along famously.”
They followed a winding path lit by braziers out across the estate towards the standing stones. There was a hum in the air as though Mother Nature was expecting something and Jen couldn’t help but feel a thrill of excitement.
“You heathen you!” Mark teased, feeling her shiver against his arm and knowing intuitively what it was for. Jen shrugged.
“You’ve got to admit this whole thing is totally ethereal.” She said, gesturing at the cloaked figures all around her in the gloaming and Mark stuck his tongue out at her.
“I’m a rugby player. I don’t use words like ethereal.”
“Oh shut up!” Jen laughed and they walked on in companionable silence.
When they arrived at the stone circle, Kim and Nkara had already entered, but there was someone waiting by the huge stone arch. Jen vaguely recognised her as one of the teachers and she stopped them with a gentle word.
“I’ve already been painted.” Mark said before she could get anywhere near him and she gave him an amused smile in the firelight.
“Shame…” She turned to Jen, her eyes considering a moment before she took out a brush and painted swirling designs on Jen’s cheek and forehead from a small pot of blue dye, murmuring blessings under her breath as she worked.
“Okay, you can do my face if you want.” Mark said when she was finished. “I like that look.” Both Jen and the other woman burst out laughing, and the teacher gestured him closer.
“You’re going to have to kneel.” She told him. “I can’t reach your face.” Chuckling, Mark got down on his knees so she could paint him and when she was finished he looked like a wild warrior. Jen wondered if she looked wild as well, but didn’t really have time to finish the thought as Mark rose and took her hand and they stepped through the arch into the party.
There was a huge bonfire right at the centre of the stone circle with smaller braziers around it. Jen carefully set her piece of pink paper into one of the braziers and watched the smoke curl up into the night sky, surprised to find herself silently praying that her wish would come true.
“Is that what we’re supposed to do with them?” Mark asked. “No-one told me.”
“That’s what Nkara said.” Jen explained and Mark shrugged.
“Whatever.” He did as she had and they stood looking to the sky for a moment. Finally all trace of the smoke had disappeared and Jen turned to grin at Mark.
“So are you going to show me those paintings now?” She teased darkly and he smiled at her.
“If you wish Cinderella.” He peeled the shirt off his huge frame and Jen gasped. He wasn’t kidding when he said they’d painted him. They’d covered every inch of his beautiful huge frame in swirling tribal designs. It was the most rawly sexual thing Jen had ever seen in her life and she didn’t realise her jaw was hanging open until Mark gently lifted her chin. It just appealed to something in her. Laughing at the effect he was having, Mark took her hand and led her closer to the bonfire.
“If you’re going to make me wander around shirtless, at least let me stand somewhere warm.” He joked and Jen giggled.
“Don’t ever put your shirt on again.” She ordered imperiously and Mark grinned.
“If that’s what it takes to make you happy.”
They talked for a few moments as the last few stragglers arrived and then Mara appeared, her dress a stunning cerulean blue that shone in the firelight. She spoke a few words to call everyone to hush and then began to cast the circle, calling to the four corners of the earth and the elements. Caught up in the magic and the mystery of it all, Jen quivered as she felt the energy around her change, the stone circle itself seeming to come alive in the night. Mark grinned down at her, enjoying the strangeness of it all and she smiled back at him wondering how they ever ended up somewhere so surreal.
Once circle was cast, Mara stepped back and some of the younger students came forward, splitting into two groups. One lot took up the ribbons on the maypole that had been erected at one edge of the circle and the others arranged themselves in a semi-circle a small distance away. Somewhere on the far side of the bonfire a drum struck up a beat and the girls in the semi-circle began to sing. It was an ancient song, a blessing of some sort that was discordant and atonal but strangely beautiful as a result. As they started singing, the girls around the maypole began to move, weaving in and around each other until they had wrapped the entire post in a gorgeous riot of colours. When the blessing ended, the whole gathering erupted into a riot of applause and the girls all blushed, nodding their thanks quickly before dispersing so that Mara could take centre stage again.
She called three couples forward and beamed at them all for a moment, warming the whole circle with the joy in her gaze. As Jen and Mark watched a small woman moved past them, pressing bundles of ribbons into their hands.
“What are these for?” Jen asked, looking round for Nkara and Mark shrugged.
“No idea. I’m sure they’ll tell us.” They turned back to listen to Mara speak.
“Tonight we are about to witness something beautiful.” She declared, her voice ringing out across the hushed gathering like bells in the twilight air. “These three couples are here to pledge their love to each other as man and wife, to live together in the blessings and bounty of the god and goddess. Love is an extraordinary and remarkable thing. It has built and destroyed empires, it has inspired epics and caused madness.” Here her gaze passed over Jen who shivered as the words hit home and Mark took her hand, squeezing it gently. “Love is one of the most powerful forces on this earth, but in truth it is not enough. Love may be the foundation a happy marriage is built upon but it cannot survive alone. To blossom, love needs communication and compromise.” She looked at each of the couples in turn. “You must speak to each other, be honest. Do not let the small hurts within you fester while you adjust to living together. A seed planted in the darkness will still grow and by the time it bursts out into the light it will have firm roots. Bring all things out into the light when they are the smallest of seedlings and you will find that they become bearable. Do not be all about the giving, or all about the taking. In discussing your thoughts and your feelings you may come to understand that another’s point of view is equally as worthy as your own and adapt to it in a way that benefits you both. You must respect each other. You have had long and not always happy childhoods and you have constructed personalities around them that will sometimes need a little space or privacy. Being in love does not mean you must drown yourself in another’s being entirely. Respect each other and yourselves as individuals. Finally, you must dream. Do not become stagnant in your desires. Do not crush your hopes for the future because you had not envisioned it with someone standing by your side. Instead learn to adapt, to have dreams that fit together. Choose a goal, choose a destination, choose a life ethic, choose life, choose to dream; because this life is far too precious and too short to turn your back on your dreams. Learn to share them instead.”
Words of wisdom spoken, she asked each of the couples in turn to speak their vows and tied their hands together with a special rope that a young woman behind passed her before inviting everyone to add their blessings to the unions. Everyone started to surge forward and Jen and Mark finally discovered what the ribbons were for. Each person tied a ribbon into the rope around the lovers’ wrists and gave them a small blessing for the future before moving onto the next couple. Mark and Jen waited in line and as they arrived at the first couple, Jen tied her ribbon in amongst the others and smiled, feeling a lump in her throat.
“Congratulations.” She whispered. “May love comfort you all the days of your life.” She wasn’t sure where that came from but the young woman getting married looked at her with warmth and joy shining out of every pore.
“Thank you.” She touched her hand briefly and Jen felt strangely comfor
ted as she moved on to the next couple.
When all the ribbons were tied, Jen and Mark moved back to stand by the fire and Mark again took Jen’s hand, holding it gently as they listened to the rest of the ceremony. Mara bade the couples step over a ritual broom, declaring to the assembled gathering that this was their first leap of faith together as a couple. There wasn’t much more after that and finally the couples all left together, the ritual gatekeeper allowing them out of the circle. There was applause and well-wishing for a few moments as they walked away and Mark took the opportunity to pull Jen into his arms for an embrace.
“That was beautiful.” She murmured and felt him move slightly as he nodded.
“It was. Certainly different to any wedding I’ve ever been to before!” He chuckled. “I always thought that when I got married I’d do it traditionally in a church but now I’d like to reconsider.” Jen didn’t answer him, lost in a dream of her own. One where she and Mark stood before Mara exchanging their vows as she symbolically tied their hands together with sacred ties. It was indeed a beautiful vision.
Neither of them remembered much of the party that night – it was a haze of dancing and drumming all mixed in with mead, smoke and fire and the feeling of being the most powerful force on earth. Jen didn’t even remember who had made the first move to leave or the trip back up to her room. All she could see was Mark’s painted face as he gently undressed her and lifted her atop the bed, drawing the drapes around them so that the flames of all the candles in the room played upon them, making them feel as though they were surrounded by fire. Jen felt as though they’d separated from the earth and were in their own little world of heat and flame. Mark looked fierce in the firelight; fierce and magnificent.
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He whispered, kissing her at last and Jen was lost all at once in overwhelming warmth.
Afterwards, as Mark slept, Jen watched the flickering shadows play across his golden skin, idly tracing the blue patterns across the ridges of his toned chest lost in the magical nature of it all. Just this once, she could believe that there was something out there; that nature was a divinely wonderful thing and that she was a part of it deep in her soul.
They made love twice again before dawn and the sunrise found them sitting side by side on the bed, weary but elated.
“What am I going to do?” Jen said softly, more to herself than to Mark, but he hugged her to him anyway.
“I’ll give you time.” He kissed her forehead. “Why don’t you come to the rugby with me on Saturday? I’ve got tickets to see the All-Blacks play England at Twickenham. All on your terms, I promise.” Jen smiled.
“I think I’d like that.” She didn’t have to go to dinner with Tom’s mother until Sunday so it fitted in perfectly. She kissed him again before realising they were going to have to hurry if they wanted to wash the paint off before breakfast and pulled him into her little bathroom where she ran him a bath and sponged off all the woad.
“You might as well get in.” He pointed out after a few moments. “I smudged all over you.” Easily lifting her as she laughed, he scooped her into the bath and gently scrubbed away all the bluish marks he could find. There were one or two stubborn ones that he washed and washed until he realised they were bruises. When Jen noticed his dismay, she smiled.
“Don’t be so silly.” She admonished. “You’re twelve times my size – it was bound to happen. They don’t hurt.” Kissing him again she got out and pulled the plug so the blue water could swirl away, carrying with it all evidence of their night together. As Jen watched it drain she felt very sad. She just wished she had some way of knowing how it was all going to work out. They dried each other slowly, savouring each bittersweet moment before their return to reality and it wasn’t until Mark was gently brushing her hair that she spoke again.
“What did you wish for?” She asked softly. “Last night, on the pink paper. What did you wish for?”
She saw him smiling in the mirror. “There’s no point in telling you.” He replied softly. “It already came true...”
Over breakfast they remained mostly silent, dreading being apart as it would mean the end of their magical night together and their entry back into reality was something neither wanted to contemplate. Jen was beginning to feel the first few twinges of guilt, although she knew it would be much worse when she saw Tom face to face, but she didn’t regret what she’d done. The hardest part was going to be walking away from whoever she didn’t choose and she couldn’t even begin to contemplate how she was going to make that decision. Someone was going to get hurt and deep in her soul the thought terrified her. She would move heaven and earth if it meant they could all escape unscathed, but it wasn’t going to happen.
As the last of the plates were cleared, Mark reached across the table and squeezed Jen’s hand.
“Don’t be upset.” He told her softly. “I’ll see you again on Saturday, remember?” Feeling tears welling, Jen forced a smile and nodded.
“Why did this have to happen now?” She blurted before she could help herself and the tears did come then. Mark sighed.
“Come with me.” Helping her up, he waved an apology to the others and hurried the weeping Jen out of the dining hall and back up to her room. “Look, I can’t explain how or why this has happened.” He began when they were on their own. “All I can tell you is that in the very short time I’ve known you, I’ve discovered a part of my soul I didn’t even know was missing. What happened last night was special, but it didn’t happen because of the circumstances. It happened because there’s something strong between us, like we’re magnets that nothing in the universe could hold apart. After the ball I couldn’t think of anything but you and then the dreams started and all I could think was how each woman reminded me of you. We’ve spent a day and a half together and I can tell you already that I love you. Doesn’t that mean something?” Jen didn’t know what to say. The closer their separation was looming, the more she realised the intensity of her feelings but the practical side of her didn’t understand how it was possible to love someone in such a short space of time.
“I just don’t understand!” She sobbed eventually. “How can I need you so much when I don’t even know you? And how do I make the decision when everything about you is an unknown? All I know is that I can’t bear to watch you walk away from me again knowing what I do now.”
“And what’s that?” Mark asked gently, aware that there was far more to this whole saga than she was telling. Jen had a split second to make the decision, but realised she’d known all along that one day he would find out. She pulled him back to lie on the bed so she could curl up in his strong arms where she felt safe to tell the story.
“The dreams we’ve been having aren’t actually dreams.” She told him. “The reason we feel like we’ve known each other forever is because we have. They’re memories Mark. Believe it or not, we’ve been meeting up for thousands of years.” She went on to explain the memories she had experienced and the things that Mara and Nkara had explained to her about the balance tilting dangerously. She shivered violently as she retold the terrible things that had happened to her in the past and why she was having a hard time facing up to the fact that it was happening all over again, especially since the outcome each time previously had been so disastrous.
“Well then it’s easy!” Mark announced lightly. “All you have to do is run away with me to New Zealand and the balance will be right so your soul will be complete next time around.”
“It’s not that easy!” Jen couldn’t believe he’d dismiss it so lightly. “How can I come to New Zealand? What about my business and my friends here, let alone my family? We don’t know anything about each other! It would break Tom’s heart and both our families would be furious. It would affect dad’s business on top of everything else. Love can’t make everything right and in my own way I love Tom too. I wouldn’t have agreed to marry him otherwise.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound the w
ay it did.” He apologised instantly. “I’m just having a hard time accepting this you know? I haven’t seen or experienced the things that you have.” Mark shrugged helplessly. “A few dreams and a feeling of love at first sight can be explained away by coincidence. I don’t know how to justify anything otherwise.”
“Come with me to Egypt.” Jen said before she could think twice about it. She’d had the idea to go herself the previous morning as she was listening to Kim, but this made sense. Short of asking Mara to regress Mark too, it was the only possible way that she could think of making him remember. “I’m going to ask Kim if I can come visit her at the dig in Luxor. Mark, I haven’t found it easy either. Sometimes I question my own sanity, but I have to know. I have to be sure before I think about making any decision that will change the rest of my life.”
“Does Tom know about this?” The question completely took Jennifer by surprise and she blinked.
“No. I only came here this weekend to find out.”
“How are you going to explain to him that you’re going on holiday with another man?” He softened his tone to take any sting out of the question, but guilt still reared its ugly head again and Jen swallowed.
“I won’t tell him. I’ll say I’m going to visit Kim.” Mark expelled a heavy breath, considering the offer.
“Why don’t you think about it?” Jen offered eventually. “Tell me on Saturday. I won’t be able to go for a few weeks anyway – things are crazy at the studio.”
“Okay. I’ll tell you on Saturday – I’ve got commitments too.” They lay in silence for a while and then Mark leaned down to kiss her. “I have to go soon.” He told her. “The bus leaves at half past and I have to have some more treatment. I can’t stay.” His hand traced lazy circles against her side as he held her close and Jen felt her hunger beginning to stir again.