by Al K. Line
Amanda pushed the dome against Dale's shoulder, shaking her head at his daft noise.
They jumped.
~~~
1 Year 3 Months Past
"Damn, that's us," said Dale. He pointed at a Dale and Amanda as they dug underneath the apple tree.
"Oh my god, how are we there doing that? What's going on?" Amanda felt strange, like she wasn't herself, almost like she was drifting, fading into some kind of nothingness where she could at least forget the madness going on all around her.
"No freaking way. You guys, this is nuts. We just traveled through time and now there are more of you. How come?"
"Ssh, they'll hear you. Be quiet, let me think." Amanda watched as a version of her and Dale seemed to be bickering, Dale holding a flashlight that wobbled like he was drunk. How could this be happening? They hadn't done their jump yet, so surely this was an impossibility? Then it hit her: they must have jumped to another reality, or, more precisely, back to their own reality, their own universe, the one they should have been in before their time travel exploits got everything mixed up. This was the them from their proper world, doing what they would have done themselves if they'd been there.
"Amanda?" Dale nudged her on the arm. The jolt brought her out of her thoughts.
"Eh? What?" It was hard to see, there wasn't much light from the moon and the streetlights didn't really cast their orange glow this far back into they garden. Amanda was just thankful that she'd jumped them to by the patio area rather than right up at the tree. Who knew what would have happened if they'd jumped right beside themselves, or even into themselves? She shuddered. It would have been the end of everything.
"We need to go. Are you okay, you look funny? Amanda?"
"I, er, I don't know, I feel odd." Amanda stared down at her hand. Was it the lack of light playing tricks on her or was she sort of turning a little translucent? She looked around in a panic. She heard a noise from the bushes in the border. She squinted. Was that another them? It was, there was another Dale and Amanda watching what the ones by the tree were doing. Would this madness never end?
"Amanda!" Dale grabbed the Hexad, adjusted the dials, quickly took her hand and said, "Grab her, Peter," and as soon as he did he slammed the dome, 2 flashing with blue light that shone right through Amanda, into Peter's chest.
Peter said, "Hey."
They jumped.
I See You
Present Day
"Is she okay?"
"I think so, but that was close."
"What happened? It was the other versions of you, wasn't it?"
"I guess. I think a paradox was building, like maybe she was far enough away from the other hers to not create one instantly, but it got more likely the longer we were all close enough to each other. Phew, that was intense."
"You're telling me, I could see right through her. But, Dale, we just jumped through time, I can't believe it!"
"Well, make the most of it."
"Huh?"
"The Hexad, look. It only has 1 jump left now. That's it, we can't do any more."
"What? Why not?"
"It's Hexad, as in hex, meaning six. That's all you get, and trust me, you don't want to jump if it flashes zero, it gets kind of messy."
"Okay, but you can recharge it, right? That can't be it, there are tons of things I want to do."
"Sorry, mate, that was it. Hey, is she coming around? Amanda, can you hear me?"
Amanda kept her eyes closed, listening to the voices of Dale and Peter as if she were far away, maybe under water and lying on the bottom of the ocean, their voices penetrating the depths, emotions stripped from the sound of them talking, just a noise, but somehow making sense.
That was her Dale talking, wasn't it? She was Amanda, she was real, she was alive. Amanda focused as hard as she could, concentrating on leaving the dark depths and floating up toward the surface and the light.
That's it, keep on going, break out into the air. You're alive, there's nothing be afraid of.
"Ugh!" Amanda sat bolt upright and looked around in a panic. She was in the living room, lying on the thick carpet, that new carpet smell still lingering. Dale and Peter were crouched next to her, peering at her with concern, both hinting at a smile as she rubbed at her hands, turning them over to check they were solid. "You know what? I. Hate. Time. Travel."
"Haha, it's great to have you back, honey. You had us scared there for a while."
Amanda clambered to her feet. Her head felt funny, light, like her mind could float up and be with the clouds. She put a hand onto Dale's shoulder as she began to wobble.
"Careful," warned Dale, as he stood and guided her over to the sofa. "Here, lie down, take it easy. That was some trick you played back there, honey."
"Yeah, a little transparent though," quipped Peter. Dale gave him the daggers. "Sorry, that was in bad taste. I'll put the kettle on."
The rain pattered against the glass. Amanda watched and noted again that the inside of the glass was all smudged. "I'm alive. I'm here aren't I? Whole?"
"Yes, honey, you're fine. Although I think it was a close call."
"God, my head's so weird, like I'm hardly even me, like I'm just a shell." Amanda slumped back. She could feel the sofa but that felt disconnected too, as if her nerves were sending the signals but her mind wasn't processing the sensations in quite the right way.
"You'll be fine. It was just a little too much to take. I don't know what the hell is going on, but that shouldn't have happened, should it? I mean, if we jumped in the future then we would have known that there was a version of us down by the house. And I'm sure I saw us in the border. Nuts."
"It's because we're in the wrong timeline, Dale, I told you this before. You feel it too, I know you do. Something's totally wrong. We should be there, where the other version of us came from. That was us, Dale, the real us. We're all mixed up."
"Hush, it's okay, don't get in a panic. Just relax. Ah, here's Peter."
Peter brought a steaming mug of coffee in from the kitchen, and he had his shoes on! Amanda stared at her own feet. So did she, Dale too. What about the carpet? She realized she didn't care — which confirmed she definitely wasn't herself. She watched as Peter slid a coaster toward the edge of the table and put her coffee down on it.
"Bloody hell, Peter, I didn't realize things were that bad." Amanda tried to smile but it felt more like she was grimacing. Dale began to laugh.
"What? What's the joke?" asked Peter, looking nonplussed.
"Nothing, mate," said Dale. "Did you make one for me too?"
"Yup, and for me. Be back in a jiffy." Peter headed to the kitchen, whistling like he usually did when he was helping himself to snacks from the fridge.
"So, what now?" asked Dale.
"Now?" asked Amanda, confused.
"Yeah, did we bury the tin or not? I mean, um, I know they did, but did we?"
"Dale, I have absolutely no idea. Right now I have to say I really don't care." Amanda sat up and slowly sipped at the coffee. The smell and the taste calmed her, brought her back to something familiar.
"Don't suppose it matters either way anyway," said Dale.
"What? Why?"
"Because we only have one jump left, so if we did it we'd never get back."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Oh, indeed."
"Fancy a HobNob?" asked Peter, as he held out a plate piled high with an assortment of sugar-laden snacks, crumbs already stuck to his beard — he clearly wasn't on his first one.
"Why not," said Dale.
"Yeah, why not?" Amanda grabbed one and dunked it into her coffee. "Bugger." She lifted out the HobNob, it had broken in two, half was still in the mug. "Perfect, just perfect. I can't even have a bloody HobNob without it all going wrong." Amanda began to cry. She felt like she was allowed to, and she wanted another biscuit too.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. Here." Dale handed Amanda the plate; she just sat there with it in her lap.
"Guys, I think this explains why you'v
e been acting so weird lately. Weirder than normal, anyway."
"What are you on about?" asked Dale. He sat down gently and put an arm around Amanda.
"I think you're caught in some kind of universe loop or something. Ah, yes, that explains a lot." Peter scratched at his beard, the rasping putting Amanda off her snack.
"Peter, please, what are you talking about?" This is going to make things worse, I know it is.
"Well, remember last month when we had that dry weekend and we had the barbecue even though we had to wrap up warm?"
Dale and Amanda stared at him blankly. Amanda assumed he was leading up to one of his bad jokes again.
"Hello? Anyone?"
"Oh, I thought it was a joke," said Dale. "What barbecue?"
"Aha, you don't remember, do you? I thought not. It seemed odd that when I spoke to you later in the week you said something about it being a shame it rained on the weekend so the barbecue was off, but then we got interrupted and I never managed to ask."
"Peter, if you are trying to be funny—"
"No, I'm not, honest. Look, it's happened loads of times. I thought it was you guys being right sods, messing around, but it makes sense now, total sense."
"What's happened? What are you talking about?" Amanda's voice rose to a shrill, she knew it, but she couldn't stop. Things were spiraling, she felt like she would fade to nothing again.
"Look, guys, I don't want to freak you out or anything, and to be honest I just thought it was you being a little odd. Not that there's anything wrong with that," Peter said hurriedly. "I know I'm not exactly 'Mr. Normal,' but sometimes it's like you don't remember conversations we've had, like it never happened, or that when I pop in you act as if you didn't see me the day before or we didn't meet up at some convention or other. It's weird, but now this explains it."
"What explains it?" Amanda had a bad feeling, and judging by the look on Dale's face he did too. "Dale, this is what we've been saying, it's why the pub is all wrong, why so many things aren't quite right."
"What about the pub? Doesn't matter." Peter grabbed a Wagon Wheel and ate it quickly. "Look, after doing that jump, man, I still can't believe we did it, but anyway, it explains a lot. I think you guys are fluctuating, jumping timelines without even knowing it, living sometimes here, then other times you are in a different universe, switching back and forth, missing time here and living it somewhere else."
"That's silly," said Dale. "We can't be in two places at once."
"I'm not so sure, Dale. It would explain things." Amanda thought back to all the little things that seemed out-of-whack. Things not where she thought she'd put them; the garden sometimes seeming different, like plants had been moved; the feeders not on their usual branch, even the squirrel sometimes looked a little different now she came to think of it. And now and then the furniture was in different places, just a fraction off.
Maybe it would even explain the missing food. Dale swore he wasn't taking things but often bits and pieces just seemed to be gone, and there had even been a few instances when they were sure they had a poltergeist, odd glasses or ornaments ending up smashed on the floor. Could this be the answer?
"Guys, I'm not saying you are in two places at the same time, I'm saying that maybe you are fluctuating between this reality and another one."
"Our right one. Our world where we should be. The stuff we did in the past that we don't remember, the saving the world business, it got resolved but we ended up in the wrong place. I bet sometimes it must shift back to us being where we should really be." It made sense to Amanda. Peter was right.
"But what about the other us? We can't be there if they are too," said Dale.
"Maybe they are just going about doing all that crazy jumping and saving the world you told me about," mused Peter. "Maybe when you're there you, um, the other you, is off in The Chamber, or running away from giants. Dunno." Peter shrugged his shoulders then popped another biscuit in his mouth while he thought.
"That's it, he's right, Dale. We need to get back to our proper timeline," said Amanda. She stood up, feeling a surge of adrenaline course through her body. She paced the room as she tried to think things through, get it straight in her head.
"I don't understand. We can't be there and here, we'd notice."
"I don't think so. You may find things slightly different, but if this reality is almost the same as the other one then how would you know?" Peter finished off the plate. "Any more?"
"Unless you've emptied the packet," said Amanda.
"Oh." Peter looked as though he'd heard the world was ending, not that he ate all the snacks.
"He's right, Dale, this is what's happening. We aren't living our lives how the Universe wants. We set the time travel problems right and jumped back, but we've got mixed up and are slightly off from where we should be, and it means that all kinds of stuff is going on that we are still doing, just not here, but there."
"Let's go to the pub," said Dale.
"Good idea," said Peter, popping his head around the kitchen door.
"A very good idea," said Amanda.
They got hammered.
Wozzy Wot Wot
Present Day
"Hey there, Wozzy, how you doing, dude?" Peter leaned forward, not bothering to get up, and scooped a small tortoiseshell cat up into his arms. It meowed loudly, bared its teeth and hissed at Peter. "Ah, Wozzy, why you have to do that every time?"
The cat dug claws that looked as sharp as needles into Peter's corduroys but he didn't seem to notice. He put the cat onto his lap and half squashed it with heavy-handed strokes from its head to the end of its tail. The next thing Amanda knew the cat was purring with delight, seemingly enjoying the fuss despite its protestations.
"What the hell is that cat doing in here?" shouted Amanda, head feeling a little sore from the booze of the night before. Still, it had been worth it, just to take away the empty feeling. Peter put a finger to his lips, mouthing a silent shush, nodding at the sleeping cat, now curled up and half hidden underneath his jumper.
He looked worse than she felt, and it was a real surprise to see him up and at the house so early. He was clearly too excited by the time travel experience to stay away from where there might be more action. "Don't you shush me, Peter, this is too much. The carpet's new. What if he poops all over it? It's bad enough you getting mud all over it yesterday. Luckily it dried and I could vacuum it, but cat poop is a different matter entirely." Amanda knew she was rambling a little, but after yesterday it was fair enough as far as she was concerned. With Peter turning up again she was just getting a little edgy, that was all.
"I think that's the least of your worries," said Peter.
Amanda got a sinking feeling, but knew she had to ask. "What do you mean? He hasn't done his business somewhere, has he?" Amanda looked around the room nervously, expecting to find something gross.
"I think you should probably take a look in the kitchen. I didn't clean it up, as, well, it's not my house."
Amanda looked at the pile of empty wrappers and the half-drunk mug of coffee on her Ercol coffee table. "Hmm, no, of course it isn't your house. Not that you'd ever know. How did you get in here anyway?" Amanda was sure the door was still locked from the previous evening.
Peter looked at her in confusion, then realized that it would all be new to her. "Same way I always do, same way Wozzy does. Through the kitchen window. You know that. Er, well, you know, the other you that is you. It is you, isn't it?"
"Don't even ask," said an exasperated Amanda.
"Hey, Peter," said Dale, shouting from the kitchen then poking his head around the door to the living room.
Amanda couldn't help smile, he had that same stupid look he always had after relieving himself. He looked so pleased with himself, like he'd done his bladder a massive favor and it owed him one in return.
Gosh, I do love him, sticking up hair and all.
"Hey, Dale," said Peter, stroking the cat.
"Is that a cat?" asked Dale. Amanda
and Peter just stared at him. "What? Well, yeah, I suppose I know it's a cat. But you know what I mean. What's it doing here? Did you get a cat, Peter?"
"Guys, it isn't my cat, it's yours. You've had him a couple of months now. He just turned up. Not that he's ever around for long before going off on some cool cat adventure."
"Huh?" was all Dale managed.
"I'd never have a cat, they're evil," said Amanda. For some reason a nightmare vision of thousands of cats staring at her in Venice popped into her head but she shook it off. Cats were evil, everyone knew that.
"He's lovely. Wow, this is so weird, guys. How can you stand this not knowing stuff you've already done? This is messing with my head and I'm not the one that can't remember."
"You get used to it," said Dale offhandedly.
"I don't," said Amanda. "How the hell did we agree to have a cat? Is it a kitten? He looks tiny."
Wozzy poked his head out of the bottom of Peter's jumper and gave a massive yawn. He seemed to decide that he'd acknowledge the presence of Amanda and Dale for the first time and before Amanda knew what was happening the cat was sauntering toward her across the precious carpet.
"Look at his balls!" exclaimed Dale. "They're so big he has to walk with a swagger. He looks like John Wayne. Wow!"
"To answer your question, Amanda, when you took him to the vet they said he was probably about three. Maybe just got lost and ended up here. You put up fliers but nobody claimed him, so he stayed."
"Ugh. Cats." Amanda slumped into a chair and Wozzy leaped up onto her lap and snagged his way up her blouse, leaving a trail of destruction behind him.
He nuzzled under her chin, lowered himself, seemingly pleased with his work, spun around three times on her lap then promptly fell asleep. "Nice moggy," said Amanda, patting the creature carefully for fear she might break him or he might rip her face off. He looked so small, but dangerous too. Amanda shifted a leg and pain shot up her thigh. "Ow, ow, ow. Damn!"
"Don't move when he's on you," warned Peter. "He doesn't like it."
Amanda kept still and said, "Dale, can you check for... um, anything in the kitchen."