“Girl, I know you are not ignoring my mama.”
“I spoke to her,” Raina whispered. “Probation,” she hastily added, conveying more with her eyes.
Jackie rolled hers and added a tsk for good measure.
Valarie closed the distance between them. “Are you all right?” Valarie asked, her prosecutor eyes homing in on Raina’s nervous behavior.
“Yes, ma’am,” Raina answered, without looking at her. She studied the merchandise hanging on the wall, as if deciding what to choose. “I’m back with my family.” Raina hoped the comment would help explain why she was acting looney tunes.
“Jackie told me they gave you another chance. That doesn’t earn them a medal from me.
You shouldn’t have been kicked out in the first place.”
The chaperone entered the aisle. “Raina . . .”
Raina stepped back, preparing to go around Jackie. “I’ve got to go.”
Valarie stepped in front of Raina, face-to-face with the older woman chaperone. “I’m Valarie McFadden,” she said, holding out her hand. “The mother who took care of this girl after she got tossed out in the street.”
Mary did not shake Valarie’s hand. She stepped back, motioned to Raina. “Come away from this darkness.”
Jackie whirled on her. “Are you talking about me? I’ve got your darkness right here.”
Raina stepped in front of her friend. “Jackie, she didn’t mean it like that.”
“She’s talking about our blackness. I know exactly what she means!”
“Have you forgotten? I’m Black, too!”
“No, but it looks like you did.”
“Raina!” Mary chided. “Not another word.”
Raina brushed by Jackie to join Mary and Roslyn, rapidly approaching the cashier.
“What?” Valarie called out after her. “You can’t have a conversation since you’re back with them now? You can’t talk with the people who kept your butt off the street in the dead of winter and made you welcome in our home?”
Raina looked back. Her expression was pleading.
Valarie seemed to make note of it. She changed her expression and tone. “Take care of yourself, Raina. Don’t lose yourself in that cult!”
The trio finished their purchases and returned to Mary’s car. Raina was shaken. Roslyn, quiet.
“I didn’t want to talk to them,” Raina cried, already imagining herself before another council, packing her bags and leaving Lucent Rising for good.
“I know,” Mary said. “I heard the exchange.” She reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a spritzer and a white votive candle.
“Let’s cleanse ourselves, girls,” she said quietly. “We don’t want to take the energy of outsiders back into our homes.”
Raina didn’t refute her and went through the motions. But inside her heart broke at Mary’s statement. When it came to the McFaddens and her, they’d been nothing but good. As she entered her home, Raina knew one thing for sure. Disconnecting from the unsanctioned, two of them her best friends for years, would prove to be a lot harder than Raina thought it would be. She knew something else. There was no way she could let what happened go unchecked. She’d seek out Jackie first thing tomorrow, and try to make it right.
* * *
She arrived at school early, hoping to catch them in the commons area in front of the library. It was one of the few places where she felt it less likely to run into a member. They usually congregated by the cafeteria on the other end of the school. Ten minutes before class, she saw them. They saw her, too, and kept walking up the hall. Raina made a quick check of the halls to spot church members. Seeing none close, she risked making amends.
“Jackie! Monica! Wait!”
She navigated through the crowded high school hallway, determined to catch them before they entered the main hallway where church members were more likely to be. She missed her friends. Mary had been straight-up rude. Her return to the Nation had left relationships strained. As determined as she was to get reilluminated and continue living with her family, she also wanted to apologize to Jackie, and try to explain her absence in friendship to them both. She sprinted in front of them, turned and blocked their progress, just before they turned the corner into the main hall.
“What’s up, sistahs?” she asked, trying to recapture the camaraderie. It didn’t take long for her to realize that the thrill had gone.
“We’re not your sisters,” Monica said, though there was a smile in her voice.
“Yeah, we’re not light enough,” Jackie teased.
“Come on, guys. You know I don’t feel that way. Jackie, I . . .”
“We know.”
“You do?”
Jackie nodded.
“You’re not still angry about yesterday?”
“I’m not, but Mama is pissed. She knows that what happened isn’t your fault, but for the next few, your little group would do well to stay away from her. That lady—”
“Was rude. I know. I’m sorry.” Raina looked from one to the other. “For everything.”
The halls continued to fill. She spotted a member on the other end heading their way.
“I’ve got to go,” she said, before darting off in the other direction.
It was just after lunch, in their algebra class, when Raina was able to speak with Jackie again. The teacher paired up the students by row to work on a complicated equation. Because the besties sat across from each other, they were chosen to work together.
“I tried calling,” Jackie said. She dragged her finger down the page of the textbook, as if discussing the problem.
“I’m on electronic lockdown,” Raina replied. “No cell phone, limited tablet time, all checked by Mom.”
“Damn, not having a phone must be torture. Hey! Why don’t you buy a burner?”
“That’s a thought but . . . no, probably shouldn’t. It would be just my luck for it to ring or fall out of my pocket or something. Hopefully I’ll get mine back soon.”
They began working on the math problem. “There’s a pay phone near the center,” Raina said. “I might be able to call you Saturday, while everyone’s busy with church activities.”
“You can try, but I might not be available when you call.”
“Why not?”
“KCK is in concert, don’t you remember?”
For all it had cost her, Raina had tried to forget everything about that unforgettable day. “I remember hearing that a concert was coming up. I didn’t realize it was this soon.”
“Yep, Saturday night. He’ll be performing with Sniper and giving the audience a sneak peek of the video we shot.”
“Ah, man.”
“If you feel bad about that, then you definitely don’t want to know about our backstage tickets.”
“Just shoot me, okay?”
Jackie’s laugh netted her an elbow in the side. “We can’t look like we’re having fun,” Raina hissed, and could barely keep from grinning. She’d never appreciated algebra so much in her life. “Will Shanghai be there?”
“They don’t know. She’s shooting a movie but wants to try and work it out so she can make an appearance. Don’t worry. The world premiere of the video will be on BHTV next month. You’ll get to see it then.”
Raina’s spirit dipped as she thought about the fun they’d had making the video and all she’d miss on Saturday night. Try as she might she couldn’t be like her mother and let go of regular life. It had only been a few days of freedom but the taste had been like ambrosia in her mouth. One of the Nation members looked over and frowned. Raina clammed up, her body language signaling Jackie that someone was watching. They focused on the equation until the member returned to her work. Raina relaxed, but casual chitchat was over.
“That’s so whacky,” Jackie said, wearing a frown of disgust.
“I’m sorry,” Raina said. “It’s the probation—”
“I don’t give a damn!” Jackie mumbled under her breath. “I know you’re doing this f
or your family and all. I understand that. I don’t want you to risk getting kicked out again. But I’m not going to sit here and pretend that it feels good to be treated like a second-class citizen, someone you have to sneak around to have a simple conversation with.”
“It breaks my heart. You and Monica are as much my sisters as Abby! Things will be different once I graduate high school and move to KC.”
“The Nation isn’t in Kansas City?”
“Yes, but with half a million people versus our town of four thousand, we’re harder to track.”
“All right, guys,” the teacher said. “Five minutes to wrap it up.”
Raina spoke quickly. “Speaking of, though, and I know it sucks, but can you do me a favor? If you see me out, especially with someone older, it’s probably a chaperone keeping tabs on me. Can you please not say anything, to them or to me? There are eagle eyes everywhere, waiting to see me mess up so that I can get obscured, or even ghosted, and get kicked out of the faith.”
“Might be one of the best things that could happen,” Jackie mumbled.
“No, it wouldn’t, because I’d also lose my family. They’d never speak to me again.”
Jackie shook her head again. “If it were anyone but you . . .”
“Oh, one more thing. Tell Bryce hi and that I miss him, okay?”
Jackie opened her mouth to say something, then simply nodded.
“What?” Raina asked.
“Never mind.”
“Jackie . . .”
“Don’t think Bryce is going to stay single. I told you from jump he’s a ladies’ man.”
“I don’t care. We were just friends anyway.”
They finished the equation and put their desks back in the row. Raina tried to focus on what the teacher was saying about absolute value, coordinate systems, factorial numbers and whatnot. But all she could think of was Bryce, and all of the girls who’d love to be with him, of the one or two or twelve who may be keeping company with him right now. The thought made her heart ache, no matter how she fought it. She told Jackie that Bryce was just a friend. In fact, he was her first true love, who most likely would become her first love lost, as well.
Chapter 15
Between school and Raina’s load of reillumination classes, February passed quickly. Abby would help her do dishes after dinner, then they’d retreat to their bedrooms just to hang out together, creating masterpieces in Raina’s young adult coloring books or putting together jigsaw puzzles, Abby’s favorite pastime. For the most part her shadow was her usual free-spirited self, but to Raina she was too tired too often for someone her age. A couple times her fever spiked and she’d been placed on the ILLUX machine. Whenever Raina asked, her mother told her not to worry about it. To repeat the healing mantra for her sister and to see her well. Raina wanted to see her go to a doctor’s office, maybe even emergency. But after the energy machine treatments, Abby rebounded. For Raina, that’s all that mattered.
In early March, Abby complained of chills and stomach pains and didn’t want dinner. Jennifer provided an herbal mixture and vitamin juice. After dinner, Raina checked on her little sister, who seemed warm, but was peacefully sleeping. She spent the next several hours cramming for a science test. Finals were looming and Raina worried that she was not prepared. She went to sleep with the SAT study guide for a pillow. The next morning she kept hitting the snooze button, waiting to hear the sound of Abby taking a shower. When the tandem bath remained quiet and there was not even a minute left to spare, Raina forced herself out of bed and stumbled into the shower. She turned on the water, then opened the door to Abby’s bedroom to rouse her.
“Abby! Get up, get your uniform ready. We’re going to be late.”
She jumped into the shower, spun around a couple times, brushed her teeth, and was out in five minutes. She wrapped herself in a towel, then padded barefoot into Abby’s room.
“Shadow,” she hissed, reverting to the nickname as she often did when calling out before thinking. “We’ve got to get moving!”
She continued to her sister’s bed, and gently shook her shoulders. “Abby, wake up.” She said it a little louder this time, with a little authoritative bass in her voice. “Quit playing,” she told the still prone figure. “I know you hear me. We don’t sleep that soundly. We’re leaving in ten minutes so if you want a ride, you’d better get up.”
She whirled around, heading toward the bathroom and her room on the other side. With one foot on the tile, she turned again. “Abby, seriously, come on.”
That’s when the stillness hit her. Had she seen Shadow move? One second passed, and then another. Her heart skipped a beat as past memories of Abby being “dim” rushed unbidden into her mind. Her eyes narrowed as she returned to Abby’s bedside, this time noting a thin sheen of sweat on her sister’s brow.
“Abby,” she said, shaking her sister harder this time. “Abby, wake up! Mother!”
She raced to the master suite. Ken had already left for his work at the center. She heard Jennifer in the shower. “Mother! I can’t wake Abby! I’m calling 9-1-1.”
“Raina!”
Raina didn’t hear Jennifer. She sprinted into her room and grabbed her cell phone from the charger.
“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”
“My sister! She—”
The phone was snatched from her hand.
“There is no emergency,” Jennifer said calmly, giving Raina an icy stare. “Sorry to have bothered you.”
“Ma’am.”
Jennifer ended the call on Raina’s phone. “What were you thinking?” she asked, tapping the face of her own phone.
“Abby’s not moving!”
“You’re on zero tolerance and better hope no one shows up here.”
Was she serious? Abby might be dead in the other room and her mother was worried about the Council? Her concern was for the church?
The call answered. “Good morning, you’ve reached Illumination. Step into the light!”
“Hello, it’s Moon Vessel Jennifer, the Grand Seer Reed’s wife. I need a head specialist, immediately. My daughter is . . . very dim.”
“She’s not breathing!” Raina yelled.
“It appears critical.” As the harsh seriousness of the situation sank in, Jennifer began to show emotion. “We need help.”
Raina took Jennifer’s phone. “Please send everyone available. The head specialist, herbalist, healers, whoever. They need to come to the Reed home . . . now!”
Raina’s authoritative tone spurred Jennifer into action. She raced back into her daughter’s room. “Abby! Abby, darling, wake up!”
And to Raina. “Call Ken.”
Raina called her stepfather as she watched Jennifer go into the bathroom and wet a towel with cold water. She raced to Abby’s bed and dabbed the sweat from her face. Raina felt suspended as if in a dream. The sound of incessant knocking followed by the ringing of the doorbell brought her back to the emergency at hand. She raced down the stairs and opened the door. Several members from the center were on the other side.
“She’s upstairs,” Raina said, turning around and heading to Abby’s room without looking back. They followed, reached the room, and told Raina and Jennifer to leave so that they could do their work.
“That’s my sister!” Raina yelled. “I’m not going anywhere!”
“Your best helping is elsewhere,” the head specialist responded. “Your sister needs healing mantras and positive vibrations. Bring in the sun. We’ll handle the healing.”
Raina felt Jennifer’s grip on her arm. “Come, Raina. Your sister needs light, not fear.”
She allowed her mother to lead them downstairs, to the rarely used formal living room. They’d just sat down and grabbed hands when the sound of sirens was heard in the distance. Jennifer’s eyes widened, then narrowed as she looked toward the sound, then at Raina, with condemnation in her eyes. The wailing slowed, then got louder. Closer and closer the noise continued, until it along with flashing lights
were directly outside their window.
Jennifer quickly rose from the couch and headed toward the door. She opened it just as Ken and another elder drove up. The ambulance had partially blocked the drive. Ken parked on the other side of the street and raced up to the front door.
“What are they doing here?” he demanded of Jennifer. “What’s going on?”
“The healers are here,” Jennifer said, just as one of them came up to join them.
“Who called the outsiders?” she asked.
Ken glowered at Raina.
“I couldn’t wake Abby and panicked. It just happened. I didn’t think—”
“You rarely do.” He turned to Jennifer. “Take care of our daughter. I’ll handle this.”
The EMTs had retrieved their equipment and were almost to the porch.
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” Ken said, blocking their path. “But your services are not needed here.”
“The operator tracked a cell phone call to this address,” one of the EMTs said. “A caller was frantic on the other line. Reported someone not breathing.”
“That was my daughter, who tends to be a bit dramatic. Her sister has been . . . challenged lately and was harder to awaken than usual. Everything’s fine, now.”
This said as one of the healers hurried down the stairs toward the kitchen.
“Who’s that?” the second EMT asked, trying to peer around Ken’s broad shoulders and through the wide-open front door.
“It’s the people taking care of our daughter. Now, if you’ll please get off of my property.”
A police car pulled up, followed by a second one right behind it. Raina watched her father’s subtle hand movements as he shielded the house.
“Can we see your daughter, sir, to make sure she’s all right? Check her vitals to close out our report?”
“I’ve given you what you need to complete the task. My daughter is fine.”
“But sir—”
A police officer came on the porch. “Don’t waste your breath,” he said to the technician, giving Ken a hard eye. “The Illumination doesn’t believe in seeking medical treatment. They’ll let someone die before getting them checked out.”
Saving Her Shadow Page 13