“You have legal custody of Shadow, correct?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Quite a bit of responsibility for someone so young, trying to go to college as I understand it, and having to work as well. Do you worry that all of this will become too much and you won’t be able to do everything?”
“A very wise woman that I know”—Raina paused and looked at Christine—“told me that I could pray or I could worry, but I shouldn’t do both. So I’m going to just keep moving forward and believe that everything will turn out all right.”
A determined individual pushed through the crowd. “It’s been a long and trying morning,” Valarie said, stepping in between the reporter and Raina. “That’s enough questions for now.”
“Valarie McFadden, the attorney, right?”
“Today, I’m just a friend of the family. If you’ll excuse us. We need to join Abby inside.”
Inside, the well-wishes continued. Raina looked around, shocked, at the fully furnished interior that was almost empty just days ago. The living room had been transformed and looked like a toy store with stuffed animals, flowers, and baskets containing fruits, nuts, cheeses, crackers, and a variety of meats taking up every available surface. The dining room table held a multitiered cake decorated with stars and unicorns and a beaming picture of Abby in the center. Cards of all shapes and sizes surrounded it. Beyond the table were the patio doors. Amid a profusion of balloons out there, too, and a smattering of people, Raina could see that rectangular tables set in a U-formation held stainless steel warmers, foil-covered dishes, and a large basket of single-serving bags of chips. Smoke curled up from a row of grills, and an aluminum tub held cold cans of soda and beer. Soon the crowd descended into the backyard and the party began in earnest. At one point, after going inside to retrieve her cell phone, she stopped at the patio door and observed all of the people she loved. Old friends, and new ones. People who’d fought for her and for Abby. The medical staff who’d stabilized Abby’s condition. Raina’s eyes teared up as she watched Christine playing cards with the women who’d helped bail her out of jail. Near them were Valarie and Bruce, and the guys from the rest of the Justice Bureau staff. Kris, the reporter, and surprisingly, Lucy Stone. Of course her besties, Jackie and Monica, with Larry and Monica’s new boyfriend, DeMarcus. Bryce was there, too. And . . .
“Shanice? Oh my God! What are you doing here?”
The producer who’d set up Raina’s appearance on Ella walked toward her with arms outstretched. “You didn’t think I’d miss this amazing moment did you, and a chance to meet Abby, the star of the show?”
“Not at all.” They hugged again before Raina walked her over to where Abby sat taking everything in, protected by Becky and one of the self-appointed security team making sure their charge wasn’t overwhelmed.
A cameraman followed, and then another. Raina almost stopped them but then remembered that Shanice was a producer for the nation’s number one talk show. Of course they’d want to film her meeting Abby. It would be great for the evening news.
“Shadow, this is Miss Shanice. She’s how I got on television to talk about you, a show called Ella.”
“Hi,” Abby said, shyly. “Thanks for helping my sister,” she added.
Shanice knelt to be eye level with Abby. “It was my pleasure. I’m so happy to meet you and see that you’re on the mend. Ella and all of the people who watch our show have been hoping for this moment. I’m sure they’d love to see you, too.”
Raina touched Shanice’s shoulder. “It’ll be a long time before Abby can travel. But we can shoot a video.”
Shanice stood, her eyes twinkling. “I think we can do better than that.”
Shanice turned and took a microphone from a young man Raina hadn’t noticed before. She also slowly realized that instead of chatting in their individual groups they were all gathered together, as if waiting for something. Raina looked at Jackie, who looked about to burst with excitement. Shanice was smiling broadly. What was going on?
“We have a little surprise for you, Raina,” Shanice said, “And your sister Abby, too. Ella couldn’t wait to meet Shadow and felt that her viewers probably felt the same so guess what. That’s happening right now. You’re on Ella, Raina.” Shanice motioned toward the cameraman standing a short distance away. “Wave hello!”
Raina was stunned, not believing what she’d just heard. “I’m . . .” She looked around her, at Shanice and back at the camera. “I’m on Ella, now?”
“Yep. Right this moment. Look over there, at the monitor.”
“Hi, Raina!” Ella said waving enthusiastically, along with the crowd.
“Oh my gosh, hello!” Raina became giddy with excitement as the reality began to sank in. She rushed over to wheel Abby to where she’d been standing. “Ella, this is my sister, Shadow.”
“Hey, Shadow! It’s good to see you, darling.”
Abby, overwhelmed and confused, simply stared from the monitor to Raina and back.
“Say hello, Shadow.”
“Hello.”
“There’s a lot of people who’ve been sending good wishes that you were getting better and would be reunited with your sister. She was so worried about you and determined to get you better. How does it feel being there with Raina?”
Abby beamed at her sister. “Good.”
“Hey, Raina.”
“Yes, Ella?”
“We know you’re in the middle of a big celebration, but I have one more surprise before letting you go. That living arrangement you think is temporary? It’s permanent, Raina, a gift from the show.”
“This house?” Raina was dumbfounded. “No. Way!”
“Yes way,” Ella said, laughing. “Job well done big sister. The house is yours.”
The live feed ended and the party began in earnest. Abby tuckered out early but Raina felt she could party all night. Almost every wish had been granted. Almost everyone she loved was in the backyard. The only one missing was . . .
“Raina.”
Raina froze before slowly turning around. She could have sworn she just heard . . .
“Mother!”
She squealed and ran into Jennifer’s arms. Abby heard the commotion and came running over. “Mother! Mother! You’re here!”
“I heard somebody was having a welcome home party,” Jennifer said, with glistening eyes. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“But, Mother. The church. You went back. I’m an outsider.”
“You’re also my daughter, and I love you. I was your mother before I was a member of the Illumination. There’s nothing light about my world if you’re not in it. That’s what I told the Council, and Ken.”
“What are they going to do?”
“I don’t know, but now is not the time to talk about it. There’s a backyard full of people that I want to meet.” Jennifer turned. “Starting with this lady. Hey, Bev.”
“Jennifer. About time you came to your senses.” The two ladies rocked back and forth as they enjoyed a bear hug.
“I’m still married, Bev, and still with the church. But I’m also here for my girls.”
“Good.” Bev came over and gave Jennifer a big hug. “I missed you, girl!”
“Me too.”
Bev grabbed Jennifer’s hand. “Come on. I want to see if you’ve still got it. Hey, Rodney! Put on some Mary J. Blige.”
It was hands down the best day in Raina’s life, one she couldn’t have dreamed of. Every aspect of her life was what she wanted. She was going to college. Abby was getting help and getting better. And her mother, Jennifer Reed, was outside on the patio working her groove to a family affair! Indeed, it was. Who knew? Maybe one day even stepdad Ken would come around. No doubt love was the fuel that helped Raina save her shadow. And most importantly, she was able to step outside an institution that was out of step with who she really was, and save herself.
A READING GROUP GUIDE
SAVING HER SHADOW
Lutishia Lovely
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ABOUT THIS GUIDE
The suggested questions are included to enhance your group’s reading of Lutishia Lovely’s Saving Her Shadow.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Raina’s life totally changed when her mother, Jennifer, met and married Ken Reed. How much of your lifestyle could you change, alter, give up in the name of love?
2. Do you know someone who belongs to a modern religion such as Scientology, Jehovah’s Witnesses or FLDS? Have you been to one of their services? If so, what did you think?
3. Raina used disobedience and deception to hang out with her friends and have a “normal” life. Do you believe her behavior was justified? Why or why not?
4. While most of us never disobeyed our parents, talk about that one time you went against them and did what you wanted. Did you get away with it? If not, what were the consequences?
5. If you have children, have they ever been defiant of the rules you’ve imposed? What were the consequences? Are you as strict with them as your parents were with you?
6. If you are a parent formerly raised in a strict religious environment, do you find yourself being more lenient with your child? Why or why not?
7. If going to the hospital or being treated by modern medicine went against your religion, would you comply?
8. If you identify with a religion, are there any rules or commandments that you oppose, feel are a bit too strict, or totally disagree with? Discuss.
9. What do you think of how Jennifer handled Abby’s initial not feeling well? Can you empathize with her position of trying to obey her husband and be true to the faith?
10. What about Valarie, Jackie, and Miss Christine, who were not illuminated yet treated Raina like family?
11. Raina took dire steps to gain help for her sister. What do you think about her actions? Would you ever take a relative to court? In what situation?
12. Abby’s parents took equally desperate measures to protect their daughter from a perceived injustice. What do you think about their decision(s)? Is there an instance when you’d help a loved one even if it meant going against other family members or breaking the law?
13. Social media played a large role in the outcome for Raina, Abby, and their family. Have you ever used the internet to bring attention to or settle a family matter? Would you? What do you think about how it was used here?
14. Love was a driving force in this story. Do you believe that love conquers all?
15. Throughout the story, Raina had to make hard choices between the life she’d been handed and the one she wanted. What similar choices have you had to make? Who was affected? Are you living out someone else’s expectations, or walking a path you’ve chosen? If not the latter . . . what are you waiting for?!?!
DON’T MISS
The Hearts We Burn by Briana Cole
Kimera Davis thought she was finally free, until her obsessed ex-husband ignited a spectacularly malicious deception that’s left her family, and her best friend, Adria, reeling . . .
Snapshot by Camryn King
An ambitious photojournalist. An uber-dedicated enforcer. And an explosive, high-profile scandal ignites Camryn King’s explosive new thriller . . .
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Turn the page for an excerpt from these thrilling novels . . .
Chapter 1
Adria
I never thought I would hate my husband. Well, maybe not hate, because that is such a strong word. Nevertheless, as I listened to his voicemail greeting message for the third time, I couldn’t help but feel a strong emotion superseding anger. That’s for damn sure.
I pulled the phone away from my ear without bothering to “leave a message for ya boi,” as Keon had so eloquently instructed in his greeting. I knew he was doing it on purpose, and that’s what was eating at me. He couldn’t feign ignorance with this appointment. I made sure of that. We hadn’t been speaking, but I had reminded him all week and even this morning before he left for work. So how convenient was it that his phone was off when his truck should’ve been parked in this deck right along with mine.
Three months. It had been three months since our lives had changed so drastically, three months of this bullshit, and time was doing nothing but driving us further and further apart. I rested my head on the back of the seat and glanced out at the traffic clogging the city streets of Atlanta. Somewhere, a horn blew, a siren wailed, and a slew of pedestrians hurried along the sidewalk through rush-hour congestion, probably to make it home to their families. I swallowed a wave of envy. If only life were still that simple for me. I was too busy dealing with my own losses, my husband included. Fact was, he was showing me he didn’t care, and I was slowly adopting those same sentiments.
The phone suddenly rang in my hand, which startled me. Sure enough, Keon’s number flashed across my screen. I quickly picked up.
“Where are you?”
“Damn, good afternoon to you too, wife.”
I rolled my eyes at the smart ass comment. “Keon, today is not the day. Where are you?” I knew what he was going to say before the words even filtered through the phone. Same shit I had heard for our last two sessions.
“I have to work late. Sorry.” His tone was anything but apologetic, which only heightened my anger. Maybe hate was the right word after all.
“Keon, I thought you said you would be available. That’s why we scheduled this appointment today for this time. Because you said it was convenient for you.”
“Why you acting like that, Dria? Therapy was your dumb-ass idea anyway.”
“My dumb-ass idea?”
“Yeah, you’re the one with whatever mental shit you got going on and I’m trying to work with you—”
“Boy, don’t act like you’re doing me any favors,” I yelled, not bothering to calm my tone. “You act like you’re not even in this marriage. Like none of this is important to you.”
“You tripping. All because I think therapy is bullshit?”
“No, you know what? This whole damn relationship is bullshit. Keep doing you Keon. And I’ll be sure to do me without you. See how that feels.” I hung up and immediately powered down my phone, cursing as my fingers trembled over the buttons. I knew I was arguing from another place because those words had felt completely empty. But as I shut my eyes and struggled to keep my blood from boiling over, regret began to ease its way into my subconscious. Not for the argument. Hell, that had become too common between us these past months. No, regret that I had walked down the aisle to give this man my heart again. Til’ death do us part, my ass.
Sighing, I slid weary eyes to the clock on the dash. 5:08, already well into my allotted grace period, so I needed to get inside if I still wanted to be seen today. I grabbed my purse and stepped out of the car.
I bundled my jacket tighter against the September chill as I made my way across the parking deck. The therapist’s office was in a high-rise in the hub of downtown Atlanta. But since it was adjoined to other doctors, realtors, and finance companies in the building, I certainly appreciated the discretion.
I stepped into the elevator and jabbed the button for the seventh floor, maybe a little too forcefully, as a sharp pain pierced my thumb. When the doors closed, I could only stare at my piss-poor reflection in the mirror finish.
I still carried baby weight, hadn’t bothered to try and get rid of it. Though I still looked the part, to my despair I was very much not pregnant. The realization had sadness extinguishing my anger and I touched my belly. Ghost flutters or something. My OB-GYN had told me it was common to still feel like my babies were kicking or rolling around in there. My head would want to feel there was still someone in there. My heart would need to feel it. But I was empty. In more ways than one.
The doors opened to reveal a narrow hallway with watercolor paintings flanking one side and floor-to-ceiling windows along the other. At the end of the hall, a door with the words, Waller Family Counseling etched in the glass automatically slid open to welcome me into the quaint lobby.
The receptionist looked up and smiled. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Davis,” she said, sliding the clipboard across the marble desk in my direction. “How are you today?”
I wondered if she really expected a truthful answer to that question. I’m sure it was automatic, but would she be surprised if I actually told her how I really felt one time? I feel like shit, thank you very much for asking. But my lips thinned into a polite smile as I scribbled my name on the sign-in sheet.
“Fine,” I said instead. No need to blurt out my frustrations to the poor little intern who made coffee and answered phones. Her little college courses probably hadn’t prepared her for an Adria Davis. I would do enough of that in just a moment.
Dr. Waller was a brown-skin sister who wore a short curly afro and not a stitch of makeup other than lip-gloss. I always thought she looked entirely too young for this job, like she needed to be taking notes in a black history university classroom instead of being burdened with the world’s problems on her shoulders. But she was kind and patient, which kept me booking session after session, even if it didn’t initially feel like I was getting better.
“Adria.” She hugged me as we stood in the doorway, a genuine embrace like best friends. I held on a moment longer, inhaling the nostalgia of that familiar feeling, before I let go.
“I’m sorry I’m late, Dr. Waller,” I said as she closed the door behind me.
“Evelyn,” she corrected.
I nodded. “Evelyn.”
Saving Her Shadow Page 24