Hades put a reassuring touch on the thin goddess’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Abstinence. It must be Hera. She has the energy to share.”
“Oh.” It all seemed to click for Abstinence, but Hera felt like she still had goat cheese for brains. She didn’t understand at all.
Hades sank to his haunches behind her and traced his fingers down her bare arm and Hera breathed deeply as those light touches sparked sensation through her body. She didn’t feel the least bit guilty about it either. Zeus was lucky she’d even bothered to show up after all he’d done to her.
He whispered in her ear. “Think about this afternoon. Remember what I said to you before we left?”
About licking her? She shuddered and wondered how perverse Hades really was. Until she saw that it wasn’t punishing Zeus or tormenting him, at least not obviously. In fact, his form had become more solid, fleshy. The more aroused she became, the more it healed her god-husband.
Hades kissed her neck and took the tender skin near her carotid between his teeth and this sent jolts of healing energy to Zeus. As Hades ran his hands down Hera’s sides to her hips, Zeus sprang to his feet and ripped Hera away from him.
“Thanks for your help, brother. But your work here is done.” Zeus snarled.
“No, Zeus. It’s not. I’m not your wife anymore.” Hera jerked away from him. It felt so good to say the words, to release the bonds that chained them together. Hera felt free.
“Are you his wife, then? You know you’ll never be as young or beautiful as Persephone. He will never love you the way he loved her.”
Hera had her arm drawn ready to slap him, but it fell useless to her side. She didn’t need him to tell her that she wasn’t Persephone. Hera knew that. She wasn’t an idiot. And now it was so obvious how his barb had stuck home because she had nothing to say.
Abstinence slapped him for her.
The undernourished goddess packed quite a punch. She knocked Zeus back a good two feet and he wobbled for a moment like he was going to fall. He braced himself on the fireplace and rubbed his jaw.
“What was that for?”
“Saying something that horrible to your wife who came here to help you when by all rights she should have let you rot,” Abstinence snapped. “Gods know I would have.”
“Saved me?” Zeus smirked.
“Left you here to think about what you’d done all of these years, you bastard. You know, I thought I saw a glimmer of redemption in you today, but I was mistaken,” Abstinence snarled.
From the look on his face, Zeus had been hit harder by her words than her fist.
Hades had been right; the irony of the situation was killing her. Only not how he’d thought. Their sexual energy had healed him. By cuckolding her husband, she’d done him a favor. But that wasn’t what caused her to mourn the irony of the situation. It was that Hera and Zeus’ hearts both were breaking now, but it was their lovers who’d done the breaking and not each other.
She was amazed at this change in Zeus at how one word from the goddess had caused him pain. He’d never been like that with her, even in the beginning.
“I think you owe your wife an explanation,” Hades said quietly.
“Fuck yourself,” Zeus snapped. “She’s not my wife anymore, remember?”
“Fine. I will tell her then. She deserves to know.”
“You only think that because she’s not yours.”
“Not mine? She was mine twelve different ways this afternoon, brother. She bears my mark; she’s vowed herself to me. No, I have her. She’s mine no matter what happens here.”
Zeus used his renewed strength to catch Hades in a choke hold and Hades didn’t fight him. He allowed the violence, but smiled coldly, as if it didn’t matter. “Choking me doesn’t change what happened. Nor does it change the fact she wasn’t going to come.”
The fire of his rage was extinguished and he released Hades. “What do you mean?”
Hera answered for herself. “After all that I’ve given up for you and how you’ve treated me, did you really expect me to drop what I was doing and run to see how I could serve my god-king?” she snarled.
“Yes, you’re my wife.” His face was twisted with anger.
“A fact you conveniently forget when you’re trying to fuck our new neighbor. Or all the countless others you’ve ridden. Even though you haven’t touched your willing wife in more centuries than I care to count. Your mighty thunderbolt is a bad porn joke, Zeus.”
“You never wanted sex, Hera.”
“Oh, I did. I wanted it, but with my husband and only my husband. Not the entire extended family of the Emperor of Rome at one sitting.”
“You said no, so I left you alone. What did you want from me?”
“Fidelity. Trust. Honor.”
“You sound like you’ve been reading Grail Romances. Wrong pantheon.”
“I know. I do know. Your brother is more worthy of your crown that you are.”
“Be careful what you say, Hera. If you try to take my crown, wife or no…” He let the threat hang.
Hera screamed. She screamed so loudly all the glass shattered and splashed out onto Ambrosia Lane like a waterfall. “It isn’t your crown! It never has been. It’s mine. Mine. Mine! Do you hear me?”
“Hera, everyone can hear you.” Hades put a steadying hand on her shoulder.
Zeus made a face like she’d kicked him in the sac, bit it wasn’t enough.
“It’s mine. I made you King of Gods and if I so choose I will unmake you and there is nothing, absolutely nothing you can do about it. You’ve frightened everyone else with that little stunt you pulled with Prometheus, but just try that with me and you will find out how great and terrible my wrath really is,” she seethed through her clenched teeth.
“Oh and what would you do with my crown?”
“Give it to Hades.” she shot back. “You’re lucky he didn’t want it.”
“You treacherous bitch.” He took a step toward her.
Hades was between them before Zeus could blink and a long, dark shadow filled the room. It billowed out from behind Hades in wings of darkness and sucked all of the light from the space. The Lord of the Underworld grew taller, broader and the blue flame that burned in his eyes spread; now crackling over his palms and up his forearms.
That living shadow wrapped itself around Hera and moved her further behind him. The voices of the damned lived in that breathing darkness and they whispered to her—a cacophony of suffering—but they touched her hair and her face softly and she recognized her lover in those caresses. His power was greater than anyone on Olympus. The crown of the gods was his by right. With a certainty, Hera realized it always had been.
She felt a rush of desire, not just because of the power he held, but for how he wielded it. That quiet confidence in himself, he didn’t need a crown to know who he was. He didn’t need to take something from another only to prove he could, not when he knew how much Zeus needed that crown to define himself.
Hera had another epiphany.
It was something she’d known was there, so she supposed maybe it wasn’t the lightning strike of an epiphany after all, but an acceptance of an irrefutable truth.
Hera loved Hades.
It wasn’t a silly godling infatuation, it wasn’t something that had sprouted in her fantasies because he’d made her come, she loved him for all of the things he was as a god; a male. For all of his darkness, his soul was a bright beacon and it was beautiful. It had made her want to be a better goddess. He’d changed her without trying, without wanting anything from her other than what she could give.
With that realization, she knew what she had to do. Hera had given him her heart—metaphorically speaking. Now, she was going to do it for real.
ABSTINENCE
When Hades released his power, Abstinence was reminded of every foul thing she’d feared lurked under the bed and watched her in the darkness. While he terrified her, she thought Hera was lucky to have a god such as Hades who treated her gent
ly and protected her as if she were the most valuable of jewels.
“I said get out of my way, brother. This is between me and my wife,” Zeus growled and thunderbolts gathered in a quiver strapped to his broad back.
Abstinence hated to admit it, but she was pretty sure Zeus would be the one who had his ass handed to him with a bow on it. Then there was the fact he was wrong. It occurred to her Zeus had always taken or been given everything he’d ever wanted with no one to gainsay him. Now, he was learning a hard lesson and he was acting like a spoiled child who’d been forced to give up a toy.
“Be that as it may, Zeus, I won’t allow you to hurt her,” Hades said evenly.
“She’s my wife.”
“No, not anymore.” Hades said gently.
“You’ll never love her. Does she know that?” Zeus spat.
“You don’t either.”
Zeus turned his rage on Hades. “She didn’t want you all those years ago. Neither did Persephone. Even after all of your gallantry. What makes you think Hera has any use for you besides your cock?”
For a moment, Hades and Hera both looked like they were about to shatter. Abstinence wished they could see each other’s faces. Nothing else would ever need to be said, but they couldn’t. Such a pity. Abstinence shook her head.
“What makes you think I want to be used for anything besides my cock?” Hades said in another measured tone. He seemed indifferent to everything but Hera.
Abstinence couldn’t let this go on. It was a feast of betrayal and rage, pain and suffering. They weren’t going to resolve anything. They were only going to twist the knives a little deeper, a little harder.
She grabbed his arm. “Stop it.”
He swatted her away lightly, but he didn’t know his own strength and it sent her reeling. “This doesn’t concern you.”
Abstinence quickly righted herself and for the first time, her power showed itself. A great warmth filled her and spread through her veins—a balm for her soul. She’d never felt strong before, but at this moment, Abstinence felt like she could tear down the walls of Olympus with her bare hands.
“You have had enough, King of the Gods. You’ve glutted yourself on your own fanfare and power until you can’t taste or feel anything else. Everyone has catered to your needs your entire existence and now it’s going to stop.”
“My crown—,”
“Is a one-hit wonder on a broken record. By all rights, it belongs to Hades. You’re lucky he doesn’t want it. It isn’t what defines you as a god. But you will learn. Abstinence is my gift to you, Zeus.” She reached out to brush her fingers across his brow with her meager blessing.
“You’ve murdered me,” he said in a monotone voice when her skin touched his.
Though, she had to wonder why he didn’t move away from her, try to avoid the benediction he thought would be his end. Some part of him wanted this lesson and that gave her hope.
“No, Zeus. You will live. You will only be able to feed on energy that’s freely given. No more taking, no more gluttony. No more ripped abs unless you work for them. You’ve never worked for anything you’ve had in all of your existence. How can you lead people if you don’t understand them?”
“They aren’t people, they’re gods.”
“They’re much more human than you’d like to think, Zeus. Even you. Right now, you embody selfishness and excess, but not pleasure. Why is that, do you think? Why is it you aren’t happy with what you’ve become?”
“Existence isn’t about being happy,” he countered grimly.
“It should be, Zeus.” Hera crept out from behind Hades. “Our existences are too long to spend them in misery.”
“Oh, now you’re the Oracle at Delphi? You’re selfish too.”
Hera nodded. “I never said I wasn’t, Zeus. I am selfish. Finally. After a forever of living to someone else’s standards, I am taking control and doing what I choose to do because it’s what I want. Not what I’m supposed to do.”
“You’ve all turned against me.” He sagged against the wall and sank to the floor. “Betrayed me.”
“Zeus, you betrayed them. Again and again.” Abstinence went to touch his arm in a gesture of comfort.
“Don’t touch me! After what you’ve done?” He jerked away from her.
Instead of letting herself be hurt, she eased down beside him. “Zeus, this is a prime example. A few hours ago, I almost died. You expected me to forgive you because you said you were sorry. Even when it seemed I would still have to go with Death. Why do you deserve forgiveness and trust, but I don’t?”
“I didn’t know. You did this to me wantonly.”
“Stop being a victim,” Hera snarled.
Abstinence held up her hand to stop her. “No, it’s alright. He believes himself to be a victim and that won’t change until he decides it will. I think I can handle it from here.” She was surprised to realize that she could and it showed in the tone of her voice.
“I think you can, little goddess.” Hades nodded his approval. “Come, Hera. Let’s celebrate your divorce.” He guided her out of the door, the shadow wings still splayed out behind him.
Abstinence turned her attention back to Zeus. “You can’t say you didn’t know because I told you. We’ve already been over this. You thought your needs were more important than anyone else’s and you didn’t care about the consequences. Now, you’ll have to learn your lessons like anyone else.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I know. Do you think I wanted to be Abstinence? Do you think I wanted to be alone with you when I knew you wanted to touch me and I wanted you to? Even knowing what it would mean for me?”
“You wanted me before I used my power on you?” He looked up at her, his sky blue eyes uncertain.
“Yes. I did. You were so witty and confident, sexy. I’d never been attracted to anyone before you.”
“Only because I was young. How I looked.”
She realized Zeus, for all of his gifts and glory, was insecure. “No, didn’t you feel me hold your hand while we waited for Hera to get here?”
“She’d never fed me so well from a touch. I didn’t even have to…” He buried his face in his hands. “It was Hades spurring that energy, the lust that fed me. I still hated seeing his hands and mouth on her. She’s mine.”
He seemed prime to learning things and she felt she owed it to Hera to try and make him see this now, while he was open. “Hades has never asked you for anything, has he? He’s never tried to take anything from you. And now your ex-wife—who still came to save your existence even after all the times you’ve betrayed her—she wants him. They give each other peace. Why can’t you let go of her, something you didn’t want, haven’t wanted in a long time, and let her be happy?” When he didn’t say anything she continued. “Hera has a great capacity to love. She’s very passionate. I think the betrayal that cut her the most wasn’t all of those you cheated on her with, but the fact you didn’t tell her why you did it. In the beginning, I know she loved you. If you would have told her, she would have tried to help you in any way she could. Even if it meant seeing you with another. You need to think about that.”
“Why do I always need to think about others? Who will think about me, if I don’t?” Zeus demanded.
“That’s the nature of leadership. You’ve fathered all of these gods and goddesses, but have you ever really been a father?”
“What do you know of it? You’ve abstained from everything your whole life so you wouldn’t have to sacrifice it later,” he growled.
Abstinence couldn’t deny he was right. “Nothing,” she admitted.
“Why did I let you do this? What is it about you I can’t resist?”
“I don’t know. You’d be the first who couldn’t.” Abstinence pulled him to his feet and led him to the bedroom. “You sleep here for a little while. You shouldn’t be alone.”
She knew this had been traumatic for him. Part of her screamed this had been traumatic for her too. What about her? Bu
t Abstinence knew she had coping tools whereas Zeus had never had to develop any. This was where the detachment of her mortal job came in handy. Who knew Olympus needed a resident psychiatrist?
Abstinence felt his pain as keenly as she felt her own. There was something broken about his perfection that had called to her and now she’d peeled away that pretty outer shell and found a rotted husk on the inside, but she could still see the beginnings of the god he could be.
This was a dangerous path. She knew that well. Abstinence had long warned clients against getting attached to a “fixer upper” type. People weren’t like old houses one could flip and get back all they’d invested or even make a profit.
Healthy relationships came from acceptance and honest feelings for whatever qualities the other person already had on the table—not expected winnings at Karmic poker. Even for all of his selfishness and faults, Abstinence couldn’t help but focus on the god he could be and feel a tender pity for the god he was.
He’d lost a lot today and she’d tried to change the way he viewed the world. That was never easy, even when one wanted to see things differently.
“You shouldn’t let me stay here, Abstinence.”
“Why not?” she asked as she tucked his golden head against her breast.
“I’ll hurt you when I’m stronger. I hate you.”
He wanted to hate her, she’d give him that one, but he didn’t. Some part of him knew he needed what she’d done. He’d lived his eternity as a child and it was time for him to be a man. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have tried to warn her away.
The analytical part of her brain wondered if maybe he would do to her as he had to Prometheus—chain her to a rock to have her heart ripped out every day, only to grow back every night and see it done again.
Her only hope against that sort of punishment was that Fate would see it as excess and Abstinence wasn’t permitted any excess of any kind. She looked down at him as he slept and smoothed his hair from his brow.
This had been a lesson for her too.
She’d never before seen the purpose of what she’d become; of Abstinence. This was what she could do that no one else could. Abstinence realized it wasn’t a punishment, neither was what her power could do.
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