She needed to break this awkward silence. “Would you like your coffee warmed?”
“Uh, yes, I guess so, thanks,” he replied.
She poured hot coffee and as she leaned on the table Benjamin reached out and put his hand over her free hand and said, softly, “Lucinda, just know that I love you more than life. I always will, God knows that.”
She wanted to yell at him, No, No. Don’t say that. I don’t want to know that! Instead she said in almost a whisper, “Thank you.”
She moved away from the table and hoped the tears would not return. Or the strong sexual feeling he had evoked in her. She tried to put all that aside as she went back to molasses cookie making.
And that night she cried herself to sleep but not before wondering how she could love two men at once. Not only did thoughts of James invade her dreams that night but so did Benjamin, and when she awakened the following morning to the sound of heavy rain hitting the glass panes of her bedroom window, Benjamin and the loud thunder of the day before immediately came to mind. And as she rolled over in bed, reluctant to face the new day, she said aloud, “Dammit Benjamin, you’re driving me crazy.”
And she wondered how “crazy” she would get before giving into her feelings for him.
Chapter Thirty-one: Saturday, the 19th Day of December 1863
Fort Esperanza, Matagorda Island
Well my dear Jane,
I suppose you think I have forgot to write to you or probably you may think I have forgotten you but you need not think so, for I have forgotten neither you nor forgotten to write to you. It has been a month or more since I have written you a letter and I will tell you the cause of it by and by. Well, Jane my love, I will let you know now how I am getting along in the way of health. I am fat and hardy as a buck and have been for the last two or three months. I have an idea I would weigh nigh on to two hundred. The boys are generally healthy. I trust these lines will find you all enjoying good health and pleasure.
I have received two letters from you and I will try and answer them now. I am sorry the babe burned herself and I am in hopes she is well by this time.
Well now Jane I must tell you something about our travels. Since we left Camp Berwick Bay, we were ordered to report at Algiers, opposite New Orleans. So we got aboard the cars at Berwick and ran to the above named place where we lay for a day or two and then embarked for the Rio Grand and when there we was ordered to report to Mustang Island. Two Maine regiments and the 19th and 20th Iowa and a part of the First Brigade was with us. We anchored at the mouth of the Rio Grand in sight of Mexico.
One night we would have gone to Brownsville had it not been so easily taken but our forces had possession of it before we got there. We embarked the 15th and landed the 21st. We got on the boat in the evening and ran down to the mouth of the river that night and anchored until morning. Then we struck out in the might deep waters. It was a very beautiful day, everything looked beautiful but in the evening behold a cloud appeared. I said to Downs, “Look at that cloud. We are a going to have a wind.” Downs thought not. But when morning came the wind was blowing and kept increasing and the night following it clouded up and it commenced raining and storming. Then we had a nice time only I was sick the first day. The wind blew and I vomited like a dog but the vomiting only lasted about a day and the vessel was pitching around considerably but the next two days was the worst. We had no place to stay, only out in the rain and storm. Some of the boys went down into the hole among the mules and horses. I was sick all the while on board and I could not stand it down there for I had to have fresh air. By this time the boat was rocking from side to side and then she would pitch into a wave as though she was mad and every now and then a wave was over the decks where we were and we were wet all the while.
One morning we were lying on deck and I was laying by a cannon and a wave run over the deck about three feet and washed the decks very nigh clean. It broke one of the cannons loose that I was by and smashed my fingers for me and washed me about ten feet in under another cannon where I caught. I was all under water and it washed a man in our company and barreled him down the hole but it did not hurt him. There were several men washed overboard but only one out of our regiment.
I get tired of such soldiering and I wish I was home with my Jane. A great many of the boys were scared and some would grunt whenever the boat would turn on her side and other ones would say, “Oh she can’t stand it much longer. We all will be drowned in the Gulf,” but I was not much frightened for I was so sick that I did not care very much. She would sink or swim. Sometimes she would be away on the waves so that a person would have to look way down to see the water and sometimes the waves would be like mountains above us and for all that, it was not what some storms can be on the Gulf. But I wasn’t a proud bird when I got on shore. The ground I walked on would rock as did the vessel. I would rather soldier by land than by water.
We landed on St. Joe Island and we marched to a bayou and then we crossed over on this Island (the name of which is Matagorda). We marched for two or three days and came to above named Fort, which was garrisoned by the Rebs and was between six and seven hundred strong.
The evening we got there it stormed and we had to lay inland of battle for a day or two and it got so cold that it froze ice an inch and a half thick. Our cannons were very small compared with theirs, which were like bulldogs. They would stand their ground and bark severely. The Rebs had eight guns in this fort—four 24 pounders and two 20 pounders and one 1.28 pounder—but they did not hurt any of our guns. Our regiment was about two miles from the fort as a reserve (being all the regiments of our brigade here) and we had a battery planted in front of us and a little to the right. Whenever the Rebs would fire their big gun at the battery, the balls would come bounding down toward our regiment but we had no man hurt in our own regiment. Our little army lost one man and nine wounded. Most of the men were hurt by the explosion of the magazines which the Rebs set fire to when they evacuated. We were a hundred and fifty yards of the fort when one exploded but no one was hurt at that time. The Rebs had a fort with one gun about two miles and a half from this place to cover their retreat. We got five or six prisoners. They say they lost but one man.
I understand that no more fighting is to be done in Texas for thirty days. The Governor wants to surrender the State and all the troops he enlisted. Our army has raised three regiments since they have been at Brownsville. The prisoners say one half of the people in Texas are Union men. They say we will not have to do much fighting in Texas. Our regiment is to garrison the fort. If we had not come here, we would have been sent to Tennessee. We was lucky dogs by being sent to Texas.
I understand that the division that Elias and Barty are in was in the last fight that Grant had. I now must tell you an anecdote that occurred between General Grant and Banks at Carrollton. When we was out on General Review Grant came down to see the 13th AC before he left and after review General Banks says to General Grant, “I don’t like those men of yours. They have not got style enough about them.”
Grant says, “Well, General, by God, if you do not like these men I will take them back. They were not drilled for style. They were drilled to fight and by God they will do it. They know how to fight.”
General Banks accepted the men and said nothing more about it.
From your husband Silas I. Storm to Elizabeth Jane Storm.
Chapter Thirty-two: Yankee Territory
Madeline Taylor had not known what to think or say when Lieutenant William Edson, who was escorting her and Sadie to the Confederate prison for spying for the Union, told them they were northward bound. Her instinct was maybe he had too much whiskey, as the young Reb soldier, Robert had. But she thought she knew it was not so. William had not appeared to be drinking much at all and seemed sober.
So maybe he was crazy then, she decided. No way could it be that he still loved her after what she had done. It had been his military information that she had Sadie take to her neighbor, Mrs. Montgomery so it co
uld reach the Union. So she was a traitor, and in that instant she decided maybe he was taking them somewhere to hang them or shoot them, execute them, for what they did to his Confederate army.
But as soon as he removed his Confederate shirt and replaced it with a plain flannel shirt, she began to think he did it to save her and Sadie from prison.
And within minutes he conveyed to her that there was no way he would let her go to prison. They were heading out of Confederate territory to a safe zone.
William told her, “I’m taking you home.”
She asked, “Where is home?”
“Your home, kiddo. Iowa. That’s where we’re going.”
He looked at Sadie, who seemed unbelieving of what was happening, probably more so than Madeline. He asked, “Sadie, you ever been to Iowa?”
“No sir,” she replied.
“Well, in a few days you’ll be there,” he told her.
The trip across West Virginia was rough in places, seemed they at times had to make their own trails through the forest and because food was running very low now, they hoped for towns that would offer them an opportunity for a decent meal and a bath. There had been streams along the way where they could freshen up and Madeline was thankful she had been allowed to pack a few of her clothes. Sadie had done the same. William was less fortunate. Although the weather was cold, they did have opportunity to use an occasional stream or river to wash out a few pieces of clothing and in time they would dry out, while being laid out on the floor of the wagon or draped across a rope Sadie had rigged up from one side of the wagon to the other.
And those same streams and rivers yielded a few trout for their dinners. William had rigged up a net using a petticoat Madeline had in her belongings. And a small campfire quickly cooked the fish. They had also found potatoes growing in a farm field and they dug up potatoes to eat raw like an apple or roasted them on the fire. They also found apple trees with an abundance of apples, and vines full of ripe berries.
One morning they left camp just after sunrise and from the east came three men on horse back. William immediately told Madeline and Sadie, “You two keep quiet and let me handle this. I want them to believe we are a family headed out of the area. So play dumb and don’t say anything at all if you can help it. Madeline, under the blanket roll is a pistol, just in case. See where it is? It’s loaded with six shots.”
She felt the blanket. “Yes, I see it.”
The men had increased their ride toward them and William thought it best to slow the wagon as they approached.
One of the men, wearing a worn Confederate jacket, open with a shirt under it, and a Confederate cap on his head, appeared to be the spokesman for the group as he moved his horse in closer as William pulled the wagon to a halt.
He said gruffly, “Hey, what you up to?”
“I’m taking the family out of here, sir. My wife’s not well.”
The men all looked at Madeline and Sadie.
“Where’s you from?” the gruff one asked.
“Down in the Valley.”
William focused on the guy who seemed to be in charge but he noticed the other two and the one astride the Morgan was familiar looking. And then William remembered. It was Carl Vallent, from West Point. Then he knew. These three were not Rebs, they were scouting for the Union cause, he was sure of that. He decided to stick his neck out. He said, “Carl, I’ll be damned, that is you under all those whiskers, isn’t it? How you been?”
The man shifted in his saddle and replied, “William, hot damn, I didn’t notice it was you. What you doing out here? I heard you joined up with the Rebs. That must have made your daddy mad.”
William laughed. “Nah, where’d you hear that? You know how rumors fly. I left West Point to head home to take care of dad and the farm. He’s not doing too good these days.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
William asked, “You guys part of Jessie’s team?”
Vallent looked at the other men and then replied, “You could say that. Been busy looking the area over. Not much happening, it seems.”
The lead man asked, “You come across any Rebs along your way?”
William told him, “Not a one.”
Vallent asked, “Where you headed?”
“Ohio. Hope to cross the line this afternoon,” William replied.
The leader turned his horse away as he said, “We’ll let you get on your way. Take care of your lady.”
Vallent gave a quick salute, “You take care William, you hear. Good seeing you.”
William returned the salute and said, “Stay safe Carl.”
All three men rode off and William moved the wagon on.
As soon as the men were out of earshot, Madeline asked, “Who’s Jessie?”
“Those three are Union soldiers and really sticking their necks out, trying to pass as Rebs. We call them Jessie’s Scouts. I heard they call the Union Scouts after General John Frémont’s wife, Jessie. You heard of her?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“She’d been in St. Louis with her husband and pretty involved in the war from what I hear. Doing things like getting medicine and nursing to Union soldiers injured in the war. Her daddy was Missouri Senator Benton who died a few years back.
These guys are probably under General Sheridan’s command in the Shenandoah Valley. I heard they were around. Sheridan’s scouts unit is getting a larger number all the time.”
“You mean they are spying and passing as Rebels while doing so.”
“Sure. That is until someone discovers them.” He laughed. “Like me.”
“Goodness, that’s a dangerous job.”
He laughed again. “I know two ladies right here with me who were doing the same thing—collecting information on the enemy for their Union General.”
She didn’t feel like laughing when she realized how crazy she had been to be a spy and to get Sadie involved the way she did. She glanced at Sadie but remained silent, and she knew her face was as serious as Sadie’s.
William looked at Madeline and said, “Any job in this damn war is dangerous, my love.”
Chapter Thirty-three: Wednesday, the 30th Day of December 1863
Fort Esperanza, Texas
Dear Companion,
This evening gives me the opportunity of writing a few lines which will be an answer to a letter just received from you. It came to me last evening and I felt rejoiced to think I had the pleasure of reading another letter that was written by you. I am fat and hearty as a buck and enjoying soldier’s life the best I know how, which is hard at best. I hope these few lines will find all of you enjoying good health. You write again that the health of the country is not very good. I am with sorrow to hear of such news. It keeps me uneasy all the time.
You wrote that there had been no deaths since you wrote last week. I have not got that letter yet so I am left in the dark. It appears as though some deaths have occurred in the neighborhood. I feel proud that Pa is doing so well and I know he has had some bad luck before coming to Iowa. It pleases me very much to hear of the folks doing well in Iowa. I would like to be at home with you and hear the cars whistle. If I have good luck and plenty of it, I can ride home on the cars and I hope that will be soon. And I think if nothing happens more serious than has for the last six months it will not be long. You hoot at this and think I am foolish for thinking so. Perhaps I am but I cannot see it at present. It is a great deal better for a person to live in hopes. If he dies in despair, if soldiers thought they would never get home then they would be the most miserable creatures on the face of the earth. You need not fret yourself about me whenever you hear of a battle. You should think of the approaching end of war, which most assuredly will come sooner or later. You should rejoice in place of mourning, for a troubled mind is hard on the constitution and will eventually bring on disease. So do not trouble yourself about me as I will do the best I can.
The prisoners say we will not have very much fighting to do in Texas. They say that there
is about six or eight thousand enlisted troops in Texas, the balance are all conscripts and the men came in to our line and gave themselves up. This Lieutenant was an enlisted man. He said the Rebs was about to conscript him so he enlisted with the determination of coming into our lines the first opportunity. This is the fact, for he says he knows of companies and their commanders waiting for the opportunity of stepping across the line. They said if the army of Texas knew what we was fighting for they would lay down their arms before they had the State invaded. The Rebels dread the Texans that will come into our lines more than they do us Yankees, as they call us.
Our men had a little skirmishing to do. Our men captured one or two Rebs the other day and sent them to the fort. The Rebs are fortifying against us on a narrow neck of land thinking they can keep us back by so doing but I rather think they will have to evacuate that place before many weeks or else they will have to whip us or surrender. I suppose from accounts we can land a force in the rear of them. Reports say that General Magruder is concentrating his forces at this place in order to drive us back.
Well Jane, I have to say goodnight now for it is after tattoo.
Jane, I will now write more to this letter. I received your other letter about what left me in the dark. You wrote it on December the 2nd. I am glad for the chance of reading old letters. It seems as though letters come very slow from you but I presume that is not your fault.
Well Janie, I will tell you the reason I did not finish your letter before this. I suppose you have heard considerable about these “Texas Northerners” I have got considerably acquainted with since I came here. The night I commenced this letter it was very warm so I stripped off pretty well to go to bed and a person could hardly sleep with clothes over them. It was warm until 11 o’clock. In the night the wind shifted to the north and it came with a tremendous blast and then it was cold enough to freeze a person immediately and it blew our tent to the ground, but we pulled it over us and we lay there until morning. And we got up to enjoy the pleasure of a disagreeable day and it blew that day and the next night and then ceased.
Corn Silk Days: Iowa, 1862 Page 21