I take a deep breath to try to keep from crying.
Reece’s eyes lock onto mine, and his jaw tightens.
After the burning in my throat eases, I turn my gaze to Jo. “How long will it take to get to the caves from here?”
Reece pushes for more. “Where are the caves?”
“On the east side of the city. Far enough away from the blast site, but drenched in enough radiation to keep a lot of people out.”
Pulling out his handheld tablet, Reece taps and swipes his screen then shows it to Jo. “Here’s a map of the area. Where do we need to go?”
Her eyes light up like my sister’s used to when my dad brought us home surprises after a business trip. Before my life went to hell after my accident. My life back home seems like a lifetime ago.
Jo’s expression suggests that she hasn’t seen many digital tablets, but she knows what it is. One more reason to keep an eye on her. She quickly buries her excitement then leans over to study the screen before she points. “Here. It’s north of the creek. There’s a bridge across, but it’s a toll bridge. There used to be a paved road there, but it fell apart so now it’s dirt. The bridge is in bad shape and almost impassable now.” She moves her finger. “Some people cross the creek farther to the east, where the bank is less steep, but you have a greater chance of getting ambushed. The questionable bridge is still the safest route.”
Reece nods.
“But you still have another issue. You can’t just drive up in a government truck. For one thing, they’ll shoot first and ask questions later. And then even if you survive, the men who attack you won’t let you keep the truck. You’ll need to park it somewhere and go in on foot.”
Reece shoots a quick glance to Evan, then looks away. Even if we can find a safe place to store the truck, how will we get Evan to the city?
I swallow my fear. “Is there any way we can hitch a ride with someone?”
Jo laughs. “I already told you that most people walk. Even if they have cars, ethanol is too expensive to travel very far.”
Reece squints his disbelief. “Why don’t they use solar power?”
“You really are stupid, aren’t you?” Jo shakes her head and laughs. “The technology, for one thing. We don’t have it. And even if we did, good luck finding the parts to build it. Sometimes people will steal things during the raids on Springfield, but it’s not much and not enough. Only the powerful have cars out here, and you don’t want to hitch a ride with them.”
“So we walk.” Defeat weighs down Reece’s words.
“We’ll figure out a way in.” Jo says, more hopeful than I expect from her. “We just have to stash the truck first.”
Reece passes out several government-issue pouches for dinner and I slurp something that reminds me of SpaghettiOs, and not in a good way. I make a pallet for Evan with our new stash of blankets and tuck him in, lying down next to him so I can monitor him through the night.
What little sleep I get comes in fits and starts. I hope Evan survives our trip to Deacon City.
Chapter Five
I’m awake first, pulling the blanket off Evan’s heat-ravaged body. He’s even worse than he was when we went to sleep last night.
Reece wakes up moments later and goes outside to go to the bathroom and check out the surroundings. When he returns, he announces we’re pulling out, and tells Jo that she’s riding up front with him. We exchange glances, knowing I’m sitting in the back with Evan. But before he leaves, he passes out our radiation tablets, giving one to Jo as well. There’s no doubt we’re about to head into a radiation-infested landscape, and we need to be protected.
I watch Evan closely to make sure he swallows his.
The truck bounces across the terrain, and I sit next to Evan, his back propped against the side of the truck, close to the exit. The flap is partially open so we can see outside. Evan, the scientist-observer, doesn’t want to miss a thing.
“I know the circumstances aren’t ideal.” Evan gives a half laugh that turns into a cough. “But I’ve always been curious about what it was like out here and how the survivalists live.”
“Just think,” I say, forcing cheerfulness into my voice. “Soon you’ll be able to see an underground city.”
He keeps his gaze on the landscape, but his shoulders slump, and he shakes his head. “Jules, I can’t go into the city.”
My heart lurches. “Of course, you’re going into the city.”
“No,” he whispers. “I’ll never make it to the caves, Julia.” His feverish hand grabs mine and squeezes. He turns to look at me, his cheeks flushed. “You might have to hike several miles on foot before you get to the bridge. I’ll only slow you down.”
My chest constricts with fear. “No. I refuse to leave you. We’ll make a stretcher or something and drag you, Evan.”
He turns his head to face me, his rosy cheeks make his eyes even bluer. “It’s okay. We’ll find a place for me to hide and watch the truck and you, Reece, and Jo can go into the city.”
“We’ll leave Jo with you to guard the truck.”
He shakes his head with a small smile. “You need Jo to get into the city. But keep an eye on her. I don’t trust her.”
“Neither do I.” I try to shrug off the suffocating weight of my growing dread. “I’ll send her with Reece and stay with you. The two of them can cover more ground without me. I’ll just complain about the cold.”
“That’s not true. How many days did you walk home from school in the cold before you let me give you a ride?” He lifts my hand, and his lips brush my knuckles. “I need you to go with Reece and keep an eye on Jo. She could go either way on this, and while I’m scared she’s going to double-cross us, I hope she does the right thing.”
“You need me, Evan.”
“I need you to be safe and sitting in radiation for days, even with the tablets, is unsafe.”
“Then we’ll get the antibiotics and leave.”
“Julia, we’re not going to Kansas City for antibiotics. We’re going to hide from the military.” He swallows and gives me a grim smile. “Maybe Reece can get information about how to get to his mother. It’s our best plan to get you home.”
Going home seems hopeless, but the thought of life without Evan is unbearable. Not only does he need me, but I need him. A lump burns in my throat, and I square my shoulders. “That may be why you and Reece are going there, but I’m going to get you antibiotics. We’ll get the medicine, trade some of this stuff for supplies, then hole up somewhere until we think we’ve lost the flyovers.”
Evan closes his eyes, and I’m not sure if he’s considering my suggestion or if my persistence is making him weary.
“You’re a stubborn thing.”
I grin and sniff back my tears. “You have no idea.” Our hands are still linked, and I pull his onto my lap. My head feels fuzzy, and I lean my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. “Remember the time we had the math bee in fifth grade, and Molly Pritchard accused me of cheating? The teacher believed Molly until you offered her proof that I hadn’t.”
Evan’s breath hitches. “Julia…that’s not your memory.”
The fuzziness remains, and I give my head a shake to try to clear it. “What are you talking about? It’s in my mind, plain as day.” But even as I say the words, I know the memory is all wrong. I don’t know a Molly Pritchard, and I barely knew this Evan when I was in fifth grade. And there’s no way the Evan of my world would have come to my defense. The fuzziness fades, but confusion rushes in to take its place.
His hand squeezes mine. “It’s the other Julia’s memory. Not yours.”
I freeze for several seconds. “But it’s there in my head. How is it there?” But it’s not the first time I’ve experienced her memories. All the dreams I had back in my world were what happened to her in this world. But when I sort through the occurrences, I realize when her memories began to fill my waking moments. It started after I blacked out in the car with this world’s Monica, when I remembered Julia’s
accident and death. Then the night Evan and Reece took me to the road to send me back to my world, I remembered why this Reece called me Newbie. Now this incident. Both recent memories slipped in so seamlessly I had no indication they weren’t my own. A new terror fills me. I’m losing my mind. “What’s happening, Evan?”
“I don’t know, but let me know if you have any other memory slips, okay?” I hear the worry in his voice, along with weariness.
I nod, frustrated. We have enough to worry about without any more drama from me.
Evan dozes for a bit, and the cold begins to seep through the blankets we’re sitting on from the metal beneath us. I snuggle next to him and take advantage of the heat steaming off his body. I’m not sure I can walk away from him when we find a place to hide the truck. He would never walk away from me. How can he expect me to behave differently?
My eyes open. I tense, realizing the truck has stopped. We’ve either stopped because there’s some lurking danger or we’re close to Kansas City. Either option is undesirable at the moment.
Reece’s face appears in the gap in the back, and his eyes are wide. “I think you guys should see this.” He knows how sick Evan is, so my mind wanders through half a dozen disasters waiting for us that could be bad enough to justify Evan leaving the truck.
Evan scoots over to the side, and Reece helps him slide out. I jump down and put my shoulder under Evan’s arm. Reece and I half carry him around to the front. We’re parked at the top of a hill, and Jo leans against the truck, the hood of her thick wool coat low over her face as she looks at the view.
Evan’s feet stop, and I gasp as I see the city below us. Or what’s left of the city. A large crater mars the ground to the left, gaping and empty and around it is…nothing. The ground is completely bare for what looks like miles. And then there are houses and buildings, but only parts of them. This destruction isn’t from the ravages of time. This is the devastation of a tremendous force.
The partially destroyed structures extend for some distance before they begin to look more intact. But those are worn and weather-beaten. An entire city was blown away, and this is all that is left.
We all stand in silence, overwhelmed by the loss. To know about the devastation is one thing, but to see it in person makes it all so real.
“Are we going to stand here all day or are we going to get going?” Jo pushes away from the truck and turns up her nose in disgust. “You pampered hothouse region babies are upset about a scene from fifty years ago? You haven’t seen anything yet. You better prepare yourselves.” She spins toward the truck cab.
Anger rumbles in my chest. “Excuse me if the evidence of a city’s annihilation upsets me. Forgive my compassion.”
She spins back, clenching her hands at her sides. “Compassion? You think you have the market on compassion?” Pointing her finger at my chest, she advances with a murderous look on her face. “What the hell do you know about compassion?”
Reece ducks from beneath Evan’s arm and steps in front of her. She looks around his arm at me, her hatred palpable. “Yeah, pretty girl. Get your boyfriend to fight your battle for you while he can because you won’t last two days out here.” She sneers at Evan. “Although from the way you’re looking, you’ll be the first to go.”
My fury is blinding. “Reece, step away from her,” I say in a low voice. “If she has something to say to me, let her say it.”
“It’s not what she’s got to say that I’m worried about.”
I lift my chin and narrow my gaze. “She won’t hurt me.”
One corner of her mouth lifts into an ugly smile. “Don’t be so sure about that, Chipper.”
True, her words and her demeanor suggest she’s not making an idle threat, but I see the spark of fear in her eyes. Fear and envy. She wishes she could have been spared whatever it is she thinks we’ve been spared.
“You’re right, Jo. I’ve led a sheltered life. More sheltered than you can even imagine. And I’m sorry for the things you’ve seen and been forced to go through.” My eyes linger on the purple bruises on her cheek and some of my anger evaporates. “But the fact is we’re out here, the same as you, and we can’t go back. If you don’t want to help us, then go. No hard feelings. Take off, and we’ll even give you some of the pouches to take for trade.”
“Hey! No, we won’t,” Reece shouts.
“Reece,” Evan mumbles.
I glance over my shoulder. “No, Reece. She helped us escape. We’ll give her a share.”
“We freed her. We don’t owe her anything.”
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I convinced you to free her. She helped us escape.”
Reece curses under his breath. “Do whatever the hell you want, I know you’re going to do it anyway, no matter what I say.” He starts to walk to the edge of the hill, then turns back to me. “You’re nothing like her, you know. Our Julia.” He spits out the last part as though it’s an insult before he stares out into the landscape, putting his hands on his hips in disgust.
A momentary pain cinches around my heart and squeezes before I release a breath and blow it away. I wonder what Reece would say if he knew her memories are creeping into mine.
But I don’t want to be their Julia, and I’ve insisted on that since I realized they wanted me to be her. Expected me to be her. If Reece can’t accept that I’m not her, it’s better I know that now.
“What does he mean?” Jo asks as her brow furrows in confusion. “How are you not their Julia?”
I release a heavy sigh. “It’s a long story, and it’s not important. What we need to focus on is whether you’re staying to help us or not. If you want to go, take your share and go. We’re done begging for your help. If you want to stay, I think we can benefit you too, but you have to give us a chance, and quit treating us like we put you in this situation.”
The hatred rolling off her is so strong it’s choking, and for a few seconds I wonder if I pegged her wrong. If she might hurt me after all. But she growls and spins around.
I cast a worried look at Evan, who I’ve abandoned to lean against the truck. He looks wobbly and has no business standing outside. But his stance only proves he can’t walk into Deacon City with us. And my heart plummets. What am I going to do?
With a slow scan of the four of us, I realize we’ll never survive as divided as we are. If we don’t stand together, we’ll surely fall.
Jo turns back to me, determination hardening her face. “Fine.”
I suspect I know what she’s saying, but want clarification. “Fine what?”
She rolls her eyes in disgust. “Fine. I’ll stay with you until you get to Colorado, and then you can drop me off so I can find my brother.”
Reece jerks around. “We are not driving around Colorado looking for her brother.”
Anger flashes in her eyes. “No one asked you to.”
“Good. As long as we have that clear.” Of the three of us, Reece is the only one who actually planned to come out here, so we’re following his agenda. I have my doubts that his mother is alive, or I did until I found out there’s a community in a cave tucked in an abandoned city that’s leaking radiation. Now I’m not sure about anything.
Jo curls up her lip at Reece. “Trust me, cowboy, I don’t want to spend any more time with you than necessary.”
“Okay,” I intervene before Reece says something stupid to make her change her mind. “So you’ll stay with us until Colorado, and we’ll drop you off as close as possible to where you think your brother is. And when you leave, we’ll still give you your share of the supplies.”
Her eyebrows rise in surprise. It seems fair to me, even if Reece thinks otherwise. Evan hasn’t argued with me, but I can’t be sure if it’s because he agrees or because he’s too exhausted to speak.
She nods her assent, then points to the houses that look partially blown away. “That’s where we need to go. We can hide the truck there and have lesser risk of it being discovered. Most people don’t have radiation meds and won’t
risk going into Section Two.”
“Section Two?”
“The blast area is known as Section One. The bordering area with some houses, but with massive radiation amounts is Section Two. Section Three is the houses that mostly survived the blast and have a lower level of radiation. Still not safe for long-term exposure, but scavengers will risk it in the areas that are not already picked over. Most scavengers know Section Two isn’t safe and even if they wanted to scavenge it, there wouldn’t be much that survived worth taking.”
Reece looks over his shoulder with a sneer. “How do you know all of this? I thought you were here when you were a kid.”
Jo pierces Reece with a deadly gaze. “You’re right. I was a kid, but some lessons are so important you don’t forget them. No matter how young you are.”
“You’re a scavenger.” Reece’s tone is full of disgust.
She squares her shoulders in pride and defiance. “I live in a land that doesn’t grow food and where there’s little surface water to drink. Where civilization has all but died, and the civilization that does exist doesn’t want anything to do with me or people like me. Just because I was born on the wrong side of the city border. You try finding a way to live in those conditions and do it in your self-righteous way, and then you come back and face me. See if you can still look at me with contempt. But until that day, you do not get to judge me.”
I lift my hands. “You’re right.” I glare at Reece. “She’s right. No, your life in Springfield hasn’t been perfect, but it’s been better than what Jo has gone through. So don’t judge her.”
Reece shakes his head. “You’re one to talk. You’ve had it better than any of us here.”
A low rumble comes from Evan’s throat. “Reece.”
I throw my hands up in the air. “You know what, Reece? You’re right, but there’s nothing I can do about that either. But here we are. Me from my world and you from yours. We need to figure out how to make it out here. Otherwise, you’ll never find your mother.”
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