by G. K. DeRosa
An island where the immortals’ reign of destruction hadn’t reached? That would’ve been incredible. But I couldn’t be with Declan right now. Not if I had any hope of sorting out my feelings.
“I need space from you.”
Declan’s expression fell. It looked like a puppeteer had cut off all the strings holding him up. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “What are you going to do? Stay here?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I need to talk to Asher. I just found him and—”
“Asher’s not the same person he was before.”
“How do you know that? You said you’re the same. Why wouldn’t he be?”
Declan frowned and ran his hand over his face. “It’s different.”
“Why?”
“Asher doesn’t have a soul!”
The words were like a slap in the face. I reeled back, the sting of an invisible hand reddening my cheeks. Unshed tears burned my eyes, and any moment now the dam of emotions I’d been holding in would burst. I didn’t want to be near Declan when they did. I knew what would happen if I were, and I couldn’t let it.
I ran. Darting up the escalator, I raced down the hallway till I reached the elevator. Jabbing my finger at the call button, I hoped I remembered our hotel room number when I got to our floor because at the moment my mind was blank.
The silver doors slid open, and Asher appeared. My breath caught in my throat. Emerald eyes met mine, and a sob wracked my chest. I took a step, my vision already blurring and Ash pulled me into his arms.
He may not have smelled the same, but the feel of his strong arms around me was safe and familiar. The floodgates erupted, and a years’ worth of tears streamed down.
Asher held me on the elevator floor, remaining perfectly still for what felt like hours. When I finally shed the last tear, I pulled back tilting my head up to meet his gaze. “Okay, I think I’m done now.”
“Good.” He released me only to press the button for the tenth floor. Not the level my room was on. “We need to talk.”
I nodded, noticing an edge to his voice. Looking at Ash, it was so easy to believe he was my best friend from childhood—the one who’d taught me to climb a tree, ride a bike, and always protected me.
But was he?
Chapter 16
Asher led me down the quiet hallway, our footsteps vanishing into the plush carpeting. Unlike our floor, thick black curtains covered the large windows and the overhead lights were off, bathing the narrow corridor in inky blackness. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end.
As if sensing my unease, Asher turned to me and offered a smile. “The vamps hate the light. Even the tiny amount that seeps down from in between the clouds now a days.”
“Does it bother you?” There was so much of my best friend I didn’t know. Declan wasn’t the only one who’d become a stranger.
He shook his head. “Not really. Direct sunlight would be bad, but these dim rays don’t do much to us stryx.”
We turned the corner, and a pack of vampires skulked toward us. Their dark gazes landed on me, igniting a fresh batch of goose bumps. Their fangs dropped as they sniffed the air.
A low growl rumbled in Asher’s throat as they drew closer.
Oh crap.
The tall one in the front pierced me with his icy blue eyes, and my legs began to quiver. My mind spun, my stomach roiling like I was on the descent of a runaway roller coaster.
“Breck, drop it,” Asher hissed. His words sounded muffled and far away.
Blue Eyes dropped his gaze, and my mind cleared. “What the hell?”
“Compulsion.” Asher said it as if it were obvious. He grabbed my arm and secured me to his side as the horde encircled us. A stray thought raced through my mind. Could Declan use compulsion? Had he ever used it on me?
Crimson eyes and gleaming white teeth came at me from all sides tearing me away from my inner ramblings.
“She’s mine.” Ash glared at each and every one of them as his fangs descended.
“Why do you always get the new ones?” asked a redhead. “It’s not fair.”
“Yes, Asher, don’t be greedy.” A heavily tattooed vampire ran his finger over my cheek, and it was all I could do to keep from screaming. “Share your new friend.”
Asher snatched the guy’s finger and bent it backward till a sickening crunch filled the air. He yelped and darted back. “Hands off, Max. She’s not one of your blood whores.”
“So who is she then?” The redhead’s curious gaze ran over me.
“Zeke’s guest.”
“Oh, fancy.” She pursed her lips and motioned to the guys surrounding us. They followed her down the hall, practically gliding over the carpet. Before disappearing into the shadows, she craned her head back. “Tell Zeke I get first dibs when he’s done with her.”
A chill skittered up my back, and I did my best to suppress the tremor. Maybe going with Asher had been a bad idea. On the bright side, I hadn’t thought about Declan at all in the last few minutes.
“Come on.” Asher pressed his hand into my lower back and steered me down the corridor.
Finally, we reached a door and Asher stopped. He swiped the key card and opened the door, motioning for me to enter. “Welcome to my place.”
The room was much like ours only a little smaller and faced a wall instead of the expansive views we enjoyed. The bed was unmade and windows drawn. Not a single personal item littered the space. It was cold and generic. Nothing like the bedroom of the best friend I remembered covered in movie posters and sports’ gear.
“Sit.” He pointed at the bed and pulled a chair up to the side, lowering himself into it. A thick silence filled the air. It was completely uncharted territory for us. I’d never found myself without something to say to Asher. Our conversations had always come naturally. Talking to him was like talking to my mom or dad.
Or Duke. Crap! With all the Declan craziness I’d forgotten all about him. “Ash, I need to get Duke. We left him at an old townhouse in the Upper West Side.”
“No problem. I’ll send one of the stryx to pick him up and bring him here.”
I nodded, and the awkward silence pervaded.
“Sorry.” He leaned forward and clasped his hands together. “This is really surreal right?”
A small chuckle slipped out, breaking the tension. “Yeah, totally.” I ran my hands over my face and pushed my dark hair behind my ears. “God, Ash, when did things get so messed up?”
He exhaled slowly and rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. “When we decided to leave the farm, I guess.”
That had been my idea. I’d been the one that wanted to head south. If we hadn’t, none of this would’ve happened.
“Don’t, Liv. I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong. We would’ve starved if we’d stayed.”
“At least we would’ve died together.” God, that was morbid.
He ground his teeth together and cracked his knuckles. “We could still be together… forever.”
I lurched forward. “What?”
“Hear me out before you say anything, Liv.” He straightened in the chair, pinning me with his brilliant green eyes. “It’s not safe for you here as a human. Even if I were with you all the time, I can’t protect you. Every human in a hundred mile radius from here is either dead or wishes they were.”
“So you want me to become a v-vampire?” I was so repulsed by the idea I couldn’t even get the word out. That’s what he wanted to talk to me about?
“It’s the only way you’ll be safe. You heard Zeke; another war is inevitable. No humans will survive this time—unless you count the ones we keep for food. Trust me, you never want to become one of them.”
I tried to school my expression, but I couldn’t suppress the have you completely lost your mind look from my face. Vampires killed my parents. They’d slaughtered millions of people like nothing. They were cruel merciless creatures without a shred of humanity.
And yet, here I was talking to o
ne. Hell, I’d spent the last few weeks with another one.
I shook my head, all the thoughts jumbled inside. I could be with Asher forever. I wouldn’t have to run anymore or be terrified of dying daily. I’d even be able to hold my own against the angels and their soldiers.
No… I can’t.
My old best friend would’ve rather died than join the enemy. “How could you even be with them right now? After everything the vampires did?”
His fangs descended and darkness flooded his eyes. “I don’t really have a choice now do I? I’m one of them whether I like it or not.”
I shook my head, despair bubbling over every inch of me. My heart ached for my friend—for what he’d become.
“You don’t have to give me an answer right now. Just think about it.” He sat back, his shoulders relaxing against the chair. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.
The position was so typical Asher, it nearly took my breath away. We used to spend days lounging on the front porch in the summertime. The only thing missing was the piece of straw hanging from his lips.
“Ash, is it really you in there?” I paused as he eyed me. “It’s just, when I saw you at Arx, you seemed so different.”
He blew out a breath. “The augmentation really screws with your head.”
The crazed look in his eye when he attacked Declan flashed across my vision. “That’s why you went after Declan when we came to save you? You knew what he was.”
He nodded. “I was made to fight and kill vampires. I guess it enhanced my perceptiveness, and I was able to see through the angel exterior.”
I wished Declan had come clean about what he was back then. Maybe all of this could’ve been avoided. Now here I was considering becoming one of them. Was I really?
“What was dying like?” Asher’s crumpled body sprang to the forefront of my mind.
“It’s not fun.” He chuckled and kicked his feet up on the bed. “The first few days when you turn are hell. The thirst is almost too much. Then it gets better and you start to feel like your old self again. The bloodlust is manageable—especially for stryx. We don’t need as much as the real vampires.” He shrugged. “It’s not that bad, really. You know what they say—if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”
Loud banging on the door sent my heart into overdrive. I dropped my toothbrush and raced into the bedroom. My eyes darted to Asher, who was still stretched out across the floor over a pile of blankets.
“Hold on a sec,” he grumbled.
I ran my hands through my hair, trying to tame the wild bedhead. I had a pretty good idea who was on the other side of that door, and my stomach churned at the thought.
Asher tugged a shirt over his head and peered through the peephole. With a sidelong glance back at me, he opened the door.
Smoldering maroon irises pierced me, his intense gaze running from my disheveled hair down to my bare legs. I reached out to grab the bathroom doorframe to steady myself.
Declan’s narrowed glare moved from me to Asher and back. The betrayal written across his face was palpable.
“It’s not what you think,” I muttered.
He swept a stray dark curl behind his ear and pressed his arms against his chest. “I was worried when I didn’t find you in the room this morning.”
This morning? Where had he spent the night? “I’m fine. I was here.” Obviously.
Asher cleared his throat and motioned to Declan. “You can come in if you want.”
“No, thanks. I can’t stay; I’m actually leaving soon and wanted to talk to Liv before I did.”
My stomach dropped. “What? Where are you going?”
Declan eyed Asher and pressed his lips into a tight line. I got the hint.
“Ash, can you give us a minute, please?”
He frowned, and then huffed and slipped on his flip-flops. He brushed by Declan, bumping his shoulder. Declan tensed and for a second I thought I’d have to break up a fight. Instead, Declan’s eyes met mine, and his expression softened.
“Come in. We can’t really talk with you out in the hallway.”
He walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. “I spoke to Zeke and made it clear I want no part in this war. I certainly didn’t leave my father’s side to join his. He seemed to understand.”
“Good.” I sidled over to the bed and slid down onto the mattress, pulling the covers over my bare bottom half.
He ran his hand over the back of his neck, his eyes not meeting mine. “Did you have enough time to think things through?”
No.
Now I had a whole other set of issues to wade through. How could I tell him I was considering Asher’s request to become a vampire when it was the very reason I was pushing him away?
“Maybe you should go without me. It’ll give me time to figure stuff out.” I bit my lower lip to keep it from trembling. Declan had just lost his mom, and now I was bailing out on him. I felt like a horrible person, but I had to do this for my own sanity.
All the color drained from his face. “Are you serious? And you’re going to stay here with a bunch of vampires?”
“Asher’s my best friend. He won’t let anything happen to me.”
“You don’t know that for sure. He’s one of them now and if Zeke tells him to jump, he has no other choice but to obey.”
I couldn’t believe that. Even as a vampire, Asher would never hurt me.
“And what about the shield?” He lowered his voice. “We promised my mom we’d find it.” His intense maroon eyes glazed over.
“We don’t even know if any of that is true. I’m sorry, Declan, but I can’t go with you. Not right now. I just got Asher back, and I can’t leave him. I already lost him once, and I won’t do it again. He’s the only family I have left.”
I’d never forget the wounded look that streaked across Declan’s dark eyes. It was like a knife to the heart. “And what about me? What about us?”
My lower lip quivered. Us? A crack tore across my heart as pain seared my fragile organ. “You broke us, Declan.” I stared down at my hands because I couldn’t bear to see the hurt in his eyes. “I need time to see if I can get over the secrets and lies. To figure out if there’s anything left of us.”
“I can’t leave you,” he muttered. “I’m physically incapable of leaving you. Being away from you is like living without air.”
Sobs were building in my chest, and I didn’t think I could hold them back for long. My throat tightened, and I could barely breathe. “Please, Declan, just go,” I forced out.
He clenched and unclenched his fists at his side and with one last piercing glance, he spun out the door.
All the air siphoned out of my lungs. I buried my face in my hands and let the tears fall for what felt like the hundredth time in the past few days.
Chapter 17
There was one perk of living at vampire headquarters: hot showers. I stepped out of the tub and wrapped the towel around me. My finger grazed the heart birthmark, and a pang of guilt unfurled in my gut. I shook my head, trying to shake out the dark thoughts. Sammarah had been the chosen one, not me. I couldn’t help Declan. It wasn’t my responsibility to save the world.
Maybe if I said it enough times, I’d start to believe it.
I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, my golden irises catching my eye. They seemed darker today. I continued to stare at the pools of amber until I convinced myself I’d made the right choice. Swallowing down the guilt, I stepped into the bedroom where Asher lay across the large mattress.
I was still bunking with my old roomie plus Duke even though Zeke had offered me my own room. The idea of staying by myself in a hotel full of vampires made my skin crawl. Zeke had been surprisingly accommodating when Asher had told him I’d be staying. His whole attitude made me suspicious. He’d been so adamant about Declan joining his army and then he just allowed him to leave? Something wasn’t right.
Asher put down the handheld videogame and glanced up at me. Oh right, that was anothe
r vampire perk: electricity. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just thinking.”
“About my offer?” A glint of mischief sparkled in his green eyes.
“It’s going to take more than two days to decide to sacrifice my immortal soul.” I threw a pillow at his face, which of course he dodged.
He jumped up, and a wicked grin crossed his face. “You know what? I’m taking you out of here. You’ve been cooped up in this room for too long.” He grabbed my hand and dragged me to the door.
“Wait. Where are we going?” I glanced out the window. It was nearly full dark out.
“To have some fun.”
Duke whined, and I almost said no. I felt bad leaving him alone after just getting him back. Plus he’d been acting kind of strange. He’d barely even looked at Asher, and he used to be crazy about him.
“So?” Ash’s voice broke me away from my dog-mommy guilt.
I glanced down at my worn black top and ratty old jeans and frowned. “Okay, but I hope it’s nothing fancy.”
Once we were outside, I inhaled the fresh night air and immediately felt better. I had needed this. We walked down Park Avenue, and the permanent knot that resided in my stomach began to unravel. If I looked past the blown out windows and crumbling buildings, I could pretend it was the old Liv and Asher out for a moonlit stroll.
“So where are we going exactly?”
“It’s a surprise.” Asher winked.
One thing was certain, the sullen brooding Ash that had been around since the world went to hell seemed to have disappeared. This new vampire version reminded me more of the one from our youth.
“Come on, you humans walk too slow.” He scooped me into his arms and dashed down the street.
The cool evening breeze whipped through my hair, and I wrapped my arm tighter around Ash’s neck. Vamp-speed was like flying. Almost. Ghost fingers squeezed around my heart as I remembered soaring through the sky with Declan. I’d felt so safe in his embrace. I will not think about Declan.
Asher ground to a halt, and I nearly got whiplash. Lowering me to the ground, he stared up at a towering high-rise. Bright, multi-colored lights and pounding base filtered down from the top floor of the building.