by Emma Hamm
A cry drifted through the window into the night air. Manus winced. The baby would grow up without a father, and that was even more of a damn shame. He knew the pain first hand. The child deserved someone who loved it.
He straightened his jacket, stepped up the small stairs leading into Arturo’s home, and knocked.
It took a few seconds for his wife to open the door, and Manus realized he’d never asked her name.
She was a pretty little thing with a splash of freckles across her cheeks and hair the color of gold. In her hand she held a broom, dust covering her simple gown.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
His tongue refused to work. In her eyes, he saw his own future. A pretty little wife, a babe, a small cottage by the sea. A wife who lived alone because her husband disappeared every chance he could get.
A wife who would inevitably find herself alone and starving.
“Och, you’re looking a wee bit pale there,” she muttered. “Come in with you.”
“I really shouldn’t—”
“In.” Her stern tone reminded him of his mother.
Manus let himself be pulled into her humble home and almost closed his eyes as a pang of pain struck him in the chest. This was the place Arturo spoke of so often.
It was a quaint little house, as his friend had claimed. Pretty and filled with a woman’s touch. Small tapestries hung from the walls, a hand stitched quilt over the small bed. Even the cups were painted with flowers.
The baby cried again, and Arturo’s wife raced towards the crib. “Sorry, it’s her feeding time and I can’t miss it, or she gets grouchy.”
He watched her life the tiny bundle into her arms and coo. In his mind, he filled in her image with that of Saoirse. His merrow would look wonderful with a few children, a life.
“It’s all right,” he murmured as she turned away from him. “Take your time.”
“I apologize, I’m usually better with guests. Are you a friend of Arturo’s?”
He tripped over his words, “I-Well-Yes. Yes, I was.”
Her spine stiffened. “He’s not coming back I take it.”
This was the moment. His moment to stay true to his word and be a better man. The words stuck on his tongue, his throat closing in anxiety.
“He talked about you all the time,” he said. “You were never far from his mind, even in the end.”
“Was it quick?”
The baby reached around her mother and took a handful of cloth in her chubby fist. He fixated on the movement and realized he couldn’t lie. “No, ma’am it was not.”
She sighed. “How did it happen?”
“The ship sank. And I know it sounds crazy, but we sailed into faerie waters. I was the only one who survived, and only because a faerie saw fit to save my life.”
Arturo’s wife draped a blanket over her shoulder and chest, then turned to look him in the eye. “Why you?”
“I don’t know.”
“You say a faerie saved you, but the same faerie didn’t save my husband?”
“She doesn’t understand why she saved me. I’ve asked her a hundred times and every time it’s the same answer. She doesn’t know.”
Silence stung his ears as Arturo’s wife looked him up and down. The baby shifted under the blanket, drawing his eyes to the daughter his friend would never see.
Manus cleared his throat. “He said to tell you how much he loved you, and trust me he did. He never stopped talking about you, the child, the life you were going to build together.”
“And yet he always went back to the sea,” she replied. “He always took his life in his own hands, and I told him it would be the end of him. Of us.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes, tearing at his heart until he felt as though he was laid bare before her.
“I’m sorry,” he croaked. “For everything.”
“It wasn’t your fault that he heard sirens calling his name. But I thank you for bringing his message.”
He turned on his heel, incapable of walking fast enough. Manus wanted to leave this house filled to the brim with emotions and dark memories.
“Oh, sailor?”
He paused at her doorstep.
“Take care of that lass who has you all tied up in knots. Don’t be like my Arturo. Be there for her when the storms come a’calling.”
The haunting words rang in his ears as he fled her doorstep and raced towards home.
Saoirse stood at the end of the rickety dock, white nightgown whipping around her legs and lashing behind her like the great tail of a guardian. She hugged her arms firmly around her waist. The waves crashed upon the shore in great slaps, bringing with them the silver light of the moon.
Her dark eyes scanned the horizon, searching for something she couldn’t name. It wasn’t her family. Though she appreciated their memories, she could not condone their lives. The elixir of freedom still flowed through her veins. That life was no longer hers.
So, what was it? What was she looking for? Something deep within her soul yearned for more, but she didn’t know what the more was.
She dug her fingers into her sides.
A hole ripped open deep inside the fiber of her being. She didn’t know what the ache was, couldn’t name it or point to the place where it hurt. Yet, there it was. The aching burn of the unknown.
Bare feet padded down the worn planks. Each heavy thump of heel against wood reminded her that she was not alone. That her life was no longer only hers.
Not anymore.
Manus heaved a sigh behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. His heat sank into her back, easing the tense muscles of her spine instantly. His chin settled on her shoulder as he snuggled her tighter in his arms.
“What is it, my pearl?”
“Hm?” Saoirse hummed the quiet sound. “What do you mean?”
“You’re brooding.”
“Brooding? I wouldn’t even know how to do that.” She felt his chest expand in a great sigh that tickled the side of her neck.
“Do you miss them?”
Saoirse hesitated a moment. “I miss aspects of them. Some of them were kind even if their thoughts were backwards.”
“Would you go back?”
“Never.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t go back under the waves after seeing all that I have. This place, with all its dirt and secrets, is still beautiful.”
He reached forward and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, tugging lightly on her lobe. “Your ability to always see the good in things is the first thing I adored about you. Did you know that?”
“Other people can see goodness in the world.”
“Not like you do.” He squeezed her waist and blew out another breath against her neck. “I should apologize for my behavior today.”
“I understand why you yelled.”
And she did. Saoirse understood that she was a rare creature in this place. He worried she would disappear with the merest puff of wind. She didn’t agree with him but understood why he was nervous.
He had shaken with the mere thought of losing her. That alone told her all she needed to know about his feelings even if he could never verbalize them.
“No,” he muttered. “It’s not enough. I acted like a cad, and I had no right to do it.”
“You were worried about me.”
“And there are better ways to handle it. I’ve never had a… lady.”
She turned in his arms and hooked them around his neck. His words vibrated with sadness, fear, and something else she could not name. It tasted like salt water on her tongue and the bitter remains of seashells.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say Manus.”
“It’s just that… Well, fine. I’ll just say it and you take it as you will. I’ve never considered myself a man who might marry. I spent my time with ladies I paid, and none of them were mine. I didn’t have to worry about losing them because I never had them in the first place. You understand?”
“I think I’m followin
g,” she said, trying her best to keep amusement from her voice.
“When I saw you with that artisan I wanted to spin his head around. He was touching you and although I still have no right to say what you can or cannot do, but I wanted to toss you over my shoulder and lock you away from any other man’s eyes. I’m not used to that, Saoirse.”
She watched him struggle to formulate the words. They moved so fast through his lips that she could barely understand them, but it didn’t matter. She could feel the words as they brushed through her mind and tingled in the base of her spine.
He cared. He cared so much it turned him into a different person, and he couldn’t understand it.
That was okay. She could deal with that.
Saoirse stood on tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. The kiss was chaste and soft, sweet like all the things she did.
“It’s okay,” she whispered against him. “All is forgiven.”
“It is?”
“I could never stay mad at you for too long, Manus. I crossed the seas for you, and nothing will ever change that.”
His hands slid down her spine, holding onto her ribs with a touch so gentle it nearly brought tears to her eyes. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”
“You pleased a god.”
“Indeed, I must have. For you have a heart large enough to heal the wounded edges of mine.” He leaned down and kissed her until her toes curled.
She loved this man. Loved him painfully, achingly, and so thoroughly that it made her worry for her soul.
The Price Of Gold
Saoirse blearily blinked her eyes open. She stared up at the ceiling, her mind racing to catch up.
They had lived in the shack for a while, but she was hungry now. Last night, Manus had shaken his head when she asked for a bit of bread. Instead, he’d given her water and tucked her under the covers.
“The water will fill your belly,” he’d murmured. “I’ll try to figure something out while you’re asleep.”
But it wasn’t better. Her stomach gnawed at itself as if it could eat her body instead of food. It hurt so much that she worried it might kill her.
What had awoken her?
Saoirse restlessly moved her legs, touching a solid warm weight at her feet.
“Manus,” she said. “Are you back?”
“I’d hoped to keep you innocent of this,” he replied. “I’d hoped to keep you safe.”
She tilted her head. He sat with his head in his hands, barely perched on the bed. His spine was a soft curve, coiled in on himself in shame and defeat. She could sense the emotions heavy in the air, so thick it clogged her senses.
“You didn’t find food.”
“There are no jobs for a man who was born to be a sailor. They all know me. I can’t farm, I can’t be a shop keep, I don’t have any skills.”
She reached down and rubbed her hand down his spine. “Then we will find another way.”
“There’s only one other way, and I am loath to beg you to put yourself in danger.”
“Danger? What would put me in danger?”
He turned, gathered her hands in his, and cleared his throat. “On the isle, you used to bring me gold and gems. You’d find all those beautiful coins and treat them as if they weren’t important. But they are here. It’s how we pay for food, for drink, for everything we have.”
“I understand the concept of money, Manus.”
“I don’t have money.” His cheeks reddened. “I think I’m past the point of poor, and closer to just waiting for death. I spent everything I had, and I can’t find any way to replace it.”
Saoirse blinked, lights flickering to life in her mind. “You want me to find more gold.”
“Is it even possible? There cannot be many shipwrecks around here.”
“There are always shipwrecks. But Manus, going into the water isn’t just dangerous. It’s deadly for me. If any of your people see me—”
“They won’t. I won’t let them see you. We’ll take a small boat, row offshore, no one will know what you’re doing until we return. And even then, we’ll say it’s your inheritance.”
“My what?” She cocked her head to the side in confusion.
“It’s customary for women to have some kind of dowry when they get married. For most in this area it's livestock, but everyone already thinks you’re some kind of noble. It wouldn’t be a surprise for you to have a treasury to your name.”
His eyes were strangely heated as though a fever ran through his veins. She’d never seen him like this before. Not even on the isle when she had brought him fistfuls of sparkling necklaces and priceless jewels.
That her family might find her was a very real danger. It was, however, unlikely they would come this far north. At the least, she might be spotted by a few sharks who would tattle. It wasn’t the end of the world.
“It can only be one time,” she said. “Once my family catches wind of where I am, then I can’t go back in the water.”
“Would they already know?”
“I don’t think so.” She hoped not. Her legs already itched, desperately wanting to free themselves from the confines of humanity. Saoirse wanted to feel the water gliding along her skin again. “We would have seen them by now.”
The shack was too close to the water. Merrow men could walk to it, and their strength was still massive on land. Considering they hadn’t been raided yet, Saoirse thought it safe to say her father didn’t know where she had run off to.
Manus squeezed her hands. “You’d be saving us. I understand it’s a lot to ask from you, but Saoirse, we’d be set for life.”
“How much do you want me to get?”
“It’s just once? You’re certain?”
She nodded.
“Then whatever we can find. All of it. I have a few mates from back in the day who have an extra dingy, and we can pay them to keep their silence.”
“Manus.” She licked her lips. “Where are we going to put it? There’s nowhere safe here.”
“You let me worry about that. I’ve got friends in high places, though they won’t admit to knowing me yet. Once we have money, people will flock to help us. We just need to get it.” He lifted a hand and slid his fingers along her jaw, into her hair. “So, you’ll do this?”
“If this is what you want.”
“I want to take care of you. I want to give you a life you deserve, but I can’t do it alone, my pearl.” He tugged the back of her neck and pressed their foreheads against each other. “You are a blessing, Saoirse.”
She didn’t feel like a blessing. Her entire body ached from hunger, and she knew he was in no better state. Manus’s cheeks were gaunt, his ribcage visible, and he moved slower than he used to. They needed something to change.
Apparently, it was her turn to save them.
Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she held onto his shoulder to balance herself. “I'll need to be far away from any ships, and even then, you have to make sure no one sees me.”
“I can get the boat. Get yourself ready.”
They helped each other stand, and Manus rushed out of the door.
Saoirse didn’t need to prepare herself. There was nothing here which would assist her in the ocean. The sharp knives in the corner were good for human food, but they wouldn’t stand a chance against a shark or an orca.
She bit her lip and twisted her fingers together. Was this a good idea?
So much could go wrong. So much could happen under the surface where Manus couldn’t see her. If her family found her again…
No. She wouldn’t let herself think like that. Athair would have sent every merrow man he could to retrieve her. Not because she was special or rare, but because she had betrayed him in every sense. If he knew where she was, he wouldn’t rest until she was back in the depths, locked away for life.
A shiver danced down her spine. No matter what, she would never allow that to happen. The waters here were cold, the current strong. Merrow men wouldn’t be able to
find her.
“I can do this,” she whispered.
The pounding of approaching feet echoed, and the door opened to reveal Manus’s lanky form. “Are you ready?”
She nodded.
“You don’t need to change?”
Saoirse looked down at herself, taking stock of the plain blue linen dress, and shrugged. “It’s coming off anyways.”
His mouth gaped open for a moment before he shook himself. “That’s right. Strange how quickly I can forget that you aren’t human. For a second I worried you would grow cold.”
“The water is my home, Manus. It will never feel cold.”
She let him take her hand and guide her from the small shack. An ancient boat was tied to the dock with a frayed rope. It hardly looked safe although she didn’t worry for herself. Saoirse could always survive, but he was a little more sensitive to the dangers of the ocean.
“Is it safe?” she asked as she padded down the dock. “It looks as though it should have been put to rest long ago.”
“I wouldn’t take it out into open waters, but it’ll carry us away from the shore safe enough. Give me your hand.”
Saoirse took the offered assistance and let him lower her into the belly of the boat. She tucked her legs underneath her, smoothed her skirt, and watched as he clambered in with her.
The oars lifted and settled into the water soundlessly. Each rise sent droplets skittering across the calm waters of the bay. The water streaked pink as the sun lifted its head and kissed the sky.
She thought the waves were calm in slumber, then realized she was wrong. It was holding its breath, waiting for the moment when she would dip her toes in once again. The merrow was returning to the grasp of her great mother. The ocean knew what she was doing, and it watched her with a solemn gaze.
Manus steered their boat through ships with limp sails, past seals which popped their heads out of the water and peered at them. Glassy eyes met hers and Saoirse felt her soul take flight.
She had missed this. The world under the waves was one so rare, so beautiful, that it tore at a person’s soul to leave it.
The guardian had been right. Every moment she was away from the ocean felt as though she was inhaling shallow breaths. Her life was dull and colorless.