by Tara Sue Me
Silent tears ran down Julie’s cheeks. “Promise me you won’t disappear inside yourself again.”
“I promise.” One lone tear escaped from Sasha’s eye. “If I feel a panic attack coming on, I know what to do. I’m not defenseless.”
Listening to her talk and seeing how she responded to Julie, I believed Sasha was ready. I vividly remembered how it was to long for domination and not have it. It was time for Sasha to return to the group. I glanced out of the corner of my eye to Dena, and she caught the movement and looked my way. I tilted my head toward Julie and Sasha and nodded. Dena smiled and returned the nod. She thought so, too. I would have to give my opinion to Nathaniel.
Julie stood. “Dena, will you talk to Jeff about Sasha attending? I’ll do the same with Daniel. And, Abby, you and Nathaniel will be revising the requirements for inclusion in group?”
“Yes,” I said. “I’ll talk to him about being sure there are rules in place that will allow Sasha to feel safe when she attends.”
“Thank you,” Sasha whispered.
“I feel like I’ve been out of it the last few weeks,” Dena said. “Is Peter still in the group? Will he be there?”
Sasha cringed at Peter’s name.
Julie sat down at Sasha’s side. “Yes, he’s still in the group. Master Greene hasn’t released him from mentoring yet, and he could come to the party. I don’t know if he will.”
“Maybe I’ll suggest to Nathaniel that it’d be a good idea for Master Greene to keep Peter from attending this party.” I looked over to Sasha. “Or is that overstepping my bounds? I think if I were in your place, I wouldn’t want him there the first time I returned.”
Relief washed over her expression. “If you don’t mind, that would be great. My fear of running into him again is part of what’s held me back. I know I have to face him, but it’s all about baby steps. I think it’ll be easier to meet with the group and then deal with him than to deal with him and then meet with the group.”
I nodded. “I agree. You shouldn’t do them both at the same time, and group first makes sense to me.”
“We’ll all be there for support, Sasha,” Julie said. “You won’t be alone.”
“You guys are the best.” Sasha looked as if she might cry again, but she blinked and nothing rolled down her cheek. “Now let’s talk about something fun. Dena, tell us about all your wedding plans.”
Chapter Six
NATHANIEL
Abby was out with Dena and her other friends from the Partners group, and I was having a tea party with Elizabeth and Henry. The children had somehow lured Apollo into joining us and they’d grown too quiet in the few minutes I stepped out of the room to make a quick call.
There were hushed whispers as I returned to Elizabeth’s room, but then I heard Henry squeal, “Pretty!” and I knew I’d come to Apollo’s rescue just in time. I stepped inside to find Apollo with a pink feather boa around his neck, a pink “Princess” sash draped over his shoulders, and a sparkling pink tiara tied to his head. He looked at me as if to say, Pink really isn’t my color. Make them stop.
“How’s the tea party going?” I asked Elizabeth, who was dressed in a princess gown and a pair of Abby’s old shoes.
“Henry won’t wear his crown,” she said.
At the mention of his name, Henry smiled and pointed to Apollo. “Dada, he’s pretty!”
“Yes, Apollo certainly looks very pretty, but I think he needs to rest now. He’s old, you know, and playing princess tea party is hard work.”
“Is Apollo really, really old?” Elizabeth asked. “Like ten?”
“He’s closer to twelve,” I said, laughing inside that ten was really, really old.
“That is old.” She walked to Apollo as best she could in the shoes and started de-princessing him. “Go rest with Daddy, Apollo. We can play tea party later.”
Once he was no longer decked out in pink, Apollo stood up and shook, then trotted over to me. “Let’s go take Apollo outside and we can play on the swings.”
“Cookie. Please,” Henry said.
I glanced at my watch. “Too close to dinner. Mommy wouldn’t like it if I let you have a cookie now. Eat a good dinner and we’ll see.”
“I have cookies,” Elizabeth said, pushing an empty plate toward him.
Henry looked down and, realizing they were only imaginary cookies, told her, “Fix it.”
Elizabeth tried to explain why imaginary cookies were better and Henry didn’t believe her one bit. But he didn’t complain. They played together really well, at least most of the time.
Growing up as an only child, I’d always wanted a brother or sister. Then my parents died when I was ten and I lived with my aunt and uncle. Their son, Jackson, had been like the brother I’d never had. I’d always known that if I ever had children, I’d want at least two.
“Let’s go.” I picked Henry up to carry him down the stairs and Elizabeth followed with Apollo.
Later that evening, after Abby returned home from lunch with her friends, I pulled into Daniel’s driveway. He’d called while the women were at lunch and asked if I could stop by his house for a little bit. I’d just gotten out of the car when I heard voices near the patio.
“How long is Cole going to be at the guesthouse?” The question was voiced by a woman I didn’t recognize.
“I don’t know.” That sounded like Julie. “He’s been gone a lot. Traveling different places. I really can’t keep up with him.”
“Does he have a lot of … people over?”
“By people, do you mean women?”
There was a tight laugh and then, “Yeah, that’s what I meant.”
“I haven’t seen anyone stay overnight, but that doesn’t mean he’s not inviting women over to play.”
“Just wondering.”
Julie sighed. “You know Cole’s reputation in the playroom, don’t you, Sasha?”
“I’ve heard some things.”
“From what I’ve picked up on, they’re all true,” Julie said. “Do you think about playing when you picture yourself back with the group?”
There was nothing from Sasha and I wanted to make my presence known before they started chatting again. I walked quickly, covering the distance in a few long strides. Turning the corner, I found them working in the garden that ran along the front porch.
“Hey, guys,” I said.
Julie sat back on her heels and smiled. “Hey, Nathaniel. Daniel said you were coming over. He’s in the sunroom at the back of the house. If you follow the walkway around, you’ll find him.”
“Thank you, Julie.” I glanced at Sasha. She’d put her shovel down and was looking at the dirt. Abby had told me about her conversations with Dena. I still had reservations about Sasha rejoining, but wasn’t sure exactly why. “Hello, Sasha.”
She didn’t look up. “Hello, Sir.”
“I prefer Nathaniel when we’re not with the group.”
She lifted her head, and a mischievous grin crept across her lips. “Does anyone ever call you Nate?”
“Not if they want a reply.”
“I didn’t think you looked like a Nate.”
I grinned. “What does a Nate look like?”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure. I just know it’s not like you.”
“Sasha,” Julie said. “Come help me carry these empty planters to the greenhouse.”
The two women went back to their gardening and I followed the path around the house to the sunroom, finding Daniel exactly where Julie said he’d be.
He saw me and opened the door. “Hey, Nathaniel. Come on in.”
We took our seats at the dining table and I noticed a pile of paperwork at Daniel’s place. He picked it up and flipped through the stack.
“I’ve pulled the paperwork from all active members,” he said. “I thought if you were going to be redoing the application process, we might as well have everyone fill out paperwork and resubmit.”
“I was actually going to suggest that. I was thinkin
g it was a good idea because Peter had been out of the mentor program for a while and Ron was still in it when he harassed Dena, so it’s not like we can point to one thing to identify as the breakdown.”
He leaned back in his chair. “I know you and Abby are coming to the party tomorrow night. I’ll be interested in hearing your thoughts after.”
I’d been to the group’s play parties before, but always as a guest. This coming weekend, Abby and I would attend as members. But more than that, we’d be looking for ways to improve safety and security for all members.
“Abby mentioned Sasha wanted to attend this weekend’s party,” I said. “What are your thoughts?”
“I talked to her when she came over to help Julie in the garden. I won’t lie to you, after what happened with Peter, I thought she would never join the group again.”
“She was that bad off?” At first, I’d been alarmed when I saw her. She still looked depressed. She was too thin and her eyes had the look of a person who didn’t sleep very well. But her comeback on the Nate thing showed me she had more fire inside than it at first appeared.
“Yes. She wouldn’t even stay and watch when I collared Julie.”
“But when you talked to her this afternoon?”
“She’s in a better place. I’m okay with her attending tomorrow night, but I’d like for us all to keep an eye on her and be there if she needs us.”
Sasha’s paperwork was on the top of the pile. I picked it up and glanced over it. “Abby said she wasn’t planning to play.”
“No, I know she won’t tomorrow. But I think it’d be good for us to be proactive and have a plan ready for when she is.”
A noise from outside caused us both to turn our heads. The two women had moved to the side of the house with their gardening. Cole stood with them holding a flat of flowers. But what had captured everyone’s attention was the petite woman at his side.
“Cole has company,” Daniel said. “First time I’ve known him to have someone over. Maybe he’s finally getting Kate out of his system.”
“She could be his editor.”
As we watched, he passed the flowers to Julie and then slipped his hand to rest low on the unknown woman’s ass.
“Or not,” I added.
“Yeah, I’m guessing not his editor. Wonder why he brought those back to Julie? I had them delivered to the guesthouse because that’s where she wanted them planted.”
“I saw her and Sasha working by the driveway.”
“She wanted to add some new plants and I want her to think of this as her home, too.” He laughed. “Though I told her I’d like it better if she planted in the nude.”
I chuckled, then glanced back outside. Cole and his friend had left, heading toward the guesthouse. Julie and Sasha appeared to be arguing. Julie looked up and Daniel motioned for her to come inside. She put the container down and walked toward us. Sasha followed, not looking happy at all.
“Hey,” Julie said, once inside. She sounded a bit huffy, and was clearly agitated.
“Did Cole have a problem with the plants?” Daniel asked.
“No, he thought they brought them to the guesthouse by mistake. He was going to take them back, but I told him to leave them. I wanted to fertilize them anyway. Then we can plant them.”
“There’s no we,” Sasha said, crossing her arms.
“Honestly, Sasha. I want to get these in the ground today.”
“I’ll do all the other plants.”
“You’re being absurd.”
Daniel cleared his throat. “Nathaniel, can you get me one of the blank checklists from the bottom of that pile?”
I took the pile of papers and gave Daniel a sheet from the bottom. I lifted an eyebrow. Sasha’s demeanor had changed from when I first arrived. If I didn’t know better, I would say she was being bratty because she was jealous. The look on her face reminded me so much of one Abby got when Charlene’s name was mentioned. Daniel nodded. He’d picked up on it, too.
“Sasha,” he said. “I need you to fill out a new checklist. You can give it to either me or Nathaniel at the next play party.”
Her cheeks were flushed when she took the paper. I hadn’t realized how pale she was until I saw the dark splotches on her cheeks.
“Thank you, Sir,” she said. “I was going to ask for a new one.” She looked back at Julie. “I’m going to fill this out. I’ll be back in a bit.”
Julie shook her head as Sasha walked away, but gave Daniel a quick kiss and headed back outside to finish.
“There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about,” Daniel said. “There’s a tri-state BDSM chapter starting and they’re looking for someone to lead some demos. I don’t think Julie’s ready for something like that, but I was wondering if you and Abby might be interested.”
“When and where are the meetings?” I asked, thinking it might be a fun way to further explore Abby’s exhibitionist side.
“The schedule’s still being worked on, but the first meeting is in Pennsylvania. I can give you the name and number of the person in charge if you think it’s something you’d be interested in.”
“That would be great. I’ll definitely talk to Abby about it.”
As I thought, Abby was excited about the possibility of the demos. I waited until we’d put the kids to bed and she came downstairs to the living room, where I was preparing for work the next day. I looked up as she entered and smiled when I saw what she had on.
“You look sexy as hell,” I said, appreciating the long silver gown she’d changed into.
She shot me a sultry smile and sat on the floor near my feet. I ran a free hand through her hair.
She hummed and leaned into my touch. “Mmm, thank you. I thought you might like this.”
“I like it very much.”
We sat in the stillness for several minutes. It was one of those rare and precious moments when everything seemed right, and I wanted to drink it in. My children and my wife, all together with me, healthy and happy. There was nothing more I wanted.
“How’d it go at Daniel and Julie’s today?” she asked, breaking the silence.
“Good. Sasha was there. And Cole. With a woman.”
“Oh?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t meet her; they were going to the guesthouse.” I tapped her shoulder. “Come sit up here for a minute.”
She rose gracefully and curled up on the couch beside me. I wrapped my arm around her and inhaled deeply, smelling her hair.
“I did want to talk to you about something Daniel brought up.”
She looked up, expectantly.
“There’s a tri-state BDSM chapter starting up and they’re looking for couples to do a few demos.” I didn’t miss her look of excitement at the word “demo.” “It seems like you’re craving exhibitionism, and I thought this might be a good way to meet that need.”
“I have been fantasizing about playing in public a lot lately. I don’t know why.”
“Whatever reason there is, if it’s something you need right now, I want you to have it.”
“I don’t know if it’s a need or just a recurring fantasy.”
I ran my knuckles over her cheekbones. “Do you want to do the demos, regardless of why you’re fantasizing about it?”
“Yes.”
“Then we’ll do it.” I twisted a piece of loose hair around my fingers. “I’ll call the organizers tomorrow and get more information.”
“Do you know what they want us to demo?”
“Daniel said bullwhip was one. That’s why they called him first.”
Her excitement dwindled a bit at the mention of the bullwhip. “You’ve never used one on me.”
“True, but I have one and I know how to use it. I’ll just need some practice before I use it on you.” I tilted my head. “Does that make you not want to do the demo?”
“Oh no. I’m still very interested.”
“Even with the bullwhip?”
She leaned in for a kiss. “I trust you comp
letely.”
That was what sometimes scared me. Not that she trusted me not to hurt her, but that she trusted me to fulfill all her desires and fantasies.
What if I failed?
I’d always enjoyed play parties. The way they vibrated with the sometimes subtle, sometimes blatant undercurrent of the power exchange we were all a part of. And I’d never stop enjoying the diversity of the participants. In one room you could happen across a Dom with two male submissives, and in another find a submissive being led by a leash. And there were those who looked as if they just finished shopping with the girls or had come straight from work.
Tonight, Abby and I were only observing to see if we noticed anything happening that was a concern. There were fewer people present than there had been at previous parties we’d attended with the group. Space wasn’t an issue, though. Daniel’s house was more than sufficient for the people in attendance. He and Julie weren’t doing a demo tonight, but when we arrived, he’d had her pressed against a wall, holding her hands above her head and saying something that had her eyes heavy with desire.
Jeff stood off by himself, watching Dena. The vivacious blonde was in the middle of a group of three women who’d come expressing interest in the lifestyle. She spoke animatedly, but with a smile and a demeanor that left the women looking calm and at ease. Not always an easy thing to do.
“You’re a lucky man,” I said to Jeff.
He smiled. “That I am. She’s something else.”
One of the women pointed to Dena’s collar, causing her to look over her shoulder to where we were. Jeff waved.
“Baby doing well?” I asked. At Abby’s request, I’d called him a few days ago and casually brought up playing during pregnancy.
“Yes,” he replied. “And thank you for the talk the other day. I spoke with Dena and we’re going to try a few things. I’m still nervous, but I feel better. And it made me realize that I was being unfair not only to her, but to our relationship as well.”