“We can sit. I have a few minutes today. I’m not always so frazzled.”
“You don’t look frazzled at all. I’d be. If I were a single parent, working a full-time job, and going to medical school. How do you do it?”
Janelle walked to a squat brick planter surrounding the hospital, which enabled the area to have something other than a parking lot surrounding the mass complex of buildings. The trees and shrubs added color to the otherwise monotonous shades of beige and red brick surfaces. Unlike some of the architectural masterpieces in the Boston area, the hospital buildings were just tall and square, boring, nothing to catch the eye.
She sat down and lifted her coffee cup in salute. “Plenty of caffeine and the ability to go days without sleep.”
Derrick sat too, angling his body so he could look into her eyes. She had beautiful hazel eyes, the color of peridot with golden flecks that seemed to dance in the sunlight. “No one can go days without sleep; they only think they can. It catches up with you. It’s extremely unhealthy.”
She lifted her eyes, but resisted a full-out eye roll, it seemed. “Why thank you, Doctor. So why exactly are you here? I told you, I’m flattered, but you still look as though you’re barely out of high school, and as handsome as you are, I simply don’t have time to add one more thing to my schedule.”
“Ouch. Another compliment and slap in one sentence. You’re good at those. Are you sure you’re not a law student? You’d be good at cross-examining.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head again. “I’m serious. You’re such a handsome man…women must throw themselves at you.”
He laughed. “No…but again, thank you. I don’t want anything from you, Janelle. I swear. I just want to be your friend.”
“Oh, so you’re a sucker for a damsel in distress, is that it? I assure you, my hands may be full, but I’m no damsel.”
“Wow…you’re tough.” He lifted his hands in surrender. “Okay…no rescuing. No dating…” he paused, “but who couldn’t use a friend? It’s actually better that you aren’t interested in me. We can really be friends, then.”
She bit her lip, but a chuckle still escaped. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Heard that one too. So, how about it? Can we be friends? I could use a study partner.”
She nodded slowly, so Derrick took the close and ran with it. “What’s your number? I’ll program it in my phone. That way when I have a question I can’t answer at three a.m., I’ll have someone I know who’s wide awake.”
She read off her number, then took another sip of coffee. “We’d better go. It probably won’t look professional if I’m late again.”
Derrick stood and picked up her backpack.
“Umm…” She just stood there, a blank stare in her eyes, as though no one had ever helped her. Had nobody truly ever offered her a hand, or was she one of those women who took offense when a man tried to be a gentleman?
Whether she liked it or not, he had to be who he was, as much as he could anyway. He glared at her. “Yes?”
“Never mind. Thanks.”
Janelle strolled silently beside him as they made their way to the main entry. “I have clinic duty today, so this is my exit.”
“Ah…fun,” Derrick said. “I get to shadow.”
“More fun.” She accepted her backpack from him, but didn’t turn away. “So, should I expect to see you later?”
“Are you working this afternoon?”
She shook her head and smiled. “No. Today I get to study without pulling waitressing or mommy duty. The sitter has Kristina until five o’clock, so I have about three hours.”
“Meet me up front at two o’clock then.” He was supposed to take over the nightshift at his family’s hospital, but someone else would cover him until he arrived. His father knew he got caught up at school sometimes. Nothing could come of this, he reminded himself for the hundredth time. He just wanted a friend.
“Okay…” She didn’t sound completely at ease with their impromptu engagement, even though she’d opened the door for his request, which he just realized came out like a statement, not a request.
“See you then.” Derrick smiled and turned. It felt awkward, as though he was supposed to kiss her goodbye. Friends didn’t kiss each other goodbye, though. He was thirty-five, and he felt like an adolescent who’d just secured his date to the senior prom. Of course, not only did he look nineteen, his family tended to mature slower too, so he did have the mentality of a twenty-something male, not always good when you were trying to procure a ‘friends only’ relationship.
How could he ignore the way his heart leapt every time she said his name…how his soul knew from the first moment he’d seen her? It was as if there was a connection somehow. He needed to call his mother. Something was off about this. It wasn’t normal. Not yet, though. First, they’d have an innocent study session over lunch. She hadn’t agreed to lunch, but he was sure she wouldn’t mind.
Derrick glimpsed at the clock over the patient for the tenth time since he’d followed the attending physician into the room.
If the doctor hadn’t been training, he would have been long gone by now. Instead, he asked the patient tons of questions that the man had probably answered a hundred times over. The symptoms were cut and dried; any first-year resident could answer, and Derrick had no desire to be a star pupil, so he rarely spoke up.
“Mr. Ashton, do you have an appointment elsewhere?”
Derrick blinked. “Yes, sir.”
“Then, go.”
As always, Derrick took his close. He’d deal with the repercussions later. He glanced at his watch. “Damn.” He skipped the elevator and made for the stairs. He listened and then did something else that would get him in major trouble if he was caught, possibly even endanger his entire family, but he was on the first floor in a second.
He pushed through the metal door and slid down the foyer a few yards toward the front entrance. Since he looked nineteen, he could act like it sometimes.
Janelle was pressing keys on her phone when he calmly walked out of the hospital. “Oh, I thought you were going to stand me up.”
“Not a chance.” He took her backpack from her, slung it over his shoulder, then reached for her hand, pulling her toward his Lincoln. Her hand was warm in his, but her pulse quickened. He was making her nervous. It’d felt so natural that he hadn’t even thought about it, but it was wrong of him. He’d assured her they would just be friends, and he couldn’t take a chance that anyone in his family would think otherwise.
He released her hand as he held open the door and resisted watching her step up inside. He walked around to the driver’s side and inhaled a deep breath before entering. They’d have lunch, study, and then that’d be it. He wouldn’t bug her to go out with him again.
“So…Janelle…have you ever had sushi?”
“Sushi? As in raw fish?”
Derrick dipped his head, resisting a chuckle. Sushi had only become popular in the last few years in Boston, but he and his family practically lived on it, since it was one of the few meats they could eat in public without being stared at. “There’s more to it than that, but yes. I’ll help you order.”
“I usually just grab a smoothie and go to the library, Derrick.”
“My treat. You’ll love it, I promise.”
“Okay.”
He buckled his seatbelt and took off.
As soon as he pulled in front of the building, Janelle’s eyes darted to the six-story brick exterior, then back at the waiting valet. She peered down at her jeans and t-shirt as the valet opened the door. She stepped out, but Derrick was certain she planned to make a run for it. He darted around the vehicle and handed over his keys without his normal spiel about being kind to his vehicle.
“Derrick…”
He rested his hand on the small of her back. “You look great, and I promise I’ll have you home before five.”
As they walked inside, her eyes shot up to the two-story entry and the water
fall, then back at him. “I’m not dressed…I don’t have this kind of money—”
Derrick pointed to the lounge. “We’ll sit in there. It’s casual, and it’s more fun to watch the chefs as they make the rolls anyway. Come on. I haven’t had anyone to go out with me in a while.”
She shook her head but allowed him to escort her to a booth in the bar area.
He knew it was a mistake, but he didn’t care. All the time he’d spent with Tori, as many times as they’d made out, he’d never felt even remotely like this. Just friends…they could only be friends.
“So tell me about yourself,” Derrick started. “I’ll give you a list. Just answer whatever you want. Where’d you go to college? Are you from Boston? Do your parents live here? Do you have any siblings?”
It worked. She laughed. He’d hoped to ease her tension. “What is this, the dating game?”
“I don’t play games, Janelle.” Liar…he was playing the riskiest game of his life.
“I think you do, Derrick.”
He’d managed to put her on edge again. He picked up her hand. “I’m sorry. Let me rephrase. I’ve never played games…” He sighed. “Where did you go to college?” He quickly got back on track.
“Believe it or not, Harvard.”
“Really? So your parents do well?” He threw her question from yesterday back at her.
“No…they weren’t well off. And they died in a car wreck when I was seventeen. A little known fact about Harvard, though, if you’re smart enough—and determined enough—you can get in. As an orphaned child, I applied for every grant I could find, and I do have a mountain of student loans that will hit after I’m working for eighteen months, but it’ll be worth it. Anything I can do to give Kristina a better life will be worth it.” Her jaw tightened as though she were holding back emotion.
“I’m so sorry,” Derrick offered. They needed a lull in the conversation so she didn’t get too uncomfortable. He signaled the waiter, who had politely brought them water and then walked away when Derrick motioned him off. The waiter headed back toward them. Derrick didn’t bring women here, but he was a regular. “Would you like me to order for you?”
Janelle nodded. “Yes, please. I wouldn’t have a clue.”
“Are you allergic to anything, or is there anything you don’t like?”
“Nope. I’ll eat just about anything you put in front of me.”
Perfect. The woman was perfect…except for one small detail—okay, one large detail. He ordered for both of them, then went back to his questioning.
“And your daughter…what about her? If you don’t mind my asking, that is. I hope you receive assistance from her father.”
Janelle sighed. “Kristina, thankfully, slipped through the cracks.”
Derrick tilted his head. “What do you mean? As in, you made a mistake?”
“No. Never. I’ve dedicated my life to her and my education. I told you, I don’t have time to date.”
“So, what are you saying?”
“Kristina isn’t really my daughter. She’s my sister. But luckily, the authorities didn’t pay much attention until I was legally old enough to be her guardian. Otherwise, they would have taken her away from me. So, I’ve raised her as my own, told everyone, including Kristina, that my parents had claimed her on her birth certificate because I was so young when I had her. The schools don’t question me because I have all her records, along with my parents’ death certificates. Either way, I’d be her next of kin now.”
“You’ve taken care of all of this since you were seventeen?”
She nodded and a tear slipped down her cheek. “Not that you’d ever meet Kristina, but if you ever do, please don’t tell her. She might be angry with me. And I only did it because I didn’t want her to grow up thinking she was an imposition. She hasn’t been. She is as much of a daughter to me as if I’d had her.”
“I promise.” Derrick thought about how loving Janelle had been to Kristina last night. How she took the time to look at her drawing, said that they’d get her to art classes. Most young parents weren’t that attentive. She really loved her. It also explained how they were so alike in their physical appearance. Most mothers and daughters couldn’t pass for twins because of the father’s influence on their genes. But since they had the same biological parents, it made sense that he’d thought Kristina had looked like a miniature version of Janelle last night. “Although, I would like to meet her someday.”
“Maybe.”
The waiter brought out their plates, providing another break in their conversation. His meal was exactly how he always liked it. Mostly, he didn’t explain to every waiter that he wanted sushi, but he didn’t want all the accompaniments; he only wanted the fish.
Derrick picked up a set of chopsticks. “Allow me to make your first one.” He drizzled a drop of soy sauce to add flavor, a thin slice of ginger, then peeked up at her. “Do you like wasabi? Horseradish?”
She offered him an assuring nod.
He added just a dab and then held the sushi roll out in front of her. As sexily as he’d imagined, she leaned forward and took the bite off the chopsticks. If he knew it, why had he put himself in this situation? What was wrong with him? He sucked in a breath, then absently set the thin strips of bamboo on her plate. “Now, you try,” he said as casually as possible while his heart thrashed in his chest.
He ate his food quickly. They needed to get back. He’d made a mistake. He couldn’t do this.
“You okay?” she asked.
He smiled. “Yeah. How could I not be?” He sucked down his water, then pushed away the plate. “You like it?”
“It’s very good.” Her tone was clipped. She’d recognized his hesitancy.
“Do you plan to stay in Boston?” he asked, attempting to get back to normal conversation.
“It’s okay, Derrick. I know I have a lot of baggage. I tried to warn you. We can just go.”
He sighed. “Janelle, don’t ever let anyone tell you that. You are an incredible woman. To have done so much for Kristina and yourself, when so many others would have just laid down and cried, ‘poor me’. I’m honored to have met you. It’s just—”
She reached across the table. “You don’t have to explain anything. Life is complicated. Obviously if a man as good looking as yourself hasn’t dated in more than a year, you have a reason. You don’t have to explain anything to me.”
He smiled at her. “I’m not gay.”
Janelle’s face turned bright red. So that had been what she was thinking. He could have let her think that; it would have been an easier explanation, but he didn’t think he could hide his attraction to her, and there was no way he could tell her the truth.
“It wouldn’t matter to me one way or another. As I said, I still want to be just your friend. Can you do that, Derrick? It’s clear that you made that point for a reason. And I assure you, as attractive as you are, I just don’t have time for a man in my life, so let’s just keep our secrets, okay? You don’t owe me anything.”
He turned his hand so hers was resting in his. “Okay. That’s probably the best for both of us. Just friends.” But her pulse quickened in his hand, and his own heart rate matched hers beat for beat.
Derrick parked outside Janelle’s apartment. She was supposed to pick up her daughter only a couple blocks away, but she hadn’t directed him there, so maybe she didn’t want him to know where she was. It was good that she was wary. It’d keep her safe.
He got out of the vehicle, even though she hadn’t waited for him to open the door for her. He couldn’t just drop her off at the curb; it felt ungentlemanly like.
He walked her to the bottom of her steps, and she turned. “Thank you, Derrick. It was excellent and definitely not in my budget.”
He stood motionless for a second. He wanted to kiss her; God, he wanted to kiss her. Friends don’t kiss, he reminded himself. They don’t have sex either, and they definitely don’t fall for each other. He stepped back, smiling. “My pleasure.”
Dejection was clear in her eyes, even if she tried to cover it with a smile. They weren’t meant to be. He spun away as his eyes burned, a feeling he’d never experienced. He’d never been unhappy in his life.
As he entered the vehicle, he turned to see her watching from her top step. He hadn’t even kissed her, and yet, he’d broken her heart too. Two short interludes and he’d felt more than he’d ever felt for any woman.
He pulled the vehicle into drive and sped off. He was only going around the block. He’d slip on his hoodie and he’d be ready to watch. From now on, that’s all he’d do. Keep her safe. It was the least he could do for the wonderful woman he could never have.
CHAPTER THREE
“Derrick!” his brother’s deep voice echoed through his earpiece. “Dude, I just landed. I’ll get my luggage and meet you out front.”
“You’re at Logan? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s Spring Break, dude. I did tell you. I emailed you, left you messages. Where’ve you been?”
“Hanging around. Okay. On my way.”
The line clicked. His brother had always been matter of fact in his style. He was looking forward to seeing Michael. He didn’t think it was possible, but he actually missed his bratty brother. Five years difference in age wasn’t a lot as an adult, but as a teenager, it’d been annoying on many occasions. Especially since his larger and heavier brother always wanted to challenge him, as did Mike’s best friend, Jonas, and Ry, Jonas’ brother. For that matter, Tori liked to wrestle too. Growing up around almost all guys, she’d always been rather tomboyish.
He’d spoken to Tori at least once a week over the last few months, and she’d always seemed distraught, mentioned coming home, even though she knew that was out of the question. She’d asked him on more than one occasion if they’d attempt a relationship when she returned from London. He’d deflected as often as he could. She still had almost five years. All he could hope was that she’d meet someone while she was there.
Derrick circled until Mike texted him an ‘OK’. He pulled up to the airport arrivals and couldn’t keep from sighing. They were all here, and they were all behaving like college kids as they wrestled with one another outside the terminal. Yeah, it was Spring Break, but they were professors, not students.
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