Communists: fallen to the Communists: the condition of menstruating. Example: ‘I've just seen your bird, Dude. She does NOT look a happy camper.’ ‘What do you expect? She's fallen to the Communists.’ ‘Nightmare.’ ‘Once a month, Dude. Once a month.’ See also: Blocks, up on the; Munster are playing at home; Painters; Period costume drama.
Conkers deep: adj. having achieved full penetration during sexual intercourse.
Conniption: noun a fit of rage or hysterics. Example: ‘Oh my God, Sophie is having a TOTAL conniption because you scored that goy she likes.’ ‘I actually don't care. He was great. He's hung like a hoover, by the way.’ ‘So I heard. Oh my God.’
Contented temporary tent-dweller: noun someone experiencing happiness or pleasure; not a contented temporary tent-dweller, someone who is annoyed about something.
See also Happy camper.
Cop: verb notice.
Cor: noun car.
Corporate box: noun well-dressed, professional women.
Crash and burn: verb to fail publicly and spectacularly in an effort to chat up someone.
Cream: verb 1. to knock someone down forcibly; 2. to cream oneself: to become excited to the point of ejaculation.
Cream cracker: noun, rhym. a person of low social status: Knacker. Creamer, abbr.
Cripple juice: noun strong liquor. See also: Idiot juice.
Crouching Tiger: noun, abbr. a small bottle of vodka smuggled into a pub or underage nightclub and then used to top up soft drinks from the alcohol-free bar: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Naggin.
Crufts: noun a derogatory term for a nightclub or school with a higher proportion of ugly females than pretty ones.
Cut someone's lunch: verb to steal the attentions of a girl who was in the process of being chatted up by another male.
D
D4 head: noun a silly or foolish girl: Dumb, Ditsy and Dependent on Daddy.
Daggers: noun venomous looks, especially from a woman: give daggers; verb to deliver such a look. See also: Filthy.
Damien, up the: adj. having a child developing in the uterus [Brit. Aus. informal, Up the duff]: Damien Duff. [Damien Duff is a soccer player who plays for Ireland.] See also: Ballyjames.
Dance card: noun a person's sexual history. Example: ‘Hey, Dude, I have all of the O'Prey sisters on my dance card.’
Daniel Day: noun, rhym. the Luas, a suburban light-rail system that serves Dublin: Daniel Day-Lewis. [Daniel Day-Lewis is an Irish-born actor who won an Oscar for his performance as Christy Brown in My Left Foot.] Example: ‘Are you driving into town?’ ‘Nah, fock it, I think I'll get the old Daniel Day.’ ‘Cool, that way you can get mullered.’ Danny Day, abbr.
Deck: verb to knock somebody to the floor with a punch: decked; adj. the state of having been knocked to the floor with a punch.
Deep Heat: noun, pl., rhym. feet.
Denis: noun a purple bruise caused by a lover kissing or sucking the skin: a hickey: Denis Hickie. [Denis Hickie is an Ireland rugby international.]
Diner's remorse: noun the feeling of deep regret that comes over a woman when a fellow diner's order looks more appetizing than her own.
See also: Food envy.
Ditchpig: noun an extremely ugly woman. See also: Moonpig.
DNS: noun, abbr. North Dublin, particularly the socially disadvantaged part: d'north side /de nort soyid/.
Doggy lipstick: noun a dog's erection. Also in the abbreviated form, lipstick.
Donald: have a Donald noun, rhym. to defecate, to take a dump: Donald Trump.
Drain the lizard: verb (of a man) to urinate.
Drico: noun Brian O'Driscoll. [Brian O'Driscoll is the captain of the Ireland rugby team and the 2005 Lions.] Also the Dricster, Dricmeister, Dricmeister General.
Drop anchor in Porcelain Bay: verb to discharge faeces from the body into a toilet.
See also: Drop the kids off at the pool; Drop the shopping.
Drop biscuits: verb to emit gas from the anus.
Drop the kids off at the pool: verb to discharge faeces from the body in a very hurried manner.
See also: Drop the shopping; Drop anchor in Porcelain Bay.
Drop the shopping: verb to discharge faeces from the body in a very hurried manner. See also: Drop anchor in Porcelain Bay; Drop the kids off at the pool.
Dubes: noun, pl. Dubarry Docksiders, a brand of hand-stitched, leather boat shoe popular in South Dublin.
Dublin: adj. a euphemism to describe someone of a low social status. Example: ‘Our new cleaner, she's really nice, but she's REAL Dublin.’
Dublin 4: noun the most desirable postcode in Dublin.
Dublin (twenty) 4: noun the least desirable postcode in Dublin, Tallaght.
Dublin 4 (teen): noun Dundrum.
Dude: noun a man, a guy.
Dulchie: noun A native Dubliner who lives and commutes to the city from the new dormitory suburbs in counties Wicklow, Kildare or Meath.
E
Eartha: have an Eartha verb, rhym. to defecate, to shit: Eartha Kitt. [Eartha Kitt (b. 26 January 1928) is an American-born singer and actress whose coquettish, self-deprecating style recalls that of Marlene Dietrich.] Example: ‘Dorling, I'm heading upstairs for an Eartha Kitt. I might be some time.’ ‘Okay, I'll pop a toilet roll in the fridge.’ ‘God, I love you.’
Easy like Sunday morning: noun the state of being relaxed and untroubled. [From the hit single ‘Easy’ by The Commodores (1977).]
Edge-of-the-bed virgin: noun a girl who seems keen to have sexual intercourse for the first time, but then at the last minute insists on engaging in a long period of soul-searching on the subject.
Eppo: noun, abbr. a fit of rage or anger, from epileptic fit.
Exes and Ohhhs: noun a game in which males try to bed as many of their former girlfriends as they can over a specified period of time.
Eye, wipe someone's: verb to beat another male in a contest to sleep with the same girl.
F
Feds: noun, abbr. the Gardaí, the Irish police, from Federal Bureau of Investigation (US).
Feed the toothless donkey: verb to unsuccesfully try to achieve sexual arousal in a woman using one's hand.
Filthy: noun a venomous look, especially from a woman: give a filthy or filthies; verb to deliver such a look.
See also: Daggers.
Five-knuckle shuffle:a noun the act of masturbating.
Fleck: noun someone of low social standing. See also: Ken Acker; Knacker; Skanger; Skobie.
Fleck Republic: noun a generic term used to describe a socially disadvantaged area. See also: Knackeragua.
Flick: verb give the flick: to break-up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, usually in a cruel and cursory fashion.
Flicks: noun the cinema.
Flick the Vs: verb to make a V-shape from one's index and middle finger as a gesture of abuse or contempt.
Flipper: noun a female with a history of engaging in relationships with men who later discover they're gay.
Floor: verb to press down hard on the accelerator pedal of a car.
Flying waitress: noun an air-hostess.
Folding green: noun money.
Food envy: noun the jealous feeling that comes over a woman when a fellow diner's order looks more appetizing than her own.
See also: Diner's remorse.
Foxrock tractor: noun an SUV, a high-performance, four-wheel-drive vehicle.
Fresher: noun a first-year student in college, from fresh meat.
Funbags: noun a woman's breasts.
See also: Airbags; Lung capacity; Rack; Top tens; Walters.
Funbundle: noun an aesthetically pleasing girl, particularly one with large breasts.
G
Gaff: noun a house.
Gag: verb to want something desperately, usually sex: gagging for it.
GAL: abbr. an exclamation to convey that someone is being petty or ridiculous: Get A Life.
Geebag gumboots: noun knee-high boots worn by women, often of low moral virtue.
See al
so: Slut wellies.
George Hook: noun, rhym. 1. a lascivious look. [George Hook is an Irish rugby pundit and drivetime radio host.] Example: ‘That bird there is giving me big-time George Hooks.’ ‘Hey, that's my sister.’ ‘Live with it, Dude.’ noun, rhym. 2. a malicious look.
Gick, the: noun a nickname or term of abuse for Terenure College, a prestigious South Dublin secondary school famous for playing rugby. Terenure > Nure > Manure > Gick.
Girvinator, the: noun Girvan Dempsey, the Leinster and Ireland rugby full-back.
God botherers: noun, pl. strangers who try to talk to you about religion, especially the ones who call to your door.
Godot: noun a female who is unwilling or unable to become sexually aroused, a woman who never climaxes, no matter how long you wait. [Waiting for Godot is an absurdist play by the Irish Nobel Prize–winner Samuel Beckett, which was first published in 1952.]
Golden goal: noun an unexpected sexual encounter that originates after closing time at a bus stop, taxi rank or fast-food outlet.
Grandington: noun 1,000.
Grant Mitchell's phone: adj. out of order. Example: ‘Sorry, Dude, I scored your ex last night.’ ‘You're Grant Mitchell's phone, my friend.’ ‘What can I say? She was all over me.’
Gregory Peck: noun, rhym. neck. [Gregory Peck (5 April 1916-12 June 2003) was an American film actor who won the Best Actor Oscar for his role in the 1961 classic To Kill A Mockingbird.]
H
Hairy cyclops: noun the male genital organ.
Hand Solo: noun the act of masturbating.
Hanging: adj. hungover. Example: ‘I am seriously hanging here.’ ‘What was that shit we were drinking anyway?’ ‘Brake fluid.’
Hank: adj., rhym. hungry, starving: Hank Marvin. [Hank Marvin (b. Brian Robson Rankin, 28 October 1941) was a guitarist with the popular instrumental band The Shadows. They began life as the backing group for Cliff Richard, but achieved success in their own right in the late 1950s and early 1960s, between the demise of skiffle and the emergence of R ‘n’ B and Merseybeat]
Happy bo bappy: adj. feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.
Happy camper: noun someone experiencing pleasure or contentment; not a happy camper, someone who is annoyed about something.
See also: Contented temporary tent-dweller.
Harrelson: noun an erection, or ‘woody’: Woody Harrelson. [Woody Harrelson is an American actor who has starred in such films as Natural Born Killers and The People vs Larry Flint.] Example: ‘I can't wait for you to meet my grandmother. Oh my God, here she comes. Stand up.’ ‘Shit! I can't! I've got a dirty big Harrelson on me.’
Head-wrecker: noun (of a person or relationship) demanding a lot of patience or attention.
Heddild: noun The Evening Herald, a popular newspaper among Dublin's lower social classes.
High-five: noun a gesture of celebration or greeting in which two people slap each other's open palms with their arms raised; verb to perform such a gesture.
Hillbilly Idiot Juice: noun bourbon.
Hit and miss: noun, rhym. a piss.
Homemade soup, a face like: noun (of a woman) ugly.
Honey: noun a sexually attractive woman.
Horndog: noun a man or woman with a particularly large sexual appetite.
Horrendufied: adj. drunk to the point of being unable to stand. Example: ‘I can't make it into work today, boss. I was focking horrendufied last night. I'm still a bit pissed this morning actually.’ ‘That's okay… and don't call me boss – it's Dad.’
See also: Mullered; Transmogrified; Trousered.
Horse: verb to eat greedily, as if from a nosebag.
Hospital pass: noun a poor pass in rugby that places the receiver in mortal danger.
Hots, the: noun an attraction.
Hound: noun an ugly or unsightly woman.
Howiya: noun a person of low social standing, from the greeting popular in socially disadvantaged parts of Dublin.
Huggy Bear: noun cool, calm. [Huggy Bear was a character in the 1970s American TV show Starsky and Hutch who was renowned for his coolness.] Example: ‘This is a big game. You must be kacking it.’ ‘No, I'm actually Huggy Bear at the moment.’
Hum: noun smell.
Hurl: verb to vomit; noun any matter vomited from the stomach.
I
Ice queen: noun a female with a frosty demeanour.
Idiot juice: noun strong liquor. See also: Cripple juice.
Ivana Trump: noun, rhym. to defecate, a dump.
J
J1er: noun a summer trip to the United States made by Irish students for the purposes of finding work, named after the temporary work visa they require to do this.
Jackanory: noun story: What's the Jackanory? What's happening? [Jackanory was a popular children's television programme in the 1970s and 1980s, revived in 2006.]
Jack Palance: noun, rhym. a dance. [Jack Palance (18 February 1919-10 November 2006) was an American actor who was nominated for the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his roles in Sudden Fear and Shane in the early 1950s. He finally landed the coveted statuette forty years later, after playing two parts, those of identical twins Curly and Duke, in the movie City Slickers.]
Jack Rowell: noun, rhym. a towel. [Jack Rowell is a former coach of the England rugby team.]
Jacobs: noun, pl., rhym. testicles, knackers: Jacob's Cream Crackers.
Jammer: noun, rhym. car: Jam jar.
Jammers: adj. full of people, especially a pub.
Japanese helicopter pilot, play the: verb to masturbate furiously, especially with one's mouth open and one's eyes closed.
Javelin: noun the male genital organ; verb throw the javelin: to have sexual intercourse with someone.
J. Edgar: noun a vacuum cleaner: J. Edgar Hoover. [John Edgar Hoover (1895-1972) was the director of the FBI from 1924 until the time of his death. He is credited with organizing the bureau into an efficient law enforcement agency, but was criticized for the part he played in the McCarthy Communist witch-hunts.]
Jizz: noun the male reproductive fluid, containing spermatozoa in suspension.
Jizz rag: noun a piece of cloth, especially a sock, that's used to mop up after an act of masturbation.
John B.: adj. keen: John B. Keane. [John B. Keane was an Irish playwright.] Example: ‘Look at the state of that bird.’ ‘I wouldn't be too John B. on her myself.’ ‘A focking sniper wouldn't take her out.’ See also: Terry.
Johnny B. Goods: noun condoms, rubber johnnies.
See also: Columbo, a raincoat for; Love zeppelin.
Johnny Cashes: noun, pl. girls who wear an excess of fake tan, giving their faces an orangey glow. [Johnny Cash (26 February 1932-12 September 2003) was a highly influential American country and rock ‘n’ roll singer and songwriter, whose hits included ‘Orange Blossom Special’.]
Jump: verb to have sexual intercourse with.
K
K: noun (pl. Ks) 1,000. Example: ‘How much was your cor?’ ‘Sixty Ks.’ ‘Sixty Ks? You must be loaded.’ ‘No, but my old man is.’ ‘Same thing.’
Kack it: verb to experience extreme nervousness or anxiety.
Kacks: noun 1. trousers; 2. a man's underpants; 3. a woman's knickers.
K Club: noun 1. a golf and country club in Straffan, County Kildare; 2. Kielys, a pub in Donnybrook, County Dublin.
Keith: noun an erection: Keith Wood: woody. [Keith Wood is the former captain of the Ireland rugby team.] Example: ‘I've had a dirty big Keith on me since the second that focking Gráinne Seoige walked in.’ ‘Dorling, this is supposed to be our anniversary dinner.’ ‘Oh, yeah.’
Ken: noun, abbr. Heineken, a brand of lager, popular in South Dublin, that originated in the Netherlands.
Ken Acker: noun, abbr. a personification of a socially disadvantaged Dubliner, represented as a man with a wispy moustache, a Celtic shirt and numerous tattoos and sovereign rings. Knacker > K'nacker > Ken Acker.
See also: Fleck; Knacker; Skanger; Skobie.
Kick-
ass: verb to achieve what one has set out to do with ease; adj. kick-ass: extremely good, outstanding. Example: ‘It's not easy being a kick-ass rugby player, you know.’
Kiddy-nipper: noun 1. a young person; 2. an underage drinker.
Kipper: noun someone, especially a girl, with red hair.
Klingon: noun someone who attaches himself or herself to company and is oblivious to the fact that he or she is not wanted.
Knacker: noun someone of low social standing. See also: Fleck; Ken Acker; Skanger; Skobie.
Knackeragua: noun a generic term to describe any disadvantaged part of Dublin. See also: Fleck Republic.
Knackerydoo: noun a nickname for Club 92, a popular South Dublin nightclub.
Knicker-fit: noun a fit of anger or histrionics, especially by a woman. Example: ‘You said you'd be home at ten o'clock!’ ‘Hey, don't have a knicker-fit, Babe.’
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