After a picnic of fried chicken, potato salad, and sweet tea, Carrie suggested they go riding. Wes and a few cousins were the only ones who were game. The group headed to the barn, leaving Garrett and Jess on the porch, together. Their heads were bent towards one another, and they looked to be deep in conversation. Wes shook the picture from his head and distracted himself by making small talk with Carrie’s cousin, Hank.
Carrie found her favorite horse and Wes watched in awe as she grabbed the mane, hauled herself on top of the horse, and took off bareback. Her hair sailed in the wind behind her as she rode. Spying a ready horse a few feet away, Wes also jumped on bareback and took off after Carrie. She was flying, and it took several minutes for him to catch up to her.
“Whoa, slow down, Carrie girl. You’ve left everyone else in the dust.”
“That was the point,” she called over her shoulder.
Wes stopped the horse. He and Carrie were alone, and she had planned it. Nothing good could come from this. He grabbed the mane and turned the horse to go back.
“Wait up!” Carrie turned and came back to Wes. She stopped her horse in front of his. “Whoa, girl.” Carrie patted the horses head. “I just wanted to catch up, to see how you are doing with all this.”
“All this you marrying my brother nonsense?” Wes said jokingly.
She looked into his eyes and answered, “Yes.”
“I’m with Jess now.”
Carrie’s face flushed. “I know,” she answered quietly.
There was nothing left to say. Turning the horses towards the farm they headed back to the gathering.
As the older crowd went off to bed, or hotels, one by one, the younger group got rowdier. As groups headed off to the barn to the party, Wes gave the excuse that he had to get up early to pick his mom up at the airport. After double checking that Jess was good to stay at the farmhouse for the night, and threatening the existence of her rear if she drove, he headed to the hotel, alone.
Wes called his mom, faking enthusiasm for the upcoming wedding, promised to pick her up right on time in the morning, a dozen times. The mother of the groom sounded like a bundle of nerves and Wes would be glad to have her on the same side of the country tomorrow.
Stretching out on the bed, his feet still in boots, hung off the edge of the bed. Wes allowed himself a small fantasy of the memory of the day he had spent with Carrie. Sadly, he realized that short time was the happiest of his life. And the day after tomorrow, Carrie would be his sister-in-law. Wes groaned out loud at the thought. He couldn’t possibly handle family gatherings, Carrie sitting in Garrett's lap by the Christmas tree. Eventually, their children running around the ranch. Bile rose in his throat.
Wes punched the pillow, flipped over, and fully dressed, fell into a fitful sleep.
Sun filtered through the curtains, rousing Wes.
“Damn,” he said, looking at the clock. It was seven in the morning. “I haven’t slept past five in years.” Wes stretched and yawned. He then called Kevin, Jess’ brother, to check in and see how things were going at the ranch.
In the shower, he heard a pounding on the hotel door. Wes quickly toweled off, throwing on just his jeans. He then opened the door.
There stood Jessica. Her hair was a mess, bits of hay sticking out here and there. Makeup from last night smeared across her face. And she smelled… flammable.
“What the hell happened to you, Jess?”
She stood still, staring at Wes, eyes red-rimmed.
“Jess?”
She burst into tears.
Wes, immediately grabbed her and pressed her into his bare chest. “Shhh, Jess. It’s okay, what happened?”
“Oh Wes, I did a bad thing.”
Wes froze. “What bad thing did you do Jess?” His voice was low.
She looked up at him; the guilt was all over her face.
“Jess, you didn’t.” Wes took a second look at the hay in her hair. The buttons of her shirt were askew. He could now smell his brother’s cologne over the bourbon.
She nodded.
“Damn, Jess.” Wes should feel jealousy and anger at Garrett. Instead, he just felt sad for Carrie, sorry for Jess, and hopeless for the messy situation.
“I’m sorry, Wes.”
Wes ran his hands through his hair. He guided Jess into the room and shut the door.
Jessica sat down on the bed.
Wes looked at the clock. “I’ve got to go get my mom.” He threw on a shirt, grabbed his wallet and keys. “Jess, stay here. Sober up, take a shower. We will figure this out when I get back.”
Jess, usually so in control, now sat slumped over on the bed, looking pitiful. He kissed the top of her head. “Hang in there.”
As soon as Wes got his mom settled in at the farmhouse, he headed straight back to the hotel. Thankfully the drop off had gone smoothly, and Carrie and Garrett were nowhere in sight. Anger had started to creep in and though he had made mistakes in the past, Wes wasn’t sure if he would be able to contain his composure if he had come across his brother this morning.
Wes had thought all morning on the long drive to the airport. The situation was a mess. He knew part of him should be hopeful that now that Garrett had messed things up, he and Carrie could have a shot, but all he could think about was how much this was going to hurt her.
Jessica opened the door for Wes. She was looking much better than when he had left her this morning. Her hair was back to its smooth, gleaming self, and her face was clean and bare. She had on his white button-down shirt and a pair of jeans.
“Wes.” She leaned into his chest for comfort. He wrapped his arms around her. Wes held her.
“Garrett has to tell Carrie, Jess.”
Jessica looked to Wes, desperation on her face. “No, it was just a mistake. We can let it go.”
“No.”
She broke away from the embrace. “But why? It was a one-night thing, just a simple mistake.”
“This is the least simple mistake you two could have ever made. Damn it, Jess, did you even think about Carrie?”
“Of course, I mean, no, she didn’t come up. I was drunk.”
“No excuse.”
“Well, maybe I did you a solid.” Sheepishly, Jess looked up at him.
Wes took a step towards her and leaned down. “Don’t you dare bring me into this.” His tone sounded threatening in his ears.
“You started this whole thing.”
“The hell I did. I spanked her twice; I owned up to it. Yes, I made a mistake just by touching her but, Jess, I would never, ever take it as far as you did.”
Jess sighed and flopped down on the bed.
“You are right. Oh man, I’ve messed up.”
“Yes, you and Garrett.”
There was silence for a few minutes as they thought.
“But why do we have to tell her?”
Wes sat beside her on the bed, hand on her thigh. “Because if you don’t, you are taking away Carrie’s choice.”
“What do you mean? To choose you?”
“No, Jess. Believe it or not, I am not looking at this as if it is an opportunity for me. I’m thinking about Carrie. She should know what happened, and then she should be able to choose if she wants to forgive Garrett and move on with the wedding. I think hiding the truth before she makes an eternal commitment would be even worse than having done the deed itself.”
Jess nodded. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. I’ll talk to Garrett.”
Wes rubbed her back. “Damn,” he muttered.
“Yes, damn.” Jess leaned her head on his shoulder. “I just feel so guilty.” She leaned up and looked at Wes. “Would you do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“Wes, would you punish me? I know it won’t fix anything and I know that I will carry the weight of this mistake my whole life, but I just want to feel, I don’t know.” She leaned her head back down on his shoulder.
“You want to feel like someone cares about you? Enough to correct you?�
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She nodded.
“That’s what this type of relationship is about. The man loving, protecting, guiding the woman. And correcting her. The man becomes the best version of himself that he can be because of the responsibility to care so wholly for someone other than himself. The woman has a helper to guide her to the best version of herself that she can be.”
“I’m starting to see how it works.” She looked up at him, hopefully. “Maybe we can make this work, you and me.”
Wes shook his head. “No. We will never work, not like that.”
She sighed. “You’re right.”
“But I will do this thing for you, Jess. This last time. Then you need to find a man who can take care of you as well as you care for him. But someone other than me.”
She nodded in agreement.
Wes kissed her forehead and stood up. “I don’t think you need a lecture from me.”
She shook her head.
“Stand up, take your jeans off and bend over the edge of the bed, please.”
Wes watched as Jess shimmied out of her jeans. She laid herself over the end of the bed.
“Take off my shirt, first. I have to wear that tonight.”
She quickly got up, unbuttoned the shirt, then hung it back on the hanger. She returned to the bed, fully nude.
Wes took in the beautiful body of his best friend, and he knew without a doubt that this would be the very last time he saw Jessica without her clothes. He unbuckled his belt. Jess cringed as the belt whooshed through the air as he freed it from his belt loops.
“Jess, this is going to hurt.”
Jess took a deep breath and steeled herself, her body tense.
Wes doubled the belt over and lifted it in the air. He then brought it down on her bared bottom with a loud, “crack.” Jess gasped but otherwise made no sound.
He brought the belt down ten more times. Each time, Jess made a noise, but she never cried out. The backs of her thighs and her bottom had angry red stripes across them. She lay limp over the bed and was sobbing.
Wes gathered her naked body in his arms and brought her onto his lap. He held her and stroked her back quietly as she sobbed.
“Jess, you know I love you.”
“I love you too, Wes.”
“You know I can’t love you, entirely, in that way though, right?”
She looked up at him, her eyes red and teary. “I know. It’s the same for me. It's a shame, life sure would be a lot simpler if we could.”
Wes kissed her on the cheek. “Get dressed. Life is about to get a lot more complicated.”
Jess sighed, standing to dress. “I know. But I feel like I can somehow deal with it now. I couldn’t have before. Thank you, Wes.”
“Never in my life would I have thought you’d be thanking me for a belting.” Wes laughed as he took the white button down off the hanger and put it on.
“Although I will be dealing with it standing up, I’m afraid.” Jess checked out the marks on her bottom in the mirror.
Once they were dressed, they headed for the hotel door. Jess looked at Wes, “Ready?” she asked.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
They made their way to car and headed back to the farm.
Wes took a deep breath and steeled his nerves. He had to maintain control when he saw Garrett's face, or he would take him out right then and there in front of Carrie’s grandmother.
The farmhouse was quiet and seemed almost deserted. Carrie appeared. She wore a flowery dress made of a sheer material that waved in the breeze. Her hair was pulled half up and curled down her back. Wes thought she had a smile on her face, but as she got closer, he saw that her eyes were red-rimmed and the smile was a grimace.
Her pace accelerated as she came barreling towards them. “There you are, you two-bit whore!”
“Oh crap,” Jessica mumbled under her breath.
Wes moved in front of Jessica.
“Don’t, Wes, I’ve got this coming.” Jessica moved to meet Carrie.
Wes pushed her back with his arm. “No, Jessica, she’ll regret it if she attacks you, trust me.”
Carrie, closer now, overheard Wes. “The hell I will!” She lunged at Jessica, but Wes stepped in front of her and wrapped his arms around her tight.
“Let me go! Let me go!” Carrie was pounding on his chest with her fists. Wes just kept holding her tight.
“Get out of here, Jess,” he called over his shoulder. He took his keys from his pocket and tossed them to her.
Jess, seeming unsure stood holding the keys.
Wes looked at her and commanded, “Jess, out of here. Now.”
She hurried to the car, throwing a grateful look over her shoulder.
“That’s right, you can run, but you can’t hide. I’m not done with you!” Carrie struggled against Wes. “Whore.”
“That’s enough.” Wes gripped her arms at the elbows and pinned them against her body. He held her firm and leaned down inches from her face. “That’s enough.”
Carrie stood still. She looked down at the ground. Her dress was askew, hanging off of her shoulder, her hair a mess. Her bottom lip began to quiver.
“It’s not fair,” she sobbed.
Wes held her close. Her body was a perfect fit against his. The situation couldn’t be worse, but the feel of her in his arms couldn’t be more right. He inhaled her scent, stroking her back as she cried into his chest. “It’s not fair,” she whispered.
“I know, baby girl.”
Her head snapped up at him. “Baby girl? Baby girl? You were just waiting for this to happen, weren’t you? This is what you wanted.” She tried to shove him away, pushing both hands hard against his chest.
The words stung. Wes couldn’t deny that he had never stopped wanting Carrie from the moment he set eyes on her, but not like this. Not if she had to have her heart broken in the process.
“I would never want this for you. I never want to see you this sad.”
“Like hell, you wouldn’t. You sicko. You just need some woman to be your baby, so you can play daddy. I bet you sent that whore here to break your brother and me up? Didn’t you?”
Her anger turned to fear when she saw the emotion she had elicited register on his face.
Wes’ tone was low and dangerous. “I will let that go because I know you are heartbroken. But you need to get yourself under control, right now, young lady.”
Carrie calmed. Wes watched her carefully as she composed herself.
“Where is everyone?”
“After your lying cheating son of a—”
“Watch it.”
She sized him up. Deciding he meant business, she continued, “Your brother left town as soon as he filled me in this morning. He grabbed up your mama and headed for the airport. Your poor Mama hadn’t even had her feet on solid ground for an hour before he had her back up in the air. Good thing he had the sense to get out of here nice and early before my cousins got up or there would have been a good old-fashioned ass-kicking happening right about now.”
“And your family?”
“I told them to all go home. It’s just so,” Carrie sniffled, “humiliating. They understood. My parents are driving my Grandma back to her house right now.”
Wes picked up the loose strap from her dress and put it back into place. “Why don’t you go throw on some jeans, and we will go for a ride. Horses make great therapists.”
A small smile crossed her lips. “I guess my day just became wide open.” She turned and went back into the farmhouse. Wes followed her and had a seat on the steps of the porch. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed Jess.
Jess picked up on the first ring. “How is she doing?”
“Sad, humiliated.”
Jess groaned on the other end of the line.
“But she’ll be okay.”
“Thanks, Wes, for everything.”
“Goodbye, Jessica.”
Wes put his phone back in his pocket. He looked over the farm, taking
in the beautiful, strange day.
Carrie returned, clomping down the stairs in red cowgirl boots and blue jeans.
“Careful, you’re gonna tear the porch down.”
“I think I’m entitled to stomp, considering the morning that I’ve had.”
Wes acquiesced. “You have a point.”
They headed out to the barn, Wes keeping a wary distance from her.
The horses grazed as Carrie and Wes lay on their backs in the meadow, the clouds meandering across the sky. The day felt much like the one they had spent together at the ranch.
Wes gazed at the extraordinary color behind the clouds. “Is this what they call ‘Carolina Blue?’”
Carrie smiled, “Yes.”
Wes picked a wildflower from next to where he lay and handed it to Carrie, careful not to touch her as he did.
“Thanks.” She inhaled the sweet fragrance, then twirled the stem in her fingers, admiring the beauty of the flower.
“I used to make chains of these flowers when I was a little girl. That seems like ages ago.” She sighed. “What I wouldn’t give to go back to simpler times. Being an adult is just so complicated.”
“Your life does seem very complicated, right now.”
“Tell me about it.” Carrie laughed bitterly. She turned towards Wes and propped herself up on her elbow. “I thought I was doing the right thing, marrying Garrett. Making the grown-up choice. I’m angry at Jessica, and I’m furious with Garrett, but honestly, I’m disappointed in myself.”
Wes sat up, leaning back on his elbows. “Why?”
Her voice was barely audible. “Because I knew I was making the wrong choice.” She looked up at Wes. “And I’m afraid I’m too late to fix it.” Her gaze was expectant.
Wes sat up. “Carrie, you can’t make this decision lightly. You’ve already made one mistake. Tomorrow was supposed to be your wedding day. You need to take some time to think.”
“But I know what I want, Wes. I’ve known it since the first day I met you.”
“Me too.” The confession was freeing. “But I don’t want you jumping out of Garrett’s arms and into mine. The life I’m looking for, well it’s a serious commitment.”
“You’re looking for a strong woman, and a good little girl?” she whispered.
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