by Lynne Hinton
“I want to go to her apartment,” Eve answered. She was antsy after the long trip, and even though she was tired, she didn’t want to prolong her search. The city was bigger and probably more dangerous than she had imagined.
Daniel nodded. “Okay, let’s put our bags in the room and we’ll head out,” he said. He handed her a key.
Eve looked at the thin card, not sure if she knew how to use it, but she didn’t worry because she figured Daniel would help her get into her room. She was glad that he had come with her. Now that she was in Las Vegas, she understood that she would never have been able to navigate such a place on her own.
She followed him out to the car, stood at the trunk, and when it was opened, pulled out her small duffel bag, sliding the strap across her shoulder. She watched Daniel as he yanked out his large suitcase and set it next to him.
“You need some help with that?” she asked, teasing him.
“Funny girl,” he replied, shutting the trunk. “This way.” And he headed back into the lobby and over to the elevators, pushed the button, and held the door while Eve walked in. He moved in behind her and reached in front of her, hitting the button for the top floor. She looked at him with raised eyebrows.
“What?” he asked.
“You must come here more than you say,” she answered. “Top floor?”
“The manager has a soft spot for police officers. She likes to take care of me.” He winked.
Eve smiled. “I don’t really need to hear anything else.”
The doors opened and Daniel led her to her room. He took the key from her, and she was able to see how the key slid into the lock. When it opened and she walked in, she couldn’t help herself, she dropped her bag at the same time her mouth fell wide open. “Are you sure this is just for one person?” she asked as Daniel came in and stood beside her. There was a huge king-size bed with a dozen pillows meticulously placed near the headboard, a long narrow chest of drawers with a flat-screen television situated on top, and a large desk and rolling office chair near the window. She saw the open door to the bathroom and could see from the door that it was bigger than the one all the nuns shared at the monastery.
“I’ll be right next door,” he replied, smiling, seeming to enjoy Eve’s first response to their lodging. “We have adjoining rooms,” he explained. He walked over and opened the curtains, and the flashing lights from the Strip poured through the window. “Great view,” he said as he walked back to the door. “Just let me throw my bag in and freshen up and I’ll be ready to go.”
Eve felt her head nod up and down. She was still in a state of shock over the size of the hotel room and the glare of the city below her. She heard the door close behind her, but suddenly, all she could hear was her sister’s voice.
“It’s so beautiful, Eve,” Dorisanne had told her after she first arrived in Vegas. She had called the convent and Eve had answered. “It’s like a party all the time, a glorious, spectacular grown-ups’ party twenty-four hours a day.”
Eve moved closer to the window as she recalled the conversation she’d had with Dorisanne just after she had relocated to Nevada. Eve had recently taken her final vows and had been received as a nun in full standing as a member of the community. Just as her sister had fallen in love with Vegas, she was in love with Pecos and Our Lady of Guadalupe Abbey.
“Do people want to be at a party all the time?” she had asked, knowing that she couldn’t imagine life without order, without silence and prayer and quiet worship.
Dorisanne laughed. “You’ve been brainwashed by those monks,” she replied. “Most people, yes,” she answered. “Most people want to think that their lives are exciting and brilliant and something that they have to stay awake for. Most people want their lives to be like this. Vegas is amazing. It twinkles and shines all the time.”
Eve had thought about what her sister was saying. She thought about Dorisanne and how she had always been drawn to things that were bright and flashy. Since she was a little girl she had loved the lights of the stage. This discovery had occurred at a very young age when their mother had taken her two daughters to a show at a concert hall in Albuquerque. It was some kind of a Disney production about a princess; Eve didn’t recall the details. She did remember, however, that there were fancy costumes and big dance numbers, and while Eve ended up sleeping through most of the performances or trying to read the entire program, her little sister had come to life.
She stood on her seat the entire time, oohing and ahhing over every singer and dancer. As soon as the houselights went down and the curtains were raised, it was easy to see that Dorisanne was hooked. And from that point on, she made sure that she was signed up for every dance class they offered in Cerrillos and Madrid, even making the Captain drive her to Santa Fe when she was old enough to take classes at a dance studio that held elaborate recitals at the end of every year.
As a young girl, Eve had taken to horses and fast bikes, wanting the dirt paths and twisting mining roads of the high desert, while Dorisanne had wanted only to be onstage. Lights and action and music and applause, that was what she craved. And after all those years of thinking it was just the desire to get away from the small town of Madrid or just that she had a good job or later because she was married to a Vegas man, Eve now understood the real draw of this town for her sister. It was like living on a stage. It was all Dorisanne had ever really wanted.
“You ready?” Daniel had returned and was standing at the door.
“It’s something, isn’t it?” he asked as she remained at the window. “It’s like Disney World for grown-ups.”
“And Dorisanne thinks she has finally become the princess.” Eve turned around and headed out of the room.
TWENTY
It didn’t take Eve long to realize that not all of Las Vegas was as bright and beautiful as the section of town where they were staying. Once Daniel turned the car in the direction of Dorisanne’s address, the shine of the famous desert city quickly faded.
“Wow, I can actually see that it’s night,” Eve commented as they drove into the darkness. “I was thinking I needed to get out my sunglasses driving down that street. It’s like Hollywood Boulevard or something.” She turned to Daniel, who was suddenly grinning. “What?” she asked.
“What do you know about Hollywood Boulevard?”
“I went to L.A.,” she told him, a bit offended at his question. “The cabdriver took me to some of the famous places before I left town.”
“Well, Hollywood Boulevard doesn’t have anything on the Strip,” he commented.
“Yeah, that’s true,” she agreed.
There was a pause.
“You didn’t really ask a cabdriver to take you to Hollywood Boulevard, did you?” he questioned her.
She glanced away. “Well, maybe I just happened to see the famous road while I was on my way somewhere else.”
Daniel grinned. “The cathedral?”
“Harley-Davidson store,” she replied.
Daniel laughed. “Should have known. You didn’t happen to buy a helmet, did you?”
“No. I looked at them, though.”
Daniel eyed her. “Are you telling the truth?”
“Yeah, I saw them on a shelf when I walked in.” She smiled. “Anyway, enough about that. Vegas is one lit-up city, that’s for sure,” she said, having had all of that conversation she wanted. “It’s like they don’t want you to know it’s night. It’s as if they don’t want you to be able to tell what time it is.”
“That’s the strategy in the casinos,” he noted.
“Why?” Eve wanted to know.
“So you won’t realize how long you’ve been standing at the tables or sitting at a slot machine,” Daniel answered. “No clocks, no reality,” he added. “The whole town is an illusion, a place to think you’re somewhere that you’re not.”
“Or somebody you’re not,” she added, wondering if that was part of the draw for her sister.
“Yeah, I guess we all have our little es
cape fantasies,” Daniel responded.
“You talking about our boy from the 1800s again?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’m talking about anybody. Aren’t most people looking for a way out of the life they’ve made for themselves?”
Eve was surprised. “I don’t think so,” she answered. “I figured most people liked their lives.”
Daniel turned to look at her. “You actually think that?”
“Yeah, I guess,” she responded. “Why? Don’t you?”
“Don’t I what?” he asked. “What are you wanting to know? Don’t I think that most people like their lives, or don’t I like mine?”
She thought about the question he was asking. “I don’t know, how about both?”
There was a pause.
“I think most people like their lives okay, but if they had an out, if they could escape even just for a weekend or if they were allowed out for a month, they would take the opportunity. They do.” He reached up and rubbed his chin, then placed his arm on the side of the door. “That’s why this town is so popular,” he added. “That’s exactly what most of those people walking down the Strip are doing.”
“Escaping?”
He nodded. “Exactly. They’re trying to imagine what their lives might look like if they were in a totally free zone.”
“Only nothing about that place looks free,” she commented. “I saw the price of our hotel rooms. Speaking of which, I want to help pay for this trip.”
“It’s not a problem,” he said, waving away her offer. “But I’m not talking about this place being financially free.”
“Then what?”
“I’m talking about being judgment-free. No consequences, no rules.”
“But that’s not real life,” she argued. “Nobody can live without consequences, without rules. Even Vegas has rules.”
“Well, let’s just say they’re a little more lax than the kind of rules and consequences that most people are used to and expect.”
“That explains why people come here for a weekend or a bachelor’s party, but why would somebody want to live here? Why does Dorisanne like it here so much?”
“She’s a dancer,” Daniel answered.
“Yeah, that part I know.” Eve sighed and studied the scenery outside her window. There were a few houses, a strip of run-down motels, and a few pawnshops. She turned back to Daniel. “And she loves the bright lights and the drama of a place like this. I get that. But I don’t think of my sister as being so hedonistic that she doesn’t want rules and boundaries. She did get married, after all. That’s a relationship with certain rules and boundaries, right?”
“Yes, I suppose it is.” He paused a moment and then continued. “I think she likes the allure of a fantasy life too. I think she likes the thought of being away from reality as much as the next person. You know, if you think about it, it’s not very different from the choice you made.”
“What?” This comparison surprised Eve. “How can Las Vegas be anything like taking vows and living in a religious community?”
He didn’t reply right away. She waited as he signaled and made a right turn.
“Oh, I get it,” she answered herself. “You think that choosing to join an order is a kind of escape just like coming to Vegas can be. You think I did it to get away from reality?”
He lifted his shoulders slightly. “In that long view, they are both paths different from most people’s realities. You two are very different women, but in some ways, you have both done the same thing.”
“We both left Madrid,” she said. “We both left the small town where we were born and raised.”
“And you both landed in places where most everyone else just visits once in a while.”
“Except more people visit Dorisanne’s place than visit mine.” She looked ahead and noticed they were coming to an area with several apartment complexes. There were names like Desert Sun Apartments, Desert Wind Luxury Townhomes, and Desert Sky Condos. She wondered if they were getting close to where Dorisanne lived.
“When are you expected back to your place?” he asked, raising the issue she had avoided for the entire trip.
“Three weeks,” she answered.
“You want to talk about it?” He started slowing as he made a turn onto a small side street.
She shook her head and he didn’t push.
The two were quiet as he pulled into an apartment complex parking lot and stopped. She noticed the sign as they entered, “Desert Home Place,” and she looked around at the mostly nondescript large brick buildings in front of them, thinking that the complex looked nothing like the desert home she and her sister had grown up in. The parking lot was well-lit but mostly empty, and Eve wondered if everyone who lived there worked late hours.
“This is it,” he said as he put the engine in Park. “Welcome to your sister’s world.”
TWENTY-ONE
Dorisanne’s apartment complex appeared to be made up of eight or ten brick buildings, each one three stories high. There were thick, wide sets of cement stairs in the center of each building, and it appeared as if there was a unit in each corner and two apartments side by side on the main walkways. “Well, what do we do now?” Eve asked.
“I go in,” Daniel answered, shutting down the engine.
Eve studied the place. It was not a bad-looking housing area, but it was also not anything she would consider to be high-end. She wondered how much Dorisanne paid to live there but then realized it would mean very little to her. She hadn’t paid rent or utilities or insurance or even a car payment since she was in college. And even then, she didn’t really pay the bills. Those all went to her parents and she simply lived on an allowance.
Dorisanne may have had trouble managing her money and often relied upon the assistance of others to help her make it month to month, but she still knew a lot more about living in reality than Eve did. Maybe Daniel was right, she thought. Maybe the convent was a kind of escape. She certainly never had to worry about her own financial security and well-being as a nun.
“Do you know which one is hers?”
Daniel glanced around. “It’s around back, south side.” He unfastened his seat belt and pulled the key out of the ignition and handed the set to Eve. “You wait here. I’ll go knock on the door. If she answers, I’ll come and get you. If there’s no answer, I’ll come and tell you, and then I’ll try to find the manager and see if he’ll let us in. Lock the door behind me.”
Eve didn’t respond, but when Daniel got out of the driver’s seat and walked around the car, she was waiting there.
“I thought I told you to wait.”
She shrugged. “I’m not that kind of girl,” she answered, smiling.
Daniel shook his head. “Well, give me back my keys.”
She handed him the set and he locked the car. He started walking toward the building, and Eve hustled to catch up.
They walked around the corner of the first building and up the stairs in the back. “She lives on the second floor,” she said softly, recalling the conversation she’d had with the Captain about Dorisanne’s fall and his thought that she was not telling the truth about how it happened. She had been wrong in thinking her sister’s apartment was on the ground floor, and Dorisanne hadn’t lied.
Daniel waited until Eve was next to him, and they both stood in front of the unit right at the top of the stairs and looked at the door marked with a large F. The curtains in the front window were closed, and there were no lights on inside.
If she’s in there, thought Eve, she’s asleep or hiding.
Daniel knocked.
They waited.
He knocked again, this time calling out her name. “Dorisanne,” he spoke to the door. “Dorisanne, it’s Daniel. You in there?”
There was no response.
“Maybe we should have gone to the Rio first,” Eve suggested.
Daniel knocked again.
Eve stepped away and tried peeking through the front window. There
was one narrow opening between the curtains and she cupped her hands, pressing her face against the glass, trying to see inside.
“She ain’t here,” came a voice that startled Eve, causing her to jump back, right into Daniel. She quickly looked in the direction the voice had come from. Suddenly, Daniel was beside her, his arm shielding her. They were both staring at someone peering at them from the unit next to Dorisanne’s, A woman, blocked by the door, was standing there, the chain lock in place, her face and body barely visible. “She ain’t here,” the woman said again.
“Do you know when she’ll be back?” Daniel asked, dropping his arm away from Eve, no longer perceiving a threat.
“You a cop?” The door closed a little more.
“I’m a friend,” Daniel answered.
There was no response.
“I’m her sister,” Eve spoke up. “I’m Dorisanne’s sister.”
The door opened again slightly.
“You the nun?”
Eve wondered if Dorisanne told everyone that her older sister had taken vows. It seemed that every time she met someone who knew Dorisanne, they always knew of her chosen vocation.
“Yes,” she answered, hoping it would bode well with her sister’s neighbor.
“You don’t look like no nun,” the woman noted.
“Yes, well—”
Daniel interrupted. “When was the last time you saw Dorisanne?”
The woman pulled the door closed a bit more and Eve rested her hand on Daniel’s arm, a kind of restraint on his participation in the conversation.
“We just got here from New Mexico,” Eve volunteered. “We’ve been worried about Dorisanne. We haven’t heard from her in a couple of weeks, and so we came down here to make sure she’s okay.”
She waited. The door in front of her was still only slightly opened.
“She’s been gone all week,” the woman responded. “I ain’t seen her in about a week.”
There was a voice from behind the woman, a man’s voice, asking who she was talking to.